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What mistake will you never make again?

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Mamabean

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I can’t make it again because I’m still living with it...but letting my mom live with me. She decided to live with me way before she needed to. I flew from Missouri to New York with my Autistic son to move her out. She never appreciated anything I did for her after she moved in..and basically used me as her servant....She wasn’t that old..still driving..in great health...She just wanted to retire from doing anything. I found out many years later that she complained about me constantly to my oldest son. It caused a rift with my son because she’s cute and a good liar...and my son believed what she said. She did the same with my other son but he didn’t believe her. I had to have a talk with her and tell her I will never tolerate what she did again..It will never be the same with my oldest son..because I couldn’t believe he actually believed her. She even told him that she lied about everything...He has issues with alcohol so he wasn’t really thinking clearly and wouldn’t believe she lied about me. If I had known about this a long time ago I would have moved her to a really nice nursing home...but I didn’t have a crystal ball...She has never been a nurturing mom...and I wasn’t her favorite...but I still have her with me. I tell my one son who tells me I can live with them when I’m old...that I would definitely not do that...but I love them for saying they would. No way...
 

the_mother_thing

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To never say ‘never’ :lol:

I have said “I’ll never ...” so many times in life, only to be later faced with a similar yet different set of circumstances, or a change in priorities, different viewpoint or perspective, and that previous ‘never’ went right out the window. For example, I said (regarding my WF ES) I’d never upgrade and lookie there at my avatar ...:shifty:
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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27,496
To never say ‘never’ :lol:

I have said “I’ll never ...” so many times in life, only to be later faced with a similar yet different set of circumstances, or a change in priorities, different viewpoint or perspective, and that previous ‘never’ went right out the window. For example, I said (regarding my WF ES) I’d never upgrade and lookie there at my avatar ...:shifty:
LOL I think many of us are in the same boat re upgrades. As in "this is my forever stone" I swear and then...
:lol:

But seriously yes for me Bubbalah *is* my forever stone.
Though when we got Bea I said to my DH I will never ask for another ER diamond again. Bwahaha :P2
But in my defense I meant it at the time.
We don't know what we don't know yanno?
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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I can’t make it again because I’m still living with it...but letting my mom live with me. She decided to live with me way before she needed to. I flew from Missouri to New York with my Autistic son to move her out. She never appreciated anything I did for her after she moved in..and basically used me as her servant....She wasn’t that old..still driving..in great health...She just wanted to retire from doing anything. I found out many years later that she complained about me constantly to my oldest son. It caused a rift with my son because she’s cute and a good liar...and my son believed what she said. She did the same with my other son but he didn’t believe her. I had to have a talk with her and tell her I will never tolerate what she did again..It will never be the same with my oldest son..because I couldn’t believe he actually believed her. She even told him that she lied about everything...He has issues with alcohol so he wasn’t really thinking clearly and wouldn’t believe she lied about me. If I had known about this a long time ago I would have moved her to a really nice nursing home...but I didn’t have a crystal ball...She has never been a nurturing mom...and I wasn’t her favorite...but I still have her with me. I tell my one son who tells me I can live with them when I’m old...that I would definitely not do that...but I love them for saying they would. No way...
Aww Joanne, is it bad that I laughed reading your first sentence, "I can’t make it again because I’m still living with it". At least you did it from a place of unconditional love and caring. No one could or should fault you for that. You can only be the wonderful nurturing person you are and sadly your mother isn't as kind and generous as you are. But you are doing it from the goodness of your heart. You are a better person than I am because no way could I ever live with either parent. Ever. It was hard enough when I was an adolescent. Hang in there Joanne. I wish I had a solution for you. Except to ask your sibling to help out.


And I want to add how sorry I am about your son and the rift your mom caused between you and your son. Devastating. :(
 
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Mamabean

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Aww Joanne, is it bad that I laughed reading your first sentence, "I can’t make it again because I’m still living with it". At least you did it from a place of unconditional love and caring. No one could or should fault you for that. You can only be the wonderful nurturing person you are and sadly your mother isn't as kind and generous as you are. But you are doing it from the goodness of your heart. You are a better person than I am because no way could I ever live with either parent. Ever. It was hard enough when I was an adolescent. Hang in there Joanne. I wish I had a solution for you. Except to ask your sibling to help out.


And I want to add how sorry I am about your son and the rift your mom caused between you and your son. Devastating. :(
@missy...It is funny! If I didn’t have a sense of humor about it I would lose my mind. When my husband calls on the phone..I sometimes answer with..”Hello..Joanne’s Care Facility!” We laugh about it because I have my mom, David with Autism..and a dog with vomiting issues and just recently D. It’s like a sitcom..truly..
Unfortunately my two brothers are passed so it’s just me...but my husband is my rock...
 

missy

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@missy...It is funny! If I didn’t have a sense of humor about it I would lose my mind. When my husband calls on the phone..I sometimes answer with..”Hello..Joanne’s Care Facility!” We laugh about it because I have my mom, David with Autism..and a dog with vomiting issues and just recently D. It’s like a sitcom..truly..
Unfortunately my two brothers are passed so it’s just me...but my husband is my rock...
So true! About maintaining a sense of humor. And also thank goodness for our guys.
I’m sorry about your brothers :cry2:
 

Mamabean

Ideal_Rock
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LOL I think many of us are in the same boat re upgrades. As in "this is my forever stone" I swear and then...
:lol:

But seriously yes for me Bubbalah *is* my forever stone.
Though when we got Bea I said to my DH I will never ask for another ER diamond again. Bwahaha :P2
But in my defense I meant it at the time.
We don't know what we don't know yanno?
That’s true...I recently said I would never trade in my diamond ...and I didn’t..I had the money at the time but decided to reset it instead. Now the money isn’t there...haha...but if I had another chance I would rethink it... :shifty:
 

Mamabean

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PreRaphaelite

Brilliant_Rock
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I‘ll never work without a signed contract. I come from a family of lawyers, and took graduate level coursework on contracts for risk management in my industry, so I’m not unaware of how important they are. But last week, a company I’ve worked for previously developed a cavalier attitude about our upcoming program.... and here I am 48 hours before launch, and I’m still waiting.

There are other ‘Amateur Hour’ stunts they’ve pulled too, but none of them affects me until they send me back their signature. If they don’t sign, I don’t work, and I have zero liability.

When I was young and dumb, I would probably have put up with it, done the work, and hoped for a check.
 

Mamabean

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missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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@missy Do you have one?
Haha mine is so simple and you probably could guess it. When we adopted Oliver if only I knew about ringworm. It goes to the statement-you don’t know what you don’t know. If we had known anything about RW we would have kept Oliver quarantined for a full month. Instead the vet ophthalmologist told us (after a 3 week isolation and treatment for an eye ulcer) ok he’s good to integrate with his kitty siblings. If only one of us had noticed his bare spot on the hind leg. Or if only we had known anything about RW we would have kept the outbreak to Oliver only. He was only out with the other cats for hours and bam everyone got it. And you know the rest. Fred is doing very poorly. They whoever they are said RW never killed a cat. Ok well “they” never saw Fred. :(


Before RW gate however I would have not really had an answer to this question. Because out of most mistakes good has come. I never would have met greg let alone marry him if I hadn’t made “mistakes “ the whole way.


But sadly this one mistake has cost our kitties much and just might cost our Fred his life. :(

Thank you for asking Joanne.


And if there is a next time you can bet any cat we rescue we will quarantine for a full month and do a toothbrush test also!
 

Mamabean

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Haha mine is so simple and you probably could guess it. When we adopted Oliver if only I knew about ringworm. It goes to the statement-you don’t know what you don’t know. If we had known anything about RW we would have kept Oliver quarantined for a full month. Instead the vet ophthalmologist told us (after a 3 week isolation and treatment for an eye ulcer) ok he’s good to integrate with his kitty siblings. If only one of us had noticed his bare spot on the hind leg. Or if only we had known anything about RW we would have kept the outbreak to Oliver only. He was only out with the other cats for hours and bam everyone got it. And you know the rest. Fred is doing very poorly. They whoever they are said RW never killed a cat. Ok well “they” never saw Fred. :(


Before RW gate however I would have not really had an answer to this question. Because out of most mistakes good has come. I never would have met greg let alone marry him if I hadn’t made “mistakes “ the whole way.


But sadly this one mistake has cost our kitties much and just might cost our Fred his life. :(

Thank you for asking Joanne.


And if there is a next time you can bet any cat we rescue we will quarantine for a full month and do a toothbrush test also!
I knew that was what you would pick. You didn’t say you wouldn’t take Oliver..You just would quarantine him until you knew he was RW free. I’m so sorry about Fred..He's such a sweetheart..
 

Tekate

Ideal_Rock
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5,708
Not joining the Peace Corps back in 1971. My new boyfriend literally begged me to not do it, but I wanted to, I wanted to really do something I felt would make a difference for others less fortunate than I was in this world. But boyz rule and girlfriends drool and I didn't do it.. I regret it to this day. :) aside from my life with hubster, my kids, granddaughter, the best thing I ever did was buy Daisy from the horrible puppy mill people and adopt Salley dog, both those 2 animals have made me a better person, Daisy I made amends to a great being (god, yahweh, the flying spaghetti monster, take a pick!) for the animals my parents did not treat well or poorly, they were not good animal owners/parents, I hated it when I was a kid and did what I could but my mom was mean to our animals and my Dad was never around and liked cats not dogs. Daisy was so sick her whole 13 years but I did all and everything money, me, time our family could do to make her life livable and Salley? she's just wonderful and makes me happy every day.. xo

added after: I married that boyfriend and he cheated, lied and was an over all *******, divorce can be beautiful.
 
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missy

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I knew that was what you would pick. You didn’t say you wouldn’t take Oliver..You just would quarantine him until you knew he was RW free. I’m so sorry about Fred..He's such a sweetheart..
Thanks Joanne. No, we would still take Oliver. In my gut I know he would have lost his eye if not for us. And who knows who would have adopted him if we didn’t.

We went through it all to save his eye. I had to literally beg and cry to get him a sooner appt with the vet ophthalmologist. There are only 2 in all of Monmouth county (and a scarcity in NYC too) and suffice to say the vet ophthalmologist said if I hadn’t brought him in when I did (not on the scheduled day) he would have lost the eye. Mind you I had called every single day for an opening as I knew his eye couldn't last but I couldn't get a sooner appt. So we just brought him in to the hospital one morning first thing and I pleaded for him to be seen by her. At first the staff said there was nothing they could do though they were sympathetic but after I started bawling my eyes out blubbering he was going to lose his eye they took pity and said they would ask her when she came in (as we had come super early) if she could do anything. Thank goodness it worked out . And we had to be vigilant to save it. Took round the clock meds (a number of meds) for weeks and weeks to start seeing improvement. Lol sounds familiar no? Though this time, with RW, I don’t feel as hopeful yet. RW is kicking our proverbial butts.

So no, Greg and I don't regret adopting and saving Oliver. Rather I regret not knowing RW even existed and certainly not having a clue about how awful it is in cats. I come away from this a bit wiser but much more weary as in tired and run down and just praying we can get our cats through this to a happier time.
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Love the question, Missy. I would have to say that I would never again buy a llama!
I don’t have many regrets in life, so I thought of the silliest one I could.
LOL I hear you. Llamas sure can spit a distance and one doesn't want to be within their spitting range. :P2
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Not joining the Peace Corps back in 1971. My new boyfriend literally begged me to not do it, but I wanted to, I wanted to really do something I felt would make a difference for others less fortunate than I was in this world. But boyz rule and girlfriends drool and I didn't do it.. I regret it to this day. :) aside from my life with hubster, my kids, granddaughter, the best thing I ever did was buy Daisy from the horrible puppy mill people and adopt Salley dog, both those 2 animals have made me a better person, Daisy I made amends to a great being (god, yahweh, the flying spaghetti monster, take a pick!) for the animals my parents did not treat well or poorly, they were not good animal owners/parents, I hated it when I was a kid and did what I could but my mom was mean to our animals and my Dad was never around and liked cats not dogs. Daisy was so sick her whole 13 years but I did all and everything money, me, time our family could do to make her life livable and Salley? she's just wonderful and makes me happy every day.. xo

added after: I married that boyfriend and he cheated, lied and was an over all *******, divorce can be beautiful.
True dat! And you are the best human and fur baby momma, grandmother, wife, daughter, sister and aunt anyone could ever be. Truly the best Kate the Great. XOXO.
 

Mamabean

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True dat! And you are the best human and fur baby momma, grandmother, wife, daughter, sister and aunt anyone could ever be. Truly the best Kate the Great. XOXO.
I agree! =)2
 

Mamabean

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LOL I hear you. Llamas sure can spit a distance and one doesn't want to be within their spitting range. :P2
This is so funny! My 2.5 year old grandson loves all animals. He was telling me all about them when he ran to get his book Llama Llama Red Pajama. He asked me to read it to him..He stopped me at one point and very seriously looked me in the eye and said, “Nonna..He spits but he’s a good animal.” His delivery was so funny I burst out laughing!
 

Matata

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Seriously?! ONE mistake??!! Here I sit, so anxious to come up with one mistake, and envious of those who could think of one, that I self-soothed by eating an entire chocolate almond bar with my coffee. Then came the epiphany -- all of them. I would never repeat any of them because I learned from each. Thank goodness.

Screen Shot 2019-10-22 at 10.35.41 AM.png
 

Daisys and Diamonds

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Messages
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hindsight is a wounderful thing and who knows what direction our lives would have taken without the mistakes along the way

i do learn from my mistakes ...but not usually the first time

without getting too deep and meaningfull ....
I'll never buy anything from the Mall jewler that isn't on sale

and I'll never buy an expensive piece of jewlery without seeking out advice from all of you first

once im working again ill be more careful with money and save more

regrets are not good for mental health, better to own your sins and move forward

@missy Ollie has the best mommy and @Mamabean you are a much better daughter than I
 

Slick1

Brilliant_Rock
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I really wracked my brain to come up with a significant regret and I struggle to isolate just one. I think all of my mistakes were made with only the best intentions and though maybe failed, I couldn’t do any other thing at the time.
Two things do come to mind though...regret not getting a second opinion on the treatments and resulting consequences regarding a health issue. I believe I was limited in finding a specialist dr for this rare infection and I did the best I could under the circumstances.
I would also have put the broom down (so to speak) and spent my mom’s last weeks sitting and talking with her and doing nothing else. I think denial and the need to fix and clean things for her kept me going in the weeks after I lost my dad, a mere six weeks before mom. Autopilot just took over.

@missy, you and Greg are such heroes saving Ollies eye and I know that with your perseverance, you will beat this beast. Continuing to send warm hugs and good wishes!

@Mamabean So sad to read about your mom...I always get wistful hearing of others’ Moms. I’m sorry your mom didn’t bring you only joy and love!
 

Daisys and Diamonds

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@Slick1 im sorry you lost both you mum and dad on such a short time
cleaning is a coping mechanism and you know as much as it would have been nice to just be with your mum im sure she knew all that house work came from a place of great love
 
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