Wedding Who should walk me down the aisle...?

[PearlDahhhling]

So I know obviously this is a decision I will have to make on my own, but I just wanted some opinions/advice. I just read the thread in LIW about who will walk you down the aisle and it got me wondering about who will walk ME down...

My parents got divorced when I was 7 and my mom and I moved to a different state. She basically raised me, but I did see my dad about every 2-3 months growing up. Although, my dad and I never really had a typical father/daughter relationship. He was the "fun" parent and when he would come to visit we would go to amusement parks or things like that. He was never the one to discipline or make any big decisions or anything like that.

Now on the other hand, although my mom raised me, we don''t have the greatest relationship. Our personalities really clash and she''s a very negative person. We often fight more than get along, but she is my mother...

So I''m conflicted. I could just go with tradition and have my dad walk me down. I know it would mean a lot to him, but I''m wondering if it would piss off my mom. I could have them both walk me down, but I don''t really know if I like that idea? I could always walk by myself..? I''m not sure if I would want just my mom to walk me because my dad is paying for a lot of the wedding and I don''t think it would be nice to leave him out and choose her. But I don''t really want to "choose" one parent over the other... Gah! Should I just stick with tradition? Walk alone? WHAT!?!?

 

[mommy2iz]

i say whomever you want!!!!!!! forget about pissing people off. forget about who''s paying for what. forget about who might get their feelings hurt. this is your day. what do you want?
my personal opinion - walk by yourself, as the strong independent woman you''ve become, in thanks to both parents. best of luck!!!!!

 

[katamari]

How traditional is your ceremony going to be? That could be something to take into consideration. If my dad was paying and I knew it was important to him, I honestly would have him do it--especially if my ceremony was otherwise traditional. Otherwise, you could always walk yourself and incorporate a part into the ceremony where all parents offer their blessing at the beginning where the "giving away" would happen.

 

[diamondfan]

I lost my dad as a kid so I had my grandfather (his dad) whom I loved a lot, plus my mom''s brother. I skipped my mom to avoid the step dad issue. I also asked my uncle who had no daughters, he is my mom''s brother so he represented her side nicely AND since he did not have daughters it was not conflicting. My other uncles had daughters who were not married and so it meant that they would have walked me down the aisle before their own daughters.

I say have who you want. If you can have both, if they can manage that for a few moments, do it.

 

[strmrdr]

close your eyes count to 10 thinking of nothing else buy counting them open your eyes and say the name of the person you want to walk you down the aisle.

 

[Ibiddie]

My father died five years ago, so I''m planning to walk down the aisle alone. I thought about asking my mother, but it''s a father''s place and I don''t want anyone to take his place. If it would mean alot to your father, I can''t imagine your mother being offended that you went with tradition. Your father''s role in your life may not have been traditional, but he IS still your father. If you WANT your mother there, I''m sure your father would understand. But you should make the decision based on what feels right to you. You can easily justify any decision you make, so handling the situation with tact shouldn''t be difficult. It''s your day, and you''ll be nervous enough as it is. Don''t choose something that feels awkward to you just to make others happy.

 

[pocahontas]

I think you've got to do what's going to make you happy. A decision like this shouldn't be based on who is footing the bill, or whose feelings are going to be hurt, ya know? That said, one compromise might be to have your mom walk you half way down the aisle at which point your dad takes over and ulitmately "gives you away" to FI. Good luck with your decision.

 

[noelwr]

I think the right thing to do is to ask them both.

even though your mom and you fight a lot, do remember that she raised you on her own which is a tough job - so in other words she loves you. and even though you didn''t have the traditional father-daughter relationship, he was still there always wanting to spend time with you and didn''t just desert you - so in other words he loves you.

I think honor them both by letting them walk you down the aisle. after all, it''s just like 2 minutes out of the whole day. I think in the end you''ll feel better about this than having to had walked alone to prove something.

 

[tabu]

Hey girl! I can see your frustration. I had a friend who was not close to her dad at all when she got married. But she didnt want her mom to walk down with her either so she actually had her younger brother walk with her. It was actually very sweet. So maybe if you have a brother or are close to a cousin or something? Just a suggestion... good luck!

 

[pjean]

Date: 11/23/2008 10:24:54 PM
Author: strmrdr
close your eyes count to 10 thinking of nothing else buy counting them open your eyes and say the name of the person you want to walk you down the aisle.

I just wanted to draw attention to this, ''cause I think it''s very good advice. If you ignore what everyone else wants for a couple of minutes, what do you want? I''m not saying you have to choose that person, because there are certainly other things in play, but a good place to start would be to figure out what you actually want.

In your ideal wedding, high in the sky, filled with puffy pink clouds, where no one''s feelings are ever hurt and 2ct VS diamonds grow on trees, who is walking you down the aisle?

Then go from there.

 

[Courtneylub]

I had a very difficult time with this as well. I had my real father who I was close to, but my step father has raised me since I was 6 years old. I decided to have both of them walk down the aisle together. My real father was enraged by this and it put a lot of pressure on me. I finally said to both of them, I''m walkin down that aisle regardless, so meet me there if you want to walk down with me. It''s about what YOU want. If you want both of them, do it.

I walked down the aisle alone at my 2nd wedding and I loved it.

 

[PrincessMiaPuff]

I am having a outdoor wedding ceremony so not very formal I am have both parents walk me down.

 

[kama_s]

Have both of them walk you down. My friend''s mum and dad, both, walked her down and it was a really nice touch to the ceremony!

 

[Shoopy]

Do you know for a fact that it would piss off your mom? Because I don''t think (and could be wrong) that most mothers would expect to walk their child down the isle especially if they are used to traditional weddings.

 

[jstarfireb]

My friend whose parents are divorced and have been for a very long time had them both walk her down the aisle. Her parents'' relationship is not the greatest (her mom says a lot of not-so-nice things about her dad; I hadn''t met her dad before the wedding). But they were able to be civil with each other and enjoy their daughter''s wedding. If you think your parents can handle it, I''d ask them both.

 

[oobiecoo]

My ex-friend had planned for her real dad to walk her down the aisle since he was there for her in the beginning... and her stepdad to give her away since he mostly raised her. It didn''t happen because her dad got mad and didn''t come to the wedding, but I think it would have been a good solution if the dad wasnt such a jerk!

 

[debzy103]

Why don''t you have both parents walk you down the aisle?