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Gr8fulDave

Rough_Rock
Joined
Feb 11, 2008
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78
with a .81 H&A RB G VS2 from GOG versus a 1.0 H&A RB G SI1. I''m having a hard time justifying paying $2000 more for .19 of a carat. Is the 1 carat mark a mystical benchmark below which no man should go?
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For the record, she is not materialistic and it will be her first marriage. And yes, I know that the answer to this question will probably be "it depends on the person."
 
Out of curiousity, what size are her fingers? I''m not saying necessarily shell out two grand more if her fingers are larger, but it''s something to take into consideration, possibly. If she has tiny fingers, the .81 all the way, baby!!
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What do other people in your social circle have? In our area, less than a carat is rare...if that''s not the case where you are, I think .81 is a lovely size. :-)
 
Ok, three questions:

What's her ring size?
What's her age (doens't have to be too specific)
What do her friends/family have?

For a woman in her 20's living in Ohio with an active lifestyle and average means, under a carat is probably fine or fab. For a 35 year old attorney in NYC, 1ct plus is probably safer. You know the woman better than we can!

I have a 0.6 and wouldn't want an RB too much larger because of my professional setting. It all depends...
 
Date: 2/20/2008 4:09:17 PM
Author: vslover
What do other people in your social circle have? In our area, less than a carat is rare...if that''s not the case where you are, I think .81 is a lovely size. :-)
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Well, I don''t think that she really cares about what other people have or do (she drives a way more modest, but still nice, car than she can afford). Moreover, I have no idea what size diamond people in our circle have; I''ve never really bothered looking and I have very poor ability to make spatial and size type assessments so I probably wouldn''t know even it I did look.
 
hmmm..well, back when I was getting engaged it was important to me to try and get the 1 carat mark. no real reasoning at the time, it''s just what all my friends were getting and I thought it sounded good. Of course, I wouldn''t have been disappointed with a .81 if that is what my hubby chose and could have afforded at the time.
 
Date: 2/20/2008 4:26:48 PM
Author: mrssalvo
hmmm..well, back when I was getting engaged it was important to me to try and get the 1 carat mark. no real reasoning at the time, it''s just what all my friends were getting and I thought it sounded good. Of course, I wouldn''t have been disappointed with a .81 if that is what my hubby chose and could have afforded at the time.
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Your husband sounds like he found a real gem.
 
Hmmm...You asked for opinions and people are giving them...please don''t be insulting. Many people would prefer a 1 carat over a smaller size and many wouldn''t. Doesn''t make anyone a bad person.
 
Date: 2/20/2008 4:32:38 PM
Author: Gr8fulDave

Date: 2/20/2008 4:26:48 PM
Author: mrssalvo
hmmm..well, back when I was getting engaged it was important to me to try and get the 1 carat mark. no real reasoning at the time, it''s just what all my friends were getting and I thought it sounded good. Of course, I wouldn''t have been disappointed with a .81 if that is what my hubby chose and could have afforded at the time.
Click to expand...


Your husband sounds like he found a real gem.
Click to expand...
She is!!!!
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Date: 2/20/2008 4:23:14 PM
Author: Gr8fulDave
Date: 2/20/2008 4:09:17 PM

Author: vslover

What do other people in your social circle have? In our area, less than a carat is rare...if that''s not the case where you are, I think .81 is a lovely size. :-)
Click to expand...


Well, I don''t think that she really cares about what other people have or do (she drives a way more modest, but still nice, car than she can afford). Moreover, I have no idea what size diamond people in our circle have; I''ve never really bothered looking and I have very poor ability to make spatial and size type assessments so I probably wouldn''t know even it I did look.
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So, what size is her finger, then? I''m asking because, if she''s got small finger, like a size 4, the 0.81 is going to look nice and big and people will probably think it''s over a carat. But if she''s got big fingers like me (8.75), then I''d opt for the larger stone so the rock is more in proportion to her fingers. If she''s somewhere in between, then the size of the stone (to me) really isn''t a factor.

If you''re asking because you feel like you HAVE to get 1ct even though you can''t mentally justify it, then don''t get it. If you feel like you aren''t sure what will look best on her hand, then going by finger size might help you choose. If money is a concern, get the 0.81ct regardless of her finger size.

She''ll be happy regardless, honestly.
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well if you put a 0.81 and a 1.00 in front of her and asked her to pick which one...somehow I doubt she would gravitate towards the smaller one. Just from the experience of me and my friends when we went through this process. Our gals just always seemed to want to try on the larger ones. I thinks this applies also to flat screen tvs too. If you can swing it, go for the larger one. It''ll postpone updates for awhile, she can say 1 carat if asked how big is it, and if she does the dreaded "compare engagement rings" with her friends that extra size will come in handy. Good luck.
 
Date: 2/20/2008 4:33:57 PM
Author: vslover
Hmmm...You asked for opinions and people are giving them...please don''t be insulting. Many people would prefer a 1 carat over a smaller size and many wouldn''t. Doesn''t make anyone a bad person.
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Huh??? If anyone took offense at what I wrote, I apologize but I''m not sure who I insulted; it certainly wasn''t my intent at all.
 
Ugh sorry....I thought you were being sarcastic :-(
 
I would see what the upgrade policy is. RB tend to face up larger than other cut stones too, so a 0.81 RB would probably look as big if not bigger than a fancy cut stone.. princess for example. But again it''s a personal decision. I don''t know what you are planning for the setting, but maybe get the 1 ct in the simple setting? That''s what a lot of people do, then they can change the setting later. Personally I fell in love with the setting, got the diamond I could afford, then upgraded the center stone later (but I am probably one of the few that go that direction) again... personal decision I''m sure both would be beautiful.
 
Of course I''d pick the 1 carat!! But I don''t think that it matters that much. I assume that she''s a reasonable person and will appreciate either one if they are coming from her beloved. Get which you feel comfortable with...or keep looking for something in between if you can find it.
 
Date: 2/20/2008 4:36:47 PM
Author: gwendolyn
Date: 2/20/2008 4:23:14 PM

Author: Gr8fulDave

Date: 2/20/2008 4:09:17 PM


Author: vslover


What do other people in your social circle have? In our area, less than a carat is rare...if that''s not the case where you are, I think .81 is a lovely size. :-)
Click to expand...



Well, I don''t think that she really cares about what other people have or do (she drives a way more modest, but still nice, car than she can afford). Moreover, I have no idea what size diamond people in our circle have; I''ve never really bothered looking and I have very poor ability to make spatial and size type assessments so I probably wouldn''t know even it I did look.
Click to expand...

So, what size is her finger, then? I''m asking because, if she''s got small finger, like a size 4, the 0.81 is going to look nice and big and people will probably think it''s over a carat. But if she''s got big fingers like me (8.75), then I''d opt for the larger stone so the rock is more in proportion to her fingers. If she''s somewhere in between, then the size of the stone (to me) really isn''t a factor.


If you''re asking because you feel like you HAVE to get 1ct even though you can''t mentally justify it, then don''t get it. If you feel like you aren''t sure what will look best on her hand, then going by finger size might help you choose. If money is a concern, get the 0.81ct regardless of her finger size.


She''ll be happy regardless, honestly.
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Click to expand...

You mean..., you mean..., I have to know her ring size first before I purchase it?
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But seriously, thanks for your advice. She thinks that she has thick fingers but I don''t really see it. I think, no, I know, that I need to ask her if she wants to be involved in the purchase process and pray that the answer is yes.
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Would the extra $2000 be a financially difficult? If not, I say go with the 1 carat, because a bigger size is never a bad thing and DSS (diamond shrinkage syndrome) happens to us all
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When DH proposed over 5 years ago, he could have give me a plain band for all I cared, I just wanted the question!
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But when we started looking he really wanted to hit the 1 carat mark, so that''s what we looked for. Ultimately, we ended up with a 1.06 princess (which chipped and I no longer have
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) and I loved it!

That said, I think .81 is a GREAT size, especially if she has smaller fingers (5.5 or smaller)
 
Date: 2/20/2008 4:41:31 PM
Author: vslover
Ugh sorry....I thought you were being sarcastic :-(
Click to expand...

No problem; I figured it was just a misunderstanding. It is sometimes hard to judge the meaning of written words as opposed to the tone and other cues you get from seeing and hearing someone in person.
 
Date: 2/20/2008 4:00:37 PM
Author:Gr8fulDave
with a .81 H&A RB G VS2 from GOG versus a 1.0 H&A RB G SI1. I''m having a hard time justifying paying $2000 more for .19 of a carat. Is the 1 carat mark a mystical benchmark below which no man should go?
9.gif
For the record, she is not materialistic and it will be her first marriage. And yes, I know that the answer to this question will probably be ''it depends on the person.''
Click to expand...
Are these the only two options?? How about an H SI1. I''m sure she''d be happy with whatever you give her, but if you can swing 1ct, I''m sure she''d be thrilled.
 
I wouldn''t be disappointed at all with a .81. Obviously I wouldn''t turn down a 1ct either but a .81 is a great size!
 
Hi! I might just add another point to the topic. I have 5.25 fingers, drive a much crappier car than I can afford (actually, it blew up yesterday so I don't even have that), and I have just purchased 0.8ct RB. I am thinking this is definately pushing the size limits for me. I was actually wanting a 0.7ct initially, but I thought I would ward off any dreaded DSS in the future and go the 0.8 mark. I would have been disappointed with a 1ct stone cause I just wouldn't be comfortable wearing it. I am actually nervous as it hasn't been delivered yet and I am worried that it will look too big.

I know some PSers have just fallen over in shock
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All that said, you have to make a decision that your comfortable with financially first. If you think she would be happy with the bigger stone, go for it. As has been suggested, maybe go with a vendor that has a good upgrade policy.

If you could find out her ring size, we could point you to some pics of 1ct stones etc on certain size fingers. This will give you a better idea of what it will look like. I thought my fingers were think and fat too, but apparently a 5.25 isn't that big after all - sometimes with us ladies, it's all in the mind.

Good luck!!
 
Date: 2/20/2008 4:48:14 PM
Author: Gr8fulDave
You mean..., you mean..., I have to know her ring size first before I purchase it?

9.gif
But seriously, thanks for your advice. She thinks that she has thick fingers but I don''t really see it. I think, no, I know, that I need to ask her if she wants to be involved in the purchase process and pray that the answer is yes.
12.gif
Click to expand...
I think that''s a fine way to go about it.
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First, congratulations on your plans to propose--how exciting!

I agree with the advice to get what you can afford, but you should also only spend what you''re comfortable spending on the ring.

Now, it sounds like she''s given you a bit of a clue regarding what she wants because you''re only looking at RBs--did your intended tell you this, or did you get this info from a third party who knows her well? If it''s a third party, ask them! I know that my sister knew exactly what I wanted in case my FI wanted to ask her any questions. (Of course, what I thought I wanted changed drastically once we started looking, but that''s another story!)

My point is that we all have a lot of opinions, and we can guestimate about what might be best, but we don''t really have a clue about your lady. I know there''s a lot of pressure to make the proposal a surprise and yada yada yada, but that''s not real life--she probably knows you''re going to propose soon, and you''ve probably discussed the prospect of marriage together. I firmly believe in making informed, practical decisions when it comes to putting down a large chunk of change for anything, and an engagement ring is no exception. That is, unless your intended wants a real surprise--then it''s up to you!

And you can always surprise her with the actual proposal--my FI did, and we picked out the ring together!

Best wishes and good luck!
 
Well - if you''re asking me PERSONALLY I''d say I would be happier with the 1ct because it''s a better size for my finger. There is a visible difference between .8 and 1ct.

But as for your girlfriend - who knows? That all depends on her personal preference.

But yes, there is a "magical" 1 carat mark - it''s called jacked-up prices. Go for something just barely under a carat - you''ll save some cash and there won''t be a visual difference between it and the 1 carat.
 
Date: 2/20/2008 5:27:23 PM
Author: Haven


And you can always surprise her with the actual proposal--my FI did, and we picked out the ring together!
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This is how we did it also. I loved being part of the process and making the decision together.
 
May I ask how you settled on G color? Perhaps you can have the best of both worlds by getting an H or I color 1 carat stone (less cha-ching, more ba-bling!)?

On PS we''ve observed a phenomenon known as "shrinkage." When DH and I looked at rings, the saleslady got out a 5/8 carat (you know you''re in a classy place when they measure the carat weight in eighths! . . . J/K) and it seemed quite hefty and nice-sized for me. When we decided to use my heirloom 1.14 carat, I thought, gosh, what a big diamond for a girl of 23 (almost 24) and tried to pick a setting that would minimize, not enhance, the size of the diamond. Now that I''m 27 with a successful husband (he didn''t have $ to spare when we got engaged, so I certainly didn''t want a big diamond at the expense of necessities or debt), I''m like, hmmm, 1.14, are you big enough? and dreaming of that 2 carat diamond!

So, if you can afford the one carat, I''d say go for it. As my dad said when I told him how much my mom''s pendant would cost, "After all, this is for my special lady." (Aw!)
 
Several random thoughts, in no particular order...

Assuming the cut is excellent, I am a SIZE GIRL, and all other things being equal, I would definitely prefer the 1 carat.
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BUT, I am also a practical girl, and wouldn't want my fiance to go into debt over a ring... so if the extra 2K was a hardship, then I would happily take the .81!
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BUT, if you drop color and clarity, you can probably get to the 1 carat mark (or darn close) for the same money as the .81. Keep cut your priority, and ask Jon about a killer H, I, J or even K color stone. I have a beautiful AGS-0 2.36 RB that is a J/SI2, it is totally eyeclean and faces up beautifully white. My diamond studs, approximately .75 each, are both AGS-0 K/SI1s and they are little fireballs! I LOVE J and K color stones!

And last but not least, GOG has a great upgrade policy, so if you are OK with her possibly upgrading someday, then what you get now isn't necessarily her one-and-only stone... and THAT can take some of the *pressure* off now!
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How about a compromise?? Try looking at diamonds in the H/SI range to spend a little extra (but not 2k) and try to get up the 1 carat range. Would I be dissappointed, no...but there is something really symbolic about getting to the 1 carat mark!
 
If you look through the eyecandy folder and read that stats, there are A LOT of PS''ers that stay JUST UNDER that ct. marker, and are SMART for doing so, so obviosly there are diamond lovers here who know that the mark is just a number and no one will know what the actual weight of their diamond is by looking at it! Whether it''s 1.8, 1.9 or 3.9 or .89 I see it all the time. I did it the first time. I noticed that prices jumped from abuot 3-4K to 7K just for a tenth of a ct! I went with about .9 ct, or maybe it was .89, I have to look. I think it''s smart and that one ct mark is a psychological thing. If you want to do it for piece of mind, then that''s fine, but you have to pay and you won''t know by looking. jmo
 
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