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why so sensitive? a few of you said...
- Thread starter Dancing Fire
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AdiS
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bee*
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There''s been some hurt feelings for Mrs. Mitchell on the DBL thread on RT and also Beau in the Hangout so they are taking a brief haitus from posting.
DF, ladies are different than men. Men don''t seem to take things as personally as women. They are able to shrug comments off but it stews and festers with women.
DF, ladies are different than men. Men don''t seem to take things as personally as women. They are able to shrug comments off but it stews and festers with women.
bee*
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Date: 2/6/2009 8:12:55 AM
Author: Chrono
There''s been some hurt feelings for Mrs. Mitchell on the DBL thread on RT and also Beau in the Hangout so they are taking a brief haitus from posting.
DF, ladies are different than men. Men don''t seem to take things as personally as women. They are able to shrug comments off but it stews and festers with women.
Thanks for filling me in Chrono! I hope that they won''t be gone too long.
AdiS
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tlh
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DF,
Even though it is just an internet and we may never meet these people in real life, it doesn''t make mean comments any easier to take. A comment I made had even been misunderstood once, and I felt awful! It was like, i wish my voice could be heard because sometimes there is more BEHIND a word than can be interpretted on a computer screen. As women we sometimes put our own background, and beliefs, and may put a meaning that wasn''t ever inteded by the posts creater. That can happen, and well... there is always PMS.
Even though it is just an internet and we may never meet these people in real life, it doesn''t make mean comments any easier to take. A comment I made had even been misunderstood once, and I felt awful! It was like, i wish my voice could be heard because sometimes there is more BEHIND a word than can be interpretted on a computer screen. As women we sometimes put our own background, and beliefs, and may put a meaning that wasn''t ever inteded by the posts creater. That can happen, and well... there is always PMS.
Ellen
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Exactly. I hate it when people say, "it''s just the internet". Doesn''t matter, we are still speaking to each other, our words just aren''t coming out of our mouth, so to speak. Hurtful words are hurtful words, whether they are spoken, or typed.
And I hope Mrs. Mitchell comes back soon too. She is a lovely person.
Deelight
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fieryred33143
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We are not just people on an internet forum. We''re a community. And just like in any community, when one person does something that offends you, your feelings are going to get hurt.
If your feelings don''t get hurt, its not because its "just the internet" its because you''re a little bit more tough-skinned than others.
If your feelings don''t get hurt, its not because its "just the internet" its because you''re a little bit more tough-skinned than others.
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Miscka
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Some people continually threaten to leave, and never actually go anywhere. They just want attention
But ITA that even though it is "just the internet" that does not mean we are immune to our feelings if someone says something hurtful.
I really hope Mrs Mitchell comes back, that thread made me sad.
But ITA that even though it is "just the internet" that does not mean we are immune to our feelings if someone says something hurtful.
I really hope Mrs Mitchell comes back, that thread made me sad.
VegasAngel
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Well, I ''ve been on both ends in different forums. I''m not going to stop posting.Date: 2/6/2009 4:06:48 AM
Author:Dancing Fire
other member''s post had hurt your feelings thus you will stop posting on PS. why let people on a internet forum bother you?i got beaten up many times here
but kept on fighting
purrfectpear
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If it''s true that "Men don''t seem to take things as personally as women. They are able to shrug comments off but it stews and festers with women." then no wonder we are not treated equally in the workplace.
Who would want to hire someone who thinks they have been attacked because their favorite store has had unfavorable opinions posted about them?
Seriously, are we comfortable being painted as being that sensitive?
Who would want to hire someone who thinks they have been attacked because their favorite store has had unfavorable opinions posted about them?
Seriously, are we comfortable being painted as being that sensitive?
coatimundi_org
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Everyone is different. Generally speaking, is there any doubt that women are more sensitive than men? Certainly, there are different degrees of sensitivity. I, for one, am highly sensitive. But, I don''t think the fact that some women are highly sensitive has any bearing on how all women are perceived or treated in the workplace.Date: 2/6/2009 10:08:42 AM
Author: purrfectpear
If it''s true that ''Men don''t seem to take things as personally as women. They are able to shrug comments off but it stews and festers with women.'' then no wonder we are not treated equally in the workplace.
Who would want to hire someone who thinks they have been attacked because their favorite store has had unfavorable opinions posted about them?
Seriously, are we comfortable being painted as being that sensitive?
Regular Guy
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Kaleigh
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risingsun
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Since I having been spending more time in ATW, I've considered ordering a suit of armor. The gloves are off over there and you need to have--or purchase--a thick skin
There are some posters, IMO, who use "honesty"as an excuse to be a bully. I can understand that feelings get hurt. Most people on PS are lovely and kind. It's the few mean-spirited folks who could dial it back a few notches and stop making excuses for their behavior
decodelighted
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Skippy123
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risingsun
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Linda W
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somethingshiny
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Firstly, I''m sorry those ladies felt so insulted that they couldn''t stay. I do hope each of them comes back when she''s ready.
As far as the OP, I''ve been hit pretty hard around here (some people seem to think I beat puppies with kittens or something) but, even though I feel offended, insulted, etc I don''t leave. For me, there''s no reason to leave if you haven''t done anything wrong. (I''m not saying that the ladies who''ve taken hiatus have done wrongly, I don''t know about any of those threads). IRL, I''m pretty thick skinned, so maybe that just transfers online too. I don''t stop talking to people IRL if they upset me and I behave much the same way online. I don''t advocate becoming a different person just because your words are written instead of spoken.
Maybe the ladies who''ve left have enough other stuff going on and they just don''t have the energy to keep "fighting" here.
As far as the OP, I''ve been hit pretty hard around here (some people seem to think I beat puppies with kittens or something) but, even though I feel offended, insulted, etc I don''t leave. For me, there''s no reason to leave if you haven''t done anything wrong. (I''m not saying that the ladies who''ve taken hiatus have done wrongly, I don''t know about any of those threads). IRL, I''m pretty thick skinned, so maybe that just transfers online too. I don''t stop talking to people IRL if they upset me and I behave much the same way online. I don''t advocate becoming a different person just because your words are written instead of spoken.
Maybe the ladies who''ve left have enough other stuff going on and they just don''t have the energy to keep "fighting" here.
TravelingGal
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Jas hasn''t posted since her post on ATW. I hope Jas and Mrs. Mitchell come back - they are always so sweet and funny and of course I would miss their adorable ones. (There''s room for more than one Amelia on PS, MrsM!)
Although I can say, I personally don''t care for "Well, I don''t need this, F. U., and I''m leaving!" Which is not to be confused with a more "quiet" exit of "Maybe PS is not the place for me right now and I think a break would be best."
But if people want to leave, why even make a fuss. Just quietly give yourself a break. What''s even funnier is when people threaten to leave, then keep lurking because we all know PS is addicting, and then make more posts saying, "Well, I am going to say this one last thing!" Geez, leave or stay, make up your mind already.
Some people, when they say they want to leave, I say fine, good riddance. Don''t let the door slam you in the a** on the way out.
Although I can say, I personally don''t care for "Well, I don''t need this, F. U., and I''m leaving!" Which is not to be confused with a more "quiet" exit of "Maybe PS is not the place for me right now and I think a break would be best."
But if people want to leave, why even make a fuss. Just quietly give yourself a break. What''s even funnier is when people threaten to leave, then keep lurking because we all know PS is addicting, and then make more posts saying, "Well, I am going to say this one last thing!" Geez, leave or stay, make up your mind already.
Some people, when they say they want to leave, I say fine, good riddance. Don''t let the door slam you in the a** on the way out.
MonkeyPie
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Ditto. If you say you''re leaving, then all you''re asking for is attention. "Nooooo, don''t go!" That''s silly. If you TRULY need a break, take it, and come back when your skin is thicker. I have left two forums because people were excessively cruel to me (as in, searching the internet for anything I have EVER written and then throwing it in my face when I happen to change my mind about whatever I said), but this forum doesn''t get nearly as mean, because the mods control it.
MichelleCarmen
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Clearly from my freaking out session last week (or was it the week before?), I'm more sensitive and I do agree with Risingsun that people use the internet and lack of visual contact as an exuse to bully people and personally, it bothers me. If you spend a few hours *a month* posting on any internet forum, it's a lot easier to brush off than if you spend a few hours *a day*.
Oh and like Monkey Pie, someone spent hours searching for stuff I posted on another forum and used that against me. Pathetic.
Aside from my recent posts, I've never stated that I'd leave a forum. Not on any forum I've ever been a part of, but like I said, I've been here six years. The only other place I've posted on for a number of years is makeupalley. lol
Oh and like Monkey Pie, someone spent hours searching for stuff I posted on another forum and used that against me. Pathetic.
Aside from my recent posts, I've never stated that I'd leave a forum. Not on any forum I've ever been a part of, but like I said, I've been here six years. The only other place I've posted on for a number of years is makeupalley. lol
Dreamer_D
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In case anyone is wondering, men and women are actually equally sensitive to rejection--that's what this type of thing is all about at its core, feeling devalued by others. The difference between the sexes is not a matter of degree, but a matter of kind. Women *tend* to respond to hurt feelings with tears or expressions of hurt feelings. Men *tend* to respond by fighting back and being defensive. Same thing, just different clothing.
And to add the necessary caveat: in general, generalizations about any group are always wrong.
And to add the necessary caveat: in general, generalizations about any group are always wrong.
Ellen
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