Find your diamond
Find your jewelry
shape
carat
color
clarity

Would you be ok with having guests carve the meat?!

JuneRose

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 16, 2011
Messages
724
Hello!

This is my first post in the Bride & Groom section of PS... I've been engaged for over a month but just got my engagement ring ([URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/my-3-stone-trellis-in-rose-gold.163682/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/my-3-stone-trellis-in-rose-gold.163682/[/URL]) so now I feel more "properly" engaged!

I've been trying to find a caterer for my wedding next May and I just came across one which offers "Family Style" catering. Basically each table designates someone who is given a chef's hat and an apron and gets to carve the meat for the main meal at the table and them dish out the desert (which arrives at the table in one serving bowl). It's not at all what I thought I would like for my wedding but I actually quite like the idea -it would definitely be memorable and quite funny!

I'm just wondering what people's ideas are on this from the perspective of a guest... would you find it as funny? Or would you just be hungry and want to eat food that has already been carved and plated by a real chef?

We are offering canapes when they arrive and there will also be a starter (which will not need to be prepared/served by anyone at the table).

What are people's opinions?
 

sillyberry

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Messages
1,792
Welcome to BWW! Beautiful ring, by the way!

Now, to your question. Honestly, I probably wouldn't be a big fan of guests carving at the table. The idea of being dressed up for a wedding and asked to carve meat just strikes me as really odd. Adding the possibility of no one knowing what they're doing (I have flashbacks to Thanksgiving where no one knows how to carve a turkey...) and I can see it being awkward.

As to general family style meals at weddings, some people love it, some people don't. If you do family style, there was a PS thread with a lot of good suggestions about making it work!

Family Style Dining
 

rubyprincess

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 11, 2010
Messages
174
Congrats! The ring is beautiful - saw it in your other thread.

Okay, my opinion (and it's just mine) is that I don't care for the idea. I feel as though the guests are my guests and I like the idea of providing them with restaurant level service on my wedding day. Although, I suppose if you were to have a buffet reception people serve themselves. However,the idea of strapping one person (in their formal clothes) with carving for potentially 8 or 10 other people is something I just wouldn't expect of my guests. But again, that's just me.

ETA: As a guest, it would annoy me a bit probably because rather than waiting a moment or two for ten entrees to be placed on the table by a server to begin eating, guests would have to wait until eight or ten people had been provided hand carved servings of meat cut by a novice likely rendering the entrees cold.
 

blacksand

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 31, 2010
Messages
889
I have to agree, I wouldn't be too keen on being asked to carve meat at a wedding. I don't have any problem with buffet-style weddings (in fact I rather enjoy choosing my own food from an array of options) and I've been to low budget weddings where we ate hamburgers, too. I'm fine with pretty much any food options out there, but asking guests to carve meat seems like a little too much for me. I guess I draw the line between asking guests to simply choose and plate their own food at a buffet and asking guests to actually do work to prepare the food for themselves and others. I'm sure some people would get into it, but it's not something I would enjoy, as a guest.
 

OUpearlgirl

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 26, 2007
Messages
3,081
Sorry, I'm not a huge fan either. It could be awkward, and I think you could easily offend some people. It may also come across as cheap, not as a novelty. "They couldn't afford to have it catered, so instead WE had to do the work!" If budget is an issue, there are nicer ways to save on $$.

Then, I think of all of the germs-- I wouldn't feel sure that the person serving at my table had washed their hands.

Finally, liability. If someone got injured, would you be liable for their medical bills, etc?
 

TooPatient

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Sep 1, 2009
Messages
9,294
I'm mixed but leaning towards not liking the idea.

One potential benefit would be that the larger pieces of meat would remain hot/moist while waiting to be carved. IF the person carving knew what they were doing, it could be a sort of fun way to have fresher/hotter food.

The downsides:

~Who carves? -- Is someone designated whether they like it or not? If it is volunteer, what if several people volunteer?

~Many (most?) people don't really know how to carve properly so the quality of the serving would be questionable. (improperly cut meats can be tough) Since most of us aren't practiced at doing catering sized servings, you would either have to get extra food to compensate for larger servings or risk an ackward moment when some people don't get any because it has run out.

~Potential for injury -- even the most practiced have accidents and cut themselves.

~Potential for meat hitting the floor -- Who hasn't been carving a large piece of meat and had it slide? Could wind up on the table or could be "caught" by the carver as they block it with their body.

~Potential for ruined clothing -- see above body block concern

~Cleanliness -- Even if they don't block it with their body... When & where did they last wash their hands? What have they been handling since then? Are they practiced enough at carving to avoid using their hands to assist in serving? What about the hands of the other guests at the table as they pass plates around?
 

mrscushion

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 15, 2008
Messages
3,309
Honestly, I would not be a fan, for all of the reasons mentioned above.
 

Gypsy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 8, 2005
Messages
40,198
I would think it was fun-- but my husband is an experienced carver. My mother, etc. would be appalled. I think Too Patient has a spot on post.
 

junebug17

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 17, 2009
Messages
12,512
Sorry, I don't really like the idea for all of the reasons given in previous posts.
 

4ever

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 9, 2008
Messages
2,260
I agree with what has been said above, too much could go wrong. If it's a freshness issue you can usually hire one of the catering staff to come to each table and carve the meat in front of your guests and serve each of them.

Also, (as an unhelpful side note) I have an irrational fear of the noise the carving knife makes if it accidentally rubs against the stabby fork when carving. This is why I always carve, so I can be very careful they don't touch each other. So, the idea of a guest who doesn't know what they're doing carving meat at a wedding table completely freaks me the F*^% out. That's just me, but imagining this situation makes me feel repulsed.
 

swingirl

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 6, 2006
Messages
5,660
I always wear something nice and new to weddings. The last thing I'd want is it get meat juice on myself. I also notice many people do not wash their hands before coming to a dinner table. Some people lick their fingers while handling food. This seems like more of a chore for the table's carver and could be rather unappetizing for some of the guests. I don't give the idea my thumbs up. Sorry.

I also have to add anything "family style" is a turn off. It's very informal and by the time everyone passes around all the dishes the food is cold. People are so slow when it comes to serving and passing.
 

AmeliaG

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 8, 2011
Messages
880
Ah no. It may be fun for people who know how to carve but most people don't. The designated carver could end up getting embarassed, messed up clothes, etc. and I hate to do that to guests. If a fully served meal is too expensive, I'd go the buffet route.
 

Autumnovember

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 28, 2010
Messages
4,384
Totally honest opinion--I would not be interested and I definitely wouldn't think that its 'funny' :blackeye:

I would think that its rather....strange and I'm not sure that I would understand the point in doing something like that.

It wouldn't stand out as a positive to me...
 

iheartscience

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 1, 2007
Messages
12,111
Yeah, a big NO to that idea for all of the reasons mentioned above. I would be very annoyed if I were a guest and was expected to wear a chef's hat and apron and cut meat for everyone, as well as pass out desserts. They're guests, not employees.

Why can't the servers go to each table and carve the meat for the guests? I have no idea why this is even an option offered by the caterer. Have people really done this at their weddings before? It makes no sense.
 

JulieN

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 25, 2005
Messages
13,329
Chef's hat and apron? Ridiculous.

In Asian weddings, family-style receptions are the norm. Whole fish, giant platter of cut up lobster, etc. So usually there is some work to be done to get at your food. I think it's ok to have a carver if the piece is boneless. A boneless rib roast, tenderloin, maybe turkey breast. Leg of lamb, whole chicken, probably not.
 

monarch64

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 12, 2005
Messages
17,916
Hi. Um...I guess you won't be inviting any vegetarians? :cheeky:

I'm not in favor of guests carving the meat. If this event were a family reunion, even a business function or something, I think it's a fun idea, but NOT for a wedding. It's a lot to expect from your guests, and they will have gone out of their way to join in the celebration of your marriage i.e. traveling, giving you a gift, dressing in formal attire, etc. At least let them relax and enjoy their meal!
 

Amys Bling

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 25, 2010
Messages
11,025
negative.

first of all, I have heard of "family" style weddings and inevitably- unless the food is endless and refills are provided, the last people taking food end up with less than everyone. You never want guests to feel like they were shorted on food.

Also- having guests carve meat and pass out dessert- it might come across to your guests as trying to save money on the service by putting them to work at your wedding.

Sorry, but I think it might sounds "fun" but wont really be that fun for your guests.
 

FrekeChild

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 14, 2007
Messages
19,456
No.

And that's the least rude way I can put it.

This is coming from an ex-pastry chef.
 

JuneRose

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 16, 2011
Messages
724
Haha wow ok I think that's a big fat "No" then!!

Thank you so so much for taking the time to post all these responses. I completely agree with all your points. To be honest it's not something I ever thought I would do I'm just searching for something that would make the wedding memorable and different but this clearly isn't it! When I asked my bridesmaids what they thought, most of them thought it would be great but I had my doubts so I thought I would post here, I'm so happy I did! Funnily enough, this isn't even a cheaper option than a 3 course waiter-served meal...
 

vc10um

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 22, 2009
Messages
6,006
JuneRose, glad to hear you agree with the posters in the thread! I didn't jump in because I didn't have anything to add, the other posters had said it all. But if you're looking for something to make your wedding "different" or "memorable"...why don't you try jumping in to the "getting lost in stupid stuff" thread? Although a lot of brides have "graduated" out of that thread, including myself, we are all very detail-oriented and volley a lot of ideas back and forth about color/theme/style and all the little details that can make your wedding different and memorable. And there's a whole new crop of brides rolling in!
 

zoebartlett

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 29, 2006
Messages
12,450
I'm not crazy about the idea. I wouldn't want to make my guests have to work at a party I'm hosting, ya know?

ETA: oops, I just saw your reply to everyone's answer. I'm glad you've decided against it.
 

AmeliaG

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 8, 2011
Messages
880
JuneRose|1311932436|2979632 said:
When I asked my bridesmaids what they thought, most of them thought it would be great but I had my doubts so I thought I would post here.
That's really amazing. I wonder what they were thinking???
 

jstarfireb

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 24, 2007
Messages
6,232
While I do like buffet-style and family-style wedding meals as opposed to a served meal, I have to agree with the crowd on this one. I don't think guests would appreciate having to do that much work at a wedding! I do think the chef hat and apron thing is kind of cute for another type of gathering, maybe a family reunion or something, just not a wedding.
 

Clairitek

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 21, 2008
Messages
4,881
To find inspiration join Pinterest! I really wish that had been around when I was planning my wedding! Don't stress yourself out figuring out how to make your wedding memorable, it WILL happen! Ways to make it personal to you and your FI, which will be memorable to your guests, will make their way into your psyche eventually, promise!
 

centralsquare

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 18, 2009
Messages
2,201
If you recruited your relatives or bridal party, I think it'd be ok. But I don't think the typical guest would be interested and there are many concerns (noted above)
 
Be a part of the community It's free, join today!
    5.5 Carat Diamond Upgrade
    5.5 Carat Diamond Upgrade
    Style File: Julia Roberts
    Style File: Julia Roberts
    Top 5 Honeymoon Destinations
    Top 5 Honeymoon Destinations

Need Something Special?

Get a quote from multiple trusted and vetted jewelers.

Holloway Cut Advisor



Diamond Eye Candy

Click to view full-size image.
Top