I need everyone's advice, both jewelery and etiquette wise...i was engaged a little over a year ago, engagement was called off because my fiance strayed (and not for the first time). We split up and he wanted me to keep the ring since he was the one who basically called off the engagement and screwed up, I think he just didn't want to deal with something as depressing as turning around and selling it right back and also actually wanted it to be some kind of parting gift at the same time. At the time we hadn't been engaged very long and for a while i'd wear it on my right hand occasionally beacuse i still was very wowed by the ring itself and wasn't ready to part with it (or maybe also was holding on to the idea of being engaged and of that relationship). He told me then to feel free to do whatever i wanted with it, sell it and keep the money, turn it into something, keep it in a safe deposit box, whatever. We're still friendly now and talking somewhat regularly, share some mutual friends, etc.
Anyhow, fast forward a year. Right now I've definitely moved on from that relationship, am dating someone else fantastic, and definitely not wearing the ring on the right hand at all these days obviously. The insurance policy we bought when we got engaged just expired, and it would cost over $600 a year to renew it, so it's really forcing the issue for me of what to do with this ring. I don't want to pay that much of my own money to insure something i'm not wearing.
My options are to keep it in a safe deposit box with very different insurance, but for what I'm not sure, to sell it and keep the money, to sell it and split the money with him, to just give it back and let him do whatever he wants with it, to take the center stone and turn it into something, to give the center back to him to sell or do what he will with and then use the setting for a sapphire or something or sell just the setting, etc. Basically, wide open. He doesn't give me any feedback, he just reiterates that he's the one who screwed up, he can certainly afford to pay this kind of penalty for it (i.e. he doesn't need the money at all at this point) and that he had long since written the ring off and really just doesn't want to think about it.
So it's all up to me.
What to do? I just go back and forth and can't make a decision. I don't really have a lot of my own $ that i want to invest in this project right now either, like in purchasing an expensive new article of jewelry to put the stone in, or an expensive new stone for the setting.
The stone is from James Allen, btw, so there's a 70% buy back policy and the setting is from Danhov and i have no idea whether either James Allen or Danhov would be interested in buying that back. I'm sure i could trade the setting in for something of interest in the LA jewelry district if i wanted to though. I would feel pretty icky about selling the ring and keeping all of the money i think. At the same time though, he put me through hell (i'd already bought a dress, booked a venue, hired a coordinator, etc when the engagement was broken) and he really doesn't need the money so i wouldn't really feel guilty about keeping it and turning it into something. I don't know if it would freak my current boyfriend out if i made it into a pendant or something else that i wore regularly, but it wouldn't really carry overly emotional connotations for me personally if i did.
also do you think i need to consult my current BF in the process? He has no idea right now that this is going on although obviously he knows i was engaged and knows the rest of the breakup story, etc.
HELP!!!!!
Anyhow, fast forward a year. Right now I've definitely moved on from that relationship, am dating someone else fantastic, and definitely not wearing the ring on the right hand at all these days obviously. The insurance policy we bought when we got engaged just expired, and it would cost over $600 a year to renew it, so it's really forcing the issue for me of what to do with this ring. I don't want to pay that much of my own money to insure something i'm not wearing.
My options are to keep it in a safe deposit box with very different insurance, but for what I'm not sure, to sell it and keep the money, to sell it and split the money with him, to just give it back and let him do whatever he wants with it, to take the center stone and turn it into something, to give the center back to him to sell or do what he will with and then use the setting for a sapphire or something or sell just the setting, etc. Basically, wide open. He doesn't give me any feedback, he just reiterates that he's the one who screwed up, he can certainly afford to pay this kind of penalty for it (i.e. he doesn't need the money at all at this point) and that he had long since written the ring off and really just doesn't want to think about it.
So it's all up to me.
What to do? I just go back and forth and can't make a decision. I don't really have a lot of my own $ that i want to invest in this project right now either, like in purchasing an expensive new article of jewelry to put the stone in, or an expensive new stone for the setting.
The stone is from James Allen, btw, so there's a 70% buy back policy and the setting is from Danhov and i have no idea whether either James Allen or Danhov would be interested in buying that back. I'm sure i could trade the setting in for something of interest in the LA jewelry district if i wanted to though. I would feel pretty icky about selling the ring and keeping all of the money i think. At the same time though, he put me through hell (i'd already bought a dress, booked a venue, hired a coordinator, etc when the engagement was broken) and he really doesn't need the money so i wouldn't really feel guilty about keeping it and turning it into something. I don't know if it would freak my current boyfriend out if i made it into a pendant or something else that i wore regularly, but it wouldn't really carry overly emotional connotations for me personally if i did.
also do you think i need to consult my current BF in the process? He has no idea right now that this is going on although obviously he knows i was engaged and knows the rest of the breakup story, etc.
HELP!!!!!