When do you say enough is enough when trying to lose weight?

[KimberlyH]

About 5 years ago I shed 68 lbs. I quit smoking and gained 5 of them back, plus a clothing size. I exercise 4-5 times a week burning about 500 cals a pop and eat a healthy, well balanced diet (about 1500 calories a day) but I forever find myself frustrated and wanting to be one clothing size smaller (the seemingly elusive size 6) even though I am curvy and fit quite well into my current wardrobe and am often told I look healthy and fit.

At what point do you just say enough is enough and stop fixating on the number on a tag? I know I am healthy and take good care of my body but I always want more. I managed my all-time low weight for about 4 months while smoking, which is known to increase your metabolism, but it was really difficult and on a very limited caloric intake (about 1000 calories a day).

So when do you say, enough is enough? When is how you look in the mirror good enough? I am really struggling with my desire to see the number I want on a tag that no one else will and knowing that I''m just fine being who I am where I am. I am considering going on another extremely low cal diet to lose the weight but then I contemplate how long I''ll have to eat that way to stay a certain size and is that size worth it?

 

[monarch64]

Kimberly, congrats on losing those 68 lbs. and quitting smoking! Those are wonderful accomplishments!

I feel that saying enough is enough is a struggle many women face daily. WHY is it that we can''t leave well-enough, healthy-enough, fit-enough alone and decide to love our bodies as they are? It''s a question I honestly will never figure out the answer to, I think.

I''d love to type out an "I''m a size such and such and I don''t care..." type of response, but the truth is I struggle with body image issues every day. I''ve been that way since the age of 14! It doesn''t matter how many people tell me I look great, or what size I get down to, in the end nothing is ever really enough when it comes to what size and shape I would like to be. I think even if I lost whatever amount of weight I think would make me happy now, I would still find flaws with my appearance no matter what. Sometimes I think it''s human nature to always set goals and to never be completely satisfied with something when you know you could be better, but at the same time I feel like life is too damn short to worry over 5-10 lbs!

My senior year of high school I was diagnosed with an eating disorder. I won''t share the gory details with you, but I did end up in an outpatient program for three months that was quite intensive. Although I developed better and more healthy eating patterns and have stuck with them ever since, it is a daily struggle for me, even at the age of 29! I read a book during that time called Reviving Ophelia that was somewhat helpful...can''t remember the author, but it dealt with women and body image issues.

I have learned to kind of tune out things that trigger my mind to go back to old and unhealthy patterns...I quit buying fashion magazines for about 5 years, stopped using images of models as "motivation," and in general stopped worrying so much about size labels. I''ve maintained my BMI for the last 10 years, give or take 10 lbs here and there. I still hop on the scale weekly just to see where I am, but mainly eat what I want, when I want and let the fit of my clothing determine any changes I need to make.

We are definitely our own worst critics. Would you say to a friend the things you think or say to yourself when you look in the mirror? Probably not...I try to treat myself the way I''d treat a friend, with understanding and love, not unhappiness or hatred. It''s easier said than done, of course...

I also have, in the past few years, realized that my life shouldn''t be so consumed by my appearance. Not to say I don''t take good care of myself, but I''ve found other activities to get involved in and be proud of, such as the breast cancer walk (I know you did the San Diego one, right?) During the months of training, etc., I never felt better about myself. I still wasn''t the leanest, fittest person I could be, but it gave me a chance to look around and notice that it wasn''t so important to fit into a certain size. Doing something for others also did something for me--I dropped a few pounds and became mentally and physically fitter in the process. I can''t wait to do another one!

Sorry this is such a long post...I could go on and on about the issue. Have you ever written down some positive things you''ve done or just characteristics in general about yourself and read through them? It''s kind of healing--try it when you''re feeling glum about your current situation. Sometimes we just need to think about the positives to realize how very fortunate we are to have our health, even if our outsides aren''t up to our ego''s standards. Ya know?

 

[diamondfan]

I think when you see it consuming you. I think you NEED focus and determination to succeed esp as we age, BUT there is a fine line. It pays to be healthy, and to me, you have to know your weaknesses and strengths where eating are concerned if you want to conquer poor habits... I know because I had anorexic leanings a few years ago. When I was a zero, as an adult, at over 5 foot 5 inches, I thought I could still lose some weight...I was so gaunt, and all my bones (collarbone, chestbones, ribs, hips) stuck on...I had to belt my size zero pants...I would freak if there was oil anywhere near my food...my hair and nails were not great and glowing, but HEY, I thought I could stand to lose a few...and I would not listen to anyone who said I did not. I was sooo discplined and focused but it began to become an obsession to me...what could I give up, what could I NOT eat that everyone else was eating?

Thankfully I did snap out of it, I really realized it when someone I had not seen in a couple years saw me and was shocked at how thin I was...it sort of woke me up. I have bounced around abit since, getting pretty thin again about 3 years ago, and now I am back in the trying to lose mode...those last 10 pounds...I was always thin and lately it is harder. I am 41, so I know metabolism is a factor, but I also eat well and do the elliptical minimum 4 times per week for 45 minutes, burning 500 calories. I do not drink lattes (unless skim no whipped cream) or eat cookies, and I live on salads. I have been in the last 10 years a zero to a 12, based on giving birth and now am down from my high (12) since I was not feeling well with the fibromyalgia and I really let the work outs slide...I am an 8 currently and would love to just get ten pounds more off of me...anyone want it?

Bootom line? If you feel great and look great, stop worrying and put the money you would spend on a new wardrobe into a gorgeous piece of bling. (it gets crazy expensive to start buying all of your clothes again!)

 

[Cheekyprincess]

Size 8 is a really nice size! it is funny what those labels on the clothes can do to us! (don''t come to Asia!!!). I went dress shopping the other day the largest sized dress I could find in Esprit (apparently the largest size they stock here) said it was a size 11US- I loved it and wanted it but it wouldn''t zip up when I got to my boobs. I looked in vain for a cute dress to wear to xmas dinner- ended up finding one that was a US 8- it fit! (I am fairly sure I am a 10-12 US size) oh what a high it put me on seeing that stupid little label- even though right next to the US sizing it says EUR size Large.

I don''t have a magic number at the moment- being in Singapore where the clothes come from all over the world and the sizes on the label don''t mean anything to me, it is nice just not to have to reach for the very biggest size. I feel i''d like to look nice in a bikini- I know there will always be other women on the beach who''s bodies are nicer than mine- but I''ll accept that and look back at where I came from!

If you keep doubting your body you cannot be confident- often it is that confidence that makes you exude sexiness and beauty! If you worry about your body i''d say just tone up a little more and eat mainly fruit and veges, drink lots of water, hope for nice glowing skin. You don''t need to do anything drastic at a size 8 (which I am sure is that magic elusive size scores of women are aiming for!).

 

[Mara]

Awww Kimberly...I can kind of relate. You know I recently lost some weight...only 13 lbs but I went from a 10 to a 6 and recently it's more like I am getting closer to a 4. I am still working out a lot, and I have been watching my calories big time this month because of the whole holiday thing. I kind of wonder if I need to be THIS disciplined, but I am eating enough, eating stuff I like, and I don't go hungry or anything like that. I am eating more fiber, and less desserts and sweets and I lost 2 lbs this month without even trying to...I was just trying to be better in anticipation of holiday eating. and I feel great about it.

So...the way I am thinking is well..lets see what my body wants to do. If it keeps losing and changing while I am still eating enough and being healthy, and I still look Okay (and I do...I am nowhere near gaunt) and I am still doing my weekend splurges when we go out, and I definitely am (mmm clam chowder!!)...then why not? I want to see where my 32 year old body can go! Maybe it wants to push on and achieve more. Is it losing another 5 lbs? Is it dropping my body fat a little more? Totally getting rid of my little love handles (which are almost gone thank goodness, bane of my low rise jeans existence!)? But yes I don't want to go 'too low' and end up like nicole richie or something though honestly I just don't think I could ever be like that. I like food way too much.

So I guess that basically...I feel like do what makes you feel okay mentally in terms of working and eating out...but if your body is not budging no matter what you are doing and you don't feel like eating 1000 calories a day (I surely dont!) then don't! I won't go less than 1400ish calories per day and I could not even maintain that on a 7 day a week thing. I wouldn't WANT to!! So if you know that 1000 calories is not where you want to go..and that you are in a 'good place' right now, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you are working out, you can ratchet up the INTENSITY as to which you are working out, which might jump start your body to lose a little bit more. If the workout is too easy for you then you are not challenging your body. Sometimes they say to eat MORE calories than you are....which I know is really hard to mentally think about...because we think oh less is better...who eats more to lose weight?

It sounds like mentally you want to lose that extra few lbs but your body doesn't want you to unless you go really extreme. And honestly I don't agree with really extreme...that's no fun. I would try doing the intensity workout thing OR a totally new workout, your body might be totally too used to your workout. And maybe change up your diet in a way that keeps your same calorie intake but maybe you are eating more or less of certain things yanno? Like more fiber? Less fat? More protein? From what I have read...when you change up things, it's kind of a trigger for your body to start paying attention again to what is going on. And making those changes is way less intense than dropping cals to 1000 a day. Do you even workout with that kind of low calorie intake?

Anyway, just some thoughts. I can totally relate to wanting to be a size...I am close to a 4 and I keep thinking ooooh I haven't been a 4 since I was in my late teens! But honestly, if my body was not responding to what I was doing..and I knew I had to drop to like 1000 cals a day...I would totally not do it to be a 4. It's not worth it...I love food and tastes and eating. And I would not want to have to work out MORE than I am to be smaller.

The other thing is that I know it's easy to hear people like me saying 'you shouldn't go too extreme' or similar but really you have to figure it out in your own mind and be okay with where you are OR do something less-extreme to try to change it. Good luck gal!!

 

[diamondfan]

I think it is so important not to get hung up on the scale and tag sizes. It is best to go by how you feel and look. If you are at a plateau and still feel you can lose more, do something to mix things up. I have a trainer who occasionally will do that, add something to our workouts to shake up my system. I think the best approach is having a view of eating and lifestyle that is easy to maintain. No one can be perfect in terms of calorie intake or exercise all the time. Give yourself permission to have fun, one day a week (I usually do Sat night if I know we are going somewhere great)...and if you overindulge, go right back to being healthy. I went to a nutritionist years ago and just sort of follow that plan, with some modifications, to this day. Whenever I need to lose a few, I go back on it and it works. It is not counting calories, just portion control and limiting sugar and white flour. It is really easy for me to do, and is doable in restaurants and on the go, so I have no trouble incorporating it. Also, I think our bodies have a set point, and we can hover around it but if it is too hard to get below it you will know...so ease up on yourself...

 

[KimberlyH]

Thanks for all of your thoughtful responses ladies.

I keep struggling with whether or not I''m willing to take the leap in lowering caloric intake or just tacking on some minutes and calorie burning to my exercise routine just to see what happen (or just continuing down the path I''m on which is healthy and working for me if I''m willing to remain this weight). I intended to start running again but then the weather decided not to cooperate so that didn''t happen. For about 6 months last year I was eating A LOT less (oatmeal for breakfast, a lean cuisine for lunch and an artichoke or baked potato for dinner) and not exercising regularly and I ended up gaining 6 lbs. As soon as I returned to exercise and changed up my food intake the weight went away. I just feel like I''m doing battle with myself and I can''t decide if I''m being nuts or if my feelings are valid and my goals attainable (and worthwhile).

Yesterday I worked out for about 10 minutes more than usual and ended up burning an extra 100 calories, so I think I may continue down that path for a bit and adopt a wait and see attitude. I also need to throw in some ab work and free weights, that could make a bit of a difference.

When I tell my husband what I am trying to do he often looks at me like I am insane, and he''s an extremely levelheaded guy, but then he says if it''s what I want to go for it, even if he doesn''t understand it. Monarch, he actually threatened to take my fashion mags away at one point because he thinks they are a bad influence on me (wanting to attain the impossible and only 2% of women are built the way they are and can maintain it naturally and healthily).

Mara: when I see your clothes size dropping I think "I want mine to do that" too bad my body won''t follow suit!

Monarch: good for you for being able to acknowledge and work through your struggles. I can relate to putting too much stock into a number on the scale or attached to my clothing. It''s such a difficult thing to not get caught up in. I think I may 86 the mags for a bit and see if it changes how I feel. I did walk in the 3Day and had a wonderful experience. It''s good to be reminded what really matters (and what being healthy really means: physically fit, reasonably active and eating good for you things).

diamond: I think I''m too jaded to determine whether or not I feel or look great. I know I take good care of myself but that''s about it. Thanks for sharing your story with me. The money I would spend on a wardrobe actually needs to go to getting my ering fixed (a stone fell out of it last week, ugh!).

Cheeky: your advice is sound and makes a lot of sense.

So mix it up exercising, be a bit more rigorous about food intake and don''t be so intent on a number. I think I''m going to work at this for a bit and see what happens. My poor body probably just wants me to stop picking on it (lose weight, gain weight, don''t exercise for 4 years, exercise religiously, be mad because it won''t do exactly what I want it to...)

 

[diamondfan]

Kim, sometimes eating too little is not right in terms of losing weight. Our bodies decide we are not getting enough and instead of utilizing the food immediately it stores it for later, in case it is deprived. Also, it is important to understand the glycemic index of food, and how it converts to energy in your body. Refined carbs give you a burst and then a big drop, and complex carbs, especially when combined with protein, give an initial burst and then a more sustained energy. That is why eating a candy bar at 4:00 pm (my bad time, and a bad time for lots of people) will give you an influx of energy but will not keep you going long term. I know a lot of people really think the combo of foods eaten and when make a difference too...I eat late and work out late, but that does not work for all people, but I am a night owl so it works for me. Also, as I am sure you know, water is great, sometimes what we interpret as hunger is really thirst and if you drink a glass or two of water it can help. I am addicted to Aquafina flavor splash and drink it all day. It helps take the edge off. I also drink WHILE I am on the elliptical, it helps me go 45 minutes pretty easily, and it replaces what I am sweating out. I think you will find the balance, it can take time, I just knew I wanted to be able to eat reasonably well and not have to run 5 miles every day to maintain myself...I am at a good place with the food/exercise ratio so far...

 

[KimberlyH]

My food and water consumption are on a good track, we only cook with small amounts of olive oil, never cook with butter, eat lots of fresh veggies and fruits, we have salad for dinner every night with some sort of meat (usually chicken) or pasta, it''s almost always a low-cal recipe from cooking light; the one thing that''s missing from my diet is fish but I just don''t like the taste of it no matter how hard I try (with the exception of crab cakes and fried shrimp which are not on my list of edibles). I am not a snacker, perhaps once or twice a week I will and if I do it it''s a palmful of walnuts or almonds, not junk food. I don''t drink anything but water throughout the day and I typically have a small glass of wine with dinner, which I include in my calorie count. We go out once a week for dinner and I''ll usually splurge a bit then but for the rest of the week I am on track in regards to eating.

 

[diamondfan]

Well, to me then, it sounds like you are doing everything right. I would not worry about numbers and sizes then, since there reallly does not seem to e alot more that you could do sensibly and lose weight...you are avoiding all the pitfalls and have healthy habits...do you do any strength training at all? It helps build lean muscle which weighs a bit more than fat but your body shape will change too...it also helps burn fat and utilize food energy better, the more lean muscle that you have...

 

[Mara]

kim you may also want to talk to a personal trainer...if you want to invest in it, they might be able to give you some insight as to how your body works or try a few things to see if they work. i worked out 2-3 times a week and ate healthily for almost 5 months before i finally said okay what gives? i had not moved ONE pound on the scale. remember that? i was kind of discouraged but i knew what i was doing was right for my body. and then i did that detox with monarch and i dropped what, 3 lbs in a week? and i think it was more that my body was ''ready'' and also that i shook up my diet by eating the detox foods only, not going hungry or going under my caloric intake, just eating something DIFFERENT than my body was used to. and then after i started seeing changes i started being more motivated to work out more. so i did 4x a week then 5x a week. and that really jump started the rest of it. but it was that detox that finally got things moving on the scale even though up until that point i am sure iw as just converting fat to muscle because shortly after losing 5 lbs i had my body fat tested and it was about 21-22% which is right on the borderline of ''lean'' vs ''average''. and there was no way my body fat was that low in may when i really started doing this. so sometimes your body not changing does not mean it''s not doing anything INSIDE either. if you can get your body fat tested i would. it at least provides some sort of springboard for where you know you are vs want to be. you might find you have a bit more fat than you thought and then think okay well now i know that i do want to get rid of it. or you might find you are more lean than you thought and maybe that''s the catalyst to help you become more satisfied with where you are.

something else from my experience that might help you. i used to walk on the treadmill at an incline, it''s fabulous for burning calories and working that butt. but about a month ago i think i overdid it around thanksgiving and i hurt my quad. that''s when i started doing the elliptical more because it''s easier on my joints and has basically ''no impact''. so it didn''t hurt my quad like walking uphill did. interestingly enough it''s in the last month that my legs have leaned out even more. i was thinking about it the other day and i wonder if some of the changes i have seen this month, December, have to do with nixing the treadmill and going all elliptical all the time. my quads and thighs are smaller than they were a month before. when i fit into those pants i bought recently...before my quads and thighs were like ''hello there'' even when i got down to a 6. but now they are really much leaner and longer looking and i''m still a 6...even though a smallish one..and i wonder if it''s the elliptical vs treadmill. so that''s possibly another reason how you can make changes in your body...not really your size or maybe not the SCALE persay, but your body might respond to different workouts in different ways. some people swear by the stationery bike for leaning your bottom half out a bit more...i find it really boring but that''s just me. my dad is a huge cyclist and he is always very lean. anyway...just some thoughts on my own experiences. it doesn''t always have to do with eating..i know you already eat very healthily and i can''t see you making that any more strict as being any kind of fun for you. so maybe just change things up at the gym a bit...maybe get a personal trainer for a session or two. it might be an investment that''s worth it.

 

[KimberlyH]

Mara, do you do the elliptical at an incline? I feel like I''m getting a good workout at 0 but wondering if I bumped it up a notch things might change a bit. I don''t go to a gym, I have an elliptical at home, so trying different machines isn''t an option but I could go jogging. I think I''m going to try to throw that back into my routine as well, maybe split it up so I''m doing 1/2 and 1/2. I used to work out with a trainer who was also a friend so I have all of the tools (but need to use them, meaning getting back to strength training!).

diamondfan, thanks for being so thoughtful in your posts, your advice is always so sound and reasonable. It''s so silly to fixate on a number but I just can''t seem to let it go. I used to be good about strength training (I worked out with a trainer at a gym who showed me all of the right things to do) but have just not been good at sticking to it, I''ll need to focus on reworking it into my routine.

 

[diamondfan]

I think it could be the missing piece for you...I never really thought so, but have come to see it matters. I have an ellip at home too, but I got the one with the arms that move, and it does not ramp up. Now they make a Precor that does both, but when I got mine 3 years ago, they were thinking it would be too costly to offer both...so now I am a bit annoyed because it really would be nice to have both...but I think it costs about 6000.00...so I will make do!

I think you should focus on how amazing it is that you quit smoking and lost all that weight...that is such an amazing accomplishment for so many reasons. I am SURE you look great, and are maybe being a bit tough on yourself, which all of us can be from time to time. We are our own worst critics after all...

 

[Mara]

Kimberly, I mostly do it as a 0 but sometimes I end up jacking up the level from 3 (my regular) to 10 and doing like ''bursts'' for 1-2 minutes each then dropping it down again. I have been trying to do that a few times a workout now just to kind of try to shake it up.

 

[KimberlyH]

diamondfan: My elliptical has arms that move (which I LOVE!) and I have free weights to work out my arms even further. For legs I used to do leg lifts and then sit ups for abs. I HATE doing ab work so I avoid it but I need to get back into it as my little tummy is all but gone and needs to be toned.

So I just finished my workout and I changed things up a bit. I added resistance to my elliptical, just 1 notch but it was enough to burn 650 cals in 62 minutes and I picked up the free weights again. I think I''ll try this new routine for a while and see if it makes a difference.

I was getting to the point where I could have long conversations while doing my exercise which says to me that I need to push myself a bit harder, so I will just do that and leave the food alone for now as I don''t think I''d maintain the eating long term anyways.

 

[diamondfan]

I agree, do not modify the food too much more at this point. You should be breathless but able to talk while working at your most intense level. You should be in your target zone, which is 220 minus your age...you then take 80 percent of that and that should be your heart rate for most of your workout. Just moving the resistance around helps. I also jump from treadmill to elliptical and back again, in bursts, so that I am shaking things up a bit...give this a bit of time and see if it does not do the trick...

 

[Tybee]

Hi Kimberly!

Sadly, enough NEVER seems to be enough. I blame society, models, men.. anyone that I can! I have struggled with weight concepts my whole adult life, and yet have never seemed overweight to anyone. There is always that goal that just seems to be out of reach. Even when I am at my ideal weight, I still have saddle bags, or butt dimples...

My body continues to be a great mystery to me, sometimes I think I''ve found the "magic formula" and then something happens to blow that. So many outside obstacles affect our weight beyond food, hormones, sleep deprivation, stress. For me birth control pills were a killer. After I got off the pill I dropped about 15 pounds! Hormones, baby~!

Like so many women, I struggled with eating disorders in high school, I think that really messed up my metabolism for a long while, now I find that the more that I eat (small healthy snacks throughout the day) the better I burn. I think that it''s all about finding what works for you.

So I work constantly to maintain. I will (hopefull) work out my whole life. I will also continue to avoid french fries and potato chips... but never, never, never give up chocolate!

I''m sorry you feel frustrated. Sometimes a change in routine, or a new exercise will really seem to make a difference for me. I hear what you''re saying about dropping clothing sizes... no one sees, but it means something to YOU.

I hate feeling screwy about food, but I think I always will.

 

[KimberlyH]

It''s so bizarre, that after posting this I got on the scale and it budged a few lbs. I''ve been hovering at about 138-140 for the last few months and all of a sudden it read 136.4 this morning. I weigh myself sporadically as I really do try not to get too caught up in the numbers, so about once every week or two. Maybe the man upstairs was trying to give me a bit of encouragement?! ha ha ha It seems like a bit of a fluke so I''m just hoping it doesn''t jump back up, that would be sad.

Body image is so difficult/complicated/frustrating/insert appropriate word here. My dad is the youngest of 8 and all but 1 of his siblings is or was overweight. My sister has followed that path and I did as well in my early 20s and now when I see her it makes me sad as I think it really effects her quality of life. At 16 and 125 lbs. I thought I was fat, when I see those pictures now I''m lilke "if only..." and I''m sure in 10 years I''ll see picures of me now and think the same darn thing, because our bodies constantly change and reshape throughout our lives and there is nothing we can do about it.

My husband and I had another discussion about this last night as we were walking back from dinner. We went to one of the best local seafood resteraunts, and the only seafood I like are crabcakes and fried shrimp, so I had a salad because neither of those are good food options. His perspective is that I am being silly as I am within the appropriate weight range for my body type according to the AMA and on top of the fact that I eat well and exercise. He went so far as to call me "insane" (not in a cruel way) for thinking the way I do.

Anyways, I''m rambling on...

 

[diamondfan]

Yay! Maybe that will help keep you motivated...you go girl...

I am a bit over 5 foot 5 inches, and I want to be 125...my thinnest, after my second child, was 115, and it looked bad, I can see that now...but I would love to get back there, and not even so much the number, but how my body looks and feels which after 3 kids may be a memory but hey, I can try....

 

[KimberlyH]

You can absolutely try df! But my guess is you are absoulutely stunning as you are.

 

[Mara]

Kimberly, I think the men don't get why women are so obsessed with their looks. Heck sometimes I don't get it either. Greg loved me just as much when I was 13 lbs heavier, and maybe even more LOL...he keeps complaining my butt and boobs are smaller and that I am 'wasting away'. Hardly!! But to men, I don't think we look that much different from day to day so they don't understand why 'just 5 more lbs' is going to 'transform' us into these svelte glamazon creatures. Maybe it won't...haha, chances are it won't! But mentally we all have that picture of ourselves I think.

I wanted to tell you also, crabcakes do not have to be bad for you!! There is a recipe for them in Dec cooking light if I recall correctly, and also I found these amazing ready-made ones that are sold at some slightly upscale markets around here. They are called dockers (I think) and they come in a pack of 4 and they are fresh, held in the fish section of the supermarket or similar. Not frozen. They are SOOOO good. And they are REALLY BIG. You could easily have 2 as a meal along with some steamed veggies and a salad. They are 180 cals each and I don't recall fat but not that much, maybe like 4g each. Totally yummy, I got this organic cocktail sauce to serve with them which typically I am not the hugest fan of cocktail sauce but this one tastes so yummy...it's very tangy and it's got a smooth texture...YUM. I served these at our holiday party and to my family for Christmas and everyone was raving about them and asking if I made them, haha.

So anyway, you don't have to eschew crab cakes from a healthy diet. Also if you like crab, make it in other ways as well. What about doing something like crab quesadillas or crab cioppino for dinner? Do you like lobster? Did you see the recipe for the re-made recipe in Dec CL called Lobster Thermidor? It has lobster, cheese, mushrooms in it and you bake it, it looks DIVINE. There's also lobster mac n'cheese, made a more healthy way.

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 12/29/2006 12:13:00 PM
Author: Mara
Kimberly, I think the men don''t get why women are so obsessed with their looks. Heck sometimes I don''t get it either. Greg loved me just as much when I was 13 lbs heavier, and maybe even more LOL...he keeps complaining my butt and boobs are smaller and that I am ''wasting away''. Hardly!! But to men, I don''t think we look that much different from day to day so they don''t understand why ''just 5 more lbs'' is going to ''transform'' us into these svelte glamazon creatures. Maybe it won''t...haha, chances are it won''t! But mentally we all have that picture of ourselves I think.

I wanted to tell you also, crabcakes do not have to be bad for you!! There is a recipe for them in Dec cooking light if I recall correctly, and also I found these amazing ready-made ones that are sold at some slightly upscale markets around here. They are called dockers (I think) and they come in a pack of 4 and they are fresh, held in the fish section of the supermarket or similar. Not frozen. They are SOOOO good. And they are REALLY BIG. You could easily have 2 as a meal along with some steamed veggies and a salad. They are 180 cals each and I don''t recall fat but not that much, maybe like 4g each. Totally yummy, I got this organic cocktail sauce to serve with them which typically I am not the hugest fan of cocktail sauce but this one tastes so yummy...it''s very tangy and it''s got a smooth texture...YUM. I served these at our holiday party and to my family for Christmas and everyone was raving about them and asking if I made them, haha.

So anyway, you don''t have to eschew crab cakes from a healthy diet. Also if you like crab, make it in other ways as well. What about doing something like crab quesadillas or crab cioppino for dinner? Do you like lobster? Did you see the recipe for the re-made recipe in Dec CL called Lobster Thermidor? It has lobster, cheese, mushrooms in it and you bake it, it looks DIVINE. There''s also lobster mac n''cheese, made a more healthy way.

I just can''t get into lobster, I so wish I could! John was salivating at dinner last night because the entire back page of the menu was lobster dishes. I wonder if I''d feel differently about it if it was mixed in with something, like the dishes you mentioned. I cancelled my CL subscription because all of the recipes are available online now, but I''ll have to look into that as I could probably learn to enjoy it if it''s mixed into a dish as opposed to just plain lobster.

I got a new cookbook for Christmas and I''m going to attempt to make crab cakes for our new years eve dinner, along with a butternut squash soup and baked asparagus. I didn''t eat them at the restaurant because I have a book with the healthiest things to eat at restaurants around San Diego and the crab cakes were definitely not on the list. I was able to modify the salad (light cheese, dressing on the side) to make it much healthier and couldn''t do that with the crab cakes. I''ll keep an eye out for the crab cakes as that would be awesome! DO you know the name of the cocktal sauce?

 

[Mara]

kimberly i just looked in our fridge and i must have left the cocktail sauce at my parents house at christmas. so i will have to ask them...or get another one the next time i go to the store. it''s right next to my gym so i might go today (and get more crab cakes!! we can have them on new years!). i agree that many times crab cakes are not the healthiest because i think a lot of times they are fried in oil in a pan. but you bake these. and they come out YUM and very crispy after you broil them for a few minutes before taking them out of the oven. big hit.

also on the lobster thermidor, you might be able to modify the recipe to be a crab version instead. i find many times lobster and crab are kind of interchangeable in recipes...or you may be able to find a similar version yet with crab online. i love lobster and crab but i actually love lobster more mixed in with things, i don''t like ''lobster tail'' as much as i do when it''s mixed in with salads or mac and cheese etc. it definitely takes on more flavor when mixed with other ingredients.

 

[diamondfan]

Kim, a lot of recipes can be modified with a bit of creativity to have less fat and calories...I would say most but not all...there are some standard substitutions that can really reduce calories overall and the dishes can still be yummy...just takes a bit of planning!

 

[KimberlyH]

I am a "from the recipe" cook and rely on Cooking Light a lot for healthy, good tasting food. My husband is a great cook, he has that creativity you are talking about. He''s really good at modifying recipes to make them low fat for us, which I so appreciate.

I would really like to learn to enjoy seafood more as it is so darn good for you!

Thanks for checking the name of the sauce, Mara; I appreciate it!

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 12/29/2006 2:51:34 PM
Author: KimberlyH

I would really like to learn to enjoy seafood more as it is so darn good for you!

I would tell you to keep trying it....it really can be an acquired taste.

I grew up in Maine - when I was young, I liked fried clams, steamed clams, and the legs from lobsters. However, I lost the taste for all of it during my teens.

I didn''t finally develop a taste for seafood again until much later. I finally came to like shrimp when I was 30....and only cold then. Took me a bit longer to acquire a taste for it warm. I finally acquired a taste for lobster at 35. Still haven''t acquired a taste for scallops yet, but I keep trying them every so often because I find your tastes really do change and develop as you age.

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 12/29/2006 1:53:08 PM
Author: Mara

i agree that many times crab cakes are not the healthiest because i think a lot of times they are fried in oil in a pan.

I'd also point out that sauteeing in a pan with a touch of olive oil isn't necessarily "unhealthy".

Avoidance of "fried" foods historically refers to deep-frying in vegetable oil, and I agree that's not the best way to go.

Saute-ing in a bit of olive oil is actually fairly healthy, so those crab cakes may be a pretty good choice for you, Kimberly, if you make them at home where you can control the prep of them.

Doing them at home also allows you to pick a healthier binder....multigrain crackers or bread instead of white-based.

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 12/29/2006 5:06:24 PM
Author: aljdewey

Date: 12/29/2006 1:53:08 PM
Author: Mara

i agree that many times crab cakes are not the healthiest because i think a lot of times they are fried in oil in a pan.

I''d also point out that sauteeing in a pan with a touch of olive oil isn''t necessarily ''unhealthy''.

Avoidance of ''fried'' foods historically refers to deep-frying in vegetable oil, and I agree that''s not the best way to go.

Saute-ing in a bit of olive oil is actually fairly healthy, so those crab cakes may be a pretty good choice for you, Kimberly, if you make them at home where you can control the prep of them.

Doing them at home also allows you to pick a healthier binder....multigrain crackers or bread instead of white-based.

It''s so strange, al, because I grew up eating frozen fish sticks and canned tuna, two of the most "fishy" fishes out there. And now, as an adult I just can''t get past my distaste for seafood. It''s ridiculous as I live in San Diego, so we can get the best, most amazingly fresh seafood and I just can''t get beyond it.

I have a rule that I''ll try anything once, so I do always try to eat it when I get the opportunity (at a restaurant off hubby''s plate is the usual means), it was how I discovered my penchant for crab cakes. I also have always liked fried shrimp and fish and chips, but again these are all fried, unhealthy ways of getting seafood into my tummy!

My husband loves fish, so this morning we decided he would start preparing it for himself again (we don''t make it because I am not a fan) and I''ll ease my way into eating it by putting it in things, like fish tacos. Hopefully this will send me in the right direction as it is just so darn good for you. I''m hoping our plan will work and soon enough I''ll just be able to eat sauted fish. We saute a lot (chicken usually) and I don''t know why I can''t just buy into it being almost the same thing.

 

[Mara]

Date: 12/29/2006 5:06:24 PM
Author: aljdewey

Date: 12/29/2006 1:53:08 PM
Author: Mara

i agree that many times crab cakes are not the healthiest because i think a lot of times they are fried in oil in a pan.

I''d also point out that sauteeing in a pan with a touch of olive oil isn''t necessarily ''unhealthy''.

Avoidance of ''fried'' foods historically refers to deep-frying in vegetable oil, and I agree that''s not the best way to go.

Saute-ing in a bit of olive oil is actually fairly healthy, so those crab cakes may be a pretty good choice for you, Kimberly, if you make them at home where you can control the prep of them.

Doing them at home also allows you to pick a healthier binder....multigrain crackers or bread instead of white-based.

Definitely..I was thinking more of restaurant based ones where they literally are fried.

At home, you can bake them just as easily as frying them with a touch of EVOO.

These ready-made ones for me are the best of all worlds as you bake them and I prefer baked over anything fried in a pan in general!

 

[Christa]

Kimberly, it really sounds to me like your body "wants" to be a size 8--which about 1/2 the women in this country would LOVE to be, by the way. I lost 30 pounds almost 6 years ago, and since then I have fluctuated a bit but basically I''ve gained back about 5 and have settled there (I''m also usually an 8

). Everyone is different, and your "ideal" weight may not match what the charts say. I don''t think you should make yourself miserable trying to reach a number. And as Mara pointed out, most men actually prefer women with a little more "meat". It''s just us women who think super-thin looks good.