squeaksluv
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Oct 5, 2005
- Messages
- 203
Hi everyone I''m actually posting about a friend of mine, trying to gain some insight as to what I can say to her to make her feel better!
My friend Lesley has been dating this Italian guy for close to 4 years now. He lives in Italy but because of his job he is constantly traveling here to the states. She met him through work. They even bought a home together here in the DC area so they''d be together when he''s in town (she had roommates before and he''d always stay in hotels). She had been wanting to get married for sometime now and they had had numerous discussions about it. She knew that in Europe they don''t typically engage in the whole romantic proposal idea or even a diamond ring as an engagement ring although she did tell him that this is what she really wants. She said they had many discussions about this.
Well, he''s been in town for the last two weeks for business and last night they go out to dinner in Georgetown to a crowded bar type restaurant (not a romantic place in the least). She said over dinner they got into a conversation about the house and some things that needed to be done (she lives there all of the time and he lives there when he''s in town which is about once every few months). She said they had been chatting about the backyard when he says that if they plan on selling the house it really should be landscaped. She was confused about why on earth would they sell it if they just bought it? He then proceeds to say since they should get married he''d think it would be best for her to live in Italy with him and then goes on to say how about they get married in September which is when his older brother will be back in Italy from somewhere. Lesley of course is througly confused at this point and asked him is he proposing to her. He says, and I quote from her, "I guess so, oh here is a ring I know you Americans feel you need to have". He hands her a baggie (no kidding, a plastic sandwich baggie, she even showed it to me) and wrapped up inside a tissue is a yellow gold ring with a pearl. She said she didn''t know whether to cry or to laugh but took the ring, gave him a kiss and then excused herself to go to the bathroom to compose herself! She said when she went back to her table he continued the topic as to the house and then they went home. She called me this morning and we met for drinks tonight.
The ring is okay, not something that I think is even tasteful and she thinks it''s hideous, she says it''s something you''d find in your grandmothers jewelry box of costume jewelry. It''s yellow gold, which she does not like, with a mishapen gaudy looking pearl smack in the center, like it had been glued there. Before I even asked she said she had spoken to him many times about ''proposals'' and engagement rings, especially after her friends all got engaged. When I got engaged to my exFI they were at the restaurant with all my other friends and family as a surprise afterwards. I remember talking to them about how on top of the world I was and him commenting on what a romantic proposal it was and what a beautiful ring I was given. He even turned to Lesley and asked her (I''m witness to this!) if this is what she had in mind (she said yes but she said she didn''t expect such a large diamond!). She said that night, when they were driving home, they talked about her likes & dislikes as to a ring and she said she specifically told him she did not like yellow gold. She remembers him asking her if she liked diamonds and she joked "what girl doesn''t!".
I don''t want ya''ll to think she''s ungrateful because she really is happy to know that they''ll be getting married finally but she is less than excited about the way he proposed (or lack thereof) and the ring. I know based upon our talks in the past this is something she stressed to him time & time again about how important it is to her and how much it would mean to her. She''s really a wonderful person and he is a sweetie so I was really surprised when she called me and told me the news. He goes back to Italy tomorrow for another two months and she is upset but not sure if she should say anything....
I have to say that for once even I am speechless! When I told ''J'' about it he looked surprised as well at the whole proposal and ring and asked if she had talked about what she expected and wanted. I said yes and he shrugged and then asked what was for dinner...MEN!!!
We''re meeting them tomorrow for breakfast and I''m not sure if I should even say congratulations because would he even know what I was talking about? She said that when they got home she said she was going to call her parents and tell them the news he looked at her and asked what news was that?!
My friend Lesley has been dating this Italian guy for close to 4 years now. He lives in Italy but because of his job he is constantly traveling here to the states. She met him through work. They even bought a home together here in the DC area so they''d be together when he''s in town (she had roommates before and he''d always stay in hotels). She had been wanting to get married for sometime now and they had had numerous discussions about it. She knew that in Europe they don''t typically engage in the whole romantic proposal idea or even a diamond ring as an engagement ring although she did tell him that this is what she really wants. She said they had many discussions about this.
Well, he''s been in town for the last two weeks for business and last night they go out to dinner in Georgetown to a crowded bar type restaurant (not a romantic place in the least). She said over dinner they got into a conversation about the house and some things that needed to be done (she lives there all of the time and he lives there when he''s in town which is about once every few months). She said they had been chatting about the backyard when he says that if they plan on selling the house it really should be landscaped. She was confused about why on earth would they sell it if they just bought it? He then proceeds to say since they should get married he''d think it would be best for her to live in Italy with him and then goes on to say how about they get married in September which is when his older brother will be back in Italy from somewhere. Lesley of course is througly confused at this point and asked him is he proposing to her. He says, and I quote from her, "I guess so, oh here is a ring I know you Americans feel you need to have". He hands her a baggie (no kidding, a plastic sandwich baggie, she even showed it to me) and wrapped up inside a tissue is a yellow gold ring with a pearl. She said she didn''t know whether to cry or to laugh but took the ring, gave him a kiss and then excused herself to go to the bathroom to compose herself! She said when she went back to her table he continued the topic as to the house and then they went home. She called me this morning and we met for drinks tonight.
The ring is okay, not something that I think is even tasteful and she thinks it''s hideous, she says it''s something you''d find in your grandmothers jewelry box of costume jewelry. It''s yellow gold, which she does not like, with a mishapen gaudy looking pearl smack in the center, like it had been glued there. Before I even asked she said she had spoken to him many times about ''proposals'' and engagement rings, especially after her friends all got engaged. When I got engaged to my exFI they were at the restaurant with all my other friends and family as a surprise afterwards. I remember talking to them about how on top of the world I was and him commenting on what a romantic proposal it was and what a beautiful ring I was given. He even turned to Lesley and asked her (I''m witness to this!) if this is what she had in mind (she said yes but she said she didn''t expect such a large diamond!). She said that night, when they were driving home, they talked about her likes & dislikes as to a ring and she said she specifically told him she did not like yellow gold. She remembers him asking her if she liked diamonds and she joked "what girl doesn''t!".
I don''t want ya''ll to think she''s ungrateful because she really is happy to know that they''ll be getting married finally but she is less than excited about the way he proposed (or lack thereof) and the ring. I know based upon our talks in the past this is something she stressed to him time & time again about how important it is to her and how much it would mean to her. She''s really a wonderful person and he is a sweetie so I was really surprised when she called me and told me the news. He goes back to Italy tomorrow for another two months and she is upset but not sure if she should say anything....
I have to say that for once even I am speechless! When I told ''J'' about it he looked surprised as well at the whole proposal and ring and asked if she had talked about what she expected and wanted. I said yes and he shrugged and then asked what was for dinner...MEN!!!
We''re meeting them tomorrow for breakfast and I''m not sure if I should even say congratulations because would he even know what I was talking about? She said that when they got home she said she was going to call her parents and tell them the news he looked at her and asked what news was that?!
This guy sounds like a WINNER. Have they even been in the same place for more than a short period of time? I'm always interested if ldr's that become permanent really last when the couple hasn't had a chance to build a solid foundation first. From your post, I don't like this guy either. Not one bit. I don't care if cultures are different...your friend told him numerous times (I gather from your post) about what she would like re: a ring and a somewhat thoughtful proposal. I totally agree that this guy is in essence controlling your friend by dictating where they will live and September is the time for them to get married because HIS brother will be around. It's not about the ring or lack of proposal...it's about this guy's character. Doesn't sound good to me.
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