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Very close friend in UK owes money, is suicidal. HELP!

Phoenix

Phoenix

Ideal_Rock
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Oct 5, 2006
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A very close friend of mine owes GBP18k (personal loan + overdraft + credit card) to a bank in the UK, which he racked up through gambling. I understand he had some horrible some personal issues which drove him to gambling. I also understand he tried commit suicide once but then threw up the pills that he'd taken. A few days ago, he felt suicidal again, because the bank to whom he owes money has sent one of the loans to a Collection Agency, and he's generally depressed (he feels lonely, doesn't talk to his family and doesn't really have friends).

He reached out for help last few days and I feel like I am in way over my head. I'm not quite sure I know best to help him. He asked me to take control of his bank accounts, which I have. But he doesn't have a pot to p** in and earns a low wage. He's been struggling to pay the extraordinarily high interests charged; and can't seem to pay back the principal amounts.

Now, he's in default on the loan, can't pay back the OD and the CC and is desperate!! I've helped him to write an authority letter to the bank which would allow me to talk to them directly. I intend to ask them to consolidate the debts and agree to somehow lower the crippling interest rates and subsequently come to a repayment scheme which he can manage (which I will help him to figure out). The loan, in particular, as mentioned, has gone to a Collections Agency.

Can someone please chime in and advise me of what to do?
 
You’re doing all of the right things for his debts. In the end, companies would rather be paid some money than have him declare bankruptcy so they’re often willing to forgive some of the debts and lower interest rates/payments.

His depression should be addressed too. Is there a suicide hotline or free counseling he could attend?

I’m so sorry your friend has gotten to this point, and that you’re now emotionally involved too. You’re a great friend for helping him out. Don’t forget to take care of yourself too...
 
Your friend could phone the Samaritans if he feels suicidal again, it’s a frreefone number : 116 123 they’re available 24/7.
 
I've so been there. Not that much $, but feeling like you're in a hole you can't get out of. NO amount of debt is worth killing yourself over.

This is extreme overwhelm and can absolutely be managed. His #1 priority should be crisis counseling. You're being a great friend, just please remember to take care of yourself and not drown in his situation.
 
Me and my ex once owed £30k +. I’d recommend a charity called StepChange and a debt management plan or an IVA.
 
They will look at income and outgoings and work out a manageable payment which they will distribute between creditors. They usually freeze the interest. It will be strict and it isn’t easy but it keeps them off his back.
 
You are doing great and it is awesome you asked for help here. The others know more about UK specific stuff than I do, but I wanted to chime in with some other things to help him feel more in control.

Look at his budget. What does he have to pay towards bills and what can be reduced? Example is cable service. We had been paying $140/month just for TV. I dropped that in favor of free streaming plus $40/month DVD purchases. Call providers such as cell phone, car insurance, and unternei to ask about special discounts available for his account. (I found Verizon has special offers they only tell you about of you call. I cut our bill by 30% and got a better plan.)

One of our big expenses was food. Help him look at his grocery expenses and see where he can save. Make beef stock instead of buy. Plan meals that are economical such as chicken soup that can then be reduced and thickened to fill a pot pie. A lot of grocery money can be saved just by planning meals to eliminate waste.

Look into this stuff first and set up sample meal plans to show him he can save without starving or eating just stuff he doesn't like. (DH was skeptical when we talked originally and it took showing him for a couple of weeks before he relaxed. He pictured saving money on food as top ramen or plain baked potatoes without salt.) As an idea, I managed to feed 3 people plus 4 cats and a dog on just $500/month.
 
Based on personal experience...

I took out a Debt Management Plan with Pay Plan, who helped with contacting the creditors to request for my debts to be frozen, and offered them what I could pay back every month.

I had to provide a detailed monthly income and expenditures to Pay Plan in order to work out what I was able to pay back to my creditors proportionally.

All except one creditor accepted without further interest charges.

Took me a few years to clear my debts, I however I did it.

I had no critical debts (mortgage and utilities bills were up to date), only credit cards and a personal loan, and I have a good job.

Although my creditors used debt collection companies to manage my debts, none of them went to court which meant I did not have any county court judgement against me, and I was not declared bankrupt.

I contacted Pay Plan when I realised I was struggling with paying the minimum repayments on my credit card bills each month.

In the past I had asked my family to bail me out. However I felt ashamed to do it again after being told off by my ex-husband who had also helped me in the past. He said something in the line of if I was not able to support myself on my salary, then there was no hope for those earning less, etc. :rolleyes2:

I decided it was time to face this demon on my own two feet, to finally learn to manage money in my mid 40s!

I was not able to get any credit for 2 years after paying off my debts. :rolleyes2:

I swear I will not have another credit card, and only have one that is pre-paid.

The only other loan apart from the mortgage is the personal contract hire for my car.

Good luck with the OP's friend! I cannot offer any advice except to contact Citizens Advice Bureau as soon as possible to seek help.

DK :))
 
ILikeShiny said:
You’re doing all of the right things for his debts. In the end, companies would rather be paid some money than have him declare bankruptcy so they’re often willing to forgive some of the debts and lower interest rates/payments.

His depression should be addressed too. Is there a suicide hotline or free counseling he could attend?

I’m so sorry your friend has gotten to this point, and that you’re now emotionally involved too. You’re a great friend for helping him out. Don’t forget to take care of yourself too...
Click to expand...

Thank you, @ILikeShiny. On what grounds would they be able to forgive some of the debts?

Lowering the interest is also key, I agree.

I've referred him to the Samaritans, as suggested by @Austina (thank you, Austina). He also contacted GamCare and they said a counsellor was going to contact him but no one has, as of yet. He says he feels better now that he's talked to me. I fear that his depression is a deep-rooted problem and the relief/ or whatever he's feeling is somewhat temporary/ short term.

Yes, it is unfortunate the timing. My health has just started to improve, but now am stressed because of this! **SIGH**
 
Elliot86 said:
I've so been there. Not that much $, but feeling like you're in a hole you can't get out of. NO amount of debt is worth killing yourself over.

This is extreme overwhelm and can absolutely be managed. His #1 priority should be crisis counseling. You're being a great friend, just please remember to take care of yourself and not drown in his situation.
Click to expand...

Thank you, @Elliot86 . May I ask how you got out of debt, if you're able to share? If not, not to worry.

Yes, I do believe that the gambling is just a symptom of a much deeper problem, ie. his depression which has driven him to feeling suicidal, more than once. I believe his depression is not caused by the debts but no doubt the debts have compounded his depression. I believe he gambles because he's depressed (it's a vicious circle) and his depression is primarily driven by personal issues and also the lack of friends and family support. I feel I am out of my depth here though. All I can do is listen to him, help him to manage the debts and repayments, and encourage him to talk to counsellors/ people who are better equipped at crisis-management than I am.

I am trying not to let this overwhelm me too much...easier said than done though.:(. I do feel slightly better being able to talk here and to seek for advice. I wasn't going to ask for help, but felt I couldn't deal with this alone. Good thing he doesn't browse diamond forums, lol (have to laugh a little).
 
LJsapphire said:
They will look at income and outgoings and work out a manageable payment which they will distribute between creditors. They usually freeze the interest. It will be strict and it isn’t easy but it keeps them off his back.
Click to expand...

Thank you, @LJsapphire. This is very helpful.

How long did it take for you guys to pay that off, if you don't mind my asking? and what did your debt consist of and was it just to one creditor or several? Pls if you don't feel comfortable sharing the infor, not to worry.

I will contact StepChange and hopefully arrive at an appropriate repayment plan or an IVA.

One Q I am wondering about though, which is that one of the loans he owes to the bank (previously a personal loan) has now been transferred to a debt collection agency. I am wondering if this would /should (?) be dealt with separately from the other two loans he owes to the bank (the overdraft and CC).

It's very helpful to know that the interest can be frozen. I thought the best that could happen would be that it would be lowered. On what grounds can the interest be frozen and how do I ask for this? (I say "I" because he's now given me authority to handle everything - joy!:rolleyes:).
 
One thing I am extremely concerned with: his feeling suicidal. Is that ever going to go away? I've urged him to seek counselling and am available for him to talk to. So hopefully, he's feeling and will feel less overwhelmed/ less depressed. His gambling, however, is a symptom and not the cause of his depression. I am wondering though if his depression and his feeling suicidal are ever gonna go away, like completely?

If anyone could shed some light on this, it'd be much appreciated.
 
I know the debts feel pressing but addiction is a mental issue that needs to be addressed first. Is there a process to check him into a treatment program, maybe on the NHS, that provides counselling and medical consultation. Without treatment, the core problem is not addressed and if his debts are relieved, he will relapse again if triggered (by stress, depression). If you find the right people to talk to, they will give you the best advice about how to consolidate the debt payments at a reduced interest rate.
 
TooPatient said:
You are doing great and it is awesome you asked for help here. The others know more about UK specific stuff than I do, but I wanted to chime in with some other things to help him feel more in control.

Look at his budget. What does he have to pay towards bills and what can be reduced? Example is cable service. We had been paying $140/month just for TV. I dropped that in favor of free streaming plus $40/month DVD purchases. Call providers such as cell phone, car insurance, and unternei to ask about special discounts available for his account. (I found Verizon has special offers they only tell you about of you call. I cut our bill by 30% and got a better plan.)

One of our big expenses was food. Help him look at his grocery expenses and see where he can save. Make beef stock instead of buy. Plan meals that are economical such as chicken soup that can then be reduced and thickened to fill a pot pie. A lot of grocery money can be saved just by planning meals to eliminate waste.

Look into this stuff first and set up sample meal plans to show him he can save without starving or eating just stuff he doesn't like. (DH was skeptical when we talked originally and it took showing him for a couple of weeks before he relaxed. He pictured saving money on food as top ramen or plain baked potatoes without salt.) As an idea, I managed to feed 3 people plus 4 cats and a dog on just $500/month.
Click to expand...

Thank you for all that, @TooPatient.

He and I have looked at his income and expenses. His outgoings - except for gambling, which hopefully has now stopped - are actually very low. He only needs money for rent, food, gym membership and mobile/ cell phone. The first 3 are very low (I was very surprised at how economical he is w.r.t his food bills) while his mobile phone bill is way too high and I've asked him to contact the provider, O2, to help him switch to another low-paying plan. He has no other regular expenses.
 
There are lots of mobile phone providers offering really good deals, unlimited calls, texts and good amounts of data for very reasonable rates. I’m currently only paying £11 a month, which includes 4gb of data, but there are other very reasonable plans with more data from 3 network.
 
Austina said:
There are lots of mobile phone providers offering really good deals, unlimited calls, texts and good amounts of data for very reasonable rates. I’m currently only paying £11 a month, which includes 4gb of data, but there are other very reasonable plans with more data from 3 network.
Click to expand...

This is excellent information, @Austina. Which provider are you with? £11 a month with 4GB of data is amazing!!! I also just googled O2 and I see plans for £10, £20 etc with very good data allowance.

Which are the 3 networks you're thinking of? I haven't lived in the UK for a long time, but off the top of my head, I can think of O2, Orange, Virgin, Vodafone.
 
Phoenix said:
Thank you, @LJsapphire. This is very helpful.

How long did it take for you guys to pay that off, if you don't mind my asking? and what did your debt consist of and was it just to one creditor or several? Pls if you don't feel comfortable sharing the infor, not to worry.

I will contact StepChange and hopefully arrive at an appropriate repayment plan or an IVA.

One Q I am wondering about though, which is that one of the loans he owes to the bank (previously a personal loan) has now been transferred to a debt collection agency. I am wondering if this would /should (?) be dealt with separately from the other two loans he owes to the bank (the overdraft and CC).

It's very helpful to know that the interest can be frozen. I thought the best that could happen would be that it would be lowered. On what grounds can the interest be frozen and how do I ask for this? (I say "I" because he's now given me authority to handle everything - joy!:rolleyes:).
Click to expand...

Actually it was £13k that we sorted with stepchange and there was 30k tied in with the mortgage. Took 3 yrs to pay off the 13k. (2006-2009) and we paid the other loan between us in the last 2-3yrs so I could take the mortgage on my own.
Step change will be able to advise you in handling the different creditors, debt collection agencies should still take the reduced payment. A person can’t pay if they don’t have it.
 
Phoenix said:
This is excellent information, @Austina. Which provider are you with? £11 a month with 4GB of data is amazing!!! I also just googled O2 and I see plans for £10, £20 etc with very good data allowance.

Which are the 3 networks you're thinking of? I haven't lived in the UK for a long time, but off the top of my head, I can think of O2, Orange, Virgin, Vodafone.
Click to expand...

3 (Three) is a network - they were the first 3G network over here iirc
 
LJsapphire is right, the network is called 3 @Phoenix

I’ve just looked and it seems the price has gone up slightly for new users, now £13/month.

I’m assuming your friend already has a good phone, so could just get the SIM only deal.

http://www.three.co.uk/Store/SIM/Plans_for_phones
 
LJsapphire said:
3 (Three) is a network - they were the first 3G network over here iirc
Click to expand...
http://www.three.co.uk/Store/SIM-hub

If he's out of his initial contract (usually 24 months over here) he can swap to a lower, SIM-only plan with the same or another provider by calling his current provider and asking to leave, and for a PAC number (so he can transfer his number across to the new provider). It is likely that they will offer him a different plan in order to try and make him stay, so he/you should do your homework on what is available.

If he's still within the contract he signed up to, he will have to pay off the remainder of the monthly payments before he can swap (because he's still paying for the handset within the monthlies).

Giffgaff may be another option - it's an internet-community-based provider with no contract period:
https://www.giffgaff.com/free-sim-cards

EDIT: Check out USwitch - they took over the Omio site that used to list and compare the best phone and SIM deals, so they have great tools on here to search for what you want/need:
https://www.uswitch.com/mobiles/


WRT mental health, he should give Mind a call - they are a dedicated mental health charity with a hotline:
https://www.mind.org.uk/


WRT IVAs, it is my understanding that those agencies who set such things up take a cut of what you are paying, and I have been advised against that myself. I think the other way of doing it is to contact each company individually and explain the situation, to request options available.

EDIT: Debt Collection agencies are scary, it can't be denied, but all they want is to be kept in the loop - contact them and talk to them, because as mentioned above, they'd rather get something than nothing, even if it takes longer. And if something changes, contact them ASAP again - it's when the debtor disappears that people start knocking on the door or they initiate court proceedings. Most companies should have decent customer services to speak to - I believe that gone are the days where you'd speak to a rottweiler of a CS person who'd do their best to screw you over, but I can't guarantee it...


It is a somewhat irritating fact that those who can least afford credit and/or are struggling to pay credit back, are those that are hit with the highest interest rates, meaning it takes them longer and they are more likely to default.

For example, if you earn ££££££ a year you can get credit for an 80k car at ~3% APR interest at the moment (AIUI). But if you work two part time jobs at the minimum wage and have £20 spare each week, but need to buy a washing machine to keep your children's clothes clean, you can pay anywhere from 50%APR by buying from a catalogue to, what, 1600%APR? (yes, 1,600 percent, or even more) on a 'Payday Loan'.


Speaking entirely personally, I have stupid amounts of debt and missed a couple of payment dates by a day or so last year, because I couldn't get to the bank to pay it (because disorganised :rolleyes: ). Usually I get hit with a slew of 0% interest Balance Transfer offers on my credit cards after Christmas, but this year? Nothing. So I'm stuck paying c.20% interest, meaning half my payments each month go on interest alone.

If they'd give me 3% interest rates then I'd clear double each year what I can pay now, but instead, the minions are people to screw for the most amount possible because they are a 'risk' and might default :rolleyes:.


The whole world of lending is, frankly, ****ed up.

I hope you can sort your friend out, @Phoenix - you are a good friend for helping, and he has made the first step by admitting he has a problem, so together you will get through it :)
 
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Step change and I believe payplan are both charities and they don’t take a cut of the payments. Step change take a payment at the start of the month and pay creditors later that month so I believe they accrue interest.
 
Phoenix, you are a beautiful person for helping your friend in need. Because of that, the rest of my post will come from a place that will be in the interest of protecting the kind person that you are.

What is your friend doing to actively participate in cleaning up this mess that he’s created?

What is your friend doing to actively participate in his wellness? Is he going to daily gambling anonymous meetings? Is he in counseling? Is he under the care of a psychiatrist and taking medication? A suicide attempt is incredibly serious. However, it isn’t the responsibility of a friend or family member. It is the responsibility of the person who attempted. That isn’t to say that person should go it alone. Their first layer of support should be a team of professionals. The second layer of support should be friends and family.

Support isn’t doing it all for the person. Support is listening, sitting by their side, being there while they put their lives back together.

If you do this for him, he will inevitably be back here again. This is what addicts do. They make a mess of their lives and then hand it off to someone else to fix. Wash, rinse, repeat. Except, each time gets worse. The fixers, codependents, don’t realize that their kindness is actually deadly. It is very important to allow the addict to fix their own lives and to provide them DETACHED support. Anything else is dangerous for an addict.

Phoenix, I really encourage you to find an al anon group or a CODA group.

it is perfectly ok and livable to have a bankruptcy or defaulted debt on one’s record. This isn’t the end of the world. Millions of people do it everyday. Rebuilding one’s own credit is a learning experience that teaches a person to guard their credit in the future.

Finally, you aren’t responsible for this person’s actions. You won’t be responsible for saving his live and you won’t be responsible for his suicide, if he chooses it. You are only responsible for your actions. You say you’re in over your head. Maybe it’s time to decide what personal and emotional safety looks like to you in this situation with a suicidal gambling addict who’s made his debts your responsibility, the very debts that were the trigger for his attempt in the first place.

https://www.hazeldenbettyford.org/articles/detachment-with-love-gains-new-meaning
 
I thank you sooo much, everyone, for writing in with your incredibly helpful advice. I'll reply to every post.

Right now, I'll like to address the issues raised in @House Cat's. You post scares me, tbh; and also tbh, I've also been wondering.....I want and have agreed to help my friend, but I do feel he's shifted the burden onto my shoulders. I would be lying if I didn't say that this is making me resentful, somewhat. Here I am trying to recover from my health issues and now I'm stressed out trying to deal with HIS issues too.

As an update, I've agreed with the Collection Agency that my friend will be paying back GBP xxx per month and I have a commitment from my friend that he will make that payment. I've yet to speak to the bank re his OD and CC (waiting for them to call back). I will try to come to a repayment arrangement with them. Both will only work if my friend honours the commitments.

He's agreed to do overtime at work to try and make the repayments and also to use any excess to pay back the loans.

I fear, however, that the depression and the gambling issues - though abated at the moment - may resurface. He says he's been trying to make an appointment to see the GP to try and get antidepressants but he's been unable to secure an appt. I am unsure as why it is so difficult for him to go see a GP. Incidentally, it was him that said that he wanted to see a GP.

I've urged him to contact Gamblers Anonymous (thank you, @PintoBean) so that he'd have another avenue for support. To date, he hasn't contacted them yet. I will continue to urge him to get in touch with them. He's not seeing a psychiatrist because he can't afford a private one and to get one on the NHS would be very difficult, I'd imagine.

I understand what you're saying about helping him by staying detached. But what do I do now? He's not capable of dealing with the creditors himself (FYI, he can't even write an authority letter and I've had to write it for him). I can only expect that 1) he'll stop gambling (installing anti-gambling software on his phone), 2) go to the GP to get anti-depressants, 3) work OT so that he could honour his debts and pay them back asap, 4) seek help from Gamblers Anonymous etc.

The debts, however, were not the trigger for his suicide attempt. They have, no doubt, compounded his feeling of helplessness. I think, and I may be wrong here of course, that the cause is more deep-rooted, ie. his depression which I 100% agree he MUST seek help to deal with. That is unless, you're saying the trigger and the cause are two separate things.

Thank you so much for writing in with your thoughts and suggestions. As far as a support group for myself, hmm...not sure if I can find a suitable one here. I will look around.
 
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Phoenix said:
IHe says he's been trying to make an appointment to see the GP to try and get antidepressants but he's been unable to secure an appt. I am unsure as why it is so difficult for him to go see a GP. Incidentally, it was him that said that he wanted to see a GP.
Click to expand...
Difficulties getting a doctor's appointment are common over here now, it seems.

Some places won't book in advance and you have to ring when they open, but by 5 minutes past the hour they open, the appointments are gone and you have to try again tomorrow.

Or they will take advance bookings, but the next available slot is 3 weeks away.


It is frustrating and the NHS is an imperfect system, but it does mean that we don't have to spend the equivalent of US$1000 a month (or however much the average is in the USA) on family medical insurance that has a host of caveats and exclusions in the small print!
 
I am grateful for not sinking into a depression and not feeling helpless etc., and the debts were acrued entirely due to my own stupidity and wrong doings.

I sought help early, and was able to clear 25k GBP of debts on my own, with one year's repayment wiped off due to a mis-sold Payment Protection Insurance pay out by one of the creditors.

One general advice I would give: don't plege jewellery as the interest rate is sky high! I risked losing mine and swear I will not do that again.

DK :rolleyes:
 
Phoenix said:
Thank you, @Elliot86 . May I ask how you got out of debt, if you're able to share? If not, not to worry.

Yes, I do believe that the gambling is just a symptom of a much deeper problem, ie. his depression which has driven him to feeling suicidal, more than once. I believe his depression is not caused by the debts but no doubt the debts have compounded his depression. I believe he gambles because he's depressed (it's a vicious circle) and his depression is primarily driven by personal issues and also the lack of friends and family support. I feel I am out of my depth here though. All I can do is listen to him, help him to manage the debts and repayments, and encourage him to talk to counsellors/ people who are better equipped at crisis-management than I am.

I am trying not to let this overwhelm me too much...easier said than done though.:(. I do feel slightly better being able to talk here and to seek for advice. I wasn't going to ask for help, but felt I couldn't deal with this alone. Good thing he doesn't browse diamond forums, lol (have to laugh a little).
Click to expand...

I had to work really hard!

About a year before my ex and I formally separated my finances basically went to hell, I was working 60+ hour weeks and in huge emotional crisis. I was experiencing a total overwhelm. After about a year of avoiding my financial responsibilities, I laid out all my overdue bills on the bed and began calling to make payment arrangements. It was really scary because some of them were threatening litigation. Looking back now I realize there wasn't anything they could really do to me other than put me in collections but I was still scared.

I had to work really hard to pay things off but when you break it down into a monthly amount it becomes way less daunting.

The most obvious thing was that I had gotten into the situation because of rampant unchecked depression. Working with a therapist helped clear my mind enough to help me see reality, and the reality was that I have obligations to pay back debtors. My family was extremely generous and helped me finish paying one big bill I was having difficulty with.

I never wanted to make anyone feel the burden of my marital and financial breakdown, so I did have to put in a lot of work. But ultimately my friends and family were great, they were so supportive and never made me feel like this was something that was going to last forever or that I was a bad person for needing help. You sound like a great friend.

I can also attest to how physically and mentally draining it can be to call creditors. It's terrifying, you feel like they have the ability to end your whole life over mistakes you made. That's when the suicidal thoughts start to creep in. One of the most helpful things my therapist ever told me was "this is a moment in time, a blip on the radar in comparison to the whole rest of your life. "
 
House Cat said:
Phoenix, you are a beautiful person for helping your friend in need. Because of that, the rest of my post will come from a place that will be in the interest of protecting the kind person that you are.

What is your friend doing to actively participate in cleaning up this mess that he’s created?

What is your friend doing to actively participate in his wellness? Is he going to daily gambling anonymous meetings? Is he in counseling? Is he under the care of a psychiatrist and taking medication? A suicide attempt is incredibly serious. However, it isn’t the responsibility of a friend or family member. It is the responsibility of the person who attempted. That isn’t to say that person should go it alone. Their first layer of support should be a team of professionals. The second layer of support should be friends and family.

Support isn’t doing it all for the person. Support is listening, sitting by their side, being there while they put their lives back together.

If you do this for him, he will inevitably be back here again. This is what addicts do. They make a mess of their lives and then hand it off to someone else to fix. Wash, rinse, repeat. Except, each time gets worse. The fixers, codependents, don’t realize that their kindness is actually deadly. It is very important to allow the addict to fix their own lives and to provide them DETACHED support. Anything else is dangerous for an addict.

Phoenix, I really encourage you to find an al anon group or a CODA group.

it is perfectly ok and livable to have a bankruptcy or defaulted debt on one’s record. This isn’t the end of the world. Millions of people do it everyday. Rebuilding one’s own credit is a learning experience that teaches a person to guard their credit in the future.

Finally, you aren’t responsible for this person’s actions. You won’t be responsible for saving his live and you won’t be responsible for his suicide, if he chooses it. You are only responsible for your actions. You say you’re in over your head. Maybe it’s time to decide what personal and emotional safety looks like to you in this situation with a suicidal gambling addict who’s made his debts your responsibility, the very debts that were the trigger for his attempt in the first place.

https://www.hazeldenbettyford.org/articles/detachment-with-love-gains-new-meaning
Click to expand...

Thank you. I have been trying to figure out how to say all of this.

Phoenix, what you need to ask him is: “what are you going to do about that?”

I also would NOT take over talks with creditors about money because what if that somehow makes you responsible for repayment?kind of like co-signing for a debt. You need to make 100% sure you aren’t setting yourself up for disaster.

Also, if he is unwilling to speak to the creditors himself, I have 0% faith he is taking repayment seriously.
 
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