When everything hits at once, what to do?
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I realized when I came back that I missed @Queenie60 in my previous thank you's so sorry about that and thank you so much!
@missy, yes it was very disappointing to experience that last night with the nurses, I get that it is a very depressing occupation and takes an enormous toll but it was just very unprofessional and disheartening. I too was surprised she doesn't have her own room, it is a very popular and highly regarded facility here in CT so maybe they simply have too much demand.
Thanks @pearlsngems for weighing in, granted this family can be a loud bunch but it was very somber and quiet last night with people speaking in hushed voices, you would think it would be a breath of fresh air to see someone there with so many visitors because that is not always the case. Hopefully tonight will be better because yes those same family and friends are all there again tonight and I expect they will continue to visit daily from past experience.
Thank you @House Cat for the reassuring words, I am trying my damn hardest but he started badgering me this morning about why do I look so glum. Tried not to talk about it and he pressed on, told him to just stay down there tonight since he will probably be there again all day tomorrow and he asked if I was upset about him not being here for our anniversary, well my response was we are not celebrating our anniversary this year. Realized after that I didn't say that because he won't be here but because there is just too much going on. I am very upset about my dog, nobody else is thinking about him (which is understandable) except for me, preparing for the worst and trying to keep hope that it won't be cancer. However I haven't said anything to him about the dog but yes I am sad that less than a year after we lost Fiona we may now be losing another dog. Not in a celebrating mood.
Thank you @cmd2014 I can honestly say I'm doing my best and maybe most important is the kids are still in a routine and taken care of and I've been encouraging him to just stay down there rather than drive back and forth. Honestly I kind of do not know what to do or how to act when he is here which sounds so strange but it's true.
@HappyNewLife, thank you so much, I'll take all the hugs I can get.
@missy, yes it was very disappointing to experience that last night with the nurses, I get that it is a very depressing occupation and takes an enormous toll but it was just very unprofessional and disheartening. I too was surprised she doesn't have her own room, it is a very popular and highly regarded facility here in CT so maybe they simply have too much demand.
Thanks @pearlsngems for weighing in, granted this family can be a loud bunch but it was very somber and quiet last night with people speaking in hushed voices, you would think it would be a breath of fresh air to see someone there with so many visitors because that is not always the case. Hopefully tonight will be better because yes those same family and friends are all there again tonight and I expect they will continue to visit daily from past experience.
Thank you @House Cat for the reassuring words, I am trying my damn hardest but he started badgering me this morning about why do I look so glum. Tried not to talk about it and he pressed on, told him to just stay down there tonight since he will probably be there again all day tomorrow and he asked if I was upset about him not being here for our anniversary, well my response was we are not celebrating our anniversary this year. Realized after that I didn't say that because he won't be here but because there is just too much going on. I am very upset about my dog, nobody else is thinking about him (which is understandable) except for me, preparing for the worst and trying to keep hope that it won't be cancer. However I haven't said anything to him about the dog but yes I am sad that less than a year after we lost Fiona we may now be losing another dog. Not in a celebrating mood.
Thank you @cmd2014 I can honestly say I'm doing my best and maybe most important is the kids are still in a routine and taken care of and I've been encouraging him to just stay down there rather than drive back and forth. Honestly I kind of do not know what to do or how to act when he is here which sounds so strange but it's true.
@HappyNewLife, thank you so much, I'll take all the hugs I can get.
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This was some happy in my day today, there was an art show at the local college today showcasing art in our city from grades 1-12. Our son who is in 6th had his piece selected to be in the show, the funny thing is he didn't really create it intentionally he just winged it and this is what it became. Please ignore his hair we are growing it out a bit to try a different style than a buzz cut!
His art is the foil picture and then I got to snap a pic of a student's clay art Snoopy before my phone died.
His art is the foil picture and then I got to snap a pic of a student's clay art Snoopy before my phone died.
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Great artwork! Reminds me of Edvard Munch's "The Scream"This was some happy in my day today, there was an art show at the local college today showcasing art in our city from grades 1-12. Our son who is in 6th had his piece selected to be in the show, the funny thing is he didn't really create it intentionally he just winged it and this is what it became. Please ignore his hair we are growing it out a bit to try a different style than a buzz cut!
His art is the foil picture and then I got to snap a pic of a student's clay art Snoopy before my phone died.
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@stracci2000 you know what's funny about that our son's picture that gold part above the head is a bridge and there is a bridge in the piece you referenced.
I do get some amusement out of the fact that this looks like a thoughtful piece he made but he insists it just basically made itself
I do get some amusement out of the fact that this looks like a thoughtful piece he made but he insists it just basically made itself
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@StephanieLynn , Sending lots of dust hoping your furbaby has a benign diagnosis. You have been on overload the past few weeks with all that has been going on. You have handled it ALL with grace. Please remember to take care of and be kind to yourself too.
The coming days will not be easy regarding your MIL. Please keep in mind people handle grief differently. Try to just take things an hour at a tIme.
Sending prayers and dust your way and so hoping you receive good news regarding your sweet baby.
The coming days will not be easy regarding your MIL. Please keep in mind people handle grief differently. Try to just take things an hour at a tIme.
Sending prayers and dust your way and so hoping you receive good news regarding your sweet baby.
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I agree with the others, take care of yourself and don't try to be all things to all people.
I would also consider getting some environmental testing of your land & water once you have time, although many elderly pets unfortunately pass away from cancer so it may be unrelated.
I would also consider getting some environmental testing of your land & water once you have time, although many elderly pets unfortunately pass away from cancer so it may be unrelated.
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Stephanie, how are you doing? I hope you have good news on your dog soon. Did the vet say how long until you have results?
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It has been total insanity lately as you can imagine so I'm sorry I haven't responded individually to everyone but I have read all the posts and we will definitely be getting our water tested, radon in the house is less likely because we do not have a basement but we will probably test the house as well.
Merlin had surgery yesterday and he is doing okay, the surgery went well but we will not have the biopsy results for a week. Poor guy is in pain though because he keeps whining, feel so badly for him and it is rather unusual to see him like this because he is part Aussie so they are rather dignified and independent. He is on an antibiotic and an anti-inflammatory and we are feeding him soft food for the next week.
I will update once we have the biopsy results, fingers crossed it is just some random benign growth
Merlin had surgery yesterday and he is doing okay, the surgery went well but we will not have the biopsy results for a week. Poor guy is in pain though because he keeps whining, feel so badly for him and it is rather unusual to see him like this because he is part Aussie so they are rather dignified and independent. He is on an antibiotic and an anti-inflammatory and we are feeding him soft food for the next week.
I will update once we have the biopsy results, fingers crossed it is just some random benign growth
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Lots of healthy doggy dust. I hope it comes back as just one of those crazy growths dogs can get that are scary but harmless.
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Sending you buckets of good luck dust for Merlin and continued good wishes for you and your family @StephanieLynn.
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@StephanieLynn, I'm sending lots of good thoughts that this turns out to be nothing with Merlin. I know it's hard seeing our furbabies in pain and I hope he starts feeling better soon, big hugs to you. And I was in a similar situation to you 20 years ago with my MIL, so I can honestly say I have some inkling as to what your life is like right now and I know it's a difficult (and yes, crazy) time for everyone...hang in there, you are doing great. I'm really sorry you're dealing with so much at once. (((Hugs)))
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Thank you guys for the well wishes for Merlin! He is doing a lot better and enjoying eating his new soft food that looks good enough for a human to eat, maybe better.
Something causing me an enormous amount of stress is my SIL. She is very type A and we have been talking about funeral arrangements for when the time comes. The three of us (DH, SIL and I) met at the family funeral home and in speaking with the director SIL came off as very impatient and aggressive, it was rather embarrassing. Now the latest issue is that she believes we should rent a hall for the funeral rather than have it at a banquet facility because it will be less expensive and we will have more control over everything. DH was talking to her about the hall and food and SIL came out with "well if we run out of food, we run out of food". Wait what?!
Like everything is an issue with her, nothing is simple. DH insists he knows how to handle her (basically just let her do her thing until we really need to make final decisions) but I feel like she just just bulldozes her ideas over him constantly.
MIL is still hanging on, this is Day 7 now and they had originally said 1-5 days and she can still say hi and is conscious some of the time. We go everyday to hospice to visit. DH has been off from work all week on sick time but he will have to go back to work on Tuesday. SIL who just started a new job is on indefinite leave and her employer has promised her three weeks of paid bereavement time. DH felt a certain way about this since he will only have 3 days paid and he has been at his job for 12 years but I told him that 3 weeks paid is not at all typical and not to feel badly about it.
Something causing me an enormous amount of stress is my SIL. She is very type A and we have been talking about funeral arrangements for when the time comes. The three of us (DH, SIL and I) met at the family funeral home and in speaking with the director SIL came off as very impatient and aggressive, it was rather embarrassing. Now the latest issue is that she believes we should rent a hall for the funeral rather than have it at a banquet facility because it will be less expensive and we will have more control over everything. DH was talking to her about the hall and food and SIL came out with "well if we run out of food, we run out of food". Wait what?!
Like everything is an issue with her, nothing is simple. DH insists he knows how to handle her (basically just let her do her thing until we really need to make final decisions) but I feel like she just just bulldozes her ideas over him constantly.
MIL is still hanging on, this is Day 7 now and they had originally said 1-5 days and she can still say hi and is conscious some of the time. We go everyday to hospice to visit. DH has been off from work all week on sick time but he will have to go back to work on Tuesday. SIL who just started a new job is on indefinite leave and her employer has promised her three weeks of paid bereavement time. DH felt a certain way about this since he will only have 3 days paid and he has been at his job for 12 years but I told him that 3 weeks paid is not at all typical and not to feel badly about it.
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It sounds very stressful.
My DH only got 3 days bereavement leave, too.
My DH only got 3 days bereavement leave, too.
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@pearlsngems, I am very surprised at how accommodating her employer is being, it is great for her in one sense but on the other hand it is so atypical.
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MIL passed away yesterday afternoon not soon after we got to hospice. DH and his sister were holding her hand at the time.
Today we start funeral planning. Our older son is really taking it hard, he is seeking comfort from our pets and not really saying a whole lot.
We are still waiting on news about Merlin.
Today we start funeral planning. Our older son is really taking it hard, he is seeking comfort from our pets and not really saying a whole lot.
We are still waiting on news about Merlin.
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Mixed feelings among the adults, I expect...sadness and relief, combined. I'm sorry it's so hard for your son, but it's good that he has a source of comfort.
I have lost my entire birth family over the years, and as I tell my daughter, it has taught me that such losses, however painful, are survivable, and that pain really does diminish with time. Your son will also learn this.
You have a difficult few days ahead. Prayers being sent your way....
I have lost my entire birth family over the years, and as I tell my daughter, it has taught me that such losses, however painful, are survivable, and that pain really does diminish with time. Your son will also learn this.
You have a difficult few days ahead. Prayers being sent your way....
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@StephanieLynn, I'm so sorry - condolences to you and your family, sending thoughts of comfort and strength to you. xxx
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@StephanieLynn, I’m so sorry for your family. Your family is in my thoughts. You are a great mom. You will get your son thru this.
Honey, Take good care of yourself in the coming days. I know you will take good care of everyone else, please remember to also take good care of you. Hugs
Honey, Take good care of yourself in the coming days. I know you will take good care of everyone else, please remember to also take good care of you. Hugs
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