Why Did You Get Married?

[monarch64]

Why did you marry? For love, money, stability, culture, society? Please discuss.

 

[seaurchin]

That is an interesting question. At first I felt sorry for my friends who got married before I did. It all looked so boring and confining, like being grounded for life. They'd be glowing with pride and excitement, showing you their brand new wedding Crockpot and coffeepot and stuff and I'd just want to escape the dreary horror lol.

Then one day I just suddenly wanted, wanted, wanted to marry my sweetie and was over the moon when he proposed. So for me it was more a strong feeling rather than being able to state a reason for the feeling.

 

[MamaBear]

For love. I could imagine a future with this man. Now, 27 years later, I’m still in love and looking forward to our future together.

 

[diamondringlover]

I married for love or at least at the time it was love......that was almost 38 years ago

 

[jaysonsmom]

My husband and I joke that I married him for my greencard.......It is partially true. I was dating someone else for 4 years prior to my husband, but he was not husband material because he didn't want financial stability, he didn't want children, he didn't want to plant roots anywhere. He was a free-spirited "artiste". I confided this to my husband who was my coworker at the time, and through conversation, realized that my husband wanted all the same things I wanted, with similar "timing" so with that, I fell in love.....

 

[dk168]

I was asked after he had a big health scare, and I said yes.

We were together for 10 years, married for 7 years.

The divorce was amicable, for he was and still is a very generous person.

He said if he could not make me happy, he was glad that someone else could.

DK

 

[missy]

Because I couldn’t imagine my life without him.

 

[yssie]

Honestly, because that’s what You Were Supposed To Be Excited To Do. Go to college, finish college, get married, buy a house, have a couple of kids. I sort of fell off the end of the train, granted.

I love my husband. Dearly and belovedly. But if there was, say, some tax advantage of being un-married - significant enough to be worth the hassle of un-marrying - we would un-marry. The reality of my life with him is in no way dependent on marriage paperwork.

 

[HGar]

Because we fell in love at 18, spent every day together until at 33 we decided we wanted children and for us that also meant becoming married.

 

[kenny]

We both did it for the insurance.

 

[Wink]

For many years I had no plans at all to marry. I had seen what my mom and dad had, and had never come close to the wonderful loving relationship they shared and knew I never would. There would be no promises to Love and Honor until death do us part, since I knew I would never be happy with one woman for the rest of my life.

I was a "butterfly boy" while stationed in Rio de Janeiro. I flitted from flower to flower with no interest in a permanent relationship and planned to retire from the Marines at the age of 40 and surf my way around the world one year and ski my way around the year the next.

One day I invited Resa to a movie and two weeks later I asked her to marry me. I was completely lost and madly in love with this woman who told me she knew what I wanted and had expected a better line than a proposal.

I told her I wanted that too, but I really did want to spend my life with her. Here I am, more than fifty years later, married for 48 years, six months and 12 days.

We are still in love, have two incredible children their spouses and five grands. We both hope to live long enough to see some of the early great grands.

This incredible lady is another of the wonderful blessings of my life.

Wink

 

[MamaBee]

We both did it for the insurance.

You’re so romantic @kenny!

 

[DRSAMURAI]

For many years I had no plans at all to marry. I had seen what my mom and dad had, and had never come close to the wonderful loving relationship they shared and knew I never would. There would be no promises to Love and Honor until death do us part, since I knew I would never be happy with one woman for the rest of my life.

I was a "butterfly boy" while stationed in Rio de Janeiro. I flitted from flower to flower with no interest in a permanent relationship and planned to retire from the Marines at the age of 40 and surf my way around the world one year and ski my way around the year the next.

One day I invited Resa to a movie and two weeks later I asked her to marry me. I was completely lost and madly in love with this woman who told me she knew what I wanted and had expected a better line than a proposal.

I told her I wanted that too, but I really did want to spend my life with her. Here I am, more than fifty years later, married for 48 years, six months and 12 days.

We are still in love, have two incredible children their spouses and five grands. We both hope to live long enough to see some of the early great grands.

This incredible lady is another of the wonderful blessings of my life.

Wink

Congratulations and I also know the feeling as well. You are blessed. We will celebrate 53 years together next month and gifted my bride a 2+ carat MRB last month. And I am blessed to have her, the daughters and granddaughters. They are My Diamond Girls.

 

[kenny]

You’re so romantic @kenny!

Actually I find honestly to be not just romantic, but secksee.

I'm thrilled to have found that rare person who shares my practical and logical perspective re marriage and is not afraid of disappointing by being fully honest.
We are both like Spock from Star Trek in that we both think for ourselves to determine what makes sense.
We don't swallow, hook line and sinker, everything our culture tries to force onto us.

I'm glad they finally pulled their heads out of their @sses, blew off the homophobia/hate that religions invented so the majority of potential tithing customers got something to feel superior about, and stopped denying my tribe the human and civil right of marriage.

 

[Calliecake]

I married for love. I also had never felt as safe and loved as I did with my husband.

 

[LilAlex]

Why did you marry? For love, money, stability, culture, society? Please discuss.

Of those five, only love; neither of us brought any of the other four to the table .

We had more differences than similarities then -- but similar values and goals. I had not heard this expression until recently but it was definitely a "If you keep me safe, I'll keep you wild" kinda thing. You can probably guess who was who . A hundred years later, I don't think our kids can.

 

[Brigid]

I couldn’t help it, I was career driven & financially thriving but he was gorgeous, exciting to be around and I just gave in to love at first sight!
20 + years later I still adore him and he is a great Dad to our 19 year old daughter &16 year old son.
The only thing I would like to curb is his love of buying toys - boats & cars.

 

[Snowdrop13]

Very much along the lines of @yssie’s description! I was 32 and had had a series of rollercoaster, unsatisfactory relationships behind me. I was at the point of giving up on men when lovely DH came along. He was so calm and caring and consistent, a major contrast to everything before. He has never wavered in his commitment to me and our children, he gives me peace and love, couldn’t ask for more, really.

 

[missy]

My husband also makes me want to be the best person I can be.
He is my B'shert.
Yesterday, today, tomorrow and for always.

Before him I never wanted to get married.
I loved being single and free. I loved everything about my life.


Like @seaurchin I looked at all my friends getting married and knew it was not the life for me.
Until I met Greg. And I knew I could not live without him.

He is my rock. And my soft place to fall.
He is truly my everything.
And I am his.

How Do I Love Thee? (Sonnet 43)​

Elizabeth Barrett Browning - 1806-1861



How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

 

[Ally T]

For love. We came late to the marriage game at 33 & 34, having both meandered along with other partners up until that point - me very flighty with many relationships under my belt & him a stable guy with one longterm partner who regularly asked him when he would propose. He didn't want marriage & neither did I.

But then we met & I knew on our first date we would marry. He proposed quickly afterwards & the rest is 16 years (married 15 in Sept) of happy history full of laughter, hard work & 2 amazing daughters.

 

[autumngems]

Love, and someone to kill spiders for me when needed.

36 years in Sept

 

[MamaBee]

Actually I find honestly to be not just romantic, but secksee.

I'm thrilled to have found that rare person who shares my practical and logical perspective re marriage and is not afraid of disappointing by being fully honest.
We are both like Spock from Star Trek in that we both think for ourselves to determine what makes sense.
We don't swallow, hook line and sinker, everything our culture tries to force onto us.

I'm glad they finally pulled their heads out of their @sses, blew off the homophobia/hate that religions invented so the majority of potential tithing customers got something to feel superior about, and stopped denying my tribe the human and civil right of marriage.

There you go! That’s romantic!

 

[YadaYadaYada]

Definitely not for money because I had more than he did at the time. So there were a few reasons:

I hated dating, so freaking painful.

I wanted the stability of marriage.

In our religion being married is an expectation before having children.

I loved him and he was easy enough to live with so why not?

 

[Austina]

For love.

My DH told his friend that as soon as he saw me (across a crowded room) he knew I was the girl he wanted to marry

For me, it took 3 weeks before I realised he was ‘the one’. We’ve been together 44 years in April, and married 44 years in December.

 

[737liz]

We got married due to covid restrictions. I didn't want either of us to have to be alone should we need to deal with parents being ill, or worse. We are of different nationalities and live in a 3rd country. We'd been perpetually engaged for about a decade due to me being reticent and not wanting to pay higher taxes. So romantic, I know.

Edit clarification: covid TRAVEL restrictions.

 

[marymm]

I married for love, money, stability, culture, society.

 

[Calliecake]

@monarch64, This is a great topic.

 

[whitewave]

I loved my husband and had baby fever since i was about 12 lol. There was nothing I wanted more than to be a wife and a mother.

 

[DutchJackie]

We married to buy a house. It was easier with all the paperwork. We were common law partners in a rental for some years. We knew that the paperwork wouldn’t change much. We love each other dearly and know how to communicate our needs and wants respectfully. Now the anniversary date is very much celebrated each year with a dinner date. So a practical decision became a cherished romantic point in the calendar

 

[chrono]

Societal pressure.