- Joined
- Feb 29, 2012
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- 12,369
Based on personal experience...
I took out a Debt Management Plan with Pay Plan, who helped with contacting the creditors to request for my debts to be frozen, and offered them what I could pay back every month.
I had to provide a detailed monthly income and expenditures to Pay Plan in order to work out what I was able to pay back to my creditors proportionally.
All except one creditor accepted without further interest charges.
Took me a few years to clear my debts, I however I did it.
I had no critical debts (mortgage and utilities bills were up to date), only credit cards and a personal loan, and I have a good job.
Although my creditors used debt collection companies to manage my debts, none of them went to court which meant I did not have any county court judgement against me, and I was not declared bankrupt.
I contacted Pay Plan when I realised I was struggling with paying the minimum repayments on my credit card bills each month.
In the past I had asked my family to bail me out. However I felt ashamed to do it again after being told off by my ex-husband who had also helped me in the past. He said something in the line of if I was not able to support myself on my salary, then there was no hope for those earning less, etc.
I decided it was time to face this demon on my own two feet, to finally learn to manage money in my mid 40s!
I was not able to get any credit for 2 years after paying off my debts.
I swear I will not have another credit card, and only have one that is pre-paid.
The only other loan apart from the mortgage is the personal contract hire for my car.
Good luck with the OP's friend! I cannot offer any advice except to contact Citizens Advice Bureau as soon as possible to seek help.
DK![]()
Phoenix, Addicts tend to blame everyone and everything for their problems. The fact that he isn’t in Gambling Anonymous makes me think he isn’t holding himself accountable for his actions. The ex girlfriends didn’t make him gamble. He himself chose to gamble.
Please be careful. You can’t change him.
I know the debts feel pressing but addiction is a mental issue that needs to be addressed first. Is there a process to check him into a treatment program, maybe on the NHS, that provides counselling and medical consultation. Without treatment, the core problem is not addressed and if his debts are relieved, he will relapse again if triggered (by stress, depression). If you find the right people to talk to, they will give you the best advice about how to consolidate the debt payments at a reduced interest rate.
http://www.three.co.uk/Store/SIM-hub
If he's out of his initial contract (usually 24 months over here) he can swap to a lower, SIM-only plan with the same or another provider by calling his current provider and asking to leave, and for a PAC number (so he can transfer his number across to the new provider). It is likely that they will offer him a different plan in order to try and make him stay, so he/you should do your homework on what is available.
If he's still within the contract he signed up to, he will have to pay off the remainder of the monthly payments before he can swap (because he's still paying for the handset within the monthlies).
Giffgaff may be another option - it's an internet-community-based provider with no contract period:
https://www.giffgaff.com/free-sim-cards
EDIT: Check out USwitch - they took over the Omio site that used to list and compare the best phone and SIM deals, so they have great tools on here to search for what you want/need:
https://www.uswitch.com/mobiles/
WRT mental health, he should give Mind a call - they are a dedicated mental health charity with a hotline:
https://www.mind.org.uk/
WRT IVAs, it is my understanding that those agencies who set such things up take a cut of what you are paying, and I have been advised against that myself. I think the other way of doing it is to contact each company individually and explain the situation, to request options available.
EDIT: Debt Collection agencies are scary, it can't be denied, but all they want is to be kept in the loop - contact them and talk to them, because as mentioned above, they'd rather get something than nothing, even if it takes longer. And if something changes, contact them ASAP again - it's when the debtor disappears that people start knocking on the door or they initiate court proceedings. Most companies should have decent customer services to speak to - I believe that gone are the days where you'd speak to a rottweiler of a CS person who'd do their best to screw you over, but I can't guarantee it...
It is a somewhat irritating fact that those who can least afford credit and/or are struggling to pay credit back, are those that are hit with the highest interest rates, meaning it takes them longer and they are more likely to default.
For example, if you earn ££££££ a year you can get credit for an 80k car at ~3% APR interest at the moment (AIUI). But if you work two part time jobs at the minimum wage and have £20 spare each week, but need to buy a washing machine to keep your children's clothes clean, you can pay anywhere from 50%APR by buying from a catalogue to, what, 1600%APR? (yes, 1,600 percent, or even more) on a 'Payday Loan'.
Speaking entirely personally, I have stupid amounts of debt and missed a couple of payment dates by a day or so last year, because I couldn't get to the bank to pay it (because disorganised). Usually I get hit with a slew of 0% interest Balance Transfer offers on my credit cards after Christmas, but this year? Nothing. So I'm stuck paying c.20% interest, meaning half my payments each month go on interest alone.
If they'd give me 3% interest rates then I'd clear double each year what I can pay now, but instead, the minions are people to screw for the most amount possible because they are a 'risk' and might default.
The whole world of lending is, frankly, ****ed up.
I hope you can sort your friend out, @Phoenix - you are a good friend for helping, and he has made the first step by admitting he has a problem, so together you will get through it![]()
Difficulties getting a doctor's appointment are common over here now, it seems.
Some places won't book in advance and you have to ring when they open, but by 5 minutes past the hour they open, the appointments are gone and you have to try again tomorrow.
Or they will take advance bookings, but the next available slot is 3 weeks away.
It is frustrating and the NHS is an imperfect system, but it does mean that we don't have to spend the equivalent of US$1000 a month (or however much the average is in the USA) on family medical insurance that has a host of caveats and exclusions in the small print!
Thank you. I have been trying to figure out how to say all of this.
Phoenix, what you need to ask him is: “what are you going to do about that?”
I also would NOT take over talks with creditors about money because what if that somehow makes you responsible for repayment?kind of like co-signing for a debt. You need to make 100% sure you aren’t setting yourself up for disaster.
Also, if he is unwilling to speak to the creditors himself, I have 0% faith he is taking repayment seriously.
Thank you sooooo much, everyone, for chiming in and advising me of what to do.
The update now is that I've helped him to enter into a repayment plan for the debt that has gone into collection. The rest, he's started to pay back by working OT and will continue do so. Once these other debts have been paid off, the OD and the CC will be cancelled.
I hear what you're all saying about enabling him. I couldn't give him back control over the accounts as he's not capable of handling them nor is he capable of talking to the creditors. I will teach him, slowly, how to manage his finances going forward. He's also agreed to go to Gamblers Anonymous and he's also got the Samaritans' tel number in case he feels suicidal again.
Nothing is gonna change overnight. It's gonna be a very long painful process. He knows that. I am there for him but I understand that he needs to be in charge of his own life - literally as well as finance wise. I will transfer back control of his bank accounts to him once he's shown to be capable of handling the finances himself. I am hopeful that he'll be able to do this eventually. I went through several years of his bank statements and it seems that only in the past few years has he gone out of control, and that he had decent savings previously. A lot of his problems seem to stem for 2 relationships that went sour. I think he's recovering from these and he realises the effect these r/s have had both on him financially as well as emotionally. He and I do realise that he now has to get a grip and deal with the aftermath of those r/s and regain control of his own life. I can only help him so much though, the rest/ the main thing is that he has to help himself.
He's gonna go to Gamblers Anonymous and he's going to the GP to ask for referral to a psychiatrist. Pls see my post #35 above also re his finance issues.
Thank you.