Would you lavish your kids with diamonds?

[TravelingGal]

Say money is not an issue. Would you buy diamonds for your daughters if they were say...under 5 years of age?

I know a gal whose daughters (ages 3 and 5) wore diamond stud earrings (which were probably bigger than the average adult could afford) and diamond bangle bracelets (much like the WF ones). Cute girls, but I really hate envying a 5 year old because she had studs and I didn''t! LOL...

And they love their bling. At least the older one does. She told her mommy that she needed "bigger bling." Asked once if they were real, she just said "of course!"

Personally...I would not. I remember looking at my mom''s jewelry (which was totally modest and mall quality) and thinking I''d have my own stuff some day. When I was growing up, diamonds were not for little girls. But I hear these days people even buy LV bags for the little ones...

What do you think?

 

[diamondfan]

I dunno, I only have sons, but that, no matter how much money one has, seems young to me. If they got it as gifts and it was saved for them, I could maybe get it more...but kids that young are not likely to take as great care of bling and that could be sad if they lost stuff. Too much for a kid that age to deal with in mho.

 

[monarch64]

I don''t think I would "lavish" my hypothetical little girls with diamonds...but I don''t see anything wrong with giving them/her a special piece of diamond jewelry to wear on certain occasions below the age of 10. My first piece of jewelry was a really petite gold ring with a little diamond chip in it, my grandmother (also a jewelry lover, my mother was not) gave me when I was 3 or 4. I still have that ring, I had it sized to fit me again when I was in junior high school and it''s still in my jewelry box today.

As far as lavishing a 5 year old with studs and bangles that an adult could wear...kind of weird, imo. to me it is like turning your daughter into a "mini-me." I always had play jewelry, play handbags, that sort of thing, when I was little, but nothing uber expensive, certainly no LV or anything designer unless you count OshKosh.

My mom got me a subscription to Vogue when I was 12 and I sort of developed my fascination with designer apparel, etc., from there...but she never pushed it on me.

TGal, your post reminds me of Kimora Lee and her daughters...I can see how a person of those means could very easily lavish their children with smaller versions of the things they themselves have become accustomed to. I don''t know if it''s right or wrong, actually. I don''t know that someone who maybe isn''t so wealthy should be spending money that could be put toward a college or trust fund on things like that when the kids are at a very young age, seems like it would only encourage the "princess principle" and not something possibly more positive, such as academia/education?

I think it would be pretty strange to see a 5 yr. old with diamond studs larger than .25 each...but people do all kinds of things I find strange so maybe I''m the weirdo. Definitely good food for thought.

 

[Deelight]

ummm I definitely would not buy them big substantial pieces but maybe some really little studs like .10 of a carat. I think it would be weird seeing a little kid dripping in diamonds.

 

[Lorelei]

Absolutely not.

 

[bee*]

Date: 3/31/2008 4:52:50 AM
Author: Lorelei
Absolutely not.

ditto

 

[Mrs Mitchell]

Well, according to good old fashioned stuffy British etiquette, diamonds are not worn by unmarried ladies and never before luncheon.

Hence, I guess the coloured ering stone tradition in the UK?

No, in all seriousness, I wouldn''t give a small child diamonds. I gave my God daughter a little asscher pendant for her 16th birthday and her mother thought she was a little too young for that (.25ct). I think she''s actually scared to wear it!

 

[Deelight]

Date: 3/31/2008 6:15:09 AM
Author: Mrs Mitchell
Well, according to good old fashioned stuffy British etiquette, diamonds are not worn by unmarried ladies and never before luncheon.

I hope my BF never hears something like that

Sheesh I could not think of waiting till I am in my 30''s to wear some

 

[PrettyBlues]

No I wouldn''t, based partly on my own experience as a child. My Mom had an anniversary ring, which was so sparkly and pretty - I begged her to let me wear it, just for a little bit. Well I guess my cute face (and partially my insistance

) worked, so she gave it to me to wear. I promptly went outside to play, and lost it somewhere in the grass!

My parents spent ages looking for it, but it was gone. Luckily it was also insured, so they got a replacement. But no more diamonds for me as a kid!

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 3/31/2008 6:15:09 AM
Author: Mrs Mitchell
Well, according to good old fashioned stuffy British etiquette, diamonds are not worn by unmarried ladies and never before luncheon.

Hence, I guess the coloured ering stone tradition in the UK?

No, in all seriousness, I wouldn''t give a small child diamonds. I gave my God daughter a little asscher pendant for her 16th birthday and her mother thought she was a little too young for that (.25ct). I think she''s actually scared to wear it!

Add to that, diamonds are never worn in the country ( as in country weekend/ shooting/ hunting) unless for a formal party or ball.

 

[ephemery1]

Nope... maybe one nice necklace or bracelet to wear on special occasions, like Monarch said... but definitely nothing expensive, which means probably no real diamonds. Like TG, I was always envious of my mom''s jewelry as well (even though much of it was mall-quality and fairly modest, when I was young) and vowed to begin my own collection when I was old enough to afford it. As soon as I started making serious money babysitting, I started buying little pieces! It was much more meaningful to be earning it myself, and I was 12 or 13... much different from 4 or 5.

I think jewelry is generally more likely to be appreciated and cared for by a teenager than a kindergartener, so I''d be fine with helping my daughter build a collection at that age through Christmas/birthday/graduation gifts... IF we could afford it.

 

[VegasAngel]

Well, when I had earrings in my daughters ears she started out with amethyst & then I put her in some diamond studs but they were small sparklies. She does have a lot of diamond pieces & not, but I just tuck them away. A lot of it is from relatives who know I like jewelry so they buy her stuff.

 

[E B]

Date: 3/31/2008 4:52:50 AM
Author: Lorelei
Absolutely not.

Thritto.

 

[Ellen]

Date: 3/31/2008 10:00:50 AM
Author: EBree

Date: 3/31/2008 4:52:50 AM
Author: Lorelei
Absolutely not.

Thritto.

Quatro.

 

[LitigatorChick]

I''m going to play devil''s advocate here (my mini man has no bling). I see lots of little girls with pierced ears, so why not have diamond studs, if they can afford it? What is the problem? My little guy wears designer jeans - I wear designer jeans, so why shouldn''t my toddler? It is an expense, and they grow out of it fast, but there are lots of silly things people spend money on.

Just some thoughts.

 

[Ellen]

Date: 3/31/2008 10:05:26 AM
Author: LitigatorChick
I'm going to play devil's advocate here (my mini man has no bling). I see lots of little girls with pierced ears, so why not have diamond studs, if they can afford it? What is the problem? My little guy wears designer jeans - I wear designer jeans, so why shouldn't my toddler? It is an expense, and they grow out of it fast, but there are lots of silly things people spend money on.

Just some thoughts.

In my humble opinion, she is creating a monster. The child is already saying she needs bigger bling, at age what, 5?? And she already has enviable sized studs. What is going to make her happy when she is an adult, if mother keeps indulging her? (and I have no reason to think she won't) What will there be to look forward to, to dream about, to appreciate?

And heaven help the man who marry's her.

JMO.

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 3/31/2008 10:12:48 AM
Author: Ellen

Date: 3/31/2008 10:05:26 AM
Author: LitigatorChick
I''m going to play devil''s advocate here (my mini man has no bling). I see lots of little girls with pierced ears, so why not have diamond studs, if they can afford it? What is the problem? My little guy wears designer jeans - I wear designer jeans, so why shouldn''t my toddler? It is an expense, and they grow out of it fast, but there are lots of silly things people spend money on.

Just some thoughts.

In my humble opinion, she is creating a monster. The child is already saying she needs bigger bling, at age what, 5?? And she already has enviable sized studs. What is going to make her happy when she is an adult, if mother keeps indulging her? (and I have no reason to think she won''t) What will there be to look forward to, to dream about, to appreciate?

And heaven help the man who marry''s her.

JMO.

Ditto. I have a few reasons why I don''t think diamonds are appropriate for children.

Firstly, I wouldn''t trust a young child to be responsible enough to value and care for any diamonds which were given, I am sure there is the exception to the rule, but I think it is asking for trouble, loss etc.

There is the jealousy factor of other children, leading to envy fuelled bullying etc, the one with the diamonds possibly bragging, and maybe developing a misguided sense of entitlement. Also as Ellen says, what is left for them to dream about for the future? In my opinion, it is better to wait and save and look forward to luxury items as something you are either gifted with for special birthdays/ occasions once older, or that you work and save towards.

I would think for maybe a young girl who loves diamonds and is perhaps just entering her teens, then a small diamond gift may be appropriate if she is mature enough to appreciate and care for it properly, but I think in no way for a young child, in my opinion diamonds being worn by a child just looks vulgar.

.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

Oh funny this should come up---I was shopping on the weekend (have I mentioned this enuf yet??/

) and a Mom was with her young daughter in the Marc Jacobs dept buying up a storm. Young girl had an LV bag. I'm thiniking, this sets a very high benchmark very early in life for line of thought that one "needs" expensive material goods; and altho I have no empirical evidence, intuitively I would suggest this breeds or lends itself to a sense of entitlement later in life.

I'll too play the deviil's advocate, and beg the question: just because you can--should you?

cheers--Sharon

 

[lyra]

Definitely not, and I have 2 daughters. They still don''t truly appreciate fine jewellery, and they''re 18 and 21. One appreciates it more than the other. The youngest still habitually loses or just doesn''t wear the jewellery she does have. I think on young kids it''s in particulary poor taste to have them wear diamonds, to be honest.

 

[Ellen]

Lorelei, great points.


And Sharon, great question.

(and points too)

 

[AmberWaves]

I definitely wouldn't, partially because I'm afraid that any child I'd have would inherit my insane ability to lose any and everything on her person. Heck, I'm 28, and I have lost my own studs a couple of times and I never take them out! I agree with the previous posters regarding setting a precedent, as I've seen this first hand. I babysat my cousin a lot during my teens, and she was one of those kids who has everything she's ever asked for, even the things she didn't. At 8 she had her own credit card, at 12 she was allowed to buy anything she wanted. And now at 20, she's completely ungrateful with a taste in material items that runs in the high thousands monthly. She still lives at home (not an issue, I did, too), but dropped out of college, doesn't have a job, and yet was rewarded with a new Lexus. Girl is lazy and greedy. Sure, this may be one of those rare instances, but giving the kid credit and diamonds when she was 6/8 created a monster. All IMO, of course.

ETA: Perhaps I'd buy a little sparkle for her when she reached her teens, as I was given my grandma's wedding band at that age, although I was terrified to actually wear it for fear of (as I said earlier) losing it.

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 3/31/2008 10:36:30 AM
Author: canuk-gal
HI:

Oh funny this should come up---I was shopping on the weekend (have I mentioned this enuf yet??/

) and a Mom was with her young daughter in the Marc Jacobs dept buying up a storm. Young girl had an LV bag. I''m thiniking, this sets a very high benchmark very early in life for line of thought that one ''needs'' expensive material goods; and altho I have no empirical evidence, intuitively I would suggest this breeds or lends itself to a sense of entitlement later in life.

I''ll too play the deviil''s advocate, and beg the question: just because you can--should you?

cheers--Sharon

Wow, well said Sharon !!!! I think children are sort of self (maybe not the right word, but they have a hard time sharing at the age of 2 or 3) and learn so many lessons at such a young age. I remember wanting so many things as a child but my mother reminded me that it was important to be giving and things shouldn''t always be about me. I can''t imagine what happens to kids if they are showered with so many lavish goods

I actually had a baby ruby but I was told I need to be careful with it and it wasn''t everyday wear; it was so small. I think if it was small and didn''t matter if it was lost then that is no biggie but when other people are envying rocks on child, there is something wrong with that picture. Just my 2 cents.

 

[musey]

No. But I wouldn't even let them pierce their ears until they're over 12 (but that's another story). People don't need that stuff (strictly speaking), so why should we train them early to think that they do?

Re: designer jeans... the reason I wouldn't but a kid in THOSE is that they grow so freakin' fast! A friend's daughter got some super-cute little true religions for Hannukkah which she'd outgrown by February. I've had the same pair of TRs for over three years. I can justify paying $150-270 (kids' pairs of TRs run $106-12 on jeans for ME because I know I'll be wearing them until they wear OUT (3-4 years, since I rotate), where a kid can wear them for, what, 6 months max?

Date: 3/31/2008 10:26:46 AM
Author: Lorelei

There is the jealousy factor of other children, leading to envy fuelled bullying etc, the one with the diamonds possibly bragging, and maybe developing a misguided sense of entitlement. Also as Ellen says, what is left for them to dream about for the future? In my opinion, it is better to wait and save and look forward to luxury items as something you are either gifted with for special birthdays/ occasions once older, or that you work and save towards.

All very good points!! My parents did not indulge us in luxury items save for VERY special occasions (major birthdays, graduations, etc.). There was the expectation that if we wanted something like that that badly, we should earn the money for it and buy it ourselves. Luxury items were meant to be purchased with one's own earnings (something about appreciating it more).

 

[LitigatorChick]

Lots of interesting points! I think the lessons of gratitude and humility need to be taught, despite what they are "given". I know of kids who have mountains upon mountains of cheapo toys, and demand another one every time. That is very concerning as well.

I just think that diamonds are not age appropriate for toddlers. Nor is a LV handbag or credit cards!! Those are things that I believe a child is not old enough to appreciate and care for.

To me, that is where the designer jeans are different. They are made for toddlers! They are age appropriate (silly and excessive, yes, but he has worn them for 4 months now!)

 

[diamondfan]

Kids might not appreciate it and as a general rule they do not need to be covered. A special item for wear on special occasions or something very subtle to wear more often is fine, but just over doing it is not going to lead to any good. A kid will feel entitled and there is no point to that. I only have sons but I do have a niece, she is almost 19 though and I do spoil her a bit, but she is not 7.

 

[sumbride]

I just read a columnist yesterday that talked about the end of the "escalator era", as in no longer can children expect to do better than their parents... and covering basic expenses from an entry-level job is becoming more and more difficult... and on top of that, children that have grown up with everything have gotten into lots of credit card debt to maintain a lifestyle they can''t possibly afford.... I wonder how much worse it will be for children now that grow up thinking that LV bags and diamond earrings are "just part of life" and not "special and to be worked toward".

I got my first diamonds (studs) for my 21st birthday. By then I was ready to take care of them. Sure, I could have at 16 or 18, but 21 felt real, felt like I was really an adult. I didn''t get any more until my engagement ring, 8 years later. I don''t have kids, but no way, no how would I ever buy diamonds for anyone under 16. And I also don''t think ear piercing should happen until the child can take care of them herself, which would be at least 10.

 

[Ellen]

Date: 3/31/2008 11:11:33 AM
Author: AmberWaves
I definitely wouldn''t, partially because I''m afraid that any child I''d have would inherit my insane ability to lose any and everything on her person. Heck, I''m 28, and I have lost my own studs a couple of times and I never take them out! I agree with the previous posters regarding setting a precedent, as I''ve seen this first hand. I babysat my cousin a lot during my teens, and she was one of those kids who has everything she''s ever asked for, even the things she didn''t. At 8 she had her own credit card, at 12 she was allowed to buy anything she wanted. And now at 20, she''s completely ungrateful with a taste in material items that runs in the high thousands monthly. She still lives at home (not an issue, I did, too), but dropped out of college, doesn''t have a job, and yet was rewarded with a new Lexus. Girl is lazy and greedy. Sure, this may be one of those rare instances, but giving the kid credit and diamonds when she was 6/8 created a monster. All IMO, of course.

ETA: Perhaps I''d buy a little sparkle for her when she reached her teens, as I was given my grandma''s wedding band at that age, although I was terrified to actually wear it for fear of (as I said earlier) losing it.

That. Is. Insane.


Her parents need counceling, seriously.

 

[ephemery1]

I do think the toddler designer clothes issue is a bit different, because obviously a 2 year old could care less what brand of jeans he's wearing... so that's more for the parents' enjoyment than anything else. If the parents can afford it and it makes them happy to dress their child that way, then I don't think it's quite the same issue as a 5 year old demanding more "bling". But if my toddler eventually turned into a 1st grader refusing to wear anything but True Religion jeans, I'd probably reconsider the pros/cons of dressing my child that way and make some efforts to introduce some more reality into his life.

Granted, my kid won't be wearing designer clothes anyway, because it's definitely not within our budget.... but if I came across something fun on sale at my favorite discount store, I'd snatch it up!

I'm a big fan of baby clothes that don't actually look like baby clothes, so that would be fun for me, even though my child would obviously care less.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Okay, I admit I am spoiled. I had a bunch of expensive bags before I graduated from high school, but I was in high school! Short answer: heck no! Long answer: I wouldn't buy diamonds for them until maybe high school graduation, earliest 16th birthday. As for other high-end designer goods, at least high school age. Maybe they could have a Coach wristlet from the outlet or something, that's not crazy unreasonable, but no LV until HS.

ETA: I have to agree that she is creating a monster. Because I feel like rather monster-like when it comes to designer goods sometimes now. I am insatiable, so most of the time I just don't buy anymore. I am craving the Hermès Bolide bag.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I would like to give Tessa her first diamonds (maybe small studs or a thin band) for her 16th b-day. Before then CZ will do just fine. Besides I am not planning on piercing her ears until middle school.