Willing to pay for better diamond

[sizematters]

My boyfriend and I are currently shopping for my engagement ring. My boyfriend has a limit on what he's willing to spend and I respect that. I've offered to help out with the difference so that we can buy a diamond in the size and grade that I want. He is really offended by this and has spoken with all his friends who tell him that accepting financial help is not good in this situation. I find this ridiculous because my boyfriend has borrowed money from me in the past (not that this would be a loan) and we've always helped each other out financially when necessary. Can anyone give me a good reason (other than male ego) why he's being so hardheaded about this?

By the way, I want to keep this ring forever. I'm not interested in eventually upsizing which is why I want it to be right the first time. I've read many times on this forum that women tend to think their ring looks smaller over time. My hope is for a 1.3 carat H color very good cut diamond which is not out of range financially for either of us. Any thoughts? Am I a horrible person to want this diamond if my boyfriend says it costs above what he is willing to pay? I'm not into cars or other jewelry or expensive things. I just want a nice diamond!

 

[Talonnav]

I don't think it is a bad idea if you want to help out with the e-ring purchase. However, it seems your boyfriend has a different take on this.

I gave my boyfriend (now hubby) my old wedding ring with diamonds to trade in towards my e-ring. That way I got rid of the wedding ring I certainly didn't want and saved him some $$ on the new e-ring.

 

[Adrienne]

I don't think there is any other reason for your boyfriend to accept your money for the e-ring except for his male ego. And I think that is probably a good enough reason.

Women tend to have visions of their wedding from the time they are a child. There are things we each expect, things that need to be in order for it to be the "perfect" wedding. And then after we get married there are certain roles we expect to fill within that marriage.

Men probably are the same way - only from more of a breadwinner standpoint. It would just kill my fiance if he couldn't support me, he considers it his "duty" of sorts to be able to provide a house, food, etc. While I work and can support myself, he feels it is important that he is able to provide these things for me.

Your fiance is probably looking at it as his duty to provide the love of his life a ring. If he cannot afford it on his own, if what he can provide is not good enough, then it is probably a blow to his ego.

A year ago when we were shopping for my e-ring my fiance didn't have as much spending money. We ended up at a local mall jeweler where we found a "great" diamond for more than he could afford. The salesperson was very smooth - suddenly we were filling out a credit app together - then suddenly it was under my name alone because my credit is better. My fiance became very quiet, and very sad. What should have been a fun experience became a huge blow to his ego. He couldn't provide for me and it just broke his heart. Suffice it to say we cancelled the purchase and bought an inexpensive but pretty diamond band from a different mall jeweler. Since then we have refinanced the house and paid off some debt, and he can now afford a better diamond for my wedding ring (and we now pool our money together so it's really our money buying my ring)

So I'd say let him have his price limit - some men like to feel that they can support their mate, and it's an important thing to them.

Of course, I could be way off base here...

 

[DancinGirl]

I would agree that it is totally a male ego thing. Men feel powerful and capable when they are financially secure and can make such a purchase for their love of their life.

I know my situation is somewhat similar in that I had an engagement ring from a previous relationship that I had ownership of after the breakup of the engagement. I didn't want to keep the ring for emotional reasons - and I wanted to get fair value for it. So I traded it for a loose diamond that was larger and spent some more money on it to get what I wanted. ($1700 more to be exact)

My steady boyfriend now and I have talked about engagement and marriage a LOT and he knows I have this stone that I would want used for the ring he gets me. This was a slight issue. He didn't want to feel like both my EX and I paid for the majority of the ring that HE was to give me to ask me to marry him. Totally a bruised ego thing. So what we discussed was having him use the stone (when the time comes) and trade UP to something better and more expensive and so he feels it was a stone he chose and of course the setting would be his decision too. I think that made him feel a little better about it.

I see nothing wrong with it (you helping)-- but you should probably let him do it so it doesn't hurt him. A male ego is an EXTREMELY sensitive thing. Don't ruin your relationship over it. Ya know? Trading up for something better when HE can afford it later on down the road shouldn't be a big deal... get the setting you want (or he knows you want) and go for a bigger better diamond later on - you'll be happy and so will he. I'd say go smaller with great cut and color and you'll probably love it so much you would never want to trade it for the world!

~Dancin Girl

 

[fire&ice]

If you want an old married broads advice, don't do it & don't push the issue. This isn't a car. The ring has *symbolic* issues.

If you want a larger stone consider a well cut I/SI1 or even a J/SI2. Try to get a stone w/ some medium to strong blue fluor. Consider setting the more colored stone in gold.

I've said this many times before - we did the small perfect little stone f/vvs .70. I will take my not so perfect I/SI 3c stone any day. I have an F, G & I stone. I see little difference in their setting.

Good luck.

 

[DancinGirl]

I don't conquer with the 3ct crappy looking stone as Fire&Ice did - but to each "her" own. I wouldn't do an I clarity - that means you can SEE problems (inclusions) with the naked eye!

I had a .80ct VS1, I color - and it was ideal cut - fire and sparkle I think will outdo a large stone for sure! The true signs of an excellent rock!

What size is your ring finger? A .80ct stone looked HUGE on my size 4.5. Keep that into consideration. Like I said in my last post I did go up in size when I traded, I went up in color and carat weight, but down in clarity.

I have a very clean SI2 (meaning you can't see anything to the naked eye). Going down in clarity is OKAY if you have seen the diamond first hand and know the inclusions on it. Carbon black dots are not good to be in any diamond, and some crystals are able to be seen too. But if it is just feathers, pinpoints, and clouds most likely you won't even notice them. I have trouble seeing anything major in mine under my 10X loop!!! And it's an SI2 - which I would have never gotten but because I saw it was very clean - I went for it so I didn't have to pay that much extra for a larger better color diamond.

But if I had more money at the time I would have gone better clarity and better color too.

Let him do the dirty work - show him this site!!! Do you know what his budget is for this??

~ Dancin Girl

 

[fire&ice]

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On 4/28/2003 10:22:33 AM DancinGirl wrote:

I don't conquer with the 3ct crappy looking stone as Fire&Ice did - but to each "her" own. I wouldn't do an I clarity - that means you can SEE problems (inclusions) with the naked eye!

I had a .80ct VS1, I color - and it was ideal cut - fire and sparkle I think will outdo a large stone for sure! The true signs of an excellent rock!

??

~ Dancin Girl

----------------

Excuse me? A crappy 3 c stone? My stone is not crappy - it just doesn't have better specs on paper than my .70 F/vvs stone. Many SI (clarity) stones are eye clean as is for the most part my I color SI1 clarity stone.

Is your I color stone crappy? Why is my I color stone crappy because it is larger? I never recommended an I clarity stone. However, I don't think she should rule these out. Many have very benign inclusions that require very close inspeciton to see. I have heard experts on this board claim they have seen I clarity stones that are eye clean to the unaided eye.

In this women's instance, she has decided on a certain size stone. To accomplish this *and* (more importantly) not hurt her to be's feelings, she can consider a I color SI1 or 2 clarity stone. She can choose to go smaller and stay w/ the H/VS stone. I don't think there is a "correct" answer.

All I wanted to do was give her an option. I was speaking from personal experience. I love my .70 F/vvs stone. It's just that I like my larger - just as pretty - stone better. Your personal attack on my "crappy" stone was uncalled for and simply not true.

Just for the record, I did not sacrifice quality for carat weight. My decision was an economic one. I had the money. I choose not to spend it on something *I* can't see. I really don't give a darn about specs on paper (except to pay for what you get). To me, it's all about the diamond.

 

[DancinGirl]

"If you want a larger stone consider a well cut I/SI1 or even a J/SI2. Try to get a stone w/ some medium to strong blue fluor. Consider setting the more colored stone in gold."

Sorry - when I read this I thought you meant for her to get an I or SI stone - and I was commenting on NOT getting a LARGE Included stone (I1, I2, etc).. I wasn't referring to color. I know an I color stone is very pretty - I did have one and thought it was great. But I am telling her for the small budget that fire and sparkle usually outshine a large one that may have a lot of flaws that can be seen.

Not knocking your stone!
Sorry!

~Dancin Girl

 

[Heyjud]

Advice from another married many a year
Probably longer than anyone writing here...

Let him buy the ring with joy and pride
And he'll glow...when you become his bride.

You'll own bigger diamonds - and the years will fly
But the memory of this one, no money can buy.

 

[emnightingale]

My story: in the spirit of equality, my husband and I decided together that we were going to get married. We decided together what the ring was going to look like. But when it came down to paying for the ring, there was a vast difference of opinion in how it should be done. I'd just as soon have paid for half and had a larger center stone, but he was NOT having it that way.

The end to my story? I let him pay for the whole thing and we bought a beautiful stone in a size he could afford.

There have been times, admittedly, that I would have liked to have a larger stone. Case in point. While visiting my brother in January, he looked at my wedding ring, gave me a smug look, and told me his fiancee's is larger. (In order to be the bigger person I did not point out that it looked like frozen spit, but really, come on! Many of us who know diamonds would be suspect of a simple .84 ct round in a 14k wg solitaire setting that was marked down from $2K at Fred Meyer). Still, I wanted to throw up when he said that and there was a short period of time where I felt like putting my wedding ring back in its box until the situation wasn't as fresh in my mind.

Anyway. The POINT to my story is that the fact that I was visibly upset about this rude and unnecessary comment hurt my husband's feelings more than the comment itself, and every time I think about it I am wracked with guilt. In fact I feel so guilty even typing this that it leaves me with a lump in my throat.

So, if gentle persuasion on your part doesn't work, let him buy you what he can afford and be happy with it. Love and cherish it for what it is.

Em

 

[fire&ice]

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On 4/28/2003 11:56:36 AM emnightingale wrote:

Case in point. While visiting my brother in January, he looked at my wedding ring, gave me a smug look, and told me his fiancee's is larger. (In order to be the bigger person I did not point out that it looked like frozen spit, but really, come on! Many of us who know diamonds would be suspect of a simple .84 ct round in a 14k wg solitaire setting that was marked down from $2K at Fred Meyer). Still, I wanted to throw up when he said that and there was a short period of time where I felt like putting my wedding ring back in its box until the situation wasn't as fresh in my mind.


Em
----------------

Is your brother *still* making comments? Oh brother! Since he is not going to change, just don't let it bother you.

I could write volumes on my relationship w/ my brother. It all comes down to *his* inadequecies - not mine. I have finally figured this out & his comments make me chuckle at this point. It's so predictable.

Like Em, hubby & I have a very equal partnership. The ring was something different all together. Many moons ago when we were looking at engagement rings, I was leaning toward a 3 stone ring. The 3 stone ring was more expensive than his budget. I innocently suggested I could make up the difference. Well, needless to say, *that* went over like a turd in a punchbowl. I stayed well within his budget.

To Dancin girl - no harm/no foul. I was totally confused as my stone had your same specs. I'm a little sensitive as everyone assumes:

Big stone = bad quality
Small stone = great quality

When the truth lies somewhere squarely in the middle.

 

[DancinGirl]

Not a problem, Fire&Ice...

My opinion is mine, and yours is yours - it's all good.

I just have seen LARGE diamonds and because I know enough about them to see the imperfections - I don't like the look of a large stone with not much sparkle and black specs or cloudy look. Which is not what I recommend someone doing if they are on a budget.

I would recommend a smaller stone with awesome fire and no visable flaws that would outshine a big very imperfect one.
(not saying that's what yours is at all - just in general)

But all in all - it's what the guy gets that you just have to love and WILL love no matter what. (we hope)

My good friend got a .70ct solitare and had a major inclusion that was visable with the naked eye from her fiance. She was embarrassed by the imperfection and makes that part of her ring face her (thinking this will hide it) But she loves it because it is from him and yet he is embarrassed so badly about it, he won't tell her any of the specs or where he got it!! But - I doubt she would trade it for the world... she is just that way.

To each his/her own - right??
For me - my new stone I got in the trade is 1.07ct (up from the .80ct), and just looking at it next to my small finger I am afriad it will be huge! It's not set yet, so I don't know. I would even let my boyfriend trade it for smaller to get more fire and sparkle in a stone cause that's what I love!

~Dancin Girl

 

[sizematters]

I'm a little surprised by the replies to my post. I thought all the women on this board would rally behind me. I understand that this is a male ego issue but I've got plenty of ego of my own and I've known what kind of diamond I want for a long time and informed my boyfriend of it a long time ago. This isn't something I'm just now springing on him. Of course, he believes it's wasteful to spend this much money on a diamond but then I think it's wasteful to spend so much money on a BMW but I bet you he'll buy one with OUR money after we're married. I am a professional women and I work around women who wear huge and beautiful rocks. I'm not asking for a ROCK. I just want something that I can be proud of and that I won't have to give up in a few years. It's not that my boyfriend can't afford the ring I want but he's capped his willingness to pay at $6000 total for stone and setting and I think a little nudge in $$ (which I'm willing to give) will yield exactly what I want.

We are a modern couple in every way. Our careers will mean we won't even live together after we get married. I see no reason to be traditional in this one area just to spare him some ridiculous ego pain. I love him but I think he's being very pigheaded. If I wanted to buy him a watch and my cap was $2000 and the watch he wanted cost $2500, I certainly wouldn't have a problem if he paid the difference, because then he would get exactly what he wants and we would both be happy. I don't see this situation differently though many will argue that it is.

I have to say, this situation is making the entire ring buying experience painful and stressful but I don't understand why I should be the one that has to compromise. I do a lot of that in other areas but I feel relatively strongly about standing my ground on this one...

 

[sizematters]

Dancingirl,

My ring size is a 5. I've tried on a 1 ct and 1.5 ct and I like 1.5 a little better but I've downsized to a 1.3 knowing that it will look pretty much the same. I'm going with an x-prong style setting which sets the diamond a little lower and, to me, makes it look smaller than actual size.

 

[Rook]

Ok, as a guy, I can definately understand your boyfiends feelings. First, $6000 is a good budget for a ring, and can buy a wonderful ring.

Second, the purchase of the ring is a special undertaken for a lot of men, and having your wife to be have to chip in on it is demeaning. You cannot compare that to buying a watch for him.

Third, I thought the ring was a symbol of the love and admiration you have together, not a symbol of how much money you have or how big of a ring you got to show off for your work friends. Sorry, but you are comming off a bit materialistic saying that. You should love the fact he wants to marry you and build a life with you. Demanding a certain size and quality of ring is, IMO, rude and insulting. You should be happy with a few hundred dollar plain wedding band. After all, it is not the ring, but the man who gave it to you.

Last, you are not compromising anything. Either he gives you a ring or not, and you either accept it or not. It is not a negotiation. "I will marry you if you buy me X ring" "I will only propose if you accept Y ring"

I think you are focusing on the negitive of the situation and not realizing that you too are taking the most important and wonderful step toward your future that you will ever take. You are getting married, or at least hopefully, you should be happy. You should not be worrying about the ring he gives you, but the fact he is giving you a ring.

BTW, I am not saying you are materialistic, just you are coming off sounding that way. I don't mean to insult.

 

[sizematters]

Rook,

I knew when I wrote the post that I might be sounding a bit materialistic but who isn't?! Does anyone really "need" all the things we have? Americans are the most materialistic humans as a group on the plant. At least I can admit it. It's not about showing off to my work friends. It's about buying something that I want that for some reason (admittedly not a good reason) is important to me. Men sound a bit materialistic when they want BMWs too. Do you really need a German engineered machine to get you to and from work and the gym? Or do you need the best Swiss engineered timekeeper in the world in the form of a Rolex to help you get to your appointments on time. In both cases, I doubt it. I am not asking the man to pay some ridiculous amount of money for something I want. He doesn't have to because I respect his stance on how much he's willing to pay and am willing to make up the difference (did you miss that part?). I can FULLY afford to buy this ring for myself if I needed to and that's what it comes down to. I want a ring as good as the one I would be willing to buy for myself. I don't see anything wrong with that. I don't plan on ever asking for another diamond from him (I can, again, buy it for myself). I want this ring FOREVER and I want it to be something that I am proud to wear FOREVER. It is important to me and if he cares about what is important to me, I think he should be willing to put male ego aside.

And, as far as compromise goes, I disagree. In this modern age, there are many aspects of an engagement ring that a woman gets to choose and size should be no different if she's willing to help out with the cost.

 

[sturkiej]

As a guy I feel compelled to reply, why not let him buy what he can afford or in this case let him spend what he wants?? He will certainly feel better knowing he got to pick out what he wanted to give you. Why not just give general guidelines and let him go at it?? It sounds to me like this has become more difficult than it should be. If he were to let you help pay for something bigger wouldn't he feel as though what he picked wasn't good enough or in that case why not just let you buy it for yourself?? My gal said I want a Pear and I set a budget, researched and bought a pretty dang good Pear. Just appease the man if you want something different or bigger or better than after he does his thing go trade in and get bigger and better.

 

[emnightingale]

It's not that my boyfriend can't afford the ring I want but he's capped his willingness to pay at $6000 total for stone and setting and I think a little nudge in $$ (which I'm willing to give) will yield exactly what I want.

------------------------------------------------

Well, since it's a matter of willingness and not ability to pay, you might have more ground to stand on than I did. You could try what I did and approach it from the angle that since you made the decision to get married together, you should make the decision on the ring together as well.

I think the reason you may not have received the response you expected from the women on this board is that despite the fact many of us are admitted diamond snobs, there really is an aspect of sentiment when it comes to one's wedding ring. For a lot of us, it's less about the ring itself and more about the meaning. Though of course we love our rings.

Personally, I think if you stuck with the $6K cap, you could wait till he buys the BMW and buy yourself a monster rock for the other hand! Best of both worlds if you ask me!

Also, I poked around a little on icestore.com and found several stones in the 1.25-1.40 carat, H-I color, VS2-SI1 range that were $5000-$5500, so what you're asking for isn't necessarily out of the price range anyway!

Here's an example of a 1.36 RB, I color, SI1 clarity, Excellent cut for $5,190: http://www.icestore.com/search/diamond_inventory_detail.asp?ID=7041
Tack on $675 for a platinum setting ( http://icestore.com/rings/ring_detail.asp?ID=4&nbsp

and you're still under the $6,000 mark.

Anyway, you're marrying the man, not the ring.

Em

 

[sturkiej]

Not attacking your character or anything, but I hope your guy doesn't have this much trouble pleasing you forever, you are really coming across as an *ss, he will get no thrill in life with buying you stuff or doing small romantic things, if you are never satisfied and continously like to involve the fact you could buy it yourself.

 

[Rook]

LOL, yes I do NEED a new light setup on my reef tank that will cost a pretty penny. I think I have my girl convinced it is a good idea too.

Well the only thing I disagree with is you are comparing apple to oranges. I realize that diamond rings do compare to rolex watchs and BMW's, but there is no love and affection behind a BMW. It is not a one time gift to show the love and affection he has for you. The BMW is just a car that has no real meaning to. The ring should have tremendous meaning to it, and I would hate to see that tainted.

It is ok to be materialistic, but maybe not with this.

By the way, he may be pulling your chain. I just about have my girl convinced she is getting a small crappy diamond, yet I am getting her something better than she would get herself.

 

[sizematters]

Em,

You're right about the prices. That's what I've been seeing as well. We are buying in a B&M store so prices are likely to be a little higher for the diamond. My setting costs between $1100-$1500 so that puts us at around $7000-$7500. I've tried to ask him to allow me to just pay for the setting (if that makes him feel better) and I think he might be coming around on that angle. Thanks for the good advice. You are right, I am marrying the man, and no matter what shows up in that little box, I'll be happy. But before then, I'll keep pushing for something a little bigger.

 

[fire&ice]

Sizematters, Are you saying that *indeed* he can afford more? Would he have no problem spending in excess of $6K on something for himself? Or is he a thrifty person in general? These are some important questions you must ask yourself. And live with the answers.

Have you gone ring shopping together to see what might look nice on your finger? My to be at the time had no idea that a 1/3 carat was pretty small looking on my finger. Self discovery is powerful.

Rook, I read your response. And, your such a man!

But, I see your point. My counterpoint is - good or bad - many women view the size of one's diamond (be it yours or someone else's) as a symbol a man's love & status. Some women like big diamonds and this is important to them. Recognizing something that is important to another over your own views is paramount. Keep in mind, I am not disagreeing with you - just presenting the female side of the story.

I'm with you, Rook, that diamonds aren't like a watch. An engagement ring transcends "normal" thought. Sizematters, perhaps you can explain to him how important this is to *YOU*. I'm still with everyone - don't pay for the ring. It will always be tainted. To tell you the truth, if one of my friends told me she paid for part of the ring, I wouldn't think to kindly of the union. I know I am not saying what you want to hear - sorry. Could there be some compromise where you pay one of his bills - so he can up the budget. Semantics, yes - but often things like this work in a partnership.

Also, I'm a tad confused as 6k should be enough to get a really good stone in the size you want. Could paying for the setting be negotiable. Guys, what do you think - you all seemed soooooo consumed by the stone & many of you let your to be pick out the setting. Does this mean you must pay for that as well. The setting she is thinking about is about 8-900.00. That could be substantial cutting into the diamond budget.

Stukegi (sp?) - this just may be something very important to size matters. It may not reflect her views in general.

Good luck.

 

[sizematters]

You are absolutely attacking my character and that's not necessary. It's ok though. You are wrong about my boyfriend not being able to please me. He's awesome and does lots of small things for me all the time and I do the same for him but that's not the point of why I posted.

 

[fire&ice]

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On 4/28/2003 4:12:22 PM sizematters wrote:

Em,

You're right about the prices. That's what I've been seeing as well. We are buying in a B&M store so prices are likely to be a little higher for the diamond. My setting costs between $1100-$1500 so that puts us at around $7000-$7500. I've tried to ask him to allow me to just pay for the setting (if that makes him feel better) and I think he might be coming around on that angle. Thanks for the good advice. You are right, I am marrying the man, and no matter what shows up in that little box, I'll be happy. But before then, I'll keep pushing for something a little bigger.

----------------

HERE IS THE SOLUTION - PERIOD - Your cake & eat it too. Buy off the net. You will be well within your budget. That setting you are looking is significantly less expensive elsewhere! Please give the internet a chance!!! I did - & I saved thousands & hubby thought I was the smartest person in the world! I *never* dreamed I would buy over the net. I ended up working w/ a trusted jeweler who bought off his net & marked it up a reasonable internet percentage.

I think this is the perfect solution - you will be accomodating to his budget, not paying for part of the ring & get the rock of your dreams.

 

[dimsummy]

Get What You Want:

You’re never going to bother him for a bigger diamond ring. (He’ll want that notarized.)
He’d buy it if he ‘really’ loved you.
It's what you want and you only do it once...why compromise?
It’ll be ‘your’ ring, not ‘his’ ring.

Get What He Wants:

Guys don’t like to be told that size matters (on anything).
You miss out on the greatest guilt-trip forever.
If you win on this, you already beat him and is this sign of things to come?!
It’ll be ‘his’ ring, not ‘your’ ring.
He’s already laying out 6Gs on you…about 6Gs more than some other lady.

Suggestions:

It should be ‘our’ ring. You can find a nice ring that you both like for 6Gs.

Or be sneaky. Shop first, find what you want and make a deal to pay off the difference before your boyfriend shows up to negotiate.

 

[fire&ice]

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On 4/28/2003 3:14:53 PM sizematters wrote:

Dancingirl,

My ring size is a 5. I've tried on a 1 ct and 1.5 ct and I like 1.5 a little better but I've downsized to a 1.3 knowing that it will look pretty much the same. I'm going with an x-prong style setting which sets the diamond a little lower and, to me, makes it look smaller than actual size.
----------------

As a general comment, I have said this before - the size of one's ring finger is less important than the length of one's fingers & size of hands. I have one friend that has a size 4.5 ring finger; but, she has very slender long fingers on larger hands. She could carry the weight.

 

[Rook]

"Rook, I read your response. And, your such a man! "

I don't know if this is a compliment or a cut down

I will assume the positive

I still would not think it would be good to chip in, but you could attempt to convince him that he wants to spend more. You know how you ladies convince guys into doing just about anything you want, and then convince us it was OUR idea. That would be fine, or I should say, normal

BTW, my original budget was $3000. I spent about $6800. I personlly was not happy with anything less. My girl would have spent less if she were to pick it out, without question.

You could lead him to Pricescope and the online vendors here. If he is a "researcher" like some of us guys are, he will get you the ring you want anyways. But, don't tell him what your username is, then you could give him advice, and he would not know it is you.

 

[fire&ice]

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On 4/28/2003 5:23

8 PM Rook wrote:

"Rook, I read your response. And, your such a man! "

I don't know if this is a compliment or a cut down

I will assume the positive

I still would not think it would be good to chip in, but you could attempt to convince him that he wants to spend more. You know how you ladies convince guys into doing just about anything you want, and then convince us it was OUR idea. ----------------

That would be ...yes, it's a compliment (albeit predicable) & yes, as an old married broad - *we* can convince you guys of anything. You are so easy!

 

[caratgirl]

Do what we did. I let him buy the diamond according to his budget, then I went 'custom ring' shopping - alone. I never did tell him how much that was! I do understand needing to be happy with the stone. See if you can work on him a bit, or take longer to shop online and find a 'better' SI1 clarity in a color you can be happy with.

 

[sizematters]

My boyfriend just told me tonight that he's put a 1.28 carat H color very good cut, clean SI1 on hold. I'm so happy and we've decided I will pay for the setting because the price of the diamond is right at what he is willing to pay. He's now at peace with our unconventional decision to purchase the e-ring together.

Thanks for all the replies. I'll have to post pics after I get the ring.