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Why update your ring/setting?

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Mr. Eric

Shiny_Rock
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Jul 26, 2007
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I keep seeing a lot of people here saying that they are going to ''update'' their rings/change the setting later on.? Why would you do this? The rings that special person gives you in the beginning aren''t they kind of a sacred thing? Don''t they mean something to you? If you keep updating rings then how do they remain special? That is like having everyone in your wedding dress up again 10 years down the road and have your wedding pics retaken. I don''t get it. If I new that my gf was going to ''update'' her ring down the road then I would not put anytime into picking out an nice e ring what would the point be if she is just going to change it later on? You got a confused guy here.
 
The wedding/marriage is the important thing. The rings are jewelry. While I do love my original rings, they are yellow gold which I just don''t wear anymore. I also didn''t love the cut or clarity of my original diamond. My husband is in a position now to get me nicer rings, so he did. One is my original set and the other is an anniversary set. Both are special..but they are stiil just jewelry. The marriage is what is important, and that has lasted over 30 years!
 
Hi Mr,.

I can only speak for myself, although my reason is probably the same for a lot of women. When I got engaged 26 years ago, we didn''t have much money. So, we got (I picked it out with him, he knew how picky I was) a VERY small stone. I wore it for 25 years, happily.

After all that time though, I wanted something bigger. I could carry it better now, we were financially in a better place, and frankly, I felt I deserved it.
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So, I bought a whole new set. My old one still sits in my jewelery box, and I take it out every so often and look at it as a reminder of where we started. It still has a special meaning to me. Just because I got a new set, it doesn''t change the vows we took.
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Financial situation and FASHION....a circa 1960 (like my mother 1st e-ring) is not so stunning in 2007. Just my 2 cents
 
Hey Mr E.

Can understand your confusion, but it is usually because guys just don''t get how a shiny piece of carbon can bring a girl so much pleasure. I like to compare it to the male need for gadgets. If your GF gave you a 20" TV because that is all you have the space for today, but 5years from now you have more space and more finalcial stabiilty, then before you know it, you are drooling over the 60" wall mount!!!! (With the amazing sound system!!)


Granted, alot of us still love our original sets, but also love our upgrades
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Date: 8/14/2007 1:26:24 AM
Author:Mr. Eric
If I new that my gf was going to ''update'' her ring down the road then I would not put anytime into picking out an nice e ring what would the point be if she is just going to change it later on?
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Um .. the above seems kind of punishing & tit-for-tat to me. Would you "put in any time" picking a CAR or a HOUSE that you may have for 5-10 years?? After all, you have to drive/live in it for a long time?

How ''bout you pick out something special for your girlfriend BECAUSE YOU WANT HER TO HAVE SOMETHING SPECIAL "NOW".... you want her to look at the ring & be pleased NOW ... or, crazy talk here -- discussing it with her & letting her pick out something SHE wants. That''s certainly some degree of insurence she''ll like it fashion-wise down the road. I''m sure she''ll love it SENTIMENT-WISE *forever*.
 
Fashion and styles change as does personal taste. I don''t think it''s a big deal to change an e-ring setting. I wouldn''t however change my wedding band as to me it''s very symbolic. But that''s just "my" choice.
 
I know of some guys out there that upgrade their WEDDING bands - once they get tired of their current one. To them it''s just a symbol to show they are married. It''s what the ring represents, not the ring itself. So if a girl likes a bit more bling after x years of marriage, why not, as long as she''s wearing it as a symbol of her marriage.
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I''m not religious tho, but I have heard the term "bless these rings" in a few ceremonies. Not sure if that matters more to some people??
 
Well, truthfully, it''s a bit of a skewed thing looking here on PS.
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In my case, it is my husband who is insisting on an upgrade for me, because he wishes he could have afforded a larger diamond 25 years ago. Fashion and tastes do change over time. There is also wear and tear issues. I think in general, most women probably don''t upgrade their original e-ring, except maybe for size of the diamond. But here on PS you are seeing people who are in a way diamond hobbyists, if that''s the correct term. People who just love jewellery, and can afford to upgrade, or had an upgrade plan in mind all along. My husband upgraded his w-band at our 15th anniversary, to a band with diamonds. I got a 5 stone anniversary band that I wear instead of my orignal set because it is comfortable and durable. So, I don''t know. It depends on the individual. I also think if you really get it "right" the first time, you FI is less likely to want to change anything. Just my opinion of course.
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Styles and personal taste. Even if they never wore out, would you want to wear the same shoes or glasses for 10, 20, 30, 40 or more years??!!
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I think comparing shoes, glasses, tv''s etc. is not a very fair comparison. There are no meaning in these things. It is interesting to hear all your opinions though. Thanks for sharing. I personally would never change my wedding band. I don''t care what the style is 20 years down the road. I love the fact that the band I will be wearing will be the same one my girl gave me on our wedding day, but we are all different.
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you choose a wonderful ring for her. honestly, it''s only on PS that I''ve seen anyone update their ring/setting. None of my real life friends have really given it any thought at all. My hubby is 8 years older than me and I do see some of his friends wives that have larger/newer rings and I think it''s just do to the fact that they are in a much better finacial postion and they or their hubby''s wanted to buy them larger rings. Most of those women still have their original wedding set though. Your gal may or may not want a new upgrade years from now, just don''t introduce her to Pricescope
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My mom updated hers to utilize stones from a pair of earrings she never wore, also she changed metals (which in hindsight was a mistake.)
I think she got bored of her set and figured turning her e-ring into a 3-stone was a way to combat shrinkage.

Personally I want to change my e-ring setting because I would like the stones to sit lower for practicality reasons, and I would like the setting to be re-done to better flatter the center stone and most selfishly I would like something w/ a little better quality of workmanship. DH wasn''t happy about this originally but now that we are expecting our 1st child and I explained I couldn''t wear such a high ring everyday while caring for a child he gets it.

While there is symbolism there- I''m keeping the same stones and he does want me to be happy w/ the ring.
 
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HA, mow that I think about it, I don''t know anyone personally that has changed their rings. I do see a lot of people getting rings for their 10 year ann.
 
Date: 8/14/2007 11:27:15 AM
Author: Mr. Eric
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HA, mow that I think about it, I don''t know anyone personally that has changed their rings. I do see a lot of people getting rings for their 10 year ann.
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I don''t know anyone either. Reading here on PS, it''s easy to get the false impression that everyone is upgrading, but, when I told my best friend I wanted to upgrade my ring, she looked a bit confused by the notion! lol She has an herloom ring, so I don''t think she''d ever want to replace that.
 
When we got married 30 years ago we couldn't even afford a diamond ring. I still have my original wedding band and will always keep it, but I have changed the ring that I wear as my wedding ring several times over the years. As Diamondseeker said that important thing is the marriage itself. The ring is merely a symbol. You may think when you are young and getting engaged that you will never want to change your ring, but who knows how you will feel about it years from now. Styles change, financial situations change, and the rings themselves go through a lot of wear and tear. Even my husband has upgraded his wedding ring!

Edited to add: And among my friends who are around my age (50's) there are more women than not who have upgraded their wedding set at some point.
 
Maybe I'm the minority, but I kinda agree with the original post. I put a lot of time and energy into picking out something for my fiancee that will be forever... something that looks beautiful and timeless, reflects both our styles, and that decades from now we will still look at fondly and be reminded of how things were when we started... and maybe even pass down to our grandchildren.

To me, diamonds are the ultimate physical symbol of timelessness. They're all millions of years old and are the most durable things on earth, so they'll be around for millions more. That's why diamonds are such a great symbol for lasting love. I'm giving her a diamond not just because it's pretty, but because it's a symbol of our love and it's supposed to be forever.

Getting it upgraded or replaced a few years later just seems pointless. Why go through all the trouble (and money!) of getting a diamond if she's expected to get tired of it and want a bigger one in 10 years?

Heck, I know a girl who's only had her ring a few months and is already looking for an upgrade. All that says to me is that she thinks the guy screwed up the first time.

I'm not saying my wife-to-be shouldn't have more later when we're better off and can look back on years of happy marriage. I'd be happy to get her something to celebrate that... but it should be something new. To me the original engagement ring has meaning and should stay.


Let me end my rant by saying I realize a lot of you see things differently. It's your relationship and your jewelry and I'm not judging. I'm just saying what feels right for mine.
 
Mrdisco, I could not have said it better myself. Well said!
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It doesn''t have to be replaced or bigger. Someday, perhaps something different is fine, especially as the years go by and the finances allow it.

Keeping the original and passing it on is what lots of couples decide to do.
 
Date: 8/14/2007 1:26:24 AM
Author:Mr. Eric
I keep seeing a lot of people here saying that they are going to ''update'' their rings/change the setting later on.? Why would you do this? The rings that special person gives you in the beginning aren''t they kind of a sacred thing? Don''t they mean something to you? If you keep updating rings then how do they remain special? That is like having everyone in your wedding dress up again 10 years down the road and have your wedding pics retaken. I don''t get it. If I new that my gf was going to ''update'' her ring down the road then I would not put anytime into picking out an nice e ring what would the point be if she is just going to change it later on? You got a confused guy here.
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I heartily agree. This upgrade/update thing is ridiculous. Waste no time on it. Just hop on over to a Pricescope vendor of your choice and get her a timeless classic 5ct F VVS1 Ideal RB in platinum right now. THAT oughta hold her for a while. >;D
 
One of these days I will probably "update" my e-ring to match my wedding band better. The stock solitaire setting our jeweler put my diamond in just isn''t the "perfect" setting for me, and DH has known this for a long time. He wanted to surprise me with the e-ring, and all he asked me was to provide him with my stone shape preference and whether I wanted sidestones or for his whole budget to go into the center stone. I told him I would like a RB, no sidestones, and that''s what he got. We both agreed when we found my wedding band that someday I would have my e-ring remade to match my wedding band.

I don''t know anyone irl who''s upgraded or had their rings remade yet. Most of our friends and acquaintances outside of work have less than 10 years of marriage under their belts, though, and I''m betting 10 years from now we will start seeing upgrades and remakes.
 
I decided I wanted to chime in on this one as I''m in the "upgrade" boat myself - at least upgrading my setting. When my husband and I got engaged, the stone was the serious focal point of the whole trip to the jeweler. I knew exactly what I wanted in a stone, but didn''t think too much about a setting. I wanted a simple, "tiffany" style ring (little did I know then how many things that could actually mean!
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). We spent LOADS of time looking for the perfect stone so that he would have the right criteria, and only 10 minutes glancing over settings. He bought the ring while I was out of town and had it put in a setting he recalled me saying was nice. Now, I liked the setting, but I also didn''t spend a lot of time looking. Additionally, over the 3 years we were engaged, my ring size changed, I needed a new crown at a certain point and some of the craftsmanship I received over that time was VERY lackluster. So, my setting did not really look as nice as it did originally. I became somewhat "unattached" to it and truly saw the diamond as the piece that meant more to me since we spent so much time on that aspect.

My husband really only cares that I never trade up the diamond - and I won''t because that''s the piece he''s most attached to and spent so much time picking out the "perfect" diamond.

Everyone''s situation is different and each couple has their own meaning attached to the jewelry we exchange along with our vows.
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Date: 8/14/2007 11:56:58 AM
Author: mrdisco99
Maybe I''m the minority, but I kinda agree with the original post. I put a lot of time and energy into picking out something for my fiancee that will be forever... something that looks beautiful and timeless, reflects both our styles, and that decades from now we will still look at fondly and be reminded of how things were when we started... and maybe even pass down to our grandchildren.


To me, diamonds are the ultimate physical symbol of timelessness. They''re all millions of years old and are the most durable things on earth, so they''ll be around for millions more. That''s why diamonds are such a great symbol for lasting love. I''m giving her a diamond not just because it''s pretty, but because it''s a symbol of our love and it''s supposed to be forever.


Getting it upgraded or replaced a few years later just seems pointless. Why go through all the trouble (and money!) of getting a diamond if she''s expected to get tired of it and want a bigger one in 10 years?


Heck, I know a girl who''s only had her ring a few months and is already looking for an upgrade. All that says to me is that she thinks the guy screwed up the first time.


I''m not saying my wife-to-be shouldn''t have more later when we''re better off and can look back on years of happy marriage. I''d be happy to get her something to celebrate that... but it should be something new. To me the original engagement ring has meaning and should stay.



Let me end my rant by saying I realize a lot of you see things differently. It''s your relationship and your jewelry and I''m not judging. I''m just saying what feels right for mine.
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For what it''s worth, I''m a woman who''s doing 99.9999999% of the shopping for my engagement ring by myself, and will probably pay for half or more of it when the time comes because of where my man and I are financially right now, and I share your point of view. The reason I''ve done so much research over the years and why I''m willing to help pay for it is because the sentiment as well as the quality of it is very important to me. I''m going to wear it for the rest of my life, it symbolizes the moment we promised to each other that we''d spend our lives together, and I can''t imagine ever wanting to change that.

The little promise ring I have now has some pretty low-quality diamonds in it, I know (it was only $140; what did I expect?), but it stays on my finger constantly because of what it means to me. The engagement ring is going to be the same, only more important and meaningful. I will purposefully pick out a classic setting and the best-quality stone we can afford because once it''s on my finger, it''s almost never coming off (except to keep it nice and clean
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).

Now, this should not dissuade my future hubby from buying me *other* beautiful diamond trinkets, but I honestly can''t ever see myself changing my engagement ring or wedding band. I''m just a big ol'' sentimental sop, I guess.
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Mr. Eric,

I totally agree with Mrs. Salvo.

I never heard of updating wedding rings or stones, until I joined Pricescope. None of my real-life friends do. On the other hand, they do receive beautiful anniversary rings, myself included.

I also giggled at what Mrs. S said. Just don''t introduce your girlfriend to Pricescope LOL LOL LOL.
 
Not only to styles change over time, but settings also degrade over time. Eventually prongs break and gold disintegrates and the setting needs to be replaced. Gold degrades faster than platinum, but both still take decades. Settings degrade more quickly if you are working with fabric, garden with your rings on, lift weights with your rings on, swim in chlorinated pools, etc.
 
I can't help but notice it's the men that have a problem with this. I see nothing wrong with upgrading & I have friends that have upgraded or are about to upgrade their diamond. It's not unheard of outside Pricescope. Some people aren't in the position early on to afford what they know their partner would really like. So, whats the problem with upgrading once your financially able to? If I win the lottery tomorrow I can promise I will not still be wearing my 1 ct. ring on my finger. It will be a 3 ct. honker of a ring. I also know that my husband would trade in his modest toyota for a Ferrari! Diamonds are whats important to me & cars are whats important to him but we both know we love each other & thats whats important.
 
Count me as one of the potential upgraders. We bought what we could afford, actually I went under budget because I thought that the sentiment was more important than what I really truly wanted. In hind site I should have really put more effort into finding what I want and staying in budget rather than wanting to look good and going under budget. Also, I thought that what he wanted was important so I compromised on some major style aspects of my ring. He did no such thing for his engagement ring, which I''m not overly fond of but I don''t wear it so I ultimately don''t care.

My prongs are worn down and to replace them I''d likely need a new setting - the setting is also visibly screwed up. If and when this happens I''ll likely pick a new style of setting as my stone recently chipped on the girdle and I now want to protect it. And really, if I''m investing in a new setting (since my setting would easily be worth more than my stone at that point) I might as well get a new one of both.

That said, if he''s opposed to this, I''ll agree to pack the ring into a box and not wear it as wear it with it''s current prongs will soon be dangerous.
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Also, both of our wedding bands are not sizeable. So if we out grow those it''s a case of:
a - not wearing any
b - replacing them...and not necessary with the same design if we were to like something different at the time
 
I still don''t see the comparison between cars, tv''s shoes, etc. to an ering. A car or tv has no meaning at all. It''s like comparing apples to oranges in my opinion. That is somewhat my point. I think people are losing site on what marrage/rings mean. Of course the fact that the divorce rate is over 50% maybe an indication that people care more about huge diamonds than the actual marriage.
 
Startdust you have a valid reason for an upgrade. I think the fact that your ring is about to fall apart is a good reason to get a new setting!
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