What does "afford" mean to you?

[Trekkie]

Wow, thanks so much for all the detailed responses! It seems we're a relatively frugal bunch out here, haha. Or maybe just those who responded?

I find it really interesting how many said it's affordable if one can buy it without dipping into savings. That's really weird for me, because isn't that why one has savings? To be able to buy things? I mean, obviously I have an education fund for my son, I have a travel fund, I have retirement savings and emergency savings etc. But I also have a savings account for my 2ct diamond (although the way our currency is going, I'll probably never be able to afford it, but anyway ) and I have general savings too. You know, savings for the sake of savings. I have a budget and that covers everything from my retirement contributions to my weekly hair appointment but there's also a line item for "savings" and that's the account I use when I want something not budgeted for. Sometimes it's a nice bag, sometimes it's a weekend away. I think that's how I'm able to afford things that seem extravagant on my salary.

part gypsy, I have friends like that, too. I also used to have tenants like that - ok to spend money on a BMW (no options, but as long as the badge says BMW, it's fine ), designer clothes, daily lattes but "can't afford to buy a house" and always late with the rent. My mind boggles.

I agree with wildcat03, diamondseeker2006 and pricescopenewbie - to me, my son's education is more important than diamonds. The school I hope to send him to is the fourth most expensive school in the country but it's also one of the best. I don't even want to think of the diamonds I could buy with that money, lol. And then there's still university...

Jambalaya, you've touched on something my dad often mentions - people in my family just don't die. They don't get sick. They just keep going until they hit their nineties and then bam! They're gone. My dad has often warned me to prepare for a long pension, so I started saving for retirement when I was 19. Retirement is a priority for me because I want to retire comfortably. I don't want to have to re-use my teabags, y'know?

I'm struck by how many of us have people in our lives who are critical of our jewellery habits yet spend (waste?) money on things like manis/pedis/cellphone data/laundry/Starbucks. I mean those things are all nice and I enjoy them just as much as the next person, but if I spend $1k on a diamond and 10 years later I'm in a bind, I can flog it, y'know? What do you do with $1k's worth of manicures?

But on the other hand, how/when do you decide you have enough savings and can live a little? I mean, I max out my retirement contributions (my DH doesn't, but that's a whole nother story ), I don't have debt, I have a year's salary saved up for "just in case", I have accounts set aside for my son's education, my 2ct diamond, my New Zealand and Tahiti vacation next year, my savings for the sake of having savings... But what about the now?

 

[Haven]

I've really enjoyed reading this thread.

Have you seen these findings on Wallethub? https://wallethub.com/edu/best-cities-at-money-management/19256/ You can look up your city and see data about the average resident's financial well-being. I was pretty shocked at my own city's average various debt-to-income ratios.

For us, we can afford something if we have the cash to pay for it. I'm very conservative when it comes to finances, and we carry no debt other than our mortgage. We fully fund our retirement accounts, college savings for our son, and all of our sinking funds (car replacement, home improvements, etc.) and after all of that, if we have the cash, we can afford something.

We are privileged to be able to live below our means, I understand that. I was raised in a dysfunctional financial environment, and I vowed long ago to never make the same mistakes my parents made. I also had the great fortune to get a job right out of college administering pension benefits to retirees, where I worked closely with financial gurus who taught me many valuable life lessons.

 

[Jambalaya]

People in my family just don't die. They don't get sick. They just keep going until they hit their nineties and then bam! They're gone.

Then you will live a long and healthy life under the beautiful African sun. What could be nicer than that?

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Diamondseeker - you mentioned five different types of savings accounts that come before bling, plus college for the kids and possibly the grandkids. I don't think I could ever be that disciplined. I think you've really earned that 30k ring over the years!

I think "afford" is also defined by what other things you spend on. I'd never want a large data plan, a Starbucks habit, the latest car or a complicated, large house (landscaping, maintenance, etc.)

I'm amazed at the amount of money people spend on laundry and mani-pedis. I know quite a few people who send their laundry out, and they tend to be people in their twenties! I can't imagine not doing it myself, except drycleaning for the occasional special item. And I have a friend of 12 years' standing who has gotten a manicure every week for 12 years. Her nails always look freshly done and she wouldn't dream of doing them herself. I mean, fine if that's what she wants to do, but it seems a waste to me. How much is it - $20 per week? So about $12,500, on manicures, and she's got 2-3 decades left, probably. And she was probably doing it before we met, too. We're talking about 50k spent on manicures over 45 years, and that's a conservative estimate because I've a feeling it might be more than $20. She would say she couldn't afford bling but....if she painted her nails herself, she could!

That's why I have money to spend now...I was disciplined to save in those savings accounts! We saved for a long time. When we turned 50, I suddenly had this realization that we wouldn't live forever and should start actually enjoy spending some (that was over and above the retirement savings that we'd live off of)!

But I am also like you in that my spending is focused. I'd never spend a couple hundred a month on buying my coffee at Starbucks, either. We buy cars (and other electronics, appliances, etc) based on reliability and longevity. We have almost all Toyotas with the exception of my husbands vintage Porsche collection (his luxury like my jewelry). I don't buy $1000+ purses because I wouldn't want to use them and get them messed up! haha! I have said a million times on here, that one thing I love about fine jewelry is that it can be heirlooms to be passed down for generations. I prefer that over things that will go in the dump after being used for awhile.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Trekkie also reminded me that years ago we opened extra mutual fund accounts with one company just to be fun money for travel or hobbies when we retired. I want to say this without giving too much info, but we each have a separate Roth IRA (tax free withdrawals) plus one regular joint mutual fund which I simply opened with the $2500 minimum and that account now is worth $50k without ever adding another penny! So putting the money aside early really is worth it later on when you are past the years of paying for college and that kind of thing! (I don't have great confidence in our economy at the moment, though, so who knows what any investments will be worth in the future if our dollar crashes. If only governments were as responsible with spending as the group on this thread!!!)

 

[Jambalaya]

I'm struck by how many of us have people in our lives who are critical of our jewellery habits yet spend (waste?) money on things like manis/pedis/cellphone data/laundry/Starbucks. I mean those things are all nice and I enjoy them just as much as the next person, but if I spend $1k on a diamond and 10 years later I'm in a bind, I can flog it, y'know? What do you do with $1k's worth of manicures?

Yep, yep, and yep. People who aren't into jewelry can be very critical. I know someone who spends thousands on clothes but will not spend anything at all on jewelry, even though she likes it. Some people almost seem to have a moralistic attitude against it, as if it's shallow and materialistic to covet jewelry. I'm not sure what the clothes enthusiast doesn't see about the fact that clothes are just fabric and will soon get worn and dirty, and could never be passed down two hundred years from now.

Psychologically, I wonder if some people are resistant to spending anything on jewelry because jewelry is just so physically small. Maybe, if you spend $600, it feels much more justified if you're holding a large swishy cut-price designer coat in your arms, instead of a tiny pair of studs.

 

[Dancing Fire]

When you can buy something w/o begging your SO for money...

 

[dk168]

When you can buy something w/o begging your SO for money...

I have to work to support my various "habits", even in the days when I did have a SO!

I was fortunate to have a good education that ultimately led to a professional qualification (same as yours, DF, ), thanks to my parents' foresight to send me to UK in the late 70s.

Events of the past prior to being sent to UK taught me to be financially independent. I did have some help from my parents with my first property purchase in 1989, and again shortly before I finally plucked up to courage to sort out my finances once and for all in 2010.

Currently, with no credit to speak of, I can only afford significant purchases by means of paying in instalments, and am grateful to all the vendors who allow me to do so, jewellery related or otherwise.

DK

 

[MarionC]

For me, what I can "afford" is a combination of how much CAN I spend and how much do I feel comfortable spending.
I can't afford high-end purses and shoes, but I can afford real estate.

 

[dk168]

Likewise, high end fashion and accessories do nothing for me.

However, I am quite happy to send the equivalent of a good handbag or shoes on a single meal!

Each to their own and all that.

DK