Why does everyone seem appalled...

[alli_esq]

...at gold shoes for my wedding? it is hilarious to me how opposed people are to this concept. I have my reasons (for those who are interested: 1. I'm afraid white will make my dress look dingy in comparison to my shoes; 2. ivory would make my shoes look dingy in comparison to my dress; 3. I want designer shoes for my wedding, to feel special and comfortable; 4. I want to wear them again, and I LOVE gold shoes and I'm sure I'd wear the heck out of 'em), but people don't want to hear it!

[Ones I'm thinking about (haven't been sold on it yet, though--I'd prefer a regular pump instead of a slingback) are attached.]

This is probably a similar topic to "what is your most hated wedding comment" or something like that...but anyone have an experience like this? Were people are just HORRIFIED by your choice on something?

Truthfully, I don't care--I'll do what I like, thank you very much, especially with my choice of footwear--but I find it comical.

A friend of mine who is also planning her wedding was planning on doing a rainbow for her bridesmaids (gorgeous pastel colors--Badgley Mischka dresses, and I just loved them together--they were summery and flowy and VERY "her"), and had us all order them...but she's gotten so many comments from family and vendors that she changed her mind is now trying to get them all in the same color ::sigh:: too bad!

 

[teapot]

Who cares what they think. I think your shoes are great and any color that makes you happy is perfect. I got a lot of slack from my family when I had my groom''s maid wear black, but in the end, it looked great and people actually liked it.

 

[emeraldlover1]

I think they will look great. I love your dress. Anyway...I was debating gold for my bridesmaids but they all already have silver shoes.

 

[Sparkalicious]

I love shoes in soft gold! They look fantastic with a lot of different things ... your wedding dress, I''m sure, being one of them.

If you want to wear gold shoes, which are gorgeous, by the way, please do just that. I have NO idea as to why everyone seems appalled. Doesn''t make sense to me.

 

[alli_esq]

teapot, I think it''s so silly when people are opposed to black in weddings--I always think that black looks SO sharp and sophisticated!

ohhh my gosh, Emerald lover, I LOOOVE YOUR dress! SO chic, and different and just gorgeous! I''m glad you agree with my shoe idea, hehe...

sparkalicious, thanks for the support--people are ridiculous, are they not? hahaha

 

[emeraldlover1]

Don''t let other peoples opinions on your style change your idea unless you are unsure about it. I''m sure it will be perfect. I think Musey had gold flats and they were gorge!

 

[alli_esq]

I was just going to say that--Musey had my dream wedding (honestly, Musey, if you''re around, I want you to know that--just absolutely AMAZINGLY gorgeous, every aspect), and I loved her shoes with her gown! In fact, i showed my mom pictures of her shoes and her wedding to convince her that people do do gold shoes, and it''s silly to insist on white, especially when Musey''s wedding came out SO perfectly!

 

[musey]

I have absolutely no idea why anyone (a) notices, (b) cares, or (c) disapproves.

I don''t think a single person knew what shoes I was planning to wear, besides my MOH whose only reaction was "Ooh, pretty!"

Given that the VAST majority of brides that I''ve seen move through PS wore shoes in silver, gold or bright colors like red, blue, hot pink, etc... I haven''t a single CLUE why you''re getting any reactions at all over gold shoes.


Oh, and for the record, mine were gold too. No one even SAW them on our wedding day unless I said "look at the cute shoes I got!"

 

[emeraldlover1]

IMHO...white is boring. Mine are purple! I didn''t ask for anyones opinions because I didn''t want to have to defend my choice.

 

[musey]

Date: 1/15/2009 5:07:04 PM
Author: alli_esq
I was just going to say that--Musey had my dream wedding (honestly, Musey, if you're around, I want you to know that--just absolutely AMAZINGLY gorgeous, every aspect), and I loved her shoes with her gown! In fact, i showed my mom pictures of her shoes and her wedding to convince her that people do do gold shoes, and it's silly to insist on white, especially when Musey's wedding came out SO perfectly!

LOL, I didn't see this before I posted above. Thanks

Yes, people wear gold shoes, and every other color of the rainbow. If I'd had a spring wedding, I TOTALLY would have worn green shoes... summer would of course have been a kicky, bright orange. My gold choice was actually my "safe" option that I fell back on when I couldn't find burnt orange ones that I liked.

But then, I'm not shy with shoes. I own one pair of black shoes that sit in my closet while my purple, green, sky blue, and camo-print heels come out to play. Maybe all these people who are objecting to your shoe choice are of the matchy-matchy variety? If so, they would probably be absolutely APPALLED by every fashion choice I make.

For sure!

 

[musey]

Here''s some gold-wedding-shoe ammo

 

[sunnyd]

My mom was also horrified when I said I wanted a red shoe. I thought she would pass out...

I love gold shoes! I''m looking for gold flats to change into for dancin''! You wear ''em alli.

 

[ladyciel]

Definitely go for the gold! I found that lots of people have strange notiions about what IS and ISN''T "ok" for a wedding. I wore blue shoes, and though my mother went "BLUE shoes?" with a sort of "disbelief/you''re weird" tone to her voice, she certainly didn''t try to talk me out of it. She didn''t ooh and aah about them like a bunch of other people did (which was really fun!), but she was at least nice enough to basically keep her mouth shut. When I teased her about not liking them, she just said they were very me. Not what SHE would have picked, but very me. And if they made me happy, then she loved them. I say this because I think that last part is really important - they weren''t what SHE would have picked. They were what *I* wanted, though.

You want to rock the gold shoes? Go for it and don''t look back! You have YOUR reasons, and they''re great ones. That makes them the only ones you need.

 

[alli_esq]

haha, I love you girls!

You know I''m rockin whatever the heck I want! I haven''t actually tried anything on yet, and I''m not getting married for what seems like a million years (november! oy!), but I''d always rather look at shoes online than...oh...I don''t know...anything (besides jewelry, of course, hehe)

 

[musey]

See? People do brights, too!!

Neatfreak''s gorgeous bright wedding shoes:

(NF I hope you don''t mind my re-posting your pic)

 

[alli_esq]

ohhhh, musey, I''m melting over your gorgeous shoe pics!!!! love them!

and I love the bright colors too! if they worked with my color scheme (whatever the heck that is), I might very well go blue or pink or...ooo...red...

 

[alli_esq]

(oops, meant to attach this)

 

[AmberGretchen]

Yeah I don''t see what people are so upset about or why it matters - I think both rainbow dresses and gold shoes sound very pretty, and in any case, its not my wedding!

 

[tessari]

Alli, I love your idea and reasoning and I am going to copy you and also do gold shoes!!!

Plus my FI will love it bc he loves saying "my gold shoes are too tight" when appropriate. I actually do have a pair of gold shoes that are too tight...haha.

 

[Sparkalicious]

For whatever it''s worth, Alli - I''m fairly certain that I''m doing gold shoes as well.

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 1/15/2009 5:22:12 PM
Author: musey
See? People do brights, too!!


Neatfreak''s gorgeous bright wedding shoes:

(NF I hope you don''t mind my re-posting your pic)

Thanks Musey! I don''t mind at all, I was just about to chime in with a "wear whatever darn shoes you want!" comment anyway.

Seriously, people need to get over themselves if they are concerning themselves with what color shoes YOU choose to wear on YOUR special day. How about telling them you are going to wear doc martens or something first, then after you see the horrified looks a gold slingback won''t sound so bad?

 

[alli_esq]

hahha, neatfreak--I like your style, bigtime! how are your little ones doing? (I''m sorry, I don''t post often but I read a lot, and I feel almost like I know you...hehe...aw, this makes me seem creepy...

)

 

[FrekeChild]

Um. Is it weird that I think it''s appalling that I''m wearing WHITE shoes to married in?

It seems like more and more brides are wearing colored shoes now anyway, I don''t know why people would even care.

(BTW, I''m wearing the Stuart Weitzman Sashay-which is almost identical to the shoe you posted, only it has a back. And mine are white satin.)

 

[alli_esq]

ohhh, Freke, I am so happy you chimed in!!

I have been admiring your shoes and wishwishwish that they came in gold!! I love them so much, but I''m afraid (as I said earlier) that they won''t match my gown and that I won''t be able to wear them again...

obviously I need some of your help

 

[Pandora II]

How strange, I wore gold shoes and no-one said a word.

I did have a gold fabric as part of my dress, but even so, I think it''s up to the bride to choose the colour of shoes that she wants...

 

[sunnyd]

Freke I actually am appalled that you''re wearing white shoes. I think you should have 8 shoe changes throughout the night.

 

[choro72]

Whew, I was so confused. I thought you meant that PS people were appalled by your shoes choice, and I saw the picture and thought "WHAT!? That would get rave reviews here!". Then I couldn''t find your shoe thread, but now I understand.

 

[FrekeChild]

sunnyd Don''t tempt me.

alli I will help you later, K? I have to go shoe shopping with a friend right now. Just tell me what size, budget, style, and anything else you think might be interesting that you want in your wedding shoes!

(I shouldn''t be too long, I''m not going for myself!)

 

[alli_esq]

omg, Freke! whenever you have time--really. it''s obviously NOOOOooooo rush (if you can even find time at all--I know you''re so busy yourself!)...teehee...

but coyly....hehehe

Color: gold, I think (soft, like the ones I showed ya)
Size: 6.5-7.5 (usually right about 7)
Heel height: 2+ inches (preferably more like 3)
Heel style: stiletto
Style of shoe: prefer open toe/peep-toe, but I''m open to closed too
Season of wedding: Late autumn
Dress: (POB Vineyard Collection Maeve--pic attached)
Anything you don''t want: no chunkiness; if there is a platform, keep it small
Preferred brands: comfortable ones
Budget: around $200, but I''m a little flexible

I''m not getting married until November, so really, it''s NOOOOO rush

 

[Haven]

Try wearing GREEN shoes on your wedding day and see what people say. I had the *ahem* older generation clucking for quite a while about my beautiful green shoes. FIL''s companion actually said "Oh my, those are very ((Pinter pause)) interesting. Why would you do that?" I just smiled at her until someone came and dragged me away, which didn''t take long at all.

I have no answers for why people seem appalled, other than that it must make them feel comfortable to desperately cling to traditions that they never bother stop to question. (I think this is why people end up disliking etiquette, because some misinterpret it as an excuse to cling to old, unnecessary traditions. While really, it''s just a way of helping everyone navigate the world gracefully.) Anyway, sorry for the tangent. Gotta stick up for my dear, misunderstood friend, etiquette. Not that anyone asked, I know.