I know what you meant sna! When I give money (which is most of the time unless the couple has an easy-to-use online registry at a store they can have gifts shipped directly to them from) I could care less what they spend it on.
Date: 9/29/2008 1:03:49 AM
Author: IndyGirl22
I know what you meant sna! When I give money (which is most of the time unless the couple has an easy-to-use online registry at a store they can have gifts shipped directly to them from) I could care less what they spend it on.
I know this isn''t on topic to musey''s question but I also like to make sure I am covering my place more or less; I feel honored to be there and I figure a lot of people won''t be covering their plates since I am in a position to do so I will. I definitely don''t think it''s a requirement per se, but if I can then I will to try and make up for those who can''t!If you think that gifts off the registry are less appropriate than money, you''re entitled to feel that way and I don''t think anyone should take it personally themselves. I would imagine most of the recipients of your ''gifts'' don''t have a problem with it!
That''s a little strange since not eveyone is invited to the showerDate: 9/29/2008 8:31:30 AM
Author: sna77
Date: 9/29/2008 1:03:49 AM
Author: IndyGirl22
I know what you meant sna! When I give money (which is most of the time unless the couple has an easy-to-use online registry at a store they can have gifts shipped directly to them from) I could care less what they spend it on.
I know this isn''t on topic to musey''s question but I also like to make sure I am covering my place more or less; I feel honored to be there and I figure a lot of people won''t be covering their plates since I am in a position to do so I will. I definitely don''t think it''s a requirement per se, but if I can then I will to try and make up for those who can''t!If you think that gifts off the registry are less appropriate than money, you''re entitled to feel that way and I don''t think anyone should take it personally themselves. I would imagine most of the recipients of your ''gifts'' don''t have a problem with it!
I believe that th registry is for shower gifts... Its always been my understanding that you have a registry for engagement parties and bridal showers... Once the shower is over, then you give cash for the wedding itself... Giving gifts that aren''t even on the registry that you like and not the bride & groom, are what I feel is inappropriate.
Exactly. And any wedding really, fancy or not. I wouldn''t dream of asking guests to give me money should I hold a dinner party at my home, and a wedding/reception is no different.
I most certainly agree with you both, that it shouldn't be the guest's responsibilty to pay for the lavish wedding.
Date: 9/29/2008 11:06:12 AM
Author: fieryred33143
So sna, there''s an opening in our wedding party wanna be part of it?
To me, a registry is a way of giving people who have no clue what to get them an idea. Some people (around here) simply don''t want to give money. In fact, (again, around here) some feel that''s the easy way out (this may apply more towards the older generation). I am not saying that personally, just stating what I know as some peoples view. So it''s just for ideas.Date: 9/29/2008 11:00:57 AM
Author: Lill_The_Thrill
I most certainly agree with you both, that it shouldn''t be the guest''s responsibilty to pay for the lavish wedding.
I hope I don''t step on any toes here, but what do the bride/groom do when signing up on a registry?They pretty much ask for the gifts on the registry, I find that pretty tacky, the same way I find it tacky when some people write in their invites that they''d primarly appreciate monetary gifts. It''s the exact same thing in my book, however each to their own.
Where I come from, most give money and some give jewelry, but I''d never heard of registries before. It''s not like you *have* to give a certain amount, you give whatever you feel is comfortable, some just give flowers. But I feel comfortable giving what I *think* my plate costs. There are no musts when it comes to giving gifts.
First of all, you will automatically step on toes by calling something that the majority of brides in the US (and therefore the majority of brides on PS) do "tacky." Just so we have that out of the wayDate: 9/29/2008 11:00:57 AM
Author: Lill_The_Thrill
I hope I don't step on any toes here, but what do the bride/groom do when signing up on a registry?They pretty much ask for the gifts on the registry, I find that pretty tacky, the same way I find it tacky when some people write in their invites that they'd primarly appreciate monetary gifts. It's the exact same thing in my book, however each to their own.
Where I come from, most give money and some give jewelry, but I'd never heard of registries before. It's not like you *have* to give a certain amount, you give whatever you feel is comfortable, some just give flowers. But I feel comfortable giving what I *think* my plate costs. There are no musts when it comes to giving gifts.
Sna, this is just your own experience (fair enough), and does not apply across the board. Not even close.
$0. We didn't get a single engagement gift, didn't even know they were customary until after we'd started researching (when the "engagement" festivities were already over). Scratch that, we got one card from FI's grandparents. So total gift value for all friends and family: $3.50 .
$0. We had a couple of informal engagement parties, that were basically dinners out with friends. No gifts. We didn't even have a registry at that point.
~$30, all from family. We invited friends to the shower (which was co-ed), but they didn't attend as it was out-of-state. They did not send gifts (nor did we expect/want them to). We did not receive gifts from the bridal party.
We did a full Vegas weekend, jointly, with 12 of our closest friends. We all (including bride & groom) split the cost of the hotel room (which we all crashed in), which was $195 each for the whole long weekend (3 nights). Everyone (including bride & groom) handled their own food/drink/entertainment costs. Total out of pocket for the weekend was probably $350-500, depending on how many drinks they bought.- bachelor party. My firends tended to do the 'go big or go home' route... We hit Montreal, Vegas, New Orleans and a NYC for varuious bachelor parties... Cost vary from trip to trip, but the last one I went to in Vegas cost everyone between $1k - $5k, depending on how much time they spent at Scores.
We covered our groomsmen and bridesmaid costs. We felt they shouldn't have to pay for our choices, wedding-wise.
We've only gotten 12 gifts, monetary/physical/otherwise, with our wedding in 5 days. I'll have to update post-wedding, I suppose--but the vast majority of our "crowd" sends before if they're going to gift.
Ditto. I forgot to address that.Date: 9/29/2008 12:00:59 PM
Author: musey
First of all, you will automatically step on toes by calling something that the majority of brides in the US (and therefore the majority of brides on PS) do ''tacky.'' Just so we have that out of the wayDate: 9/29/2008 11:00:57 AM
Author: Lill_The_Thrill
I hope I don''t step on any toes here, but what do the bride/groom do when signing up on a registry?They pretty much ask for the gifts on the registry, I find that pretty tacky, the same way I find it tacky when some people write in their invites that they''d primarly appreciate monetary gifts. It''s the exact same thing in my book, however each to their own.
Where I come from, most give money and some give jewelry, but I''d never heard of registries before. It''s not like you *have* to give a certain amount, you give whatever you feel is comfortable, some just give flowers. But I feel comfortable giving what I *think* my plate costs. There are no musts when it comes to giving gifts.
Secondly, having a registry is not the equivalent of ''telling'' people what to get you (putting registry cards in the invite is a step closer to that). It is certainly not on par with writing ''monetary gifts, please'' on the invitation. It is, quite simply, a ''wish list'' that people can choose to utilize or not.
I personally don''t buy gifts for most anyone (except my closest friends/family), for any occasion, unless I can find a registry or wish list (I most often use amazon.com for the latter--have surprised people very well that way because they didn''t even think anyone would think to look ''em up on there). I''ve gotten plenty of absolutely wonderful gifts that did not come from a wish list or registry... some people are GREAT at gift ideas, but I''m not one of those people. So I really appreciate a registry to guide me on the couple or individual''s needs and tastes.
Date: 9/29/2008 11:53:05 AM
Author: musey
Hey now, don''t put this debate on me (the ''OP''). You started that on your ownAll I asked was WHEN you give money, what is the intended purpose for said gift of money. Not should one give money, or is money a better gift. It was purely an ''if _______, then _______'' question.
Actually a topic I find very interesting having gone through this sio many times the past few years and debated similar subjects with friends / co-workers for sometime...
I thought that the link to the registry or whatever was always included on the invite, my bad.Date: 9/29/2008 12:00:59 PM
Author: musey
First of all, you will automatically step on toes by calling something that the majority of brides in the US (and therefore the majority of brides on PS) do 'tacky.' Just so we have that out of the wayDate: 9/29/2008 11:00:57 AM
Author: Lill_The_Thrill
I hope I don't step on any toes here, but what do the bride/groom do when signing up on a registry?They pretty much ask for the gifts on the registry, I find that pretty tacky, the same way I find it tacky when some people write in their invites that they'd primarly appreciate monetary gifts. It's the exact same thing in my book, however each to their own.
Where I come from, most give money and some give jewelry, but I'd never heard of registries before. It's not like you *have* to give a certain amount, you give whatever you feel is comfortable, some just give flowers. But I feel comfortable giving what I *think* my plate costs. There are no musts when it comes to giving gifts.
Secondly, having a registry is not the equivalent of 'telling' people what to get you (putting registry cards in the invite is a step closer to that). It is certainly not on par with writing 'monetary gifts, please' on the invitation. It is, quite simply, a 'wish list' that people can choose to utilize or not.
I personally don't buy gifts for most anyone (except my closest friends/family), for any occasion, unless I can find a registry or wish list (I most often use amazon.com for the latter--have surprised people very well that way because they didn't even think anyone would think to look 'em up on there). I've gotten plenty of absolutely wonderful gifts that did not come from a wish list or registry... some people are GREAT at gift ideas, but I'm not one of those people. So I really appreciate a registry to guide me on the couple or individual's needs and tastes.
We''ll have to agree to disagree on the "purpose" of forums... What you consider a threadjack, I consider the natural flow of conversation... Starting constant new threads jumbles and confuses topics IMHO... I look at threads as a discussion--imagine a group of people sitting at a table having coffee and talking... The natural flow of conversation will evolve naturally... My first response answered the initial question posted... Other''s responded to that response, which led to the thread "jack," (although I disagree that the thread was jacked)... perpahs i mispoke with "the original poster asked about gifts," comment, but I do defend the rest of my responses as appropriate and relevant to this thread...
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