Waiting until marriage?

[Kelli]

We''re only waiting to have kids. Really it''s just that neither of us want to have kids just yet and we both feel like we''d like to be married before having a family. If an accident happened (which it shouldn''t) it wouldn''t be too big of a deal. We just bought a house and have insurance and a lot of family support so we''re actually in a good situation, just don''t feel ready for selfish reasons.

 

[Kelli]

This made me think of my friend though. She and her fiance were having sex up until the point that he gave her a ring, then she took it away until the wedding. I will never understand the logic in this.

I''d be pretty miffed...

 

[musey]

Like a lot of the others, we waited to completely combine our finances, and to have kids (though we're still waiting, purposefully, on that one). That's about it. I don't think anything was made more or less 'special' because we did or didn't wait, but our desire to build a solid foundation for our partnership would have outweighed the desire for 'specialness,' anyway.

I don't think we'd have bought a house before marriage anyway, but it's kind of a non-issue because we live in a renter's city. Home ownership is not in our near future

Oh and we waited to to wear our wedding bands (I guess some people don't??). Does that count?? Because that was a STRUGGLE!!!

 

[Pandora II]

We'd lived together for 4 years and owned a house together before we tied the knot. We put an offer in on a house that we had both chosen together (the other house DH had bought a year before we met and he then sold me 50% after we'd been dating a year and a bit), but didn't complete the sale until after the wedding.

We still have separate finances and with on-line/telephone banking there's no need to combine - and frankly at 34/36 we're too old and set in our ways to start doing that

...

We waited till our wedding night to start TTC - and I reckon DH is pretty glad that we hadn't been saving that side of things till marriage. I'm in the 40% of pg women who go completely off the idea once they're KTFU and he hasn't had any since bebe was conceived - and I doubt he'll be getting much for a good long time after she's born (9 weeks to go...)

Even though nothing materially changed - except my surname - we both feel very different emotionally about being married which we didn't expect and it had definitely made our relationship better and even stronger.

 

[kittybean]

Date: 3/16/2009 2:04:24 PM
Author: sunnyd
Combine finances, buy a house, get a dog, have kids. In that order too.

Same here!

 

[Tuckins1]

The only thing that we waited to do until we were married was to purchase a home and merge bank accounts. Everything else was fair game...

 

[Haven]

We were together for four years before we married, and we waited until *just* before we married to move in together. We ended up buying a house and moving in one month before the wedding, so we cheated a bit, but I chaperoned a two-week international trip during that month between buying the house and our wedding, so the last thing I wanted to do when I got home was move.

It was important to me to wait until marriage to move in together. I don''t think it''s made it any more special, so to speak, but I just didn''t want to live with anyone unless I was married to him, first.

We also waited to adopt our puppy, and we haven''t had kids yet, but I wouldn''t have wanted to do that before we were married, either.

 

[dboatsupreme]

I''m waiting for everything until marriage. Buying a house probably won''t happen in the first few years of marriage though, since we are both students.

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

Date: 3/16/2009 1:15:13 PM
Author: emeraldlover1
I''m waiting to cut my hair...lol. No seriously, I can''t wait to chop it all off. Well, we own our apartment and live together so pretty much we are waiting to combine finances.

I didn''t think about mentioning this here, but I''m trying to keep the patience to grow mine out too! Been working on it now for months... argh! I''ll probably end up chopping it off after we get married, or if nothing else definitely when we start a family, which won''t be too long after we get married.

 

[Dandi]

Date: 3/17/2009 1:08:00 PM
Author: Pandora II
We'd lived together for 4 years and owned a house together before we tied the knot. We put an offer in on a house that we had both chosen together (the other house DH had bought a year before we met and he then sold me 50% after we'd been dating a year and a bit), but didn't complete the sale until after the wedding.

We still have separate finances and with on-line/telephone banking there's no need to combine - and frankly at 34/36 we're too old and set in our ways to start doing that

...

We waited till our wedding night to start TTC - and I reckon DH is pretty glad that we hadn't been saving that side of things till marriage. I'm in the 40% of pg women who go completely off the idea once they're KTFU and he hasn't had any since bebe was conceived - and I doubt he'll be getting much for a good long time after she's born (9 weeks to go...)

Even though nothing materially changed - except my surname - we both feel very different emotionally about being married which we didn't expect and it had definitely made our relationship better and even stronger.

Same here (bless online banking!!), the only combined finance we have is the mortgage, which we had before we were married. We each owned our own homes before that too, and they stayed separate when we rented them out, it just made sense. We each have a car, the dogs... I guess all we're waiting on now is a baby!! DH is keen to start trying soon but I myself am more than happy to give it a few more years yet... predominantly so we're mortgage free!

I hope that going back to work will be an option, not a necessity

**Threadjack alert**
9 weeks to go!! I can't believe it Pandora!!

**End Threadjack**

 

[CNYHopeful]

We won''t live together until we''re married. FI bought a house last year with the intention of raising a family there, but we decided even before we started dating that we wouldn''t move in together until marriage. We''re trying to be pure in thought and action and abstain from sex until marriage. What this means is learning to express our love in words, actions, and physical intimacy without having to engage in intercourse and looking forward to that complete expression when we are married.

 

[Dreamgirl]

Not my FI yet, but we are waiting to live together, travel together and obviously combine finances.

 

[ash313]

I suppose we are technically waiting to start a family and buy a house, but it''s not like we''re waiting specifically for after the wedding (both will probably be several years later) but just that we''ll be more financially stable then.

We combined finances years ago, have lived together for over three years, there is not much left to wait for!

We are waiting to buy a new bed! It will be our first married purchase!

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

Date: 3/18/2009 12:06:18 PM
Author: CNYHopeful
We won''t live together until we''re married. FI bought a house last year with the intention of raising a family there, but we decided even before we started dating that we wouldn''t move in together until marriage. We''re trying to be pure in thought and action and abstain from sex until marriage. What this means is learning to express our love in words, actions, and physical intimacy without having to engage in intercourse and looking forward to that complete expression when we are married.

You put it in words better than I ever could - thank you!! This is exactly how we feel. And I truly believe we communicate better and are so much more intimate in other ways that that will just be the icing on the cake when we get married. We have such a great foundation now.

 

[CrookedRock]

We''re waiting to have children, but that''s even more so something to do with buying a home. We''ve been looking for a while but just think the market needs some time. It has nothing to do with being married or not for us, we''ve been together for so darn long!
I guess we could combine finances, we already use the same CC, so all that''s left is having a joint account and changing wills.

 

[princesss]

Date: 3/18/2009 12:10:57 PM
Author: Dreamgirl
Not my FI yet, but we are waiting to live together, travel together and obviously combine finances.

Wait wait wait. You are waiting to travel together? Lol, somehow everything else people say makes sense to me in one way or another, but traveling is like breathing for me. I don't think I could stay with a guy I hadn't traveled with. Are you talking big trips, little trips, or any and all trips? I'm just gobsmacked by this idea, lol. In four years, BF and I have gone to Thailand, Singapore, Spain, France, Italy, and Morocco, plus NYC and Detroit. And I'm planning a trip to Charleston sometime soon, just because I love it there and I think we'd have fun.

BF and I are waiting to...hmmm. Well, we probably wouldn't be buying a house anytime soon, so I guess we'll wait on that. And I just don't really plan on ever combining finances 100%. And we might not ever have kids, but we'd definitely wait for that (barring any crazy surprises). And an international move might come up before we get married (I hope I hope I hope), but I feel like that might speed things along if it did happen. More than likely that will wait until after grad school, though, so I guess we'd probably be married.

Apparently I don't believe in waiting for much. Who knew?

 

[anniee19]

We are waiting until marriage to combine finances. We bought our first home together last year, and lived together one year before that, so living together is nothing new! We still pay mostly half and half for household expenses though, and have seperate banking accounts. We''ll be waiting about a year after the wedding before trying for a baby.

 

[dboatsupreme]

Date: 3/18/2009 12:06:18 PM
Author: CNYHopeful
We won''t live together until we''re married. FI bought a house last year with the intention of raising a family there, but we decided even before we started dating that we wouldn''t move in together until marriage. We''re trying to be pure in thought and action and abstain from sex until marriage. What this means is learning to express our love in words, actions, and physical intimacy without having to engage in intercourse and looking forward to that complete expression when we are married.

Cool response! That''s exactly the reason why we are waiting as well.

 

[LabRatPhD]

The only things we are waiting for until marriage are combining finances and having children (although we have two furry children already). Everything up until now has been a natural progression for us so we are happy where we are in our relationship.

 

[Deelight]

We are waiting till marriage for kiddies (but even then it will be a while) and possibly buying another house however we might do that just beforehand .

 

[Bia]

Another one for 'combine finances.' We also want to purchase a house together. The mortgage right now is in his name but we do live together.

I'm trying to think if there is anything else...

oh yea, and have kids.

 

[Deelight]

Date: 3/20/2009 10:25:10 AM
Author: Bia
Another one for ''combine finances.'' We also want to purchase a house together. The mortgage right now is in his name but we do live together.


I''m trying to think if there is anything else...


oh yea, and have kids.

Forgot to the combine finances one, though I am not sure if we ever will - I like my indepenence too much .