Find your diamond
Find your jewelry
shape
carat
color
clarity

Waiting until marriage?

Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.

PearlDahhhling

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 1, 2008
Messages
1,167
Is there anything in particular you and your FI are waiting until marriage for? Having sex? Living together? Buying a house? Anything else? Why are you waiting for whatever it is? Do you think it will make whatever it is all the more special to experience once you''re a married couple?

FI and I already live together but we''re waiting to buy a house until we''re married. We''re renting a house right now and have toyed with the idea of buying a house in the past but it''s always seemed like a better idea to wait until we''re married. Right now our house is our first "home" together but I think the first house we buy together will be our real first home, the one we''ll hopefully bring children into!

So what are YOU waiting for?
 

FrekeChild

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 14, 2007
Messages
19,456
Combining finances. We''ll do that around "Novemberish" (his words) so we have time to get everything settled before the wedding arrives. I wanted to try to do it earlier, but that''s just because I hate my bank and can''t wait to remove my money from there.


We''re also waiting to buy a house, but that''s because we live in a free place right now (my dad owns it) and we''re not planning on living here for more than 2 more years. My dad started hinting that I should "buy" a house to get the first home buyer''s incentives and let him pay for it, but that''s a big no go. He''s not very good with investing in real estate, and besides, I want to be the one to benefit if these first home buyer incentives continue!
 

bee*

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 14, 2006
Messages
12,170
We haven''t bought a house yet but that''s mainly because I''m in college, not because we''re not married. We''re renting off my dad. Other than that, there''s not much that we''re waiting for. We haven''t set up a joint account yet but again we probably won''t do that until I''m finished college as I pay for some bills and D pays for others at the moment and it''s worked out well.
 

elrohwen

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 20, 2008
Messages
5,392
We''re waiting to combine finances 100%. We have a joint checking account, but we maintain separate accounts and have separate credit cards.

We''re also waiting to buy a house, but that''s more because we can''t afford it than because we want to wait
Stupid 20% downpayment ... ((grumble))
 

lliang_chi

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 13, 2008
Messages
3,740
We already live together. I bought my place, and FI moved in after we got engaged. Our finances are more or less combined, though we have separate credit cards and I still have student loan payments. I guess the only thing we''re waiting to do is have kids.
 

dcgator

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 15, 2008
Messages
1,115
We are waiting till we are married to combine finances and also he bought the condo we live in, so we will wait till we are married until we put my name on the deed. Also, after we will marry, we will get a non-stick car (one I can actually drive)
.
 

lliang_chi

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 13, 2008
Messages
3,740
DC,

Are you guys going to refinance or whatever to put your name on the deed. I spoke to my title & mortgage company and they said that we needed to change the mortgage (refi) with FI''s name in the mortgage, in order to put him on the title. It might just be an IL/Chicago thing. Anyway, it was too much trouble and we''re planning on selling in 2010 after we''re married, so we''re just leaving it as is. Once we''re married, I think legally he has rights etc to the property should something happen to me.
 

luvthemstrawberries

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 19, 2008
Messages
2,107
FI and I are waiting till we''re married to
anything - it''s based on our Christianity and morals. It''s what we fully believe in. And I definitely think it''ll make it more special when we are married.

We did move in together, because we spend so much time together that it honestly was a waste to have 2 rent payments. So we rent a townhome together. My parents weren''t thrilled, but we''re open and honest about it. We share a bed but are staying abstinent till we''re married. Some probably call it crazy, but it''s really just spending time together, and it''s easy to do because it''s something we believe in and a goal we set from the beginning.

We share finances that pay for rent and groceries, but otherwise we still have our own and will keep it that way till we''re married. We''ll save for a few years and then try to buy a house.
 

elrohwen

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 20, 2008
Messages
5,392
DCgator, just learn to drive a stick shift! I promise you they're much more fun than automatics


-- end threadjack --

I forgot to add that FI and I are waiting until marriage to get a dog or have kids. The dog kind of goes with the house, and the kids are way out in the future. We're spreading out the big life events


The first big thing we'll purchase together will probably be a new car for me because mine will probably be ready to die before we have enough saved for a house.
 

Winks_Elf

Brilliant_Rock
Trade
Joined
Nov 28, 2008
Messages
1,673
We''ll be moving in together this summer as a matter of practicality, but won''t buy a home together until we are married. Finances will be combined after we move in so that the joint bills get paid, but we will still each maintain a separate account.
 

jstarfireb

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 24, 2007
Messages
6,231
It''s more practical than sentimental, but we''re waiting to live together, buy a house, and combine finances. When I say it''s more practical, I mean:

1) We can''t live together now because we''re long distance, and we didn''t live together in school because my parents were paying for my apartment. But we lived in the same building, and we spent pretty much all of our free time together.

2) We can''t afford a house...not for at least another 5-10 years.

3) Finances - hopefully not until he pays off his student loans! It''s also not very practical when we live in different cities. But we do have a joint credit card and just started a joint account at Bank of America to use during our honeymoon.

But we''ve never really been the type to wait for sentimental reasons. We figure if it''s worth doing, it''s worth doing now.
 

dec2410

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Sep 5, 2007
Messages
499
we''re saving living together and everything that comes with that for after we''re married. we''ll probably combine finances shortly after we''re engaged and buy our first home a year or so after we''re married. i can''t wait!
 

Sabine

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 16, 2007
Messages
3,446
Although we lived in the same apartment, we had separate bedrooms until we got married. Living together definitely made more sense than having our own apts., but we wanted SOMETHING to change after the wedding, and we''re still glad we did even though tons of people thought we were just weird!
 

emeraldlover1

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 20, 2006
Messages
2,913
I''m waiting to cut my hair...lol. No seriously, I can''t wait to chop it all off. Well, we own our apartment and live together so pretty much we are waiting to combine finances.
 

mrscushion

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 15, 2008
Messages
3,309
Combining finances. FI owns the condo where we both live. He may sell it if we end up moving after marriage (likely) and the next one we buy we will buy together.
 

sunnyd

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
7,353
Combine finances, buy a house, get a dog, have kids. In that order too.
Our first marital challenge will be what color to paint the rooms, I can see it now!
 

katica

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 9, 2008
Messages
113
We''re waiting to have kids. Neither of us want to have children out of wedlock. If we had an "oops" we''d still be thrilled but we''d prefer to start a family the old fashioned way. :) And we won''t wait too long. I''d love to have a honeymoon baby (I was one!) but he said we''ll wait a few months.
 

Smurfysmiles

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 30, 2007
Messages
3,938
Combine finances and buy a house :)
Toyed with the idea of no more sex til then but well, we couldn''t contain ourselves lol
 

Dannielle

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jul 8, 2008
Messages
1,308
- Combining finances
- Buying a house
- Having a baby (I don''t think this one will be happening until quite awhile after we are married though!)





 

Blair138

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 8, 2008
Messages
1,207
We are waiting till we get married to move in together (although I might move in the month before). We will probably combine finances in June as well just so it''s all ''set'' after we get married. He has a house, but I am keeping with superstition and NOT using ANY gifts until after our marriage (and getting rid of most of his stuff) so it will be ''our house'' after our wedding
 

White Orchid

Shiny_Rock
Joined
May 4, 2008
Messages
229
Date: 3/16/2009 11:06:58 AM
Author: luvthemstrawberries
FI and I are waiting till we''re married to
anything - it''s based on our Christianity and morals. It''s what we fully believe in. And I definitely think it''ll make it more special when we are married.


We did move in together, because we spend so much time together that it honestly was a waste to have 2 rent payments. So we rent a townhome together. My parents weren''t thrilled, but we''re open and honest about it. We share a bed but are staying abstinent till we''re married. Some probably call it crazy, but it''s really just spending time together, and it''s easy to do because it''s something we believe in and a goal we set from the beginning.


We share finances that pay for rent and groceries, but otherwise we still have our own and will keep it that way till we''re married. We''ll save for a few years and then try to buy a house.
Congrats to you! My husband and I tried that, but let''s just say things didn''t go as planned...

In the end, the only thing that we waited on until after the wedding was having kids. And we''re still waiting, but not for lack of effort.
 

LilyOfTheValley

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 14, 2009
Messages
142
Combining finances. Even then, we''re going to wait for 2 or 3 years after we''ve been married to do that, for the sake of our sanity. I probably won''t also change my last name until a few years into the marriage.
 

AllieLuv83

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 22, 2007
Messages
1,453
Combining finaces 100% we combined some things when we moved in together and buying a house :)
 

KimberlyH

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 15, 2006
Messages
7,485
We waited to move in together (and the subsequent combining finances) until after we married. We were married at 29/38 and figured if we''d waited that long to live with someone, we may as well hold off until we made it down the aisle. I loved, loved, loved living by myself and am glad I got to do so for as long as I did.
 

emilina22

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 9, 2007
Messages
1,464
we''re also waiting until marriage to move in together and to be together if you know what i mean (which like luvthemstrawberries is also based on our christianity and our morals)

as for finances they are already joined and have been for the past year since we got engaged.



so basically getting married is going to bring on a whole lot of changes.
 

dcgator

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 15, 2008
Messages
1,115
Date: 3/16/2009 10:49:14 AM
Author: lliang_chi
DC,

Are you guys going to refinance or whatever to put your name on the deed. I spoke to my title & mortgage company and they said that we needed to change the mortgage (refi) with FI''s name in the mortgage, in order to put him on the title. It might just be an IL/Chicago thing. Anyway, it was too much trouble and we''re planning on selling in 2010 after we''re married, so we''re just leaving it as is. Once we''re married, I think legally he has rights etc to the property should something happen to me.
Hey Liang,

When we closed on the house last year, they did say something about how it would be difficult to add me to the deed but they can add be to the title or vice versa (can''t quite remember). I have to talk to the title company and ask them what is the best way. I know the easy way should be as simple as putting it in writing and asking them to add me. And yes, I beleive that depending on your state and their property and marriage laws, your fiance could be entitled to have the property. However, the is VERY state specific, so I woud look into that.

elrohwen: DCgator, just learn to drive a stick shift! I promise you they''re much more fun than automatics

LOL, My fiance would love to hear you say that. I know, I should learn to drive stick. However, the stick is really not that much fun in the city, especially with all the traffic! But the other problem with his car is that it is a two-door sports car and whenever we have company/friends, we all have to cram in there. It would be much more practical to have a car with four doors
 

mayachel

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 2, 2008
Messages
1,749
Well, we bought a home last year (before we got engaged) and are both on the mortgage and the deed. In that way, we''ve combined our finances (our debt!) but otherwise all our money is separate. I''m not sure what are plans are post wedding, it''s been a while since we''ve talked about it.

I have been joking recently that we have to wait for children, because "we gotta save something for when we are married!" The reality is, I don''t think it makes a difference in our lives from the married/unmarried stand point. It does make a difference to my school career life. So, no babies till I''ve safely finished that Masters.
 

ilovethiswebsite

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 13, 2008
Messages
1,788
wow i can''t believe how many people are waiting to combine finances! the thought never even crossed my mind! what''s the benefit to combining accounts exactly?
 

elrohwen

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 20, 2008
Messages
5,392

DC, I totally get the four door practicality. Though, crazy me, I'm thinking of getting a two-door for my next car

I hope I don't regret it.


Stick shifts are way more fun on the highway, but once you get used to driving them, you don't even notice it when you're in traffic (well, most of the time anyway
) I converted my FI to stick shifts. He bought his first car a few years ago, test drove it after only pacticing on my car a few times, and took it home! He's now a full convert




ilovethiswebsite, I think, for me, the primary benefit to combining finances is that we become a full partnership where everything that is mine becomes his, and his things become mine. For example, he has student loans and a car payment, but once we get married they will become joint bills to pay. And when I get a new car, we'll jointly save for it and pay it off. I think there's just a simplicity to having only one pot of money between us. I'm getting sick of shuffling money between 3 accounts (our separate ones and our joint one). This is what our parents did too, so I think for us it's just what we grew up with and feel comfortable with.
 
Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
Be a part of the community It's free, join today!
    5 Diamond Misconceptions: Part 1
    5 Diamond Misconceptions: Part 1
    Three-stone engagement ring upgrade
    Three-stone engagement ring upgrade
    Vintage OEC Bracelet
    Vintage OEC Bracelet

Need Something Special?

Get a quote from multiple trusted and vetted jewelers.

Holloway Cut Advisor



Diamond Eye Candy

Click to view full-size image.
Top