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What mistake will you never make again?

I haven't had the perfect life, and I've made my fair share of hefty mistakes (basically my 20's), but there isn't anything I would change because I love my life today. That said...

I wouldn't have tanned in high school and would have started wearing sunscreen daily YEARS ago.
 
House Cat said:
Having my son so young. He was such a perfect child and deserved so much more than I could give him at 19 years old. I wish I could have had him ten years later when I knew more and had more.
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@House Cat I get what you are saying and I hope you don't mind me sharing my thoughts with you. First of all your son was a perfect child and that came from you. I mean he is part you. And if you had him 10 years later he wouldn't be the same person. I do get that being older would have given you more knowledge and experience but being younger allowed your son to have a young mom which also has advantages. Though yes I do understand what you are saying.
 
Mamabean said:
I’ve never had food poisoning...but now it scares me...haha...I don’t eat seafood..so maybe I’m safe... :shifty:
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Yes it sucks so bad. It has changed the way I eat out. I am super careful where we eat and what I eat. Did you ever read Anthony Bourdain's Kitchen Confidential?
 
Mamabean said:
I can’t make it again because I’m still living with it...but letting my mom live with me. She decided to live with me way before she needed to. I flew from Missouri to New York with my Autistic son to move her out. She never appreciated anything I did for her after she moved in..and basically used me as her servant....She wasn’t that old..still driving..in great health...She just wanted to retire from doing anything. I found out many years later that she complained about me constantly to my oldest son. It caused a rift with my son because she’s cute and a good liar...and my son believed what she said. She did the same with my other son but he didn’t believe her. I had to have a talk with her and tell her I will never tolerate what she did again..It will never be the same with my oldest son..because I couldn’t believe he actually believed her. She even told him that she lied about everything...He has issues with alcohol so he wasn’t really thinking clearly and wouldn’t believe she lied about me. If I had known about this a long time ago I would have moved her to a really nice nursing home...but I didn’t have a crystal ball...She has never been a nurturing mom...and I wasn’t her favorite...but I still have her with me. I tell my one son who tells me I can live with them when I’m old...that I would definitely not do that...but I love them for saying they would. No way...
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I'm so sorry you are currently going through this :-(
 
@mrs-b - I think there are different levels of food poisoning, I've been ill for a few days in Vietnam, Thailand, and the most memorable one throwing up and running to the toilet 1/4 of the way in on a 11+ hour Qantas flight, from eating a Gluten free meal..... But Camphylobacter as the specialist said at the time is like the "Godfather" of food poisoning....
 
arkieb1 said:
@mrs-b - I think there are different levels of food poisoning, I've been ill for a few days in Vietnam, Thailand, and the most memorable one throwing up and running to the toilet 1/4 of the way in on a 11+ hour Qantas flight, from eating a Gluten free meal..... But Camphylobacter as the specialist said at the time is like the "Godfather" of food poisoning....
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A FEW days?! I’ve had food poisoning once, and the part where I wanted to die lasted six hours. It stopped right before I was going to head to the ER for dehydration. I was weak the next day, but I was ok. I can’t imagine going through that for DAYS.
 
Six years ago I had a knee replacement that was hell for an entire year. I swore I would never do the other one. When in labor women swear up and down why did they do this? It’s torture. Then the baby comes and you forget. Well I forgot. So I’m 3 weeks post op knee number two. I swear to a God I will never do this again. And I won’t forget this time.
 
GliderPoss said:
...I'll never trust with my whole heart again. Feels sad to say that but the pain of this marriage breakup is something I never want to go through again...

Also will never let anyone else control my finances either! :wall:
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I'm with you, I'll never get married again. I learned not to trust totally a few decades ago, but the disappointment of committing to and living with someone who is supposed to love and care for you, but is actually envious and resentful of you, has cured me of the last of my romantic fantasies. The only difference is I've never let anyone near my finances, and never will.
 
AprilBaby said:
Six years ago I had a knee replacement that was hell for an entire year. I swore I would never do the other one. When in labor women swear up and down why did they do this? It’s torture. Then the baby comes and you forget. Well I forgot. So I’m 3 weeks post op knee number two. I swear to a God I will never do this again. And I won’t forget this time.
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Oh my @AprilBaby I am so sorry. Do you mind sharing what went wrong with your knee replacement surgery? I am asking because my dh is getting a total knee replacement this January and I want to be armed with as much knowledge as possible. Thanks and wishing you a full, speedy and easier than last time recovery!
 
SandyinAnaheim said:
I'm with you, I'll never get married again. I learned not to trust totally a few decades ago, but the disappointment of committing to and living with someone who is supposed to love and care for you, but is actually envious and resentful of you, has cured me of the last of my romantic fantasies. The only difference is I've never let anyone near my finances, and never will.
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Ugh, I am sorry Sandy. But I am a hopeless romantic and while you have been burned before and I agree with you that it's hard to trust most people, you can never say never. And you just never know when your soulmate and true love will come along. It can happen. Not all (but yeah lots of) people suck.

In the meantime however you are enjoying your life and loving each moment and that is everything. And all the good you do for the animals. Well, I think you know what I think of you Sandy. You are AWESOME and you rock girl.

youareawesome.gif
 
I would never let an eating disorder take over my life again. I've had issues with ocd since I was a child. Later, as an adult, I had to work with a dietician due to health issues, and I took her directions to the extreme (I suppose due to severe anxiety/ ocd tendencies and wanting to somehow control my destiny?). I lost myself for several years, and isolated myself from friends so that no one could see what was going on and interrupt my insanely strict food prep/calorie counting/ eating/purging excercise schedule. I lost hair, friends, and the ability to function normally in society. I became a shell of the woman I once was, and was filled with rage and bitterness over my life. I've never been addicted to drugs, but I look back on those years and feel like that must be what it's like to be an addict. I can't remember much of my younger child's first years of life because I was so self absorbed and lost in my disorder. My brain wasn't functioning properly. Much of the care for her fell into my poor husband's hands, because I was too exhausted and out of it. He was half crazed at what to do about me. I can NEVER get those years back, and often, when I think about it I'm filled with such deep shame and regret. I think of my children, especially my newborn at the time, and my arms literally ache to hold her as a sweet baby, to be the mother that both my children needed, but I'll never be able to rewind time and do that. I feel as though I will regret that until my dying day. God is good, and I'm fully recovered. When I'm tempted to go back to my old ways, I have many reasons to stop myself. I did before as well, but now I really see and understand how much I have to lose.
 
My first knee the wrong implant insert was put in and we reoperated at 1 year. I also get severe post surgical depression and by 7 weeks I was suicidal ( honestly) from all the problems. This time we knew exactly what to doo right, bumped my antidepressant up for a few weeks before. At three weeks I’m amazing. This surgery is no joke so give him all the sympathy he needs, he is not being dramatic. Knee replacement is literally hell The first few weeks. Good luck to him! PT is no joke either but it will be at least a year before he appreciates what he has done.
 
arkieb1 said:
@mrs-b - I think there are different levels of food poisoning, I've been ill for a few days in Vietnam, Thailand, and the most memorable one throwing up and running to the toilet 1/4 of the way in on a 11+ hour Qantas flight, from eating a Gluten free meal..... But Camphylobacter as the specialist said at the time is like the "Godfather" of food poisoning....
Click to expand...

Upset stomach on a plane...my idea of a nightmare. I have Crohn's, so every time I get on a plane I think "is this gonna be ok??" Horrible horrible.
 
i didn't make the smartest choices in education/career and that started really nagging at me a few years ago - i try to remind myself i was a kid then and doing it all on my own

jewelry mistake i won't make again - getting a few small pieces instead of one thing that i really want

big ticket spending mistake i will try to avoid in the future - buying brand new - better to wait until a new laptop / phone has been tested, a house has been lived in, or in the case of a car the big depreciation hit is out of the way
 
My mistake was not pushing for a biopsy after a mammogram and ultrasound were “normal” when I had a lump in my breast the size of a grape.

Eighteen months later, the lump was the size of a plum. No evidence of calcification or malignancy was found on mammogram or ultrasound that time either. Luckily(?) the imaging doctor ordered a biopsy - only because the size had grown substantially from prior imaging.

Well, it turned out to be cancer. And a kind that is notorious for not showing up on mammogram or ultrasound. An MRI measured the thing at 10x13x4 centimeters. Not mm -CM. The approximate size of a bagel.

Yep that was a big mistake I’ll never do again. Although, after having a bilateral mastectomy, I won’t ever be faced with that possibility :lol:
 
missy said:
Austina, I am so sorry. I cannot imagine any parent not being over the moon crazy in love with you and so proud of you. You are an amazing woman and a wonderful person. (((HUGS))).
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I second that statement and I'm so sorry you've gone through what you've gone through.
 
I should have gotten a pre nup when I first got married at 23. I knew there was a chance for divorce and I should have protected myself. The financial pain and agony over what I had to give him has always been worse than the emotional. And I was so drained from the divorce, I couldn't fight for myself because I probably wouldn't be alive today if I did, and unfortunately had awful lawyers (that's another story). Anything legal is just a nightmare because I am ignorant in anything legal and it's so hard to trust anyone. Anyway, it's over I am alive and it's over. That is my biggest regret. I also should have divorced in the first few years. I don't regret the relationship, a lot of love was there and I take responsibility too in the demise of the marriage. I didn't have skills then that I now have. I just would have imagined the worst person ever doing the worst things ever and behaving awful during the divorce and design a prenup on that! That's what I should have done when I first got married. I will not make that mistake again. It's a bit somber and dark and I'm sorry. I wish someone had given me the harsh reality of how bad a person can be and to protect myself. I behaved soo nicely in the divorce. I even wrote a thank you note to his lawyer. Who does that? I wanted so badly to divorce and no one to think poorly of me. But damn I wish I had had a brain back then and I would have the fought tooth and nail and not paid him a penny. I was very naive. This is still painful and still haunts me. I just remind myself of other positive things and that gets me through. Thank you all for being there and listening. A lot more came out than I thought. This is healing. And I know others have gone through worse and my heart goes out to you.
 
ringo865 said:
My mistake was not pushing for a biopsy after a mammogram and ultrasound were “normal” when I had a lump in my breast the size of a grape.

Eighteen months later, the lump was the size of a plum. No evidence of calcification or malignancy was found on mammogram or ultrasound that time either. Luckily(?) the imaging doctor ordered a biopsy - only because the size had grown substantially from prior imaging.

Well, it turned out to be cancer. And a kind that is notorious for not showing up on mammogram or ultrasound. An MRI measured the thing at 10x13x4 centimeters. Not mm -CM. The approximate size of a bagel.

Yep that was a big mistake I’ll never do again. Although, after having a bilateral mastectomy, I won’t ever be faced with that possibility :lol:
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I’m happy you are okay @ringo865 That must have been very scary..Hugs..
 
bling_dream19 said:
I should have gotten a pre nup when I first got married at 23. I knew there was a chance for divorce and I should have protected myself. The financial pain and agony over what I had to give him has always been worse than the emotional. And I was so drained from the divorce, I couldn't fight for myself because I probably wouldn't be alive today if I did, and unfortunately had awful lawyers (that's another story). Anything legal is just a nightmare because I am ignorant in anything legal and it's so hard to trust anyone. Anyway, it's over I am alive and it's over. That is my biggest regret. I also should have divorced in the first few years. I don't regret the relationship, a lot of love was there and I take responsibility too in the demise of the marriage. I didn't have skills then that I now have. I just would have imagined the worst person ever doing the worst things ever and behaving awful during the divorce and design a prenup on that! That's what I should have done when I first got married. I will not make that mistake again. It's a bit somber and dark and I'm sorry. I wish someone had given me the harsh reality of how bad a person can be and to protect myself. I behaved soo nicely in the divorce. I even wrote a thank you note to his lawyer. Who does that? I wanted so badly to divorce and no one to think poorly of me. But damn I wish I had had a brain back then and I would have the fought tooth and nail and not paid him a penny. I was very naive. This is still painful and still haunts me. I just remind myself of other positive things and that gets me through. Thank you all for being there and listening. A lot more came out than I thought. This is healing. And I know others have gone through worse and my heart goes out to you.
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@bling_dream19 You made the right decision for you at the time. Most people would do things differently if they had a crystal ball. You wrote that letter because you are a good person. Good karma came back to you and now you are engaged to be married! You can look back and know you are a good person..even to people that don’t deserve it..
 
mrs-b said:
Upset stomach on a plane...my idea of a nightmare. I have Crohn's, so every time I get on a plane I think "is this gonna be ok??" Horrible horrible.
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I feel the same way @mrs-b. I don’t have Crohn’s but I can have an unpredictable stomach...so also worry.....especially on a long plane flight...
 
whatamilookingat said:
I would never let an eating disorder take over my life again. I've had issues with ocd since I was a child. Later, as an adult, I had to work with a dietician due to health issues, and I took her directions to the extreme (I suppose due to severe anxiety/ ocd tendencies and wanting to somehow control my destiny?). I lost myself for several years, and isolated myself from friends so that no one could see what was going on and interrupt my insanely strict food prep/calorie counting/ eating/purging excercise schedule. I lost hair, friends, and the ability to function normally in society. I became a shell of the woman I once was, and was filled with rage and bitterness over my life. I've never been addicted to drugs, but I look back on those years and feel like that must be what it's like to be an addict. I can't remember much of my younger child's first years of life because I was so self absorbed and lost in my disorder. My brain wasn't functioning properly. Much of the care for her fell into my poor husband's hands, because I was too exhausted and out of it. He was half crazed at what to do about me. I can NEVER get those years back, and often, when I think about it I'm filled with such deep shame and regret. I think of my children, especially my newborn at the time, and my arms literally ache to hold her as a sweet baby, to be the mother that both my children needed, but I'll never be able to rewind time and do that. I feel as though I will regret that until my dying day. God is good, and I'm fully recovered. When I'm tempted to go back to my old ways, I have many reasons to stop myself. I did before as well, but now I really see and understand how much I have to lose.
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@whatamilookingat You weren’t well at that time. Don’t torture yourself over things that were out of your control. I’m so happy you are well now and appreciate your new lease on life with your family. You deserve to be happy and very proud of what you accomplished....
 
missy said:
Yes it sucks so bad. It has changed the way I eat out. I am super careful where we eat and what I eat. Did you ever read Anthony Bourdain's Kitchen Confidential?
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No I haven’t @missy..I have a feeling I would never eat out again...and I like to have cook free weekends.. :lol:
 
Thanks missy. You are pretty darn amazing yourself. Don’t ever change :))
 
Austina said:
My biggest regret is being a good daughter, thinking it actually meant something to my parents - how wrong was I?
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im sad to read that
my mum thought i was the worst kid out - i mean honestly if she had known the kinds if things my cousin's were getting up to
she was always complaining about me - to everybody - im pretty sure most people knew i was the furthest from being a bad girl that one can get
but i had zero fun most of the time

in the next life I'll look out for you and we'll have some real fun
 
@AGBF i hope your feeling better now
when one is sick and feeling poorly its easy to say things that come out the wrong way
@Begonia im so sorry you were in that situation
its good your out of it now
i know being bullied at work is no fun
@mrs-b and @arkieb1 holy cow ill bewear of westfields my self from now on - lucky i never lived in the right town to visit a Westfields on a regular basis
 
Mamabean said:
No I haven’t @missy..I have a feeling I would never eat out again...and I like to have cook free weekends.. :lol:
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LOL smart girl. Honestly it didn't really affect us too much (the book) because Greg refused to let it haha. It is revealing and insightful and you just have to take the knowledge and make smart decisions. If one eats out one has to realize there is much not in our control. Gotta let it go.

letitgo.gif


Haha I just wanted to share the gif.:P2 LOVE it.
 
ringo865 said:
My mistake was not pushing for a biopsy after a mammogram and ultrasound were “normal” when I had a lump in my breast the size of a grape.

Eighteen months later, the lump was the size of a plum. No evidence of calcification or malignancy was found on mammogram or ultrasound that time either. Luckily(?) the imaging doctor ordered a biopsy - only because the size had grown substantially from prior imaging.

Well, it turned out to be cancer. And a kind that is notorious for not showing up on mammogram or ultrasound. An MRI measured the thing at 10x13x4 centimeters. Not mm -CM. The approximate size of a bagel.

Yep that was a big mistake I’ll never do again. Although, after having a bilateral mastectomy, I won’t ever be faced with that possibility :lol:
Click to expand...

Crap. Thank goodness you listened to your gut and also that you had a good doctor who ordered the biopsy. Super scary and so relieved you are doing well. Sending you continued healing vibes and (((hugs))).
 
whatamilookingat said:
I would never let an eating disorder take over my life again. I've had issues with ocd since I was a child. Later, as an adult, I had to work with a dietician due to health issues, and I took her directions to the extreme (I suppose due to severe anxiety/ ocd tendencies and wanting to somehow control my destiny?). I lost myself for several years, and isolated myself from friends so that no one could see what was going on and interrupt my insanely strict food prep/calorie counting/ eating/purging excercise schedule. I lost hair, friends, and the ability to function normally in society. I became a shell of the woman I once was, and was filled with rage and bitterness over my life. I've never been addicted to drugs, but I look back on those years and feel like that must be what it's like to be an addict. I can't remember much of my younger child's first years of life because I was so self absorbed and lost in my disorder. My brain wasn't functioning properly. Much of the care for her fell into my poor husband's hands, because I was too exhausted and out of it. He was half crazed at what to do about me. I can NEVER get those years back, and often, when I think about it I'm filled with such deep shame and regret. I think of my children, especially my newborn at the time, and my arms literally ache to hold her as a sweet baby, to be the mother that both my children needed, but I'll never be able to rewind time and do that. I feel as though I will regret that until my dying day. God is good, and I'm fully recovered. When I'm tempted to go back to my old ways, I have many reasons to stop myself. I did before as well, but now I really see and understand how much I have to lose.
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What a journey and kudos to you for making it through and thriving. I am so sorry for all you endured. Please don't beat yourself up over and over about the "lost" years. You have now and are making the most of it and got through the most challenging time and experience and lived to tell about it and to go on and enjoy this precious time with your family. Every single moment now is what counts. You made it through. (((Hugs))).
 
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