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Venting about school

Polabowla

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 15, 2019
Messages
1,707
It's infuriating tbh.
No iep yet, she just had the evals done.
(I don't think it would help anyways, since my other child with adhd has an iep and his teacher made a huge fuss over accommodating him. There is no real case manager bec its not a public school. )
 

Daisys and Diamonds

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2019
Messages
10,592
So my child had an educational evaluation & no surprise it showed that i was correct in my assessment of her abilities. Nevertheless the homework is constantly over her level.
I once again let the teachers know & got back emails insisting she can do it.
I don't get it. Do they want me to force a small child who is crying after 45 minutes that she doesn't know it, and say yes you do & do it anyway?
This makes no sense that they are so adversarial.
She is having so much anxiety it is making her sick.
And why does she have 5 things for homework a night anyway?!

Im sorry if this has been asked before but can you change schools
my sister had a lot of trouble with her son and his learning difficulties but the difference a new school made was life changing for the entire family

Its often about the principle
 

Daisys and Diamonds

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2019
Messages
10,592
@Daisys and Diamonds it's a great idea but this is the best in the area :(

Oh dear :(2
Im afraid you just have to battle on for the sake of her future

you know i did not have a good time with teachers at primary school
My stadard 4 teacher told mum and dad he thought i was **please use appropriate language**
The next year i was off to intermediate (middle school) and my report cards improved dramatically
.....guess i wasn't **please use appropriate language** after all :angryfire:

Anyway what im saying is i know the problem isnt the same but your daughter will be ok in the long run
but that in no way makes it sux any less now
 
Last edited by a moderator:

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
45,793
So my child had an educational evaluation & no surprise it showed that i was correct in my assessment of her abilities. Nevertheless the homework is constantly over her level.
I once again let the teachers know & got back emails insisting she can do it.
I don't get it. Do they want me to force a small child who is crying after 45 minutes that she doesn't know it, and say yes you do & do it anyway?
This makes no sense that they are so adversarial.
She is having so much anxiety it is making her sick.
And why does she have 5 things for homework a night anyway?!

@Polabowla I am so sorry you are still dealing with this madness. It is unreal. SMH for you and I shared this with Greg and he too is incredulous. I wish I could help somehow. This is just so unfair and unrealistic. They are slowly demoralizing the kids and beating them and the parents down for what? Arghhh. This is not OK. Making kids anxious is not a helpful life tool. I am so sorry. You are doing all you can. I wish the option of changing schools was possible because this is a toxic learning environment and I use the word learning ironically. :(

Sending you and your DD so many good wishes and gentle hugs. I wish I could offer something more. XO.
 

rainydaze

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
May 1, 2007
Messages
3,004
@Daisys and Diamonds it's a great idea but this is the best in the area :(

I am appalled reading how your school is handling educating during the pandemic. It's absurd, thoughtless, and just plain sad. I feel for you and your kiddos Polabowla!

May I ask, is it the best in terms of ratings and overall, or the best for your child's learning style/needs?

If the former, it might be worth learning about the other schools available to you to find out if they are handling things differently, and if they have better execution of their IEP programs (since it sounds like this child may need such assistance down the road, and you already know from experience that it's not good here). If so, one of these schools may be the best for your child, because it actually gives your child the environment, support, and space to learn, without anxiety and pressure. The best isn't the best if it's not working for your child.

I say this as someone who is raising our kids in a town with a top-rated public school system (nationally recognized even) who has chosen and maneuvered through other schools over the years because they fit our children's needs better. I have seen the benefit of this ten-fold. And also the benefit of the public schools here when we felt it was the right time and fit for them. And also the negative of the public school when it wasn't the right fit (one child performed extremely well academically but at the expense of their mental health ... we have changed their school and although it has only been a few weeks, can see a positive difference already.)

Ha, some poor grammar there but I need another cup of coffee to fix it! :P2
 

Polabowla

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 15, 2019
Messages
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@rainydaze no you make a lot of sense!
The public school is unfortunately one of the lowest rated. We are trying to move to a better district, but it's very hard process.

Sadly all the private schools in the area are the same (or worse) for helping kids with various needs.
We already switched schools once to accommodate their learning needs & that school was way worse.

@missy i don't see the point either. It's just harmful to everyone now.
 

rainydaze

Ideal_Rock
Premium
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May 1, 2007
Messages
3,004
Oh Powlabowla, I feel so much for you. Sounds like you're stuck between a rock and a hard place - and when that involves your kids it's even harder to bear. I wish I could snap my fingers and make a viable option available to you, but since I can't I will reiterate my validation that this school is handling things horribly. There is simply no need, value, or justification for the way the have chosen to face the challenges and shepherd their students through this difficult time. I'm so sorry!
 

LemonMoonLex

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 13, 2018
Messages
1,720
So my child had an educational evaluation & no surprise it showed that i was correct in my assessment of her abilities. Nevertheless the homework is constantly over her level.
I once again let the teachers know & got back emails insisting she can do it.
I don't get it. Do they want me to force a small child who is crying after 45 minutes that she doesn't know it, and say yes you do & do it anyway?
This makes no sense that they are so adversarial.
She is having so much anxiety it is making her sick.
And why does she have 5 things for homework a night anyway?!

I'm gonna be a bit crude & frank here, but they can go f^ck themselves.

Seriously.
 

Polabowla

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 15, 2019
Messages
1,707
I want to scream. After my child had her evaluation showing that she cannot actually do the assignments, the school still twice had 45 minute calls with us insisting we don't want to help her .....
Why? Why?
Oh and they had no idea she wasn't given modified assignments like she was supposed to get (that she can't do either btw)
 
Last edited:

Daisys and Diamonds

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2019
Messages
10,592
I want to scream. After my child had her evaluation showing that she cannot actually do the assignments, the school still twice had 45 minute calls with us insisting we don't want to help her .....
Why? Why?
Oh and they had no idea she wasn't given modified assignments like she was supposed to get (that she can't do either btw)

This is redicoulss :angryfire:

Can you home school or do correspondence school ?
 

Daisys and Diamonds

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2019
Messages
10,592
No because of the district services are only in person

Can you enrol in some foreign correspondence type school
What languages does your family speck ?
I know im grasping at straws but there must be around the local educational authority
 

Polabowla

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 15, 2019
Messages
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@Daisys and Diamonds i never heard of that.
@LLJsmom she & 2 other kids qualify for special education services that i cannot provide (physical therapy, special education etc.) Insurance doesn't cover it, and the board of ed only pays teachers in school.

So we are trying to find a place to move with a different school that has a special needs program but the market is very tight.

It just baffles me that they refuse to accept her capabilities are different, and keep insisting we are not helping her enough.
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Jun 8, 2008
Messages
45,793
@Daisys and Diamonds i never heard of that.
@LLJsmom she & 2 other kids qualify for special education services that i cannot provide (physical therapy, special education etc.) Insurance doesn't cover it, and the board of ed only pays teachers in school.

So we are trying to find a place to move with a different school that has a special needs program but the market is very tight.

It just baffles me that they refuse to accept her capabilities are different, and keep insisting we are not helping her enough.

@Polabowla I am sending you and your children so many good wishes and lots of good luck dust. I hope you can find the right school soon. You are doing all you can and your children are so lucky to have you. Big hugs. Hang in there. ((((HUGS)))).
 

Daisys and Diamonds

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Messages
10,592
@Daisys and Diamonds i never heard of that.
@LLJsmom she & 2 other kids qualify for special education services that i cannot provide (physical therapy, special education etc.) Insurance doesn't cover it, and the board of ed only pays teachers in school.

So we are trying to find a place to move with a different school that has a special needs program but the market is very tight.

It just baffles me that they refuse to accept her capabilities are different, and keep insisting we are not helping her enough.

I am very sad that this is so difficult for your family
i most sincerely hope something changes for the better asap
i have no idea if you can do corrisoondence from another country but i don't see why not ?
kids from off shore islands and remote farms and also sick kids who cant go to school still have to learn to read and write
Do they not have corrisoondence school in other countries?
 

Polabowla

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 15, 2019
Messages
1,707
Thank you so much @missy I am losing sleep over this. Both from aggravation & also because they keep pushing my child too hard & trying to insist i do the same (which i won't do) and she is exhausted.


@Daisys and Diamonds idk i never heard of it here
 

Polabowla

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 15, 2019
Messages
1,707
The thing is in school it seems like she knows some work but she is not really processing & retaining the work.
So by the time we do homework, she truly is lost and i need to re-teach every single thing.
The school is not listening to me & the reports that explain this, so they insist she can do it.
But she truly cannot, it is just way beyond her.
 

Daisys and Diamonds

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2019
Messages
10,592
Thousands over a year.... :'(
One of my kids needed physical therapy as a small child & it costs a few hundred a session.

Oh this just sucks
Id be going to the media for help if the attention and possible repercussions from the teacher toward your child wasn't going to be an issue
 

rainydaze

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
May 1, 2007
Messages
3,004
I feel so sad for your daughter and you. These people need to get their sh*t together, fast. We have too much knowledge and understanding of education, learning challenges, and mental health causes/effects (read: they are only succeeding in setting her up for an anxiety disorder) for this to be happening.

A house with a better school will come along for you, I can feel it.
 

kipari

Ideal_Rock
Premium
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Jan 9, 2015
Messages
2,947
Thousands over a year.... :'(
One of my kids needed physical therapy as a small child & it costs a few hundred a session.

Whatttttttttt?
I'm shocked. And I'm sorry.

PE for children is 34€ /session for my children. Language therapist also 34€/ session. If you don't have private insurance to complement, you'll get 70% back.



I'm sorry about the problems you've been having from the beginning.

I know the feeling of being tied to a school. It's frustrating.


But @Daisys and Diamonds idea is genius. Since they're remote, why not switch to a better school far away?

You can switch back when you guys need to go back in person.
 

Polabowla

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 15, 2019
Messages
1,707
@kipari those costs are so much more reasonable!
The kids are in person now, that's the only way she can get her therapies. They don't do it over zoom

How are things with your child's teacher?
 
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