Why all the negativity??

[Kaleigh]

I know many are noticing it.. It goes in waves, I get that... But lately it's been super negative, and many are leaving, or have left...

I am all for the back and forth.. It's not that. Love a good debate..

I don't blame it on PS 2.0. That's not it...

I just guess it's the way this place is evolving??


I am not looking to stir the pot.

I am just looking for ways we can get back on track??

Or just tell me to go pound salt, I can take it!!!

 

[Upgradable]

Kaleigh, I've been around the block a time or two, and this is not a unique occurrance. Pricescope's main intent is as informational and advocacy site for diamonds. The further people get from that initial quest, the greater the liklihood we will be at crossed purposes.

 

[vbnet]

Is it just me or the longer the topic goes (number of posts) it has a higher chance of starting to get negative -- What do you think?

 

[Lady_Disdain]

Yes, I have noticed too - some ugly threads come to mind. And not only in Hangout. Debate and different opinions are great, but too many threads seem to be devolving into personal arguements.

The worst thing is that there seems to be so little individuals who are not in this "mode" can do to change this...

 

[HollyS]

I've spent less and less time here - - neither posting nor lurking. I can't quite say WHAT the problem is, why I'm less than interested these days, except . . . I'm tired of defending myself over the simplest of comments. Comments that have been taken WAY out of context; comments that have had motives ascribed to them; comments that were never meant as a snark or snipe in any way.

I don't know whether people are so self-involved that they firmly believe that anyone with a differing opinion, or a differing lifestyle, or a differing perspective is out to hurt them in some way, or . . . WHAT? What is this attitude that unless we are patting each other on the back and saying, "There, there. You poor thing", we're the enemy and we must be slain???

I know I'll get flack for this, (and golly, wouldn't that be new and unusual), but there are people here who simply need to get a grip.

 

[LGK]

I've spent less and less time here - - neither posting nor lurking. I can't quite say WHAT the problem is, why I'm less than interested these days, except . . . I'm tired of defending myself over the simplest of comments. Comments that have been taken WAY out of context; comments that have had motives ascribed to them; comments that were never meant as a snark or snipe in any way.

I don't know whether people are so self-involved that they firmly believe that anyone with a differing opinion, or a differing lifestyle, or a differing perspective is out to hurt them in some way, or . . . WHAT? What is this attitude that unless we are patting each other on the back and saying, "There, there. You poor thing", we're the enemy and we must be slain???

I know I'll get flack for this, (and golly, wouldn't that be new and unusual), but there are people here who simply need to get a grip.

I'm all for a modicum of politeness when posting, but yeah- it's been like realllllly noticeable lately that posts have been taken WAY out of context and panties get bunched quick. And it's weird.

And yes. Lots of freaking out over you-don't-think-like-me-so-die-off. Which isn't much fun.

 

[Kaleigh]

When I came here in 2004 it was sooooo fun. Yes there were HUGE heated debates. BUT were held with respect, and then some not so... BUT it was so interesting, and I learned a great deal. I knew there were soooo many different personalities on here.. Loved that about PS.


I am not talking about hangout soley. Colored stones has had the biggest hit with the negativity.. It's made many long standing members leave. AND that makes me sad, because I loved that forum.

 

[Dancing Fire]

must be the summer weather...

its been too hot back east and too cold out here in the west...

 

[arjunajane]

kaleigh I have noticed PS in general has been quite alot more quiet of late than the first year or so when I joined too. It is a shame a number of posters have felt the need to leave; I think ppl will always come and go for various reasons, but if an overly negative/combative tone is causing less participation over all that would be very unfortunate. I agree I too have noted an unusual amount of threads degenerating into personal spats. I am just not really sure what to do about it

 

[Gypsy]

It's been quiet. And from the amount of "out of a job', 'someone is sick'. and other bad things happening I'm thinking people aren't feeling cheery. I've been avoiding hangout and sticking to RT though because of the vibes.

I can only think of one negative post I contributed and that was more of a... wake up call, than anything else.

I did get a new job but the background check company is incompetent (near as I can tell) and I'm wigged out now that they are going to screw up my hire. They've already Ooopsed! twice but telling my new company incomplete information. I find out tomorrow if everything is a go. If it is, I promise to be nice and happy.

 

[zhuzhu]

It's been quiet. And from the amount of "out of a job', 'someone is sick'. and other bad things happening I'm thinking people aren't feeling cheery. I've been avoiding hangout and sticking to RT though because of the vibes.

I can only think of one negative post I contributed and that was more of a... wake up call, than anything else.

I did get a new job but the background check company is incompetent (near as I can tell) and I'm wigged out now that they are going to screw up my hire. They've already Ooopsed! twice but telling my new company incomplete information. I find out tomorrow if everything is a go. If it is, I promise to be nice and happy.

HI Gypsy,

Will keep my fingers crossed for you on the background check!!! Good luck and I hope you enjoy your new nob!

 

[Burberrygirl]

I am not talking about hangout soley. Colored stones has had the biggest hit with the negativity.. It's made many long standing members leave. AND that makes me sad, because I loved that forum.

I know, CS has definitely taken a hit lately. Most of the time I just ignore it but after a while it wears me down and I take a break. Hopefully PS (especially CS) will get more positive.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Where should I start... I think sometimes the "negativity" comes not from the aggressive people but by the sensitive people. People who are easily offended and say so.

But I think mostly I am oblivious - or I am (part of) the problem. For example - in the baby shower thread someone could see me as being a royal female dog, but I really wasn't feeling anything negative about the people - just the stance. I enjoy having debates and conversations where people don't always agree - and I guess I assume (for right or wrong) that people will take it in that vein. I did point out that the whole topic was super small potatoes in the big scheme and I would hope that would clue people in to the tone I intended. But I cannot help it if people get upset in a conversation like that.

anyway, I don't really see a lot of negativity... maybe I'm not reading enough.

ETA - I haven't been reading over at CS since I got my ring... I spend about 15 minutes a day on PS and about 2 minutes on RT and the rest here lol

 

[Cehrabehra]

It's been quiet. And from the amount of "out of a job', 'someone is sick'. and other bad things happening I'm thinking people aren't feeling cheery. I've been avoiding hangout and sticking to RT though because of the vibes.

I can only think of one negative post I contributed and that was more of a... wake up call, than anything else.

I did get a new job but the background check company is incompetent (near as I can tell) and I'm wigged out now that they are going to screw up my hire. They've already Ooopsed! twice but telling my new company incomplete information. I find out tomorrow if everything is a go. If it is, I promise to be nice and happy.

HI Gypsy,

Will keep my fingers crossed for you on the background check!!! Good luck and I hope you enjoy your new nob!

new nob? haha my mind is IN the gutter! Good luck Gypsy!

 

[Madam Bijoux]

I blame a lot of it on the unbearable heat this summer. We are all adults here, but the atmosphere in Hangout is beginning to feel more like a high school cafeteria every day. It's sad to see the thread asking what makes us happy and the thread about the amazing cat get less than half the posts the negative threads get. It's sad to see loved and respected members driven away by personal attacks.

 

[PinkTower]

When I came here in 2004 it was sooooo fun. Yes there were HUGE heated debates. BUT were held with respect, and then some not so... BUT it was so interesting, and I learned a great deal. I knew there were soooo many different personalities on here.. Loved that about PS.


I am not talking about hangout soley. Colored stones has had the biggest hit with the negativity.. It's made many long standing members leave. AND that makes me sad, because I loved that forum.

I notice this feeling of negativity also, but I do not think it is just here. The world was different in 2004. People still had jobs and housing was still strong. These issues temper everything now.

 

[zoebartlett]

I've noticed it too and I don't like it. I understand the need to vent about something that's bothering someone, but too many threads turn ugly. I don't see the need for that at all.

 

[ksinger]

I've spent less and less time here - - neither posting nor lurking. I can't quite say WHAT the problem is, why I'm less than interested these days, except . . . I'm tired of defending myself over the simplest of comments. Comments that have been taken WAY out of context; comments that have had motives ascribed to them; comments that were never meant as a snark or snipe in any way.

I don't know whether people are so self-involved that they firmly believe that anyone with a differing opinion, or a differing lifestyle, or a differing perspective is out to hurt them in some way, or . . . WHAT? What is this attitude that unless we are patting each other on the back and saying, "There, there. You poor thing", we're the enemy and we must be slain???

I know I'll get flack for this, (and golly, wouldn't that be new and unusual), but there are people here who simply need to get a grip.

Word. (And yes, I can hear the **thuds** of multiple faintings from here, can't you?)

I'm not a 22 year old LIW, I'm not newly married, I'm not having children, and I don't SHOP, and I'm not buying diamonds at a clip these days. I don't come here to ask for "DUST' or to have my issues psychoanalyzed by strangers or to ask for advice - or lockstep agreement. And I very infrequently give advice, because I've rarely taken it myself in my life, so those threads asking for it I generally leave to others who do it better. I've certainly had about all the "What are you having for lunch" threads I can take. Or the threads posted just so people can get outraged. Or passive-agressive polls. Those are fun. And we can't talk about big, serious world issues, you know: the ones that actually matter, so any discussion of that sort of thing severely constrained and pretty much devoid of any juice. And then there are the politeness police. People complained about the negativity in ATW, but I don't see that it's so much different now, it's just a different (much more insipid) flavor. And to read others' comments, apparently this negativity in forums I never or rarely go in, so I guess it's everywhere.

Anyway, not much left after that.

I posted in one thread that this place has become banal, and so it has. I'll probably lurk and post less and less. Wait...I'm doing that already.

My hubs keeps telling me to just hang out at Sailing Anarchy in the general and political anarchy forums. Maybe I shall. They're pretty juicy. And hilariously funny at times. I need a good laugh and a cyber-beer. I'm sure not getting it here.

 

[Imdanny]

No, I'm not going to tell you to pound salt. I don't even know what that means.

I haven't noticed any negativity or drama to speak of but then again I've had the flu for two days so I've been kind of out of it.

 

[AGBF]

I haven't noticed any negativity or drama to speak of but then again I've had the flu for two days so I've been kind of out of it.

I'm sorry you had the 'flu, Danny. I am so grateful you said what you did about the negativity. It was like the child saying that the emperor had no clothes (in the story, you know). I felt as if I was in the Twilight Zone. Everyone agreed about the negativity and was discussing it. I didn't know what anyone was talking about. I had not noticed any inordinate negativity either. (I don't read Colored Stones at the moment, however, and some of you have mentioned that as one place where there is a lot of negativity.)

I have noticed that the transition from Pricescope 1 to Pricescope 2 caused us to lose a lot of posters. Like ksinger, I find Pricescope more banal than in the days when we were having political discussions. Being more banal is negative in my eyes, but it does not mean that there is any increase in negativity! People always fought on Pricescope, and sometimes fought viciously. I was attacked far more in the past than I have been recently (AGBF knocks on wood). Posters never needed a reason to attack. There could be a full moon and they could read something I wrote and think they decoded a message from Satan in it! Then someone would come at me and refuse to let up, no matter how appeasingly I posted.

I think some of my fellow old-timers have selective memories!

Deb/AGBF

 

[Shoopy]

There's no denying that there are a large number of "tell it like it is" posters on PS.

The majority of these posters are sincere. But there are those few who do so only to live up to the snarky persona they built for themselves on PS. Every thread is an opportunity for them to exhibit their "better than thou" attitude.

It's getting old. Luckily there are plenty puppies and rainbows posters to make this community balance out.

 

[arjunajane]

Ksinger: Cheers for illustrating the kind of sarcasm and general bitterness I personally am referring to when I use the term negativity in this thread.
I personally don't understand constantly leveling criticism against the boards but still hanging around, especially if it doesn't seem to be providing you anything you're after...
I don't think Kaleigh was complaining when starting this thread - I think she was pointing out an observation and wondering why.

If things are not juicy or funny enough for your likes, why not contribute something along those lines?

And yes, I do realize I am contradicting myself somewhat by addressing you personally as such, but I felt it worth saying.

 

[packrat]

I post in CS and haven't noticed anything but..I'm not saying I'm the most observant of persons either. And I don't get a chance to read all the threads so maybe the ones I've gotten to are ok.

 

[kama_s]

.
Word. (And yes, I can hear the **thuds** of multiple faintings from here, can't you?)

I'm not a 22 year old LIW, I'm not newly married, I'm not having children, and I don't SHOP, and I'm not buying diamonds at a clip these days. I don't come here to ask for "DUST' or to have my issues psychoanalyzed by strangers or to ask for advice - or lockstep agreement. And I very infrequently give advice, because I've rarely taken it myself in my life, so those threads asking for it I generally leave to others who do it better. I've certainly had about all the "What are you having for lunch" threads I can take. Or the threads posted just so people can get outraged. Or passive-agressive polls. Those are fun. And we can't talk about big, serious world issues, you know: the ones that actually matter, so any discussion of that sort of thing severely constrained and pretty much devoid of any juice. And then there are the politeness police. People complained about the negativity in ATW, but I don't see that it's so much different now, it's just a different (much more insipid) flavor. And to read others' comments, apparently this negativity in forums I never or rarely go in, so I guess it's everywhere.

Anyway, not much left after that.

I posted in one thread that this place has become banal, and so it has. I'll probably lurk and post less and less. Wait...I'm doing that already.

My hubs keeps telling me to just hang out at Sailing Anarchy in the general and political anarchy forums. Maybe I shall. They're pretty juicy. And hilariously funny at times. I need a good laugh and a cyber-beer. I'm sure not getting it here.

And THIS is the reason why I love you so!

Anyways, Kaleigh, to answer your question: I don't find PS to be particularly negative. I like threads where I am actually interested in giving my opinion, I tend not to check threads where posters ask rather mundane questions. Eh.

 

[iheartscience]

.
Word. (And yes, I can hear the **thuds** of multiple faintings from here, can't you?)

I'm not a 22 year old LIW, I'm not newly married, I'm not having children, and I don't SHOP, and I'm not buying diamonds at a clip these days. I don't come here to ask for "DUST' or to have my issues psychoanalyzed by strangers or to ask for advice - or lockstep agreement. And I very infrequently give advice, because I've rarely taken it myself in my life, so those threads asking for it I generally leave to others who do it better. I've certainly had about all the "What are you having for lunch" threads I can take. Or the threads posted just so people can get outraged. Or passive-agressive polls. Those are fun. And we can't talk about big, serious world issues, you know: the ones that actually matter, so any discussion of that sort of thing severely constrained and pretty much devoid of any juice. And then there are the politeness police. People complained about the negativity in ATW, but I don't see that it's so much different now, it's just a different (much more insipid) flavor. And to read others' comments, apparently this negativity in forums I never or rarely go in, so I guess it's everywhere.

Anyway, not much left after that.

I posted in one thread that this place has become banal, and so it has. I'll probably lurk and post less and less. Wait...I'm doing that already.

My hubs keeps telling me to just hang out at Sailing Anarchy in the general and political anarchy forums. Maybe I shall. They're pretty juicy. And hilariously funny at times. I need a good laugh and a cyber-beer. I'm sure not getting it here.

And THIS is the reason why I love you so!

Anyways, Kaleigh, to answer your question: I don't find PS to be particularly negative. I like threads where I am actually interested in giving my opinion, I tend not to check threads where posters ask rather mundane questions. Eh.

Ditto both of you. I don't think it's more negative than usual, but I do think it's a lot less interesting. Removing any possibility for controversy will do that to a place.

 

[Nashville]

I'm a newbie, but I apologize for being negative in my thread. A raw nerve got hit at a bad time ,and I reacted when I should have just taken the high road and ignored/reported.

 

[Madam Bijoux]

I love a good, lively debate, but there is difference between a civilized debate about a topic and a personal attack.

 

[Miss Sparkly]

I've noticed it too. I posted something a while back about 2.0 and was reamed for it. I didn't mean anything by it but a simple question The past couple years all DH and I have seen is job loss, job cuts and the loss of our house (short sale) and FINALLY we're making progress with the wonderfull house we're renting and my boss put in for a good pay raise for me I've noticed that my personal attitude towards online posts has changed quite a bit with the changes at home.

It could also just be that the more people who join the more likely conflict and different opinions will pop up....

 

[kenny]

My apologies for my negativity.

I'm going to work on it.

 

[Loves Vintage]

Ksinger: Cheers for illustrating the kind of sarcasm and general bitterness I personally am referring to when I use the term negativity in this thread.
I personally don't understand constantly leveling criticism against the boards but still hanging around, especially if it doesn't seem to be providing you anything you're after...
I don't think Kaleigh was complaining when starting this thread - I think she was pointing out an observation and wondering why.

If things are not juicy or funny enough for your likes, why not contribute something along those lines?

And yes, I do realize I am contradicting myself somewhat by addressing you personally as such, but I felt it worth saying.

Ditto, ditto, ditto!!

Ksinger - If you find the community uninteresting, then as I see it, your choices are to: (1) contribute something you find interesting; (2) leave; or (3) continue to tell us that you find us uninteresting and/or insert comments that can easily be construed as offensive to others.

Personally, I am in the mommy phase right now, and find this community very giving, thoughtful and helpful. I am very thankful for it. I suppose, if I did not find any value here, then I would just stop visiting. What is the point, really, in telling others, repeatedly, that they are not interesting to me, personally? After all, I am sure I could find hundreds or forums that do not interest me, and I am sure that the vast majority of people would not find any of my 2,000+ comments here interesting in the slightest. Such is life.