why so sensitive? a few of you said...

[Tacori E-ring]

Date: 2/6/2009 11:56:32 AM
Author: TravelingGal
Jas hasn''t posted since her post on ATW. I hope Jas and Mrs. Mitchell come back - they are always so sweet and funny and of course I would miss their adorable ones. (There''s room for more than one Amelia on PS, MrsM!)

I miss them too!

 

[VRBeauty]

Date: 2/6/2009 9:26:12 AM
Author: fieryred33143
We are not just people on an internet forum. We're a community. And just like in any community, when one person does something that offends you, your feelings are going to get hurt.


If your feelings don't get hurt, its not because its 'just the internet' its because you're a little bit more tough-skinned than others.

Ditto. And I suspect the fact that many of us think of this as a community also helps us self-police and think through what we post before hitting that "submit" button.

DF, I'm not suggesting for a moment that you hide behind the anonymity of the internet in your posts -- I can't think of online "clobbering" you've done in this forum, anyway -- but I think the "it's just the internet" attitude is what gets in the way of useful discussion on so many other forums. Just look at the venom, prejudice, and hatred evident in many of the online responses to many Sacbee stories. Many of the "flaming" responses I've seen here were posted by newbies. It also seems that some of them don't hang around long -- maybe they're off to another a more "wild, wild west"-style forum?

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 2/6/2009 12:47:33 PM
Author: VRBeauty

Date: 2/6/2009 9:26:12 AM
Author: fieryred33143
We are not just people on an internet forum. We''re a community. And just like in any community, when one person does something that offends you, your feelings are going to get hurt.


If your feelings don''t get hurt, its not because its ''just the internet'' its because you''re a little bit more tough-skinned than others.

Ditto. And I suspect the fact that many of us think of this as a community also helps us self-police and think through what we post before hitting that ''submit'' button.

DF, I''m not suggesting for a moment that you hide behind the anonymity of the internet in your posts -- I can''t think of online ''clobbering'' you''ve done in this forum, anyway -- but I think the ''it''s just the internet'' attitude is what gets in the way of useful discussion on so many other forums. Just look at the venom, prejudice, and hatred evident in many of the online responses to many Sacbee stories. Many of the ''flaming'' responses I''ve seen here were posted by newbies. It also seems that some of them don''t hang around long -- maybe they''re off to another a more ''wild, wild west''-style forum?

Ha! DF''s full moniker should be Dancing Fires and Ducks!

 

[Burk]

Date: 2/6/2009 12:39:33 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring

Date: 2/6/2009 11:56:32 AM

Author: TravelingGal

Jas hasn''t posted since her post on ATW. I hope Jas and Mrs. Mitchell come back - they are always so sweet and funny and of course I would miss their adorable ones. (There''s room for more than one Amelia on PS, MrsM!)

I miss them too!

Me too!!

 

[VRBeauty]

Date: 2/6/2009 12:50:24 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Ha! DF's full moniker should be Dancing Fires and Ducks!

True, that! I should have said that DF doesn't hide behind the anonymity of the internet to clobber other posters -- unless you count the club of endless questions!

 

[Ellen]

Date: 2/6/2009 12:50:24 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 2/6/2009 12:47:33 PM
Author: VRBeauty

Date: 2/6/2009 9:26:12 AM
Author: fieryred33143
We are not just people on an internet forum. We''re a community. And just like in any community, when one person does something that offends you, your feelings are going to get hurt.


If your feelings don''t get hurt, its not because its ''just the internet'' its because you''re a little bit more tough-skinned than others.

Ditto. And I suspect the fact that many of us think of this as a community also helps us self-police and think through what we post before hitting that ''submit'' button.

DF, I''m not suggesting for a moment that you hide behind the anonymity of the internet in your posts -- I can''t think of online ''clobbering'' you''ve done in this forum, anyway -- but I think the ''it''s just the internet'' attitude is what gets in the way of useful discussion on so many other forums. Just look at the venom, prejudice, and hatred evident in many of the online responses to many Sacbee stories. Many of the ''flaming'' responses I''ve seen here were posted by newbies. It also seems that some of them don''t hang around long -- maybe they''re off to another a more ''wild, wild west''-style forum?

Ha! DF''s full moniker should be Dancing Fires and Ducks!

 

[Linda W]

Date: 2/6/2009 12:56:24 PM
Author: Ellen

Date: 2/6/2009 12:50:24 PM

Author: TravelingGal

Date: 2/6/2009 12:47:33 PM

Author: VRBeauty

Date: 2/6/2009 9:26:12 AM

Author: fieryred33143

We are not just people on an internet forum. We''re a community. And just like in any community, when one person does something that offends you, your feelings are going to get hurt.



If your feelings don''t get hurt, its not because its ''just the internet'' its because you''re a little bit more tough-skinned than others.

Ditto. And I suspect the fact that many of us think of this as a community also helps us self-police and think through what we post before hitting that ''submit'' button.


DF, I''m not suggesting for a moment that you hide behind the anonymity of the internet in your posts -- I can''t think of online ''clobbering'' you''ve done in this forum, anyway -- but I think the ''it''s just the internet'' attitude is what gets in the way of useful discussion on so many other forums. Just look at the venom, prejudice, and hatred evident in many of the online responses to many Sacbee stories. Many of the ''flaming'' responses I''ve seen here were posted by newbies. It also seems that some of them don''t hang around long -- maybe they''re off to another a more ''wild, wild west''-style forum?

Ha! DF''s full moniker should be Dancing Fires and Ducks!

ha ha ha, me loves Dancing Fire

 

[AmberGretchen]

I personally get really uncomfortable when comments get personal and/or insulting. Its not only against the forum rules, but it can be truly hurtful. I'm a firm believer that on the internet, as everywhere else, 95% of the time, if you don't have anything nice to say, keep your mouth shut (or your fingers off the keyboard!).

If you really, strongly disagree with something and feel the need to speak out (I've certainly been there), make it clear you are disagreeing with the opinion/action/content of the post, not personally attacking the person in question.

I think its really a shame that we've lost some nice, pleasant posters, even if just for a temporary period - they all enrich our community here and contribute.

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 2/6/2009 1:19:47 PM
Author: AmberGretchen
I personally get really uncomfortable when comments get personal and/or insulting. Its not only against the forum rules, but it can be truly hurtful. I''m a firm believer that on the internet, as everywhere else, 95% of the time, if you don''t have anything nice to say, keep your mouth shut (or your fingers off the keyboard!).

If you really, strongly disagree with something and feel the need to speak out (I''ve certainly been there), make it clear you are disagreeing with the opinion/action/content of the post, not personally attacking the person in question.

I think its really a shame that we''ve lost some nice, pleasant posters, even if just for a temporary period - they all enrich our community here and contribute.

I agree.

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 2/6/2009 12:54:31 PM
Author: Burk

Date: 2/6/2009 12:39:33 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring

Date: 2/6/2009 11:56:32 AM

Author: TravelingGal

Jas hasn''t posted since her post on ATW. I hope Jas and Mrs. Mitchell come back - they are always so sweet and funny and of course I would miss their adorable ones. (There''s room for more than one Amelia on PS, MrsM!)

I miss them too!

Me too!!

Are you talking about Jas12? She''s on the preggo thread.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 2/6/2009 1:26:31 PM
Author: fieryred33143

Date: 2/6/2009 12:54:31 PM
Author: Burk

Date: 2/6/2009 12:39:33 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring

Date: 2/6/2009 11:56:32 AM

Author: TravelingGal

Jas hasn''t posted since her post on ATW. I hope Jas and Mrs. Mitchell come back - they are always so sweet and funny and of course I would miss their adorable ones. (There''s room for more than one Amelia on PS, MrsM!)

I miss them too!

Me too!!

Are you talking about Jas12? She''s on the preggo thread.

No, just Jas. (although some of us call her Jackie)

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 2/6/2009 1:31:52 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 2/6/2009 1:26:31 PM
Author: fieryred33143

Date: 2/6/2009 12:54:31 PM
Author: Burk

Date: 2/6/2009 12:39:33 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring

Date: 2/6/2009 11:56:32 AM

Author: TravelingGal

Jas hasn''t posted since her post on ATW. I hope Jas and Mrs. Mitchell come back - they are always so sweet and funny and of course I would miss their adorable ones. (There''s room for more than one Amelia on PS, MrsM!)

I miss them too!

Me too!!

Are you talking about Jas12? She''s on the preggo thread.

No, just Jas. (although some of us call her Jackie)

Oh!
I was confused for a second. I thought ''but she''s on the PS Mommies thread with you all the time T-gal''. LOL

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 2/6/2009 8:12:55 AM
Author: Chrono
There's been some hurt feelings for Mrs. Mitchell on the DBL thread on RT and also Beau in the Hangout so they are taking a brief haitus from posting.

DF, ladies are different than men. Men don't seem to take things as personally as women. They are able to shrug comments off but it stews and festers with women.

didn't understand why Mrs. M's feeling were hurt just b/c a few posters had made some negative comments about DBL.

as for Beau,well...she's a different animal

but i love reading her post.

hope they return soon.

 

[Diamond*Dana]

That is too bad that there have been hurt feelings...hopefully they will be back on soon.

 

[chrono]

I was surprised to read about Mrs. M''s feelings being hurt because no comment was made on HER purchases but I guess it still sort of reflects back to it somehow. I must say that Beau sure has some strongly held views!

 

[AprilBaby]

If things start getting ugly I just start skipping those posts so I don''t get my panties all tied up in knots.

 

[Allisonfaye]

Date: 2/6/2009 11:40:48 AM
Author: somethingshiny
Firstly, I''m sorry those ladies felt so insulted that they couldn''t stay. I do hope each of them comes back when she''s ready.

As far as the OP, I''ve been hit pretty hard around here (some people seem to think I beat puppies with kittens or something) but, even though I feel offended, insulted, etc I don''t leave. For me, there''s no reason to leave if you haven''t done anything wrong. (I''m not saying that the ladies who''ve taken hiatus have done wrongly, I don''t know about any of those threads). IRL, I''m pretty thick skinned, so maybe that just transfers online too. I don''t stop talking to people IRL if they upset me and I behave much the same way online. I don''t advocate becoming a different person just because your words are written instead of spoken.

Maybe the ladies who''ve left have enough other stuff going on and they just don''t have the energy to keep ''fighting'' here.

This is what I do. I stay around but I just don''t post any more. I just don''t want to be attacked and have every word I say parsed. I have typed out many replies and then just hit the delete button. Not worth it.

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 2/6/2009 1:31:52 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 2/6/2009 1:26:31 PM
Author: fieryred33143

Date: 2/6/2009 12:54:31 PM
Author: Burk

Date: 2/6/2009 12:39:33 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring

Date: 2/6/2009 11:56:32 AM

Author: TravelingGal

Jas hasn''t posted since her post on ATW. I hope Jas and Mrs. Mitchell come back - they are always so sweet and funny and of course I would miss their adorable ones. (There''s room for more than one Amelia on PS, MrsM!)

I miss them too!

Me too!!

Are you talking about Jas12? She''s on the preggo thread.

No, just Jas. (although some of us call her Jackie)

Oh no, she is gone?!?!?!

Jas, we love you please come back!!!!!!!!

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 2/6/2009 4:11:41 PM
Author: Skippy123

Date: 2/6/2009 1:31:52 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 2/6/2009 1:26:31 PM
Author: fieryred33143

Date: 2/6/2009 12:54:31 PM
Author: Burk

Date: 2/6/2009 12:39:33 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring

Date: 2/6/2009 11:56:32 AM

Author: TravelingGal

Jas hasn''t posted since her post on ATW. I hope Jas and Mrs. Mitchell come back - they are always so sweet and funny and of course I would miss their adorable ones. (There''s room for more than one Amelia on PS, MrsM!)

I miss them too!

Me too!!

Are you talking about Jas12? She''s on the preggo thread.

No, just Jas. (although some of us call her Jackie)

Oh no, she is gone?!?!?!

Jas, we love you please come back!!!!!!!!

Oh no!!!!

I hope you come back Jas!!!!

 

[ChargerGrrl]

Date: 2/6/2009 4:04:21 PM
Author: Allisonfaye


This is what I do. I stay around but I just don''t post any more. I just don''t want to be attacked and have every word I say parsed. I have typed out many replies and then just hit the delete button. Not worth it.

I do this too. I prefer not to add to any drama, as it''s just not worth it. That probably makes me a uninteresting poster. Oh well...

 

[Steel]

I mentioned recently that I had felt ''attacked'' on PS in the past. Why did I allow it to get to me; I don''t know. Should I have brushed it off; yes I should. Did I; no.

I come here for fun - it is not fun if I feel that somebody is trying to force their belief/opinion on me. I really like to read the differing POV here but I would hope to never labour my opinion on another poster. I also think that if I feel a certain way, that is my call. Unless I ask asking ''should I feel this way'' I should not be challenged on that feeling/POV.

Do you remember the recent thread which considered if posters would tell a newbie posting their ring for the first time should be told ''honestly'' what you think about it? The consensus what that if they asked for an honest opinion and posted in Rocky Talky then give an honest view, if the thread was posted in show me the ring and the OP only asks - ''what do you think'' then just be polite.

Regular posters deserve the same tact. We will never agree on everything, post your view and move on.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Date: 2/6/2009 5:11:51 PM
Author: Steel
Regular posters deserve the same tact. We will never agree on everything, post your view and move on.

Ditto. The problem of course comes when a person''s "view" is not in fact their view on a topic..it''s their view of that poster or what that poster said or how that poster must be.

So frustrating.

 

[musey]

Date: 2/6/2009 8:12:55 AM
Author: Chrono
There''s been some hurt feelings for Mrs. Mitchell on the DBL thread on RT and also Beau in the Hangout so they are taking a brief haitus from posting.

I saw the DBL thread but not the one in hangout... I thought it was strange that beau seemingly "left" over the Jazz thread, but it sounds like there was something else happening that I missed.

I do agree with the whole "it''s not just the internet" thing, because I think it''s dangerous to treat other people in online communities as meaningless pieces of the internet void. That''s where the hurt feelings tend to come from, in the first place.

I hope that Mrs Mitchell doesn''t stay away too long, but I guess I couldn''t blame anyone for choosing to remove themselves if they feel that the climate here is inhospitable.

 

[musey]

Date: 2/6/2009 5:11:51 PM
Author: Steel
I mentioned recently that I had felt ''attacked'' on PS in the past. Why did I allow it to get to me; I don''t know. Should I have brushed it off; yes I should. Did I; no.

I come here for fun - it is not fun if I feel that somebody is trying to force their belief/opinion on me. I really like to read the differing POV here but I would hope to never labour my opinion on another poster. I also think that if I feel a certain way, that is my call. Unless I ask asking ''should I feel this way'' I should not be challenged on that feeling/POV.

This really spoke to me. I''ve found myself feeling attacked/judged for a shared viewpoint many a time, but I suppose my most logical response should be to stop sharing. I likely bring it upon myself because I like to explain not only what I think, but why I think what I do. It''s much more harmless to have a disagreement over an end point of a thought process, but once people disagree with my thought process itself, that''s when it gets awkward/uncomfortable.

So I think that that should be the moral of my PS story: be limited and concise with responses, and give no explanation of your ideas other than the end point idea in and of itself

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 2/6/2009 8:32:14 AM
Author: tlh
DF,
Even though it is just an internet and we may never meet these people in real life, it doesn''t make mean comments any easier to take. A comment I made had even been misunderstood once, and I felt awful! It was like, i wish my voice could be heard because sometimes there is more BEHIND a word than can be interpretted on a computer screen. As women we sometimes put our own background, and beliefs, and may put a meaning that wasn''t ever inteded by the posts creater. That can happen, and well... there is always PMS.

This is very true. It''s hard to convey what you really mean sometimes when you can''t get your tone across.

PS is only forum I participate in, and I love chatting with others and getting to know them. I stay away from posting in heated threads, although I do read them occasionally. I like to know what''s going on, even if I don''t post.

I know a few people who have taken a break from PS because of some drama here and there but I hope they come back.

 

[E B]

I hope both jas and Mrs Mitchell return soon. If you're reading, ladies, we miss you!

Date: 2/6/2009 6:01:58 PM
Author: musey

I saw the DBL thread but not the one in hangout... I thought it was strange that beau seemingly 'left' over the Jazz thread, but it sounds like there was something else happening that I missed.

Oh, there was...

 

[October2008bride]

Date: 2/6/2009 6:18:02 PM
Author: ZoeBartlett

Date: 2/6/2009 8:32:14 AM

Author: tlh

DF,

Even though it is just an internet and we may never meet these people in real life, it doesn''t make mean comments any easier to take. A comment I made had even been misunderstood once, and I felt awful! It was like, i wish my voice could be heard because sometimes there is more BEHIND a word than can be interpretted on a computer screen. As women we sometimes put our own background, and beliefs, and may put a meaning that wasn''t ever inteded by the posts creater. That can happen, and well... there is always PMS.

This is very true. It''s hard to convey what you really mean sometimes when you can''t get your tone across.


PS is only forum I participate in, and I love chatting with others and getting to know them. I stay away from posting in heated threads, although I do read them occasionally. I like to know what''s going on, even if I don''t post.


I know a few people who have taken a break from PS because of some drama here and there but I hope they come back.

I''m pretty similar - I am definitely sensitive so I try to make sure I''m not in a position where my feelings will get hurt. I do sometimes think twice about posting and if I''m worried, I just choose not to. For me, it is about knowing my limits and I am the type who would get hurt so I just protect myself.

I also agree about how things sound when you read them versus hear them. That is why I usually use a lot of !!!! and in my messages just to make sure people know I am smiling/laughing/winking when I am writing it!!! haha

 

[musey]

Date: 2/6/2009 6:25:05 PM
Author: EBree

Date: 2/6/2009 6:01:58 PM
Author: musey
I saw the DBL thread but not the one in hangout... I thought it was strange that beau seemingly 'left' over the Jazz thread, but it sounds like there was something else happening that I missed.

Oh, there was...

Yikes! I completely missed that, I guess. I assume it's a thread that's no longer in existence?

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 2/6/2009 6:25:05 PM
Author: EBree
I hope both jas and Mrs Mitchell return soon. If you''re reading, ladies, we miss you!

Date: 2/6/2009 6:01:58 PM
Author: musey

I saw the DBL thread but not the one in hangout... I thought it was strange that beau seemingly ''left'' over the Jazz thread, but it sounds like there was something else happening that I missed.

Oh, there was...

How did I miss that! It must have been deleted, now I want to see... man I am nosey

 

[musey]

I am always curious too, dreamer