Family style meals

[LtlFirecracker]

Anyone ever been to a wedding (or hosted a wedding) where dinner was served family style? From what I understand this is where each course is brought out on a tray for a table and guests serve themselves. I was looking at the price list of one catering menu and it looks like it would save me about $10 a head vs a plated dinner. I think it is a nicer alternative to a buffet where people have to stand in line as well.

If you have had experience with these, did you like it? Were there issues? Thanks in advance.

 

[neatfreak]

I liked it and there were no issues at my table. At one other table near us they didn''t have enough of something to pass because a few people REALLY overindulged themselves when serving. And the caterers did not seem prepared for the possiblity.

But if the caterers are prepared for that with extra food I think it''s a nice homey idea. Not something I would do if it''s a formal affair though.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

Date: 1/5/2010 12:18:59 AM
Author: neatfreak
I liked it and there were no issues at my table. At one other table near us they didn''t have enough of something to pass because a few people REALLY overindulged themselves when serving. And the caterers did not seem prepared for the possiblity.


But if the caterers are prepared for that with extra food I think it''s a nice homey idea. Not something I would do if it''s a formal affair though.

Thanks, I will keep portions issues in mind. Our event is kind of formal..darn

 

[sillyberry]

I went to one wedding that was family style, and the biggest issue is that there was nowhere on the table to actually put the serving dishes. It was extremely awkward.

If you go that route, make sure to account for the dishes!

 

[sonnyjane]

Date: 1/5/2010 12:22:08 AM
Author: LtlFirecracker

Date: 1/5/2010 12:18:59 AM

Author: neatfreak

I liked it and there were no issues at my table. At one other table near us they didn''t have enough of something to pass because a few people REALLY overindulged themselves when serving. And the caterers did not seem prepared for the possiblity.



But if the caterers are prepared for that with extra food I think it''s a nice homey idea. Not something I would do if it''s a formal affair though.

Thanks, I will keep portions issues in mind. Our event is kind of formal..darn

Yeah, I agree with neatfreak - for an informal wedding, I can see it being great, but if you want your event to be formal, I''d do the plated meals.

 

[Gypsy]

I like it and think it's a great solution especially as your wedding is a good size for that, but have seen the same thing as neatfreak has, and I know that my caterers would NOT have been prepared for that eventuality. So if you do that, as them if they prepare enough for poeple to have seconds.

As for the formal/informal thing. My wedding was on the formal side, but due to several budgetary issues compromises were made. One was that the wedding was an early evening wedding on a Sunday (not a formal time) and there was no band (DJ) ... etc.

Point is, these days you can treat formality as a sliding scale, IMO. I didn't want to do assigned seating, just assigned tables. I didn't want to do menu cards, so I didn't. You get the picture. 10 bucks a head is a good savings, and while it may be less formal than plated individual meals, I wouldn't let that stop you. Unless you are stickler and it would be a mind clean issue for you.

 

[megumic]

We''re doing family style next fall for our 10.10.10 wedding. For us, it was about the wedding reflecting who we are and how we operate in our daily life. When we go out for a meal, we order together and share everything on the table, as opposed to each of us eating our own entree. I''d much prefer a small bite of each thing on the menu than one slab of meat with some veggies and potatoes so family style is the perfect fit for our meal.

Funny thing is, my caterer has indicated it is MORE expensive b/c of the costs of renting platters ($5 each!). But we are having our reception in a barn, so every element must be rented. Also, the barn lends itself to a family style meal. If it''s between family style and buffet, family style trumps buffet any day, but that''s just me. Good luck deciding!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I went to a wedding where this was done. Personally I didn''t care for it, but it could have just been the venue. The food wasn''t that good (pasta came to the table overcooked and everything was cold).

 

[CurlySue]

I have not been to a wedding where food was served family-style, but I love the idea. Like megumic, I think it reflects our relationship and also can help to create a cozy, intimate feeling among guests. FI and I were strongly considering it for our reception, but the venue we love doesn''t offer it as an option, so we are most likely going to do family style for our rehearsal dinner instead.

 

[LilyKat]

The only issue I had at a wedding reception like this was that I had to spend the WHOLE time passing things from person to person. Literally, having to stop eating about 15 times during each course because someone at the other end decided they wanted a few more potatoes, or some thoughtful person decided to pass a tray around for the umpteenth time. And there was nowhere to set things down, so I had to spend a few minutes each time scrabbling for a bit of space, trying not to knock over wine glasses. (There were a lot of spillages at the other tables!)

However, I think this was an issue with the venue, which was very disorganised. If done well, leaving plenty of free space on the table, more than one dish of each item (so people aren't constantly having to pass things over), and plenty of attentive staff to refill empty bowls, it could be fine.

How many guests are you having? If the extra $10/head won't break the bank, and it's a formal event, I'd probably just pay for it.

 

[Bleed Burnt Orange]

The idea seems really nice and intimate. More of a personal celebration touch.

 

[elrohwen]

We did my rehearsal dinner this way at a great Italian restaurant, but I don''t really have experience with it at a wedding. I think I would like it better than a buffet, absolutely. I don''t like how I have to keep getting up from my seat at buffets - family style lets you stay in your seat chatting with people while the food comes out.

 

[vc10um]

I went to a wedding for a Chinese-American couple who did this. The reception was at a restaurant, and in the center of every table was a lazy susan. So when each course arrived, it was set on the lazy susan, which was then spun around to everyone. Anyone who wanted seconds simply had to spin the turntable in order to get the dish, so that cut down on the passing, etc. I really enjoyed it, especially since that's how my family always ate Chinese food!

(edited for spelling.)

 

[jjc]

I recently went to a wedding with a family style dinner and I loved it. It helps break the ice and gets everyone more comfy with each other. I''m planning on having family style at my wedding also.

 

[cushionladyESQ]

Date: 1/5/2010 2:39:13 PM
Author: vc10um
I went to a wedding for a Chinese-American couple who did this. The reception was at a restaurant, and in the center of every table was a lazy susan. So when each course arrived, it was set on the lazy susan, which was then spun around to everyone. Anyone who wanted seconds simply had to spin the turntable in order to get the dish, so that cut down on the passing, etc. I really enjoyed it, especially since that''s how my family always ate Chinese food!

(edited for spelling.)

I''ve been to a nearly similar experience. My fiance''s family is Chinese-American as well, and when his cousin got married, it was at a restaurant and was done family style. This is how his family always eat, including their weekly family dinners, so I think it was expected. I didn''t mind the experience. The lazy susan probably helps with a lot of the space issues.

If it goes in line with the feel of the wedding and you think your family and friends will be into it, I don''t think it should be an issue.

 

[nkarma]

I go to a lot of Russian weddings and that is how food is served. There is an appetizer course and then lots of drinking and dancing and then an hour later a meat course and then drinking and dancing and then an hour later more meat and by that time I can't remember if there is dessert. All the food is served on platters and there is about 3-4 times as much as people ever eat.

These weddings are pretty formal.

 

[parrot tulips]

We did family style for our wedding and couldn''t have been happier, but there may have been several reasons it worked for us. Mostly, our caterer (who had the most amazing food I''ve ever tasted) and her staff were very well prepared. It probably helped that she was the exclusive caterer for the venue, and family style seems really popular there. Every time a table seemed to be getting low on a particular item, a server magically appeared with a new platter without being asked, yet you never noticed them hovering. Additionally, our wedding was both casual, and on the smaller side, so there were no formality or crowding issues. We also considered our table size and centerpieces and intentionally went smaller, so they wouldn''t take up too much table space. All in all, we got really great feedback from our guests.

 

[Clairitek]

I agree with Gypsy that formality can be treated on a sliding scale. If I were invited to a more "formal" wedding and then were treated to a family style meal I don''t think I''d have a second thought about it. Actually, I think that the family style meal would be more formal than a buffet. I also agree with those who said that they think it would be intimate and would help break the ice at the table. I say go for it!

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

I''ve experienced it. Loved it. No complaints... I think it''s a perfect combo of buffet options with sit-down ease. If it had been an option at my own venue, I probably would have chosen to do this!

 

[LtlFirecracker]

Thanks or all the opinions guys. I get to choose for a list of caters, which is nice because I do get a little competition in the pricing. I won''t talk to my top choice caterer until next week, but when I do, I will bring up all the concerns you guys mentioned (room on the table, what happens if someone takes to much...) and see how they respond.

I am glad to see so many varied opinions on the issues. I really couldn''t find much about it on the wedding websites except that it was a cost cutter. The pros and cons are really helpful. I want to cut costs, but I am not willing to do that if it causes a major headache.

 

[Gypsy]

LT, don''t know if you saw this on CS, but when you said Becky was booked I mentioned that Gene Higa was hands down my second choice. His photography leaves me speechless. It''s just amazing.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

Date: 1/6/2010 2:14:02 AM
Author: Gypsy
LT, don't know if you saw this on CS, but when you said Becky was booked I mentioned that Gene Higa was hands down my second choice. His photography leaves me speechless. It's just amazing.

Thanks. I hadn't been able to make my way back to that thread. I will look him up. Becky also gave me a name of someone who's work is just beautiful. I have contacted her and she is available on my date. But the more options the better .

ETA: Looking at the website, amazing photos. Thanks for giving me the name.

 

[DearBuddha]

I was just in a wedding, and the dinner was served family style. I agree that people sort of lose it and overserve themselves without regard to their table mates, but there was just enough food that it wasn''t too bad. DH and I were at a table with two other bridesmaids, their dates, and two other couples, so 10 people altogether, and we were all satisfied by the end of the meal.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 1/6/2010 5:47:45 AM
Author: LtlFirecracker

Date: 1/6/2010 2:14:02 AM
Author: Gypsy
LT, don't know if you saw this on CS, but when you said Becky was booked I mentioned that Gene Higa was hands down my second choice. His photography leaves me speechless. It's just amazing.

Thanks. I hadn't been able to make my way back to that thread. I will look him up. Becky also gave me a name of someone who's work is just beautiful. I have contacted her and she is available on my date. But the more options the better .

ETA: Looking at the website, amazing photos. Thanks for giving me the name.

Anytime LT. I'd give Becky's recommendations a lot of weight, personally. Everything she suggested for me was on the money. She helped me pick a lipstick color when my first makeup artist (who I cancelled) couldn't. And she did it via email! And gave me the nudge to book Maria Chang of Professional Makeup Artistry-- who was my best Day Of investment (Becky was my best long term investment, of course, cause the pics are what lasts).

HIGHLY HIGHLY HIGHLY suggest that if you can fit it in your budget AND if she is available you book Maria Chang for hair and makeup. She books far out in advance, but she just ROCKS.

 

[Mrs Mitchell]

My best friend had her wedding dinner served this way and it was fantastic. To be honest, I didn''t notice until the next day, when I was thinking back. I knew something was different, but wasn''t sure what it was lol.

I much, much prefer it to a buffet. DH''s nephew had a buffet, only time I''ve ever seen that at a wedding. I didn''t like having to queue up for food. I was nearly 9 months pregnant at the time, but so were at least four other guests, so that might be something to think about.

Whatever the style, most guests (when they aren''t hugely pregnant and swimming in hormones) are just really happy to be there and share a meal / cocktails / canapes/ anything at all with the couple, so go with what appeals to you and fits with your budget. It will be amazing!

 

[LtlFirecracker]

Date: 1/6/2010 12:52:53 PM
Author: Gypsy

Date: 1/6/2010 5:47:45 AM

Author: LtlFirecracker

Date: 1/6/2010 2:14:02 AM

Author: Gypsy

LT, don''t know if you saw this on CS, but when you said Becky was booked I mentioned that Gene Higa was hands down my second choice. His photography leaves me speechless. It''s just amazing.

Thanks. I hadn''t been able to make my way back to that thread. I will look him up. Becky also gave me a name of someone who''s work is just beautiful. I have contacted her and she is available on my date. But the more options the better .


ETA: Looking at the website, amazing photos. Thanks for giving me the name.

Anytime LT. I''d give Becky''s recommendations a lot of weight, personally. Everything she suggested for me was on the money. She helped me pick a lipstick color when my first makeup artist (who I cancelled) couldn''t. And she did it via email! And gave me the nudge to book Maria Chang of Professional Makeup Artistry-- who was my best Day Of investment (Becky was my best long term investment, of course, cause the pics are what lasts).


HIGHLY HIGHLY HIGHLY suggest that if you can fit it in your budget AND if she is available you book Maria Chang for hair and makeup. She books far out in advance, but she just ROCKS.

So just to let you know, I am going to go with one of the photographers that Becky recommended

. I will look into Maria Chang tomorrow.

Made my first big wedding oops. Just found out I booked the venue on a Jewish holiday. It is only going to potentially affect one person, but it is someone my FI was hoping would be in the wedding party. FI is not too upset, he said he didn''t think of it either.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

Date: 1/6/2010 4:22:03 PM
Author: Mrs Mitchell
My best friend had her wedding dinner served this way and it was fantastic. To be honest, I didn''t notice until the next day, when I was thinking back. I knew something was different, but wasn''t sure what it was lol.


I much, much prefer it to a buffet. DH''s nephew had a buffet, only time I''ve ever seen that at a wedding. I didn''t like having to queue up for food. I was nearly 9 months pregnant at the time, but so were at least four other guests, so that might be something to think about.


Whatever the style, most guests (when they aren''t hugely pregnant and swimming in hormones) are just really happy to be there and share a meal / cocktails / canapes/ anything at all with the couple, so go with what appeals to you and fits with your budget. It will be amazing!

Thanks for your sharing your experiences, I have no intention of doing a buffet, I am not a fan of them myself. It is either going to be plated dinner or family style. I can''t price it out till next week, so still have no idea what I am going to do.

 

[Haven]

I like family style service, and if it costs less then that''s a plus.

Buffet costs much more with most caterers, at least the ones here in Chicago charge more for buffet. They have to prepare more food for a buffet service than they do for plated, and if it''s the type of food that needs to be served to guests, then you use the same amount or only a few less servers, too. I think family style sounds like a great option for your wedding, I''d go for it.

 

[jstarfireb]

I don't mind it personally, though I prefer buffet, because I know there will be enough food to go around, and it eliminates the "pass the potatoes" issue. I agree that it's less formal than a plated meal, but I don't think it's any less formal than a buffet. It's up to you to decide whether that's a good or bad thing given your vision of your wedding. I can say I've never been to a "normal" wedding with a family-style meal (I've only seen plated and buffet)...the only wedding with family-style service that I went to was a traditional Chinese wedding in Chinatown NYC. FWIW, that type of wedding is always family-style, but it's informal in that the guests don't really have a dress code (some come in jeans or khakis, some in more formal attire), and there's no dancing among the guests.

 

[wyndham]

Hi Ltlfirecracker,

I think family-style sounds like a great option! I don't think that family-style is necessarily any less 'formal' than a seated dinner...it's all in how you present it. Personally, I would prefer family-style dinner to a buffet, because there's no interruption in the conversation as people get up and down to get dinner / seconds. I agree with all of the ladies who have suggested making sure that there is 1) enough food, and 2) space on each table for the serving dishes (you could ask your venue to change from 60" rounds to 72" rounds, for example).

Alyssa Milano's wedding was quite the high-budget affair (Colin Cowie isn't cheap!) and she had a family-style dinner (article here). I don't think formal necessarily has to equal stuffy: you should do whatever works for you and your FI / family.

Good luck with your planning!