Would you “lend out” your jewellery to a friend, work colleague?

[MRBXXXFVVS1]

For those of you that are happy to lend to friends and family, how would you respond if the jewelry was damaged or stolen? What if the borrower did not have the means or intent to repair or replace?

I would only consider letting people borrow something that I can easily part ways with (financially and sentimentally), especially if I knew they could not afford to repair/replace it. I would be bothered if they did not offer to repair/repay, but if it would be a financial hardship I would not accept the money.

 

[bludiva]

Within my immediate family ie mother and sister, we have and do on occasion borrow each other’s jewels for a special occasion. Now that I have the mostest and bestest jewels I’m more often the lender. My diamond bracelet, my sapphire and diamond ring and some of my watches are most requested. I don’t mind at all. I’m a pretty generous person and Im happy to share.
Now recently I had a friend ask if she could borrow my diamond necklace with diamond heart on it for her nieces wedding. For the niece as the bride to wear. The issue for me was that had the necklace been accidentally lost or stolen (remember it’s a stranger to me who is wearing it) I’d be out about $10,000 worth of jewellery. My jewellery isn’t insured but even if it was it still wouldn’t be insured for someone else to lose it or have it stolen. So I said to my friend “The necklace is valuable and not insured so to lend it out to you I would need you to give me $10,000 as a security deposit”. She was totally appalled and shocked by me saying that to her. Don’t I trust her? Did I think she, or her niece, would steal it?
I replied that it wasn’t about trust it was about the fact that if it got lost or stolen I would be out of pocket $10,000 worth of jewellery.
Obviously this situation has greatly stressed our friendship. Personally I think it was a little presumptuous of her to ask, she’s not a “best friend” and it’s not even her who will be wearing it and taking care of it.
I haven’t seen her or spoken to her recently, in Sydney we are in lockdown, but I’m feeling somewhat guilty and all that.

I don’t think her request was appropriate and if she was a good friend she would have backed off when you expressed hesitation. No bride “needs” a diamond necklace on her wedding day.

ETA: saw the update, that makes so much more sense

 

[MamaBee]

I’ve loaned jewelry out to a family member that I never received back. It’s touchy because I can’t ask for it back. I would have to tell her that it’s not insured. I don’t insure most of my jewelry. One time I lend her something that I got back after a long period of time. One of the stones was broken. She didn’t notice it..and I didn’t tell her. It’s a tough question..

 

[Arcadian]

There's only 1 friend that I have ever loaned jewelry to, who I absolutely trust with it. anyone else the answer is no.

 

[Ionysis]

I’ve loaned jewelry out to a family member that I never received back. It’s touchy because I can’t ask for it back. I would have to tell her that it’s not insured. I don’t insure most of my jewelry. One time I lend her something that I got back after a long period of time. One of the stones was broken. She didn’t notice it..and I didn’t tell her. It’s a tough question..

Why can’t you ask for it back?

 

[bright&shiny]

So, I guess the friend isn’t a PSr…ROFL! This makes me think of that thread - same name as above…this example would be a perfect fit!

@Bron357 I’m so glad it’s worked out - amazing how a little communication can change an outcome! Good for you in closing the loop by calling her.

 

[bright&shiny]

I’ve loaned jewelry out to a family member that I never received back. It’s touchy because I can’t ask for it back. I would have to tell her that it’s not insured. I don’t insure most of my jewelry. One time I lend her something that I got back after a long period of time. One of the stones was broken. She didn’t notice it..and I didn’t tell her. It’s a tough question..

Oh ugh. That is a touch situation! I hope the piece is finally returned.

 

[Lookinagain]

I’ve loaned jewelry out to a family member that I never received back. It’s touchy because I can’t ask for it back. I would have to tell her that it’s not insured. I don’t insure most of my jewelry. One time I lend her something that I got back after a long period of time. One of the stones was broken. She didn’t notice it..and I didn’t tell her. It’s a tough question..

Apparently, you are much nicer than I am! I would definitely ask for it back if she didn't return it as soon as the reason she borrowed it was over. As for the broken stone, yes, I would have mentioned that too, just to see if she offered to replace it. I'm not sure if I'd take the money. I guess it depends on the value. My friends and I never borrow anything from each other, oh, perhaps a couple of dollars here and there if someone needs cash for something and only have credit cards with them. No big deal as it's never much. But I've never had a friend ask to borrow anything of value and I've never asked them. I plan on keeping it that way. I don't live close to any family members except my daughter and she has never asked either. I'd probably lend her smaller pieces of jewelry, but not anything super valuable.

 

[LemonMoonLex]

I’ve loaned jewelry out to a family member that I never received back. It’s touchy because I can’t ask for it back. I would have to tell her that it’s not insured. I don’t insure most of my jewelry. One time I lend her something that I got back after a long period of time. One of the stones was broken. She didn’t notice it..and I didn’t tell her. It’s a tough question..

I'm also confused as to why you feel as though you cannot ask for it back?

Maybe you hate confrontation? But so do I actually, but for me I wouldn't feel bad for asking for something back that another person has borrowed, especially if it's jewelry as jewelry is incredibly personal and irreplaceable.

 

[MamaBee]

I’m always afraid she will find me on PS so
I cant say who it is.. Just let’s say she loves me and I wouldn’t want to hurt her feelings.

 

[LemonMoonLex]

I’m always afraid she will find me on PS so
I cant say who it is.. Just let’s say she loves me and I wouldn’t want to hurt her feelings.

Did you give it to her? Or was it strictly "Hey can I borrow this?"

I guess without you giving us more information, I'm just not going to quite understand why asking for the piece back is rude at all or would warrant hurt feelings on her end. Also know that we don't need you to tell us who she is at all to understand, just the context of the borrowing. Like who approached who and what was said.

Depending upon that it could or could not be rude to ask for it back. It just all depends on what was said exactly.

 

[PreRaphaelite]

Under no circumstances.

 

[LilAlex]

Depends on the friend/colleague.* There are people -- like those who responded -- who would treat a borrowed piece exceptionally well and probably more carefully than their own. And then there are the rest. To the rest, I would not lend my car, tent, lawnmower, power drill...

* I also don't think we know anyone -- friend or family -- who would ever ask to borrow jewelry.

 

[Lookinagain]

I think the familial relationship may impact some borrowers. I know children who borrow money (large amounts) and things from their parents and never return them or mention paying the money back. I think some children think that whatever belongs to their parents is theirs too. Not sure what these same kids would do about jewelry.

 

[Dancing Fire]

I’m always afraid she will find me on PS so
I cant say who it is.. Just let’s say she loves me and I wouldn’t want to hurt her feelings.

Mama
I love you too. Can I borrow your ring?

 

[MamaBee]

Did you give it to her? Or was it strictly "Hey can I borrow this?"

I guess without you giving us more information, I'm just not going to quite understand why asking for the piece back is rude at all or would warrant hurt feelings on her end. Also know that we don't need you to tell us who she is at all to understand, just the context of the borrowing. Like who approached who and what was said.

Depending upon that it could or could not be rude to ask for it back. It just all depends on what was said exactly.

It was kind of like a “Hey…Can I borrow this?” It wasn’t for a specific event…It wasn’t a very expensive ring....I give her jewelry I don’t wear anymore so she may have been confused..I don’t know..

 

[MamaBee]

Mama
I love you too. Can I borrow your ring?

I like your watch..

 

[Bron357]

Oh yes, that beauty. She really has no idea about your lovely collection right? (Thinking about your gem hoard and other things)…

Most of my friends know nothing about jewellery and I don’t say anything about what I wear unless someone asks. Interestingly I’ve had friends / work colleagues express surprise that an “old watch” is worth anything let alone me choosing to buy them. I don’t think they realise that my ones are gold or platinum with real gemstones and apart from anything else have a “content value”.
That’s why I love Pricescope so much, all my pals here love jewellery as much as I do and I love sharing my stories and reading and seeing others beautiful pieces.

 

[Bron357]

I’ve loaned jewelry out to a family member that I never received back. It’s touchy because I can’t ask for it back. I would have to tell her that it’s not insured. I don’t insure most of my jewelry. One time I lend her something that I got back after a long period of time. One of the stones was broken. She didn’t notice it..and I didn’t tell her. It’s a tough question..

It’s hard isn’t it. I hate confrontation too.
Some people though just don’t seem to understand “connection” or “value” and bumble along their own way.
Personally I would never borrow from a friend. I’d be mortified if something happened to it. Because I have a connection with my things I project my feelings onto them. I would feel like dying a thousand deaths if I lost or damaged someone’s else item but other people are “eh, whatever”. Those same people tend not to have kept their possessions in good condition.
I judge people by their cars and shoes.
Not the value of them but the upkeep of them.
A friend I have moved on from “borrowed” my sewing machine. It wasn’t a super fancy one and I rarely used it so why not. A few months went by and it hadn’t been returned as yet and because I needed it I got up the courage to say “Um, you know my sewing machine, um, can I have it back now because I need it, thanks”.
Without missing a beat she says “oh that old thing, I didn’t think you wanted it. Actually I’ve gotten rid of it”
oh.
Hmm.

 

[HollyJane]

For those of you that are happy to lend to friends and family, how would you respond if the jewelry was damaged or stolen? What if the borrower did not have the means or intent to repair or replace?

I would only consider letting people borrow something that I can easily part ways with (financially and sentimentally), especially if I knew they could not afford to repair/replace it. I would be bothered if they did not offer to repair/repay, but if it would be a financial hardship I would not accept the money.

That's kind of my take on it.

I would not loan out my jewelry, not even to the mother of my late husband, and she is my closest living family member now. But, understand that she does not take care of things and cannot afford to replace anything. She lost her own diamond ring, because she took it off her finger and shoved it loose in her purse. Then she spilled her purse outside in the dark. And despite family spending hours looking for it, even with metal detectors, it remains lost to this day.

However, I love to gift my family with jewelry. I have bequeathed a diamond ring to my brother-in-law and have rings set aside for my nieces. I have already passed on to them my gold and gemstone jewelry that I wore as a baby and child.

I have a diamond ring for my mother-in-law to give to her. After she has finished with her home repair work and is moved back in and settled, we are going together to get it sized and ready for her!

Gifting jewelry to others gives me joy. Lending it out and having it lost, stolen, broken does not.

 

[Calliecake]

I would have no problem loaning things to a family member or good friend.

 

[MamaBee]

It’s hard isn’t it. I hate confrontation too.
Some people though just don’t seem to understand “connection” or “value” and bumble along their own way.
Personally I would never borrow from a friend. I’d be mortified if something happened to it. Because I have a connection with my things I project my feelings onto them. I would feel like dying a thousand deaths if I lost or damaged someone’s else item but other people are “eh, whatever”. Those same people tend not to have kept their possessions in good condition.
I judge people by their cars and shoes.
Not the value of them but the upkeep of them.
A friend I have moved on from “borrowed” my sewing machine. It wasn’t a super fancy one and I rarely used it so why not. A few months went by and it hadn’t been returned as yet and because I needed it I got up the courage to say “Um, you know my sewing machine, um, can I have it back now because I need it, thanks”.
Without missing a beat she says “oh that old thing, I didn’t think you wanted it. Actually I’ve gotten rid of it”
oh.
Hmm.

OMG…That’s horrible!

 

[icy_jade]

Actually… given how good some of the czs/mossanites/other lookalikes are and how affordable they can be, I don’t see the point of borrowing something you can’t afford just to look richer. Just wear costume jewelry and have fun right? Or is there some other reason for the borrowing? I mean, I’m honestly not sure everyone can tell the difference unless it’s a PS-er who will may have a loupe readily available for just in case shopping accidents.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

So we’ve got an update…..
Another friend called me. She had talked to our mutual friend X (I havent reached out to her since the last conversation) and turns out my friend X didn’t know they were “real” diamonds! Friend X thought the necklace was CZ diamonds so didn’t understand why I mentioned $10,000.
Friend X is now rather embarrassed, firstly that she had assumed they were CZ, secondly she wouldnt have asked me if she’d known they were actually “real” and thirdly she’s sorry she reacted negatively to my response.
So I called her and said it’s all ok, I’m not offended or anything and in actual fact I do have a CZ necklace and bracelet that her niece is welcome to wear. She thanked me about 50 times over.
Before she hangs up she says “Your engagement ring, that isn’t a white sapphire or something is it ?”
Ummmm …… no.
The “lendable” necklace shown ha ha

Phew !
And the lender necklase is really really lovelly
i would never assume something is CZ

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

It’s hard isn’t it. I hate confrontation too.
Some people though just don’t seem to understand “connection” or “value” and bumble along their own way.
Personally I would never borrow from a friend. I’d be mortified if something happened to it. Because I have a connection with my things I project my feelings onto them. I would feel like dying a thousand deaths if I lost or damaged someone’s else item but other people are “eh, whatever”. Those same people tend not to have kept their possessions in good condition.
I judge people by their cars and shoes.
Not the value of them but the upkeep of them.
A friend I have moved on from “borrowed” my sewing machine. It wasn’t a super fancy one and I rarely used it so why not. A few months went by and it hadn’t been returned as yet and because I needed it I got up the courage to say “Um, you know my sewing machine, um, can I have it back now because I need it, thanks”.
Without missing a beat she says “oh that old thing, I didn’t think you wanted it. Actually I’ve gotten rid of it”
oh.
Hmm.

What the F is wrong with some people ? ?

 

[MamaBee]

It’s hard isn’t it. I hate confrontation too.
Some people though just don’t seem to understand “connection” or “value” and bumble along their own way.
Personally I would never borrow from a friend. I’d be mortified if something happened to it. Because I have a connection with my things I project my feelings onto them. I would feel like dying a thousand deaths if I lost or damaged someone’s else item but other people are “eh, whatever”. Those same people tend not to have kept their possessions in good condition.
I judge people by their cars and shoes.
Not the value of them but the upkeep of them.
A friend I have moved on from “borrowed” my sewing machine. It wasn’t a super fancy one and I rarely used it so why not. A few months went by and it hadn’t been returned as yet and because I needed it I got up the courage to say “Um, you know my sewing machine, um, can I have it back now because I need it, thanks”.
Without missing a beat she says “oh that old thing, I didn’t think you wanted it. Actually I’ve gotten rid of it”
oh.
Hmm.

@Bron357 I‘m wondering what you said to her after she said this..

 

[Ionysis]

It was kind of like a “Hey…Can I borrow this?” It wasn’t for a specific event…It wasn’t a very expensive ring....I give her jewelry I don’t wear anymore so she may have been confused..I don’t know..

Perhaps you could sort of “borrow” it back. Like “hey I’d really like to wear that [piece of jewellery] for when I go to [event] next week. It goes so well with….”

Then kind of forget to give it back…

 

[Diamond Girl 21]

This thread brought to mind this huge family drama between my elderly aunt and my cousin. Let me preface this by saying my aunt adored jewelry and had plenty of it. She only had one son, but a lot of nieces. When we were young she would buy us costume jewelry to play with. When we got into our teens, we could pick out anything we wanted to wear for special occasions. She actively encouraged us to do so, much to my mom's chagrin. Mom was always worried I would lose something. Thankfully I never did. Anyway, my Aunt let my cousin borrow a special ring. My cousin didn't return it, so my aunt asked her to please give it back. My cousin said no, because she said my aunt gave it to her. Well, that pretty much started world war 3, and I was in the middle of it. I will say this though, even if my aunt "gave" it to her, she should have returned it....period. I guess there's a reason for that old saying: "Never a borrower or lender be."

 

[Mekp]

To my mother, sister, or daughter? Sure. Although I doubt they would want to.
Absolutely not to anyone else.
I would never borrow anything from anyone I couldn't easily afford to replace if I lost or damaged it. And as I can easily afford to replace very little, I just don't borrow anything.

 

[Slickk]

Perhaps you could sort of “borrow” it back. Like “hey I’d really like to wear that [piece of jewellery] for when I go to [event] next week. It goes so well with….”

Then kind of forget to give it back…