Why Did You Get Married?

[Tekate]

I could be a funny bunny and say "which time?"

But my beloved hubber and I were pregnant and although we got enaged the night we ahem.. created.. our son, it was a shockeroo!

First time? college boyfriend, 22, thought it was the right thing to do, didn't think I was worthy of anyone treating me as a human.

great question.

 

[nala]

Naïveté for my first marriage, which I will admit was the cutest love story. We met in elementary school and I had a huge crush on him but he didn’t know. Then at 16, he walked into the McDonald’s that I worked at and it was love at first sight for us both.This was years before the internet and social media. I took it as a sign that he was my soul mate. Sigh. Didn’t work out tho we have a darling daughter and good relationship.
I chose not to marry the second time around and we have been and are very happy 20 years later! Don’t need a piece of paper to validate what we have.

 

[OdetteOdile]

We fell madly in love at ages 15 and 16 and knew we never wanted to be apart. We married when we were 20 and 21, which was way younger than the norm where we live. We still feel it was the best choice we ever made.

 

[stracci2000]

In the 1980s, we married because it was what you did after dating for 2 years. It was the expectation.
Where I was raised, you graduated high school, dated a guy for a year or so, got married, had babies. End of story.
Forget career, having your own money, traveling, etc.
After that all collapsed, I am happily cohabitating for 22 years with a partner who understands me and we get along perfectly.
We don't have any papers, but he is my DH, regardless.

 

[Beagles]

We met in college when I was dating other guys who were fascinatingly different from the boys I knew in high school. I refused to go out with him for months because he seemed so "normal" compared to the others. Gradually a friendship deepened into love after I realized his values were similar to mine and he was the nicest, most considerate, and most honorable person I'd ever met and the only man I could imagine sharing the rest of my life with. We will celebrate our 39th anniversary in April.

 

[Diamond Girl 21]

I definitely married for love. I just knew he was the one for me. Perhaps not in a cerebral/logical way, but an intuitively.

 

[lambskin]

For the big diamond engagement ring!
haha. Lol just kidding. Love, pure love.

 

[indigoblue]

He wore me down, so I finally said yes.

We met in college. A Christian college where girls went to find husbands. We had similar family backgrounds. We had similar interests in science and medicine. We had the same religion. He was funny and made me laugh. I looked around at my parents and their friends, and no one seemed especially happy, so I figured that's what marriage was all about: You find someone who looks good on paper, you marry them, and then you settle into a comfortable existence.

I realized exactly two years into the marriage that I'd made a big mistake, but it was too late. I was raised that divorce wasn't an option, especially if your only reason was that you'd changed your mind. I kept thinking things would get better. He wasn't physically abusive. He just wasn't emotionally there for me. I was his property, and he was convinced I'd never leave him. It took 33 years before I finally got the courage to leave. This took him completely by surprise. He thought I had a bad case of empty nest syndrome, and if he just humored me, I'd come to my senses and stay, and everything would go back to the way it had been. But I left, got an apartment, got a job, and made a life on my own. He thought I'd fail and come back begging for forgiveness, but I was successful.

Then a few years later at my 40 year high school reunion, I reconnected with a classmate. He really does it for me in the bedroom (I tested that part out first this time), so we got married nearly eight years ago.

My ex has since died, and I now receive his SS benefit which is WAY more than I'd be getting on my own (he wouldn't let me work after I'd put him through college, med school, and a residency). I earned it.

 

[Gussie]

I married for love, money, stability, culture, society.

Ditto. Minus the money - I knew I was missing something LOL

 

[Tayberry]

I didn't want to live together before marriage

 

[qubitasaurus]

For love, for stability -- I wanted the stability of marriage before bringing any children into the world.

I don't think it was what I was expecting though. Like @yssie I'd have no problems dissolving my marriage if there was a compelling taxation reason. So I don't think marriage got me any additional security, I didn't already have in my relationship.

Marriage has been a lot of hardwork though, we're now both periodically exhausted and burnt out in a synchronised kind of way (which sometimes seems worse than if just one of us was over commited). When one of us takes something big/overwhelming on at work or in general; the other kind of ofsets them so it's typical for both of us to hit low points together. My marriage is also very rewarding though, 6-7(?) years later I have a partner I love and two children we are both very fond of.

 

[Piper70]

Love. We were 21 and 23. Had similar values and wanted the same things. We are still together and our 33rd anniversary is in 3 months. We have definitely had ups and downs mostly because of his workaholic tendencies. I’d still rather be with him than anyone else.

 

[starbrite]

Love and a very determined suitor.

I was very young. He was older and established. I wanted to play and not be tied down. He wanted me. Somehow, he made me fall in love with him.

We met in July in NYC for just one date, and I didn’t see him again until October. At that point, he was just one of many guys I was dating. He had followed me back to my hometown. I only saw him twice a month in November & December because we lived hundreds of miles apart. He proposed in early January, and I laughed and said no way. I then saw him for long, fun filled weekends every week throughout January, and he proposed every single day that we were together!!! I didn’t take him at all seriously, but I did really enjoy being with him. Somewhere along the way, he managed to get into my young and foolish heart. I finally said yes in February. He gave me his sports car as an engagement gift. The custom designed engagement ring came in April.

We had a big church wedding in June. I left my parents’ home (in another state) and went to live with my new husband in NYC. Not used to it, I hated apartment living!!! So, he bought me a house in the suburbs & I started to college in September. He then commuted to Manhattan. I was able to drive to school every day because being near a good college was one of the factors in where we decided to buy a home.

All these very many years later, I still have the same husband (my one and only) and have no regrets. He’s not super rich, and he’s only average looking.
Plus, he is a different “generation” than I am. However, I love the man I married with all my heart. I can’t image life without him. He was right. We belong together. There will never be anyone else for me but him.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

Health insurance haha
I mean I also love him and plan to spend my life with him, but I’m not the biggest fan of the marriage institution historically in its treatment of women and non heteronormative/non monogamous humans. If it didn’t come with tax and legal benefits, I wouldn’t have gotten married as I’m also not religious in any way and kind of hate being watched by a large group of people

 

[kenny]

... he got pregnant.

 

[ZestfullyBling]

For love. I have always felt mentally and emotionally safe with him. We bring the best out of each, grown together, laugh together, fuss and make up. We find comfort and joy in each other. I feel very fortunate that he is in my life. Shucks, he still finds me "HOT", some 30yrs later...it's baffling. LOL

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

I married for love and hope. I had a horrible example of a marriage with my own parents, as did my husband with his. We both loved each other and hoped we would be successful building a life together. Our 14th wedding anniversary and 21st coupleversary is coming up in a few months!

 

[mellowyellowgirl]

To get away from my evil parents and because he was such a perfect and sensible option on paper.

It turned into an epic love story for me. I'm quite mad about him while he's still rolling along being rock solid, loving, incredibly kind and occasionally wondering why the crazy girl he met 21 years ago is still dramatically chasing him!!!

 

[whitewave]

We fell madly in love at ages 15 and 16 and knew we never wanted to be apart. We married when we were 20 and 21, which was way younger than the norm where we live. We still feel it was the best choice we ever made.

We have been together since age 16 also.

 

[GoldenTouch]

Because I was in love….
The man I married was wonderful…. The man I’m divorced from sadly is not.

 

[elle_71125]

For love. I couldn’t imagine a world in which I didn’t get to spend every single day with this man. He makes me laugh like no one else. He makes me feel better, after a rough day. He’s my best friend. I’m so grateful we found each other when we were 17 & 18 and that we get the privilege of sharing our lives. He’s my home.

Side note: He thinks I should add in a comment about his big chorizo (sausage).
ETA: and now I’ve embarrassed him, which is just the cherry on top.

 

[mommylawyer]

For love. I changed the vows when we got married. I changed "until death do us part" to "never to part".

If I die first, I will haunt him in a Wuthering Heights sort of way. If he dies first, I will find him later in the afterlife, and he better not be shacked up with some random ghost lady because that would be cheating, per the aforementioned modified vows.

Twenty years down, eternity to go!

 

[LilAlex]

If I die first, I will haunt him in a Wuthering Heights sort of way.

I don't know! Mine says, "If anything happens to me, you better get married again!"

Actuarially, it's gonna be a real horserace.

 

[Vera W]

Married for Love. He knew within 10 minutes of meeting me that he wanted to marry me, even though at the time I was in an estranged marriage. Once that ended, we started dating and were married within two years. He was a protector, had a heart bigger than he was, never met a stranger, raised our sons to be true Texas men, made me laugh until I nearly passed out, and treated me like a Queen. We made it to happily married year 24, he got sick and decided to move away as he didn't want to be a burden. This broke my heart but I honored his decision. He died two years later, which would have been year 26. We confessed our love even through the time he moved away and by God's grace had the most loving conversation the day before he died, (did not know at the time he was going to die then) which will sustain me until I meet him again up in the Heavenly realms. Two months after he died, I found out he was planning on moving back to our area. Now I am widowed for nearly 6 years. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of him. He visits me in my dreams and I am certain he gives me signs of his presence. I know I will never be loved or feel more secure with anyone else, other than my family, and I am eternally grateful to have been the love of his life and he be mine. He lives on in our sons and we carry on with his great humor, even about his passing, as he would want it to be. The kids always say "Where He at Thou"? When we talk about him. We always said for the surviving one to remarry but I just don't have the time or energy for all that. I am content living like The Golden Girls with my older Sister, 3 cats, and 2 dogs.
Thankfully God has given me the peace that I need to make the rest of my life good, so I am not in deep despair.

 

[SparklieBug]

From commenting in another "married" thread...

We got married on a whim. LOL! Seriously. We'd known each other for less than six months (met through mutual friends), and had both been involved with others such that we knew what we wanted, and what we didn't want in a relationship. I went to visit for a long weekend, and at the end of my visit, I changed flights to a day later, and we got married by a JP. LOL! We had each decided that the other was The One.

One of the witnesses (both were/are good friends of my DH) asked what our parents would think of us eloping. I cheerfully replied that I wasn't marrying them, so I didn't really care...

We split the fee for the marriage license ($10 each), got a card and a modest thank-you gift for the JP (another good friend), and a demi bottle of bubbly/"Champagne", for a total of maybe $60?

My wedding band was a couple twist-ties twined together. He opted not to have any. LOL! This, Your Honour, is why I have zero allegiance to one wedding band or one engagement ring.

That was 29 years ago this month. We're still chuckling our way together through life.

 

[Begonia]

It was love. I lived with him for a few years first, and then married him.

 

[Ionysis]

Was over 30 and wanted kids. Had a prior broken engagement and wanted to finally be married - even if only for a while. Was sick of dating and I thought “what the hell, if it doesn’t work out I will have got a baby and can get divorced”. He seemed to adore me and he wasn’t boring. The sex was pretty good. Thirteenth wedding anniversary last month - god knows quite how LOL! Marriage has been a lot of hard work for me but I’ve grown so much and learned so much about myself as a result. Am very content with my life right now.

 

[kenny]

...

My wedding band was a couple twist-ties twined together....
That was 29 years ago this month.

Twist-ties!
Clever investment.

In 29 years they've appreciated tremendously even if you just sell it for scrap.