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Would you give up privilege to promote equality for all?

Would you give up privilege to promote equality for all?

  • Yes

    Votes: 11 26.8%
  • No

    Votes: 23 56.1%
  • Not Sure

    Votes: 7 17.1%

  • Total voters
    41

MRBXXXFVVS1

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In conversations with some friends, privilege and wanting (to give kids) advantages is one of the biggest obstacles to equality. I'm guilty of wanting the best for my family and believe most do.

I think it's easy to give when there is excess. Would you give up your privilege (and voluntarily sacrifice your advantage or resources such that you and your family would be "worse off") to promote equality for all?
 

YadaYadaYada

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I'm a little lost on:

"Sacrifice your advantage or resources such that you and your family would be "worse off" to promote equality for all"

Maybe because we are not affluent, we are very much working class, as in supporting four people (plus pets) on one income (well under 100K) in one of the highest taxed and expensive states in the U.S. (Connecticut).

I would like to see equality for all but first and foremost is the well being of our children because if we aren't making them #1 then nobody else is. Would I sacrifice and make their life worse so someone else's could be better? No. Does that make me a terrible person? I don't think so, I think that makes a good parent.
 

voce

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I think equality is too big and vague a concept for me to stand behind without clarifications.

Equal...in what way?

Humans are not born as drones with the exact same genetics/hardware. There are some of us talented in some areas, some of us talented in others.

I am in favor of giving people equal voice in decisions that affect everyone, but if (as I suspect) the equality is referring to financial equality, I do not believe that I should give my hard-earned dollars to anybody who just happens to make less. There's a reason they make less.

I think when it comes to work and effort, people are very unequal in how much they choose to exert themselves. I'm hardworking by some standards, but lazy by Chinese standards.

I'm very much against the idea that anybody who just so happens to be human deserves to be paid/rewarded equally without regard to whether they work as hard, or do work that's as difficult as what others do. If it's that kind of system, I don't see how that's different from communism. I don't want to be promoting a system where there's no incentive for people to work harder, work smarter, work better than others. That's anti-progress. I want a system that fairly rewards people who work better.

If you earn more than others, you have excess that you can choose to share with others. Philanthropy is great. I just wouldn't want to buy into ideals that belong firmly in the realm of belief.

Edit: Of course, there's unjust systematic conditions that contribute to inequality, such as racism and sexism. That we should try to get rid of, but I would much rather solve those problems one at a time than try to promote the idea of equality. Humans beings are inherently unequal. I am very different from my brother. Even just helping out our parents our contributions in terms of time and effort are very unequal.
 
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MRBXXXFVVS1

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An example of this would be healthcare for all, but then it might be harder to get appointments and care for your family or from the top doctors. Or spreading school resources and good teachers, to help low performing and/or poorly resourced schools.

I agree that if you don't make your family a #1 priority, no one else will.
 

Asscherhalo_lover

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In some ways. I could afford to be in the best public school district in my area. I purposefully chose NOT to because I want my child to grow up in a diverse area. This area is NOT a top school district, I'm OK with that.
 

MRBXXXFVVS1

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In some ways. I could afford to be in the best public school district in my area. I purposefully chose NOT to because I want my child to grow up in a diverse area. This area is NOT a top school district, I'm OK with that.

Do you mind expanding on this? Slightly OT, but my DH and I have been debating this. A few houses we are considering are not zoned for great schools. There simply isn't inventory available with the best schools.
 

YadaYadaYada

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On the topic of healthcare, I consider that a basic human need, not a luxury so if it meant longer waiting times for example for everyone to have insurance then I would have no problem with that.

Schools are a whole other can of worms, I feel like there will never be equality for all under the current system. If we moved to a model where parents could choose a school regardless of neighborhood, then that would be a step in the right direction.
 

nala

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An example of this would be healthcare for all, but then it might be harder to get appointments and care for your family or from the top doctors. Or spreading school resources and good teachers, to help low performing and/or poorly resourced schools.

I agree that if you don't make your family a #1 priority, no one else will.

Don’t make the assumption that low performing schools are the result of the lack of good teachers. Do your research. Your comment is ignorant and offensive to hard working teachers who are talented and intelligent and creative and I’m going to stop typing before I write something just as offensive to you ....
 

MRBXXXFVVS1

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Don’t make the assumption that low performing schools are the result of the lack of good teachers. Do your research. Your comment is ignorant and offensive to hard working teachers who are talented and intelligent and creative and I’m going to stop typing before I write something just as offensive to you ....

I didn't mean this to be offensive at all! Definitely agree that low performing schools are due to many many factors, funding, leadership, students, parents, so many different variables. Sincerest apologies for my ignorance!
 

Elizabeth35

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Don’t make the assumption that low performing schools are the result of the lack of good teachers. Do your research. Your comment is ignorant and offensive to hard working teachers who are talented and intelligent and creative and I’m going to stop typing before I write something just as offensive to you ....

I think Nala is bringing up a good point. In the US public school system, those who can afford to live in good school districts are able to get "better" educations for their kids. This is not necessarily a function of teacher quality. It is a function of educated parents who can pay to live in good school districts.
My kids were educated in an 'excellent' public school district. Very highly rated and my kids did get a great education. Emphasis on reading, critical thinking and great writing skills.
But---one teacher made it clear to me. She explained that due to most students coming from college educated, 2 parent families who gave the kids lots of at home enrichment---the school system could not help but produce good students with stellar test results. The teachers were not dealing with kids coming to school hungry, lots of addicted parents, lots of poverty, gangs, etc.
 

Asscherhalo_lover

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Do you mind expanding on this? Slightly OT, but my DH and I have been debating this. A few houses we are considering are not zoned for great schools. There simply isn't inventory available with the best schools.

Most school rankings are based strictly on test scores. Soulless standardized test scores. I am a teacher, I know better. If you want to get a feel for an actual school system join local FB groups for the district or parents and get direct information. I also do not want my child growing up sheltered and surrounded by mostly white or wealthy people. I have shared before that I grew up in a predominantly black and brown community, schools included. When I went to to college it was the first time I was surrounded by people who were mostly white. It was shocking to me. When I was hunting for a teaching job I didn't hesitate to go straight to the city and get a job. Plenty of the sheltered kids I went to college with were "too scared". I've been teaching for nearly 12 years now, most of them never got a teaching job and are doing who knows what. Diversity is a beautiful thing that adds to a well rounded education IMO.
 

Elizabeth35

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I'm not sure I can answer the original question because I am not sure I am clear on it.
But----as someone in my 60's now, I would definitely have chosen to live in a more diverse area when my kids were younger. We lived in a very upper middle-class predominantly white suburb. My kids did have lots of Asian friends. But really no black or Hispanic people around us.

I now live in an unincorporated are near a predominantly black/Hispanic suburb. And I really like it. Although the school quality is not great as far as test scores, truancy, gangs.

It's tough choice. Ideally we will get to the point that choosing diversity does not mean choosing lesser schools.
 

mellowyellowgirl

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I somehow ended up on a Facebook parent group for the rich suburbs in Sydney even though I don't live there and the problems with bullying in the schools there are relentless. Lots of torment and mind games amongst very young kids. My friend who lives in that area had an issue with her child that took a year to resolve.

DS goes to school in a rougher area but the interactions are very different. He says the children will just punch each other if they get angry on any given day but there is no exclusion, snide comments etc. Just straight up punching and then they get over it and will play again until they have another fight.
 

bludiva

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In conversations with some friends, privilege and wanting (to give kids) advantages is one of the biggest obstacles to equality. I'm guilty of wanting the best for my family and believe most do.

I think it's easy to give when there is excess. Would you give up your privilege (and voluntarily sacrifice your advantage or resources such that you and your family would be "worse off") to promote equality for all?

i have had some debates with friends about this. i'd be willing to have less if we lived in a more equitable society but not sure where i would draw the line. one of my friends would not want to give up the technological progress (smartphones, etc.) i'd be ok with making slower progress. smaller home. fewer clothes, etc. i would resent it if it wasn't a collective effort, i.e. if it was voluntary and people who just don't care don't chip in.
 

GliderPoss

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This think the original question is tough to decide without being more specific about what "privilege" entails. I don't favour communism or socialism because I simply don't think it rewards personal effort, why should I work hard for my family if we only receive what everyone else does? :think: Humans need motivation and so far I'm not convinced "for the greater good" works... It's human nature to protect and reward your own family/offspring as priority. We should focus on finding better ways to lift others and overcome racial or socioeconomic discrimination without tearing everyone down.
 

kenny

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Great question.
IMO, one of the most profound and important questions human life itself.

As a group, liberals are less selfish than conservatives, so as a group we are more pro-equality than them.
Plenty of exceptions, but exceptions do not make generalization not generally true.

But even though this liberal has no kids I do care about my life.
I like my home, my income, my stuff.

Honestly, I'm torn.
My values say I should give it up for equality because it's not fair.
I know much of what I have is because I'm a white American male.
That's not fair.

Obviously, redistributing so all 7 billion of us have the same thing would never work.
Too many guns, and the very nature of DNA is to survive which means fvck competing DNA.
 
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dk168

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No, as I worked hard all my life to be where I am, to have my own roof over my head etc., etc., and am not prepared to sacrifice what I have so that someone who has never lifted his/her fingers to do an honest hour of work to have a better life.

Equality is never truly achievable, as some will always be better off than others in terms of health, education, wealth and authority.

I can help to provide the basic needs for those who are less fortunate, such as shelter, food, access to clean water and sanitation, education, medical needs, freedom, so that they do not have to live in fear etc., etc...

DK :))
 
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This is a bit of a loaded question, imo, very difficult to answer. On one hand, I take issue with a societal structure which “punishes” people for the circumstances in which they’ve grown up (lack of access to quality education, resources, healthcare, food, water, sanitation etc.) and makes it a cyclical problem, as I witnessed growing up. Generational poverty can cause situations like “I don’t have the money for preventative/early healthcare measures, so I am forced to ignore the problem until I end up in the ER and get saddled with a bill that my great grandchildren can’t pay off.” I have done a lot of social work and I assure you a lot of the people in those circumstances are a lot more determined and hardworking than I can ever claim to be. I personally believe it is a civic duty to give back as much as I’m able - I might work very hard for my money, but I’m privileged in that I was born to parents who could put a roof over my head and nutritious food on the table, I always had running water and electricity and access to libraries and technology, I was allowed to foster intellectual curiosity, and given all the resources I needed to succeed - I may have succeeded on my own merit but I would be lying if I said I could’ve achieved it without a robust support system.

So yes, I believe that providing everyone with an equal opportunity to succeed is a worthwhile goal, and that necessarily means solving issues of access on a societal level. That doesn’t mean blanket redistribution of resources because that might disincentivise effort, but that does mean making it so that everyone has access to good healthcare, education, community resources etc.

All of that being said, I’m not sure I’m willing to give up most of my own resources. Im honest enough to admit that I love luxury, and I love security. I’m young, but I do want children someday, and I want to give them the opportunity to succeed as well, the same opportunity I was given. My parents will most probably never need me to help them out in retirement, but it’s my duty to be capable of doing so if they ever perchance do.

The methodology that I’ve hit upon that makes me the most comfortable with balancing both my desire for security and to give back to society is to donate a good chunk of income and time to a myriad of causes. I also plan to move full time into doing charitable work (probably through opening my own charity) once I’m financially secure for the long haul. Yes, this means that I won’t be a billionaire and live a life of total excess, but that’s okay. As long as I have security and a reasonable amount of luxury, I’m happy.
 

missy

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Equality of opportunity or equality of outcome?

I support the former.
 

MMtwo

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In conversations with some friends, privilege and wanting (to give kids) advantages is one of the biggest obstacles to equality. I'm guilty of wanting the best for my family and believe most do.

I think it's easy to give when there is excess. Would you give up your privilege (and voluntarily sacrifice your advantage or resources such that you and your family would be "worse off") to promote equality for all?

All races want to give their child/children advantages when they can afford to do so. Would this mean that non-white folks would also give up a portion of their income (financial privilege) to assist the less fortunate? Is this a white person tax?

Who do we trust to "fix" poverty, including disadvantages felt by the non-white race? The government? They can't find their ass with both hands. When they do, they need a committee to describe it in legalese. They require constituents to vote on it. They hire a network of assistant butt finders that clog the arteries of progress. I do not trust government not to be an ugly bloated answer to anything - see USPS for illustration.

BLM is a political movement, not just a statement of obvious fact (which I support). The platform wants to "...disrupt the Western-prescribed nuclear family structure requirement by supporting each other as extended families and “villages” that collectively care for one another, especially our children, to the degree that mothers, parents, and children are comfortable." (from BLM website).

Umm, sorry, not on my dime. I don't think disrupting families is a great equalizer.

What do I do? Well, I published a study of homelessness and race for our region - I know that is very real. I know things need to be evaluated and made better. I think that people who are in poverty and have housing assistance have the decks stacked against them in a way that keeps them in poverty. We should be talking about that....ways out of poverty and breaking a cycle.

PS: I am a formerly homeless High School drop out that worked me and put myself (working full time and school at night) and kids through college on GED programs (before I met hubby). It is possible to pull yourself out of poverty. I am nothing if not tenacious. Baby girl is 26 and making 6 figures.

What do I do? I (one on one) support homeless people to get into housing and help pay their bills until they can get disability. I have done this for a white man and a black man. We know where our charity is going.
 

MMtwo

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oops - I had a crashy sentence there - I put myself through school and then helped kids access college with PELL grants. Daughter is a biochemist and works in a pharmaceutical plant.
 

yssie

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I have a very simple answer to this complicated question: No.

My parents put themselves through hell to give me a leg up.
I would never dishonour their sacrifices by throwing the legacy of their efforts away.
And I will never, ever not prioritize the health and welfare of my loved ones, by blood or otherwise, over everyone and everything else.

There are ways to change your culture for the better.
Some are much more effective than others.
Say you feel strongly about... Oh, let's just take factory farming as one example - something that isn't a hot button right this minute.
If you shop at Safeway grocery, you can choose to buy local/humanely-sourced milk and eggs. That's one way to enact change. It's a little more pricey. It's a drop in the ocean, and every drop always counts.
If you're an executive on Safeway grocery's board, you can choose to stock only local/humanely-sourced milk and eggs. It's a sizable cost. If you can justify the idea, if you can sell the idea, if you're in a position to make this decision and act on it, how many drops have you just contributed to this ocean?

People with expertise and authority are primed to enact change in the constituents over which they have jurisdiction and in which they have trust.
I was raised to become that person with the expertise, authority, and trust required to enact the change that I want to see.
 
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smitcompton

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Hi,

I did not read all the posts. One example of spreading equality around exists with low income housing. Trump has tried to put fear into suburbanites, saying dems will put low income housing into their neighborhoods. i support putting low income housing into all neighborhoods regardless of income. There are several things that might happen for the good of all of us. No more ghettos or large housing blocks where some crime has its roots. Smaller, more individualized housing allows children the advantage of good schools and to play and study with those children at the schools.

Another reason is its just plain fair to spread around the low income housing into all sections of our country. This is subsidized and comes with rules of behavior in order to stay in the housing. I think it is a way of equalizing people.

I once dated a fellow from Sweden. He was an international trade attorney. He made plenty of money. He lived in a block of houses where your income did not matter. He lived amongst those people who were poor, middle, and rich class. He was not bothered by it at all. I have always remembered that. Of course, his country is more homogeneous than the US. But, it seems fair to me.

Annette
 

voce

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@smitcompton the Swedes are the ones who came up with the concept of Jantelagen. I very much admire that principle.

 

SandyinAnaheim

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PS: I am a formerly homeless High School drop out that worked me and put myself (working full time and school at night) and kids through college on GED programs (before I met hubby). It is possible to pull yourself out of poverty. I am nothing if not tenacious....
This sounds strikingly like my story. Like you, pulled myself out of poverty and worked my butt off to put a roof over my head and educate myself.

I admire those of you who possess the altruistic intent to help others and am certain that society has always had lots of people with those good intents. But I have to say that when I needed it the most, as a homeless 15yo Catholic schoolgirl with a 9th grade education living in a parked car with only the clothing on her back, I never met a one. I went to the local Goodwill to try and obtain clothing for job interviews and was told I would have to pay for it. I went to MY church, which is tied to to the school I'd attended for 3 years, to ask for assistance and was told there was nothing they could do for me. I tried to get food stamps and wasn't old enough to get them without an adult, but I was old enough to starve to death. Not even my own family helped me. Due to those circumstances, and many hundreds of others over the ensuing years, any such feelings of altruism I may have had are long since dead. I fought tooth and nail for what I have and it would be nigh on impossible for me to gift the hard-won fruits of my labor and perseverance to someone else, regardless of their position in life. So I am with @moneymeister and @yssie on this one.

However, I've been thinking a lot about the subject of privilege since it came up in some heated threads last month and earlier this month. I know the definition of the word, but am having difficulty understanding who it applies to, outside of the obvious. Some posters have bandied the word about, aiming it like an insult at others (on the Karen thread and others). But I'm confused as to who has it, how do you know they have it, and are there things that mitigate it? All of my life, I thought some others had it, but I didn't think I did. Do we assume that all white people have it? Do no black people have it? Is it always bad to have it? Does anyone deserve to have it? Can you have it and be unaware that you have it? If you have it, can you lose it? If you weren't born with it, can you achieve it? I realize these are simplistic questions, but without knowing the particulars of a person's life, how they were raised, or what they've been through, how can we judge who should or shouldn't have it? Or am I missing some other element entirely?
 

Musia

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I came from a socialist country where people had mostly "equal outcome". There were many families that did much better than others if they were hard working, had better education, were saving, spending wisely, didn't have alcoholics in them, and were generally healthy. But 98% of the population were shopping at the same places, were buying the same things and were dreaming of going abroad for a trip most likely work related so they may be able to buy better, prestigious things. Toilet paper??? There were miles long lines formed by those who wanted to get several rolls of it. My family never had it, and my mother never wanted to spend money on such a luxurious product because using other sorts of paper like old school notebooks worked perfectly. We come to the US with zero money and both my husband and I inherited zero things/money, our late parents left everything to our siblings (he has a sister and I have a brother in Ukraine). Everything we have now is because he worked hard and kept my spending under control. We are saving for our first house so have nothing to share with the less fortunate. How do I see I can help those who live in ghettos? I am constantly donating to black/Latino young persons who are running for Congress. I think they may do many great things for their communities. I hope if we bring jobs back from China there will be more opportunities for people of color to get a decent job. I hope we can stop illegal immigrants from entering the country so communities could concentrate on their current problems.

But my #1 priority is my family so I am thinking of giving a great education to my grandchildren. I don't want them to be among wealthy and spoiled kids, I want them to be among hard working and bright ones that in our area are mostly Asian and Indian youngsters. I have an idea of working with groups of black/poor children, teaching them math, cooking, gardening. I am thinking of fostering black children later. Maybe one-two of them may be adopted by one or both of my children? I definitely need good health to do so.

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doberman

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@Elizabeth

This! Equality is much more than sharing resources. It's about your circumstances and how you grow up. How can you share a resource like good parents? No illness? No alcoholism? You can't of course.

I'm not going to give things up so *everybody* is equal. Some people work harder and are more deserving of help. But this is why I donate to worthy causes -- that I pick, not ones that are picked for me.
 
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voce

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However, I've been thinking a lot about the subject of privilege since it came up in some heated threads last month and earlier this month. I know the definition of the word, but am having difficulty understanding who it applies to, outside of the obvious. Some posters have bandied the word about, aiming it like an insult at others (on the Karen thread and others). But I'm confused as to who has it, how do you know they have it, and are there things that mitigate it? All of my life, I thought some others had it, but I didn't think I did. Do we assume that all white people have it? Do no black people have it? Is it always bad to have it? Does anyone deserve to have it? Can you have it and be unaware that you have it? If you have it, can you lose it? If you weren't born with it, can you achieve it? I realize these are simplistic questions, but without knowing the particulars of a person's life, how they were raised, or what they've been through, how can we judge who should or shouldn't have it? Or am I missing some other element entirely?

Those are some great questions. I'm not sure I understand the concept as other people understand it. Maybe everyone has their own parameters of when they see and when they don't see privilege.

Privilege to me means a very sheltered upbringing, or being in a situation where you reliably expect to get away with stuff that other people wouldn't get away with. By this definition, very few black Americans have it. Their parents don't give them a sheltered upbringing because they're not wealthy enough to do so, or their parents are super aware of racism and don't want their child to grow up naive and hurt.

When I think of privilege, I immediately think of Prince Andrew and how, however disgraced, he has been shielded by his family from even having to testify before the FBI about what he knew about Jeffrey Epstein. I think of the white police officers who invaded Breonna Taylor's home, shot her, failed to get her medical attention, and marked "unforced entry" and "injury: none" on what was a pretty much blank report they filed.
 

Matata

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I grew up in crushing poverty and endured emotional and sexual abuse from male family members. I watched my mother and father, neither of whom made it through grade school, struggle to make a living. My father was an alcoholic. The only people who helped us were family members. I watched all of them struggle to live and at the age of 5, which was the first time I saw my father punch my mother, I decided that would not be my life. I remember that moment with crystal clarity. Through sheer grit and malicious stubbornness, I made a decent life for myself and it was a struggle every day and all the way.

I navigated through the loneliness, soul shattering fear, feeling of helplessness, betrayal, and abandonment mostly on my own and I would not wish that on anyone. Due to my socio-economic status, teachers didn't expect much of me or for me. I was repeatedly told by a high school counselor to strive to become a secretary because that was as far as I could go. I sucked at math and as a consequence, was relegated to "not college material" status. No one helped people like me when I was in high school. I was left to figure it out on my own or fail.

Because on my personal experience, I believe everyone should have equality of opportunity for education and social services. And I believe those who need a helping hand should be mentored on how to achieve self-sufficiency because that doesn't come naturally or easily to everyone.
 

bludiva

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This sounds strikingly like my story. Like you, pulled myself out of poverty and worked my butt off to put a roof over my head and educate myself.

I admire those of you who possess the altruistic intent to help others and am certain that society has always had lots of people with those good intents. But I have to say that when I needed it the most, as a homeless 15yo Catholic schoolgirl with a 9th grade education living in a parked car with only the clothing on her back, I never met a one. I went to the local Goodwill to try and obtain clothing for job interviews and was told I would have to pay for it. I went to MY church, which is tied to to the school I'd attended for 3 years, to ask for assistance and was told there was nothing they could do for me. I tried to get food stamps and wasn't old enough to get them without an adult, but I was old enough to starve to death. Not even my own family helped me. Due to those circumstances, and many hundreds of others over the ensuing years, any such feelings of altruism I may have had are long since dead. I fought tooth and nail for what I have and it would be nigh on impossible for me to gift the hard-won fruits of my labor and perseverance to someone else, regardless of their position in life. So I am with @moneymeister and @yssie on this one.

However, I've been thinking a lot about the subject of privilege since it came up in some heated threads last month and earlier this month. I know the definition of the word, but am having difficulty understanding who it applies to, outside of the obvious. Some posters have bandied the word about, aiming it like an insult at others (on the Karen thread and others). But I'm confused as to who has it, how do you know they have it, and are there things that mitigate it? All of my life, I thought some others had it, but I didn't think I did. Do we assume that all white people have it? Do no black people have it? Is it always bad to have it? Does anyone deserve to have it? Can you have it and be unaware that you have it? If you have it, can you lose it? If you weren't born with it, can you achieve it? I realize these are simplistic questions, but without knowing the particulars of a person's life, how they were raised, or what they've been through, how can we judge who should or shouldn't have it? Or am I missing some other element entirely?

this is what bothers me about charity/noblesse oblige/rich people who think they should pay less in taxes and direct their money where they want because they know better than the government

that makes everyone else dependent on their human foibles - whether they are aware someone needs help, whether they deem that person worthy, whether that person is willing to comply with any strings attached, and on and on and on. it's not a good system.
 
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