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When everything hits at once, what to do?

Just heard from the vet and Merlin's growth is benign! So thankful for good news.
 
Yay! Finally some good news. I'm glad Merlin will be ok!
That's a weight off your shoulders.
 
I'm sorry too, to hear of the loss of your MIL. I'm also so glad to hear about Merlin! It's nice to have some good news given everything else going on for you.
 
Wow, what a mix of emotions. I am so terribly sorry to hear the news about your MIL. Thankfully she is now at peace & no longer suffering. I hope you can all find strength in each other & that your children can find their way through this. Make sure you take time for yourself too. You cannot be all things to all people - make sure you come up for air.

Great news about your doggy! And no doubt your children will be comforted during this difficult time knowing that he is ok & isn’t going anywhere. Big hugs.
 
I’m sorry, @StephanieLynn

I have so many things happening right now, I want to run away. :knockout:

I’m at my limit of stress levels.
 
StephanieLynn said:
Just heard from the vet and Merlin's growth is benign! So thankful for good news.
Click to expand...

So happy to hear this!!

I'm sorry for your loss but so very glad to hear you have that good news to ease your worry for Merlin. (After things mellow, you might test water etc anyway just for peace of mind. But that can come later!)
 
I'm so sorry for your loss. You are an exceptionally compassionate and caring person. Your dh and children are blessed.
 
So very glad to hear the growth is benign! :appl:
 
@StephanieLynn I'm so sorry for your loss. You're family is in my thoughts. When it rains it does indeed pour sometimes! But! there's usually sun after the rain and sometimes a rainbow. All is not lost (hugs). It will get better.
 
Thanks everyone for your well wishes and support, greatly appreciated!
 
I am very sorry to hear of your MIL's passing. May she rest in peace.

Good news about your dog and hopefully a bright spot for you all. Take care - will be thinking of you in the coming days.
 
@SteohanieLynn, I’m so happy you received good news about Merlin.
 
@StephanieLynn I am sorry about your MIL and may she rest in peace.
Wonderful news about Merlin. I am so glad he is well.
 
Sending your MIL loving thoughts, caring thoughts to you and your husband Stephanie. I am sorry. No matter what in life happens, our mom's are our mom's. Dust to your SIL and her kids.


GREAT news about your pup.. ((Stephanie))
 
I'm not sure how to feel about this so maybe you guys can help me out.

A link to MIL's obituary was texted to all the family. In it it lists my husband and two sons, DH's sister and MIL's siblings and her mother.

I am not mentioned at all, which is super offensive because it mentioned my two sons, almost like I don't exist. SIL wrote it and granted she is 26 but I'm sure she looked up some examples.

Am I totally crazy to be upset?
 
From what I've seen often the spouses are listed after each of the children, in parentheses. e.g. Daughter (SIL), Son (DIL) etc.
Ex-spouses are not listed.

Grandchildren are either named or just listed en mass, for example: 10 grandchildren and 3 great-grandchildren.

Were you the only DIL or SIL omitted?
 
@pearlsngems, it's just DH and his sister, she doesn't have a significant other.

Also left out what MIL's longtime (at least 15 years) companion. Apparently she realized that she left the companion out but not me. It's already been sent out and if this issue gets raised with DIL she is going to lose it.

It's just embarrassing really.
 
Sheesh, what a jerk!
Being 26 years old does not excuse this woman from being an idiot.
However, since this obit has already gone out, there's nothing you can do now.
I know you are fuming, but I suggest you take the high road and not mention it to her.
You will still have to face her at family events, and if you confront her, this will create more animosity.
 
@stracci2000, I'm not going to say anything because nothing good will come of it.

However I will have to pick somewhere else for my jewelry to be gifted to when I die.....I know this cool chick in New Mexico ;)2
 
Steph! :lol-2::P2:lol:
It's been a long time since someone called me a cool chick!
I do love your carved bands!
 
@StephanieLynn , Yes this is strange. She knows her brother has a wife. You are right @StephanieLynn, no good will come out of if....just more drama. You not saying anything is a gift to your husband. This has to be hard enough on him. You are a great wife.

You are a very cool chick @stracci2000 !!!
 
It sounds like she simply mentioned blood relatives (maybe that’s what the template she worked off did). It’s not ideal, but to be fair, she did just lose her mom, and having to write an obit for your mom at 26 would be a hard thing even under better circumstances. So unless you have reason to believe that she hates you (and her mother’s long time companion), might it be best to give her the benerfit if the doubt?

ETA: I’ve seen some horrendous obits written by otherwise decent people in moments of grief. Like forget to mention one of the siblings, or the second husband, or saying poorly thought out things about the person who has passed away. These things are never easy...
 
cmd2014 said:
It sounds like she simply mentioned blood relatives (maybe that’s what the template she worked off did). It’s not ideal, but to be fair, she did just lose her mom, and having to write an obit for your mom at 26 would be a hard thing even under better circumstances. So unless you have reason to believe that she hates you (and her mother’s long time companion), might it be best to give her the benerfit if the doubt?

ETA: I’ve seen some horrendous obits written by otherwise decent people in moments of grief. Like forget to mention one of the siblings, or the second husband, or saying poorly thought out things about the person who has passed away. These things are never easy...
Click to expand...

Yes totally agree. This is a tough and sad time and while it sucks you were not mentioned this is more about the fact their mom died (and they lost their only mom) than anyone else. The death of a mother is a traumatic loss.

Hang in there @StephanieLynn. You are a great wife to your DH and mother to your kids and don't let this affect you. Your DH and kids need you to be there for them and not upset/focused about being left out of the obit.
 
I am sorry for the loss you and your family had, StephanieLynn. I rejoice in the good news about Merlin. Eventually you will be allowed to get off this roller coaster. Until then, my thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family.

Hugs,
Deb
 
Thanks everyone, the obituary was fixed in the end because it left out her longtime companion of 15 years so with that I was added as well as another wife. DH took care of it.

Today was the funeral and repast. The restaurant they selected was waterfront and beautiful, there was a slideshow of her life and during it not a dry eye in the house. SIL gave a really emotional and moving speech. It was just a really nice day, as nice as it can be given the circumstances.

So many people came to the church, it's obvious she touched a lot of people. I wish we could have had a better relationship but at least we made peace in the end. It's kind of crazy that at just 40 years old both of us have lost all of our parents (DH's father is alive but has never been involved in his life).
 
I cry. Take a deep breathe. Smile. Take it one day at a time.

My deepest sympathies to you and you family for your loss...lots of hugs.

Great news about Merlin!! That in itself was a piece of sunshine!;))
 
Sorry for your loss stephanielynn, I am glad to hear that the funeral went so well. Good news about Merlin too x
 
I am so glad that the obituary was fixed and that the service was beautiful. You have been wonderful throughout this ordeal, StephanieLynn. You are a rock for your lucky family.

Hugs,
Deb
 
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