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What is the most challenging issue you are dealing with right now?

Missy

Missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
56,755
I know there are many PSers dealing with traumatic events and life experiences.

If you're willing to share here-what are you dealing with and working through right now? How do you get through the challenges and what strategies do you use to make life not just bearable but enjoyable? Sometimes we use bling as a distraction but other times I realize it is a passion that brings us countless hours of joy.

So just wondering what stressful issues you're dealing with and how are you managing to make it through.


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Healthwise it's always my weight. I'm too fat. My sister died last year and for the last year I have been so bereft, so dismal and sad, I need to work on acceptance of her death. :( Jewelry is always fun for me to look at.
 
I have a few major things at the moment:

Our oldest cat who is only 11 has terminal cancer. The tumor is in his throat and as the vet put it, it's in a very bad spot. In addition he has a growth on a lymph node so he is on steroids to keep the inflammation down and at the moment he is okay. We were told that especially when steroids are involved when they take a turn for the worst it is usually sudden so we are just enjoying every moment we have with him.

DH is being demoted next year (they phrased it as they are making a new position for him) because he was asked to go to Maine as part of the power restoration effort and he refused to go. The demotion in itself is probably not a bad thing to be honest but we have no idea what they will offer him money wise and DH is our main source of income at the moment. Even though he didn't go he is still coordinating all the crews who are doing the work as well as managing the capital account for the utility which involved budgeting literally millions of dollars. He is stressed to the max so much so that I suggested he go on FMLA, he isn't eating most days at work either, he is a mess.

My weight has skyrocketed this year because of stress, I just totally gave up, I think I put on 30lbs in a year which I know is horrible but I'm just not in a mindset of being motivated to make the effort to lose it yet.

Basically getting through it just involves keeping things in perspective. Obviously it's hard losing a beloved pet but he has given us many wonderful years. Job stress is never easy but whatever happens we will get through it, the harshness of life is how we learn to enjoy the tranquility of life. The weight will come off eventually, there are worse things to be than overweight IMO.

PS is a welcome distraction as is gardening, that will be winding down with the colder months ahead of us.
 
DH is starting a new job, so there's a lot of stress with that. He doesn't know what to expect and in a way it is a downward move from his last position, but offers things the last did not, like benefits.

I had a serious fall this week, and besides dealing with the physical stuff (nothing broken!), I'm actually having some sort of ptsd type reaction I didn't expect. I fell out the passenger side of my suv in a parking lot, and drew a lot of attention. It was very painful, but the crowd of people freaked me out. I'm so afraid of falling again. Didn't expect this reaction at all.
 
My employer(a national company) is making me jump through hoops to get a discount on my health care.
As I complained about in a recent thread, my employer makes us all go through a health screening at a clinic and we must meet 5 health standards to get the maximum health insurance discount.
Last year I met all 5 of them. Non-smoker, blood pressure under 135/85, normal cholesterol, healthy BMI, and glucose.
Last week I took the screening. OMG.......
I missed the blood pressure by 4 points on the bottom number. The company wants 135/85 or less.
I got 133/89. I was so pi$$ed.
And then my LDL cholesterol, which the company wants to be under 120, came in at 121. :angryfire:
Now they want me to get with a "health coach" to get my numbers down and afterward, be re-tested at the clinic. If I pass at that time, they will refund me. Or so they say............
Apparently, I am falling apart, and unhealthy, according to these people.
It will cost me an additional 300.00/year because I missed these 2 health criteria. And my paycheck isn't that great to begin with.
AARRGGHH
 
I have a nasty right thumb - the CMC joint at the base is knackered. I have always had double jointed thumbs, but due to overuse & strain etc, the joint is no longer holding itself in place. It looks like a 90 year olds arthritic thumb, pointing out at a horrible angle. I have had the pleasure of a tight Velcro splint for 5 weeks & yesterday had x-rays & saw the Physio. It is basically gone - he could rotate it like a ball. So now I have to do funky gripping exercises to strengthen the muscles & ligaments & wear the splint 24/7. Last night was the first time I slept in it, which wasn't too bad. For the foreseeable, this is me. Right hand in a fuzzy grey & orange splint.

And.... I am unable to play my beautiful piano ;( This will probably have been a contributing factor as I have played since I was 8. It's painful & makes me feel a bit down. But I am allowed to take the splint off for things where I'm not using my hand, such as going for dinner or my niece's upcoming 18th celebrations. Hopefully by Christmas & my review date, there will be improvement, as next stop is to have the joint fused. Piano days over....
 
We continue to deal with our son's mental illness which is a daily challenge. Health wise, we are both ok. I manage the stress with exercise and keeping myself busy at all times. Luckily we're financially stable and have a good marriage. I always look at the glass as half full rather than half empty.
 
It's a pretty rough time for me right now.

My husband has been battling depression and anxiety for years and is no longer coping. We have an appointment next week on Wednesday with his doctor and hopefully hubbie will agree to meds. He has a counselling session booked for Thursday but that is for short term counselling thru my work (EAP). We can't afford 200 hundred an hour for a psychologist.

I considered taking him this weekend to the ER as there is a psychiatric unit there but he won't go. He's worried about us getting health insurance and work issues if he goes that route. I can understand that, but...

We aren't close to my family or his, and he won't go to them. I get angry that I'm alone with this and he won't bring his mom and sister into the loop. He has told me to not get in touch with them but I am torn about that. I need help supporting him.

We both suffer from anxiety and I work at a toxic company. Home is our safe place but now I need to deal with stress at home and at work. I'm overwhelmed.

I'm not asking for anything here PSers, I just need to say some things because I don't have anyone to talk to about this. My friends aren't interested (don't get me started). Thanks for posting this Missie - it's like you just knew. You have a knack girl, you really do. Don't ever change.
 
Begonia, I believe you are also Canadian. Can you get your DH to see a psychiatrist instead? At least it's free, and obviously he can get meds through one as well. I know when my DH gets stressed or depressed it hits really hard because he is usually the rock in the family. But it can happen at any time to anyone. Take care.
 
Hi Lyra,

Thank you for writing in - I appreciate your advice, I really do.

Yes I'm Canadian. I'm not sure if we can see a psychiatrist - we'll ask his GP when we see him next week. He gave us a card for a psychologist last week. A psychiatrist will likely require a referral (which is fine) and a wait of months but we would be willing to do that. We need help right now too.
If EAP think it's a long term problem (and it is), they'll cut him off. No wonder people are self medicating with drugs and alcohol, they can't get the help they need.

Thanks for listening, again.
 
I'm in the middle of a divorce that is seemingly never going to end.
 
My work has morphed into something I don't like doing. I'm thinking of quitting and taking a year or so off to travel.
 
My rescue dog is going into heart failure and it's a never ending battle of hospitalizations and weekly procedures/labs. It's breaking my heart to see him wasting away due to his cardiac condition (muscle wasting) when we're giving him more food... I just know in my heart of hearts his time will be up before the year is over. He's comfortable right now and still enjoying life, so we're just medically managing him.

This is tough because I lost two rescue dogs last year to congenital cardiac issues that we fought hard to manage. Even tougher with Kuma because he's so young at 5 years old.. it just kills me he is going through this.
 
pneumonia and lack of work/job.
I help people out on PS and other forums more when i'm not feeling good.
That makes me feel better.
 
Mine seems quite minor in comparison to what everyone else is dealing with......older son is approaching his first important school exams and I'm suffering huge anxiety, mostly remembering what it was like for me at that age.

Looking at bling (and nice handbags!) online is very soothing and acts as a wonderful distraction.
 
My darling husband of 21 years was diagnosed with multiple myeloma in June this year - the diagnosis came out of nowhere.

He flew through the first cycle of chemo (velcade/thalidomide/dexamethozone) with no ill effects and was continuing to work

During the third cycle he started to lose feeling in his feet and lower legs - chemo was stopped and the hope was the effects would subside.

They got worse - he fell twice, once so badly in our bathroom he pulled the basin off the wall. He was admitted for his own safety and started a new course of chemo - eshap - which is 8 hours a day for four days hooked up.

He was sick as a dog and retained so much fluid he couldn’t move. He also had radiotherapy to try and relieve pressure on his spine and help his balance

He was discharged but fell again; he’s now back in hospital for his next chemo - he hates it and it was a struggle to get him in. Hospital forgot to prescribe gcsf injections so his blood count was too low to start. He is coming to the end of his second cycle but he needed an emergency blood transfusion as oxygen levels dropped yesterday.

We have another set of eshap before Christmas, then a stem cell harvest before he has a stem cell transplant in January/February next year

This won’t cure him, the cancer will come back and will kill him. He is 46, I’m 47 and our son is 20 and in his final year of university. My dh cannot walk unaided - our life has changed beyond all recognition.

How do I cope? I look at diamonds and jewellery on the internet and stare into the depths of the jewellery he has given me so centre myself! Sometimes it even works!

TL DR husband seriously ill, I look at sparkly things
 
Tax bills, all my own stupid faults and wrong doings.
One would think I would have learnt from my past mistakes.
DK :rolleyes::blackeye:
 
GK2 said:
My darling husband of 21 years was diagnosed with multiple myeloma in June this year - the diagnosis came out of nowhere.

He flew through the first cycle of chemo (velcade/thalidomide/dexamethozone) with no ill effects and was continuing to work

During the third cycle he started to lose feeling in his feet and lower legs - chemo was stopped and the hope was the effects would subside.

They got worse - he fell twice, once so badly in our bathroom he pulled the basin off the wall. He was admitted for his own safety and started a new course of chemo - eshap - which is 8 hours a day for four days hooked up.

He was sick as a dog and retained so much fluid he couldn’t move. He also had radiotherapy to try and relieve pressure on his spine and help his balance

He was discharged but fell again; he’s now back in hospital for his next chemo - he hates it and it was a struggle to get him in. Hospital forgot to prescribe gcsf injections so his blood count was too low to start. He is coming to the end of his second cycle but he needed an emergency blood transfusion as oxygen levels dropped yesterday.

We have another set of eshap before Christmas, then a stem cell harvest before he has a stem cell transplant in January/February next year

This won’t cure him, the cancer will come back and will kill him. He is 46, I’m 47 and our son is 20 and in his final year of university. My dh cannot walk unaided - our life has changed beyond all recognition.

How do I cope? I look at diamonds and jewellery on the internet and stare into the depths of the jewellery he has given me so centre myself! Sometimes it even works!

TL DR husband seriously ill, I look at sparkly things
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Sending you very big hugs GK2. I’m so sorry you are going through this.
 
Tekate I am so sorry about the loss of your dear sister and accepting our loved ones death is one of the most challenging things in life I think. (((Hugs))).

Begonia, big (((hugs))). I'm so sorry you guys are dealing with this and keeping you in my thoughts. If this means anything in my heart I think you and your dh will be OK. Sending buckets of good luck dust and health your way. I am here for you any way I can be. Always here to listen on and offline. XOXO.

GK2 more big (((Hugs))) to you and your dh and sending lots of healing dust and good thoughts your way.

Karl (((hugs))) and I agree. Helping others helps us no question. Hoping good health is restored to you soon and that you find an amazing dream job.

Resonance.Of.Life, my heart goes out to you and your sweet fur babies...sending tons and tons of healing dust and good thoughts. And gentle (((hugs))). Thank you for doing all you are doing.

Elliot thinking good thoughts for you and sending love and hugs to you.

t-c good luck with your next adventure and follow your heart and your gut. (((Hugs))).

Queenie I'm sorry you are dealing with this and sending hugs and good thoughts your way.

Lyra so sorry about the fall (I can relate believe me as I am a huge klutz) and I am glad you didn't injure yourself worse and I hope you are feeling better very soon. Don't worry about what others think sweetie. I know it's easier said than done. (((Hugs))).

Alex I am sorry honey. (((Hugs))). Hope you are back playing the piano sooner than you think.

Stracci sending you good health vibes and hope you can get the discount on your health insurance.

StephanieLynn I am so very sorry about your beloved cat's diagnosis. And I hope things work out with your dh's job. (((hugs))).

Snowdrop I get it and hope your ds does very well on his exams. And sending you hugs and comfort. You are a great mom and doing everything you can do.

DK sending good thoughts your way and hope that everything works out. Don't beat yourself up. Hindsight is always 20/20. (((Hugs))).
 
House Cat said:
Sending you very big hugs GK2. I’m so sorry you are going through this.
Click to expand...

Thank you HouseCat. It’s funny what becomes normal and what you can adjust to when there isn’t an alternative =)2
 
GK2, I'm sending lots of healing dust your way. It's terrible watching a loved one go thru something so difficult. I'm hoping you have other family members that are helping you and your husband. Hugs to you and your family.

Begonia, I'm hoping you have family and friends you can lean on to help you thru this difficult time. Sends lots of healing dust to your husband. Hugs
 
@GK2 - can you pls check in on this thread - or start a new one - from time to time? I'll be praying for you and your husband.
 
I dealing with my mom's spiral into dementia...it has been rough....she is still on her own but continues to decline :(
 
GK2 said:
Thank you HouseCat. It’s funny what becomes normal and what you can adjust to when there isn’t an alternative =)2
Click to expand...

Really well said. Having been through something similar I can say that in times like this, you shoulder on. Friends say things like "You are such a fighter!" or "I admire your strength," but what's the option? To crumple and surrender? To go live in your bed and pull the covers up? Nope!

GK2 sending you so much healing energy and positive, loving dust.
 
minousbijoux said:
Really well said. Having been through something similar I can say that in times like this, you shoulder on. Friends say things like "You are such a fighter!" or "I admire your strength," but what's the option? To crumple and surrender? To go live in your bed and pull the covers up? Nope!

GK2 sending you so much healing energy and positive, loving dust.
Click to expand...

So true, Minousbijoux. Having been through the death of my folks six weeks apart I heard how strong I was as well. I was an only child (geographically) and did what needed to be done. Just did it...no choice, only love.
GK2 sending warm and heartfelt thoughts your way. ((Hugs))
 
thoughts and prayers outgoing for all who are having troubles.
 
I had a knee replacement 4 years ago that still gives complications and now I need the other one done. I’m tired of the bad legs. Not getting any exercise.
 
Missy,
Thank you for starting this, sometimes we just need to say what is on our mind or happening in our life and it helps.
For me, I found out my daughter and her friends have been vaping marijuana wax, about a year ago I found they were smoking it and we had a come to Jesus talk. She swore she wouldn't do it again. She swore she wouldn't lie to me anymore etc...... then I find this out. I know teens try this stuff but I suffer depression and anxiety (she does as well) and I am just so messed up about this. I don't want my daughter to become a drug addict.
I know it's probably not as dire as some of the other posts but it's really messing me up and I needed to tell someone
 
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