Who was involved in the selection and purchase of your Engagement Ring?

[Matthews1127]

I've read some very interesting Engagement stories, and have given amateur advice to those seeking help in the purchase of their true love's "perfect ring".
I'm curious to see the responses to the question: "Who was involved in the selection and purchase of your Engagement Ring?"
Is the "big surprise" still the preferred proposal, or are women involving themselves more in the selection process, removing the surprise element of the actual ring, but allowing him the joy of building the suspense just to see her face light up, when he finally pops the question?!
Inquiring minds want to know, PSers!!
Please share your answers!!

 

[BlingDreams]

Great poll! I'd be interested to know if people were happy with the way theirs unfolded, especially if it was a complete surprise.

 

[Matthews1127]

Great poll! I'd be interested to know if people were happy with the way theirs unfolded, especially if it was a complete surprise.

Agreed!! Everyone is welcome to post any further discussion pertaining to their answers, here. If "Something Else" is the chosen answer, please feel free to elaborate! This is a great way to learn about fellow PSers...puts a person behind the username. I like personalization...living people are here...it's great to "meet" & learn about everyone!

 

[Jambalaya]

It was a complete surprise and I don't have great memories of the proposal or the ring, which I would never have chosen myself. But I know his intentions were good - he was trying to do the romantic-surprise thing! I would have preferred a more equal approach, however.

 

[marcy]

It was a complete surprise to me. We were having dinner at a quiet little restaurant and I'd gone to get salad bar. I came back to the table and was talking away and they waitress comes to the table and says "oh is this an engagement?" I'm like HUH? She points at the ring box on the table. I hadn't even noticed it. I was thrilled and excited and I loved that ring because my DH picked it out just for me.

 

[Matthews1127]

I was instrumental in influencing his decision. I made certain he knew what shape diamond I wanted: Emerald Cut. I shopped at different Jewelry stores for a specific style of setting that fit my style, and left a trail to give him inspiration. I didn't get involved in shopping with him until he started asking me questions, particularly regarding diamond size.
That's when he invited me along for support & help. Choosing my diamond was a joint effort. Ultimately, I left him on his own to think about the options we unveiled, together. The rest was up to him. I wanted it to be something he wanted me to wear; something he believed would "fit" me, and represent "us".
After his surprise proposal (I had no idea, and I didn't know what to expect, when he opened the box), I asked him if he would have chosen that same ring, without my influence, and without my trail. He told me it may not have been exact, but it would have come damn close...lol!
It made me feel so good to know how well he knows my taste & personality, and to have confirmation that he really appreciates my ring (almost as much as I do...lol!)

 

[foxinsox]

I picked my ring and we both got a surprise when it arrived (from overseas)
Seriously though, my lovely husband has never worn jewellery, not paid much attention to it and I actually had no idea what I wanted once I started looking and realised that MRBs weren't my thing. Nor were princess cuts, halos or 3-stones! It took me 6 months of pinning everything that vaguely appealed to work out what I actually did like.
So if I had expected him to magic something out of thin air, he'd have had a terrible time. Plus we don't really roll like that. We're both quite specific about what we like or don't like and would rather we love what we have than love the surprise. Plus getting married was something we had already talked about so extensively that the proposal could never be a surprise.

 

[Hayley87]

We had talked a handful of times about getting engaged soon-ish, so I knew it was on the horizon. We were just a few months out of college, and both of us were barely scraping by at our new-grad jobs. His parents were kind enough to gift us a 0.75 ct stone to use, as well as some 1-pointers, which had been part of an old piece of family jewelry.

I knew his budget was basically nil and didn't want to risk telling him an idea of mine that he'd go into debt over (because he's the type of guy who'd have taken on debt to make me happy), so the only preference I told him was white gold; I don't remember him asking any other preferences, but he may have. Honestly, I was just so happy to be with him (and still am!) that the details didn't matter enough to me at the time to be worth mentioning. He had a setting made, and the proposal was a perfect, sweet surprise.

The set is not what I'd have chosen (it's a bit matchy-matchy for my taste), and the center stone is included and cut so deep that it's dark in the middle, but it didn't matter to me.

As we've gotten older, I've regretted somewhat not being part of the design process or not telling him my preferences more. I've brought up the idea of an upgrade, and he's on board; I'd still wear the original wedding band, I think, but find a new ER. But then the sentimentality of the whole thing makes me wonder if I'd pull the trigger on an upgrade purchase when the time came, so...who knows?

(Meanwhile, he's gotten an entirely new wedding band because he changed his preference for gold color Why do guys have it so easy?)

 

[madelise]

My first engagement - I did all the science obsession from PS and picked it out. He held onto it for a year before he proposed. It drove me insane, and it caused a lot of friction.

My current husband - he wanted to surprise me and not put me through the anticipation and wait like prior. He had he contact of about 5 Pricescopers and a list of jewelers. He surprised me by contacting JBG while he was out of country, and organizing he whole thing so I couldn't "catch" him. I had no idea. I'm thrilled he did it this way, so I can still be surprised and caught off guard.

 

[Austina]

I didn't have one!

 

[Snowdrop13]

I was engaged well before internet shopping for diamonds became available. We had a very romantic and memorable day trying on rings. There wasn't a huge choice, all very plain settings, mostly yellow gold. I had thought I would like a solitaire but found that a 3 stone style suited me best. I love my ring and have never wished to change it, it has proved to be very robust and it suits my lifestyle.

 

[missy]

It was a complete surprise and the proposal was romantic and perfect. The ring was lovely and to be completely transparent I had never even given a thought to the ring because I was not in the marrying frame of mind at that stage in my life nor did I ever think I would be. So I had never even given engagement rings a thought. So it would not have been any different if he had asked me beforehand because I didn't know what I would have wanted and in fact it took many years to figure it out but I enjoyed the bling search (and still enjoy searching and hunting for bling still) all those years.

Surprising me with a proposal while not good for most people IMO was the best way my dh could have ever done it for us. Had he discussed it with me (as he tried doing 2 years before he proposed) I would have shut him down and who knows what would have happened. Which goes to show how well he knows me and knew me even back then. When he did propose I admit I had hugely mixed feelings and felt a bit sick (though we had been dating for over 4 years at that point) as I didn't want to marry anyone ever. It took time to acclimate to the thought of marriage but I accepted his proposal because I knew that one has to take (smart) risks in life to make life worthwhile and standing still isn't always the best way to live one's life. Thanks Dad.

So while the ring and proposal were a complete surprise to me and the ring while lovely (Tiffany style platinum 4 prong solitaire) turned out not to be the final ring the proposal experience was just perfect in every way at that time. I had no clue what I would have wanted for a ring anyway so though we lost money over the years as I changed the setting and changed the diamond a few times, well, all I can say is I kept the same dh and never once thought about upgrading or changing him.
In the end all that matters (to me) is you are spend your life with the one you love and the material stuff is all just extra and not important.

 

[Calliecake]

I didn't have one!

Don't feel bad Austina. I didn't either! LOL

 

[OoohShiny]

I can't vote as this vote appears to be aimed at straight women and gay/bi/transgender men only

I call discrimination!! lol

 

[lyra]

I won't share my engagement story here. Rest assured, our grown kids have heard it many times and use it as the extreme example of "what not to do when getting engaged". On the other hand, it definitely sets their expectations very low, so there's that. And yes, it's something we totally joke about now. No one has ever beat my story. Just imagine the least romantic thing ever. Mine beats that. But it's 35 years this year, so I don't think it matters. Plus, I got to pick out my own ring, which made me happy although I never gave it a second thought. I thought everyone did that.

 

[Matthews1127]

I can't vote as this vote appears to be aimed at straight women and gay/bi/transgender men only

I call discrimination!! lol

lol!!! All are welcome, here. You can switch things around to fit your situation!! You are welcome to share!!

 

[Matthews1127]

I won't share my engagement story here. Rest assured, our grown kids have heard it many times and use it as the extreme example of "what not to do when getting engaged". On the other hand, it definitely sets their expectations very low, so there's that. And yes, it's something we totally joke about now. No one has ever beat my story. Just imagine the least romantic thing ever. Mine beats that. But it's 35 years this year, so I don't think it matters. Plus, I got to pick out my own ring, which made me happy although I never gave it a second thought. I thought everyone did that.

35 years later & you can still tell the tale, together!! That's what matters!!!

 

[OoohShiny]

lol!!! All are welcome, here. You can switch things around to fit your situation!! You are welcome to share!!

lol

In that case, vote cast from the PoV of the good lady

 

[Matthews1127]

lol

In that case, vote cast from the PoV of the good lady

*Yay!* I'm certain your story is a lovely one, too!!

 

[AprilBaby]

1979, shopped together and then he went back and purchased.

 

[Dancing Fire]

In the end all that matters (to me) is you are spend your life with the one you love and the material stuff is all just extra and not important.

Now you tell me?...where were you 30 yrs ago???...

 

[BrimstoneTwo]

I won't share my engagement story here. Rest assured, our grown kids have heard it many times and use it as the extreme example of "what not to do when getting engaged". On the other hand, it definitely sets their expectations very low, so there's that. And yes, it's something we totally joke about now. No one has ever beat my story. Just imagine the least romantic thing ever. Mine beats that. But it's 35 years this year, so I don't think it matters. Plus, I got to pick out my own ring, which made me happy although I never gave it a second thought. I thought everyone did that.

But wait. Now we are all curious! Or at least I am

 

[lyra]

"Your ring is in the glove compartment." That's it.

PS. It's totally okay to laugh.

 

[BlingDreams]

"Your ring is in the glove compartment." That's it.

PS. It's totally okay to laugh.

OMG. You're right. That might be the most lack-luster proposal I've ever heard of. It's even below, "So, uh, you wanna get married or what?"

But look at you 30+ years later!

 

[BrimstoneTwo]

OMG. I totally laughed but I also love the sheer confidence!

Congratulations on all your years! Fantastic story!

 

[lyra]

To be fair, he says he was just excited for me to see the ring. We were so young. I've never shared this story in public before, lol. And the icing on this cake of life together: he says I'm the unsentimental one!

 

[BrimstoneTwo]

Awwwww! He sounds like a keeper.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

My Dad picked it out since he was a jeweller. My DH and I briefly discussed a "ring"; either a solitaire or a three stone ring. My Dad believed the value was better in a solitaire--so that is what I got. My DH saw it a few hours before he gave it to me--since he lived in a different city and I was still living at home.

I knew something was up because before we went out to dinner, my Mom said to me "Are you WEARING thaaaaat"? (in a tone...so I just knew).....

When I was proposed to, I looked at the ring....then promptly looped it! Pretty classy.......

cheers--Sharon

 

[Austina]

Another car proposal, but no ring . My DH had started to look at houses, and just said that he thought I might want to move in with him, as a g/f or wife, whatever I wanted. Who says romance is dead! 39 years for us.

 

[elle_71125]

We talked a lot about marriage and I was very open with what I liked. We did end up shopping together but I don't feel like I missed out on the "surprise." The proposal was the surprise.

I have changed my opinion on rings a lot since then. I only ever wanted a marquis cut diamond. Now days, I'm so much more in love with colored gems (and I don't even like marquis diamonds anymore). Luckily, I have a husband whose happy to spoil me. I can't say getting to wear a different ring on my finger every day has been a hardship.