Vasectomy questions

[packrat]

Fun topic, yeah? I'm sure my husband would be thrilled to pieces to know I'm asking but whatever. I want to ask parties that have no vested interest so's I can have my facts straight, and not just "guys trying to help out other guys" type thing.

We're done having kids. I've done my part with 2 Csections, and he has agreed that he will be the one getting fixed. He's asked everyone he knows who has had a vasectomy, some are horror stories and he attributes those to the guys being pansies. Some of the newer stories give me pause tho and this is why I'm asking.

Does he need to have the procedure and then do ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY NOTHING for like 3 days? I don't expect him to shingle the roof. I'm not a big fat ole witch. I am however incredibly unsympathetic. I freely admit it.

I'm unsympathetic b/c I had my hernia fixed, and was back to work in 3 days-and during those 3 days I still did laundry, dishes, took care of the kids, kept the house up like normal, I was just massively slow and walked around like John Wayne. Tonsils out, up cleaning the house and doing dishes 5 hours after waking up from anesthesia, while he took a nap b/c he'd had to get up early to take me to the hospital. After both c sections the day I came home I was throwing clothes to the bottom of the stairs and clinging to the railing on my way down, dishes, vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom etc. I'm a wife and mother, nobody is going to take care of me, it's been made quite clear, so I have to suck it up and do it.

However, I really really get sick of it. It's one thing to take care of the kids when I'm sick, it's another to take care of the kids when I'm sick and he's NOT. It *always* falls to me, no matter what, even if I'm crawling across the floor b/c we're all sick, which I have done numerous times.

I want to tell him to stay at his mom's during that time. Cuz he literally is expecting me to wait on him hand and foot for 3 days-b/c otherwise he will swell up and be in agony and his recovery will take so much longer and he'll have all kinds of complications. He said he should only get up to go to the bathroom and that's it. For 3 days.

Please please tell me he's being fed the wrong information.

 

[somethingshiny]

The only experience I've had with men who've had it done is 2 of my previous bosses. One was in his late 30's, the other in his mid-fifties. Both of them came back to work the same day. They walked a little gingerly but that was it. They are both doctors so they don't have the most tedious of jobs but a lot of walking.

My personal opinion is that the man should ALWAYS be the one to get sterilized. It's a simple, inexpensive, out-patient procedure with minimal recovery time. A woman's sterilization is much more dangerous, expensive and longer recovery.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Who is he asking? Guys in real life or on the internet? My dh did google searches and asked on his guy forum and got various responses re: how it causes all kinds of damage, etc., hurts, etc., but he got it done and survived just fine!

Like you, I had 2 c/s and was finished and DH went in, WALKED out (not like he needed to be carried on a gurney), and went to the pharmacy where they gave him an RX for vicodin...which I do not think he actually needed! He was sore, I'm sure, but definetly not bedridden for three days. Unless there is some unusual complication, my guess is the three-day-lay-around-rule is a guys way of just laying around guilt free! The guy may even find some "evidence" to support that beer makes healing go more quickly. Uh, men and whining about their man parts.

Lets see one of them get a c/s, come home with a newborn, breast feed that newborn 5X during the night, watch over a toddler, change both sets of diapers and be stuck having nut-case relatives calling every hour who offer to help out if only *I* go pick them up. Where is our beers, vidocin, and fun stuff like that?

 

[Pandora II]

My father used to do the things so I'll ask him when I see him tomorrow what he reckons the recovery time should honestly be.

One of his colleagues did his own vasectomy - and then cycled home. Yup, really!

 

[Dreamer_D]

My husband's best friend had it done a year or so ago. He lived near us and I saw him a fair amount. He said it was like getting kicked in the crotch really hard. He did not go for his daily runs for a few weeks. And he may have avoided heavy lifting. But he was walking and working and cooking and everything if not the same day, within a day. He certainly did not lie about for 3 days.

 

[SuzyQZ]

My father used to do the things so I'll ask him when I see him tomorrow what he reckons the recovery time should honestly be.

One of his colleagues did his own vasectomy - and then cycled home. Yup, really!

I literally just laughed outloud at my desk!

Not "Ha Ha" funny, but OMG I can't believe it!

 

[TheDoctor]

He should already be sterile from the number of times you should have kicked him in the balls.

 

[iheartscience]

My father used to do the things so I'll ask him when I see him tomorrow what he reckons the recovery time should honestly be.

One of his colleagues did his own vasectomy - and then cycled home. Yup, really!

I literally just laughed outloud at my desk!

Not "Ha Ha" funny, but OMG I can't believe it!

HA, same! That's impressive!

And packrat, your husband is clearly being a giant baby. I think you sending him to his mom's is a great idea.

 

[SuzyQZ]

My father used to do the things so I'll ask him when I see him tomorrow what he reckons the recovery time should honestly be.

One of his colleagues did his own vasectomy - and then cycled home. Yup, really!

I literally just laughed outloud at my desk!

Not "Ha Ha" funny, but OMG I can't believe it!

HA, same! That's impressive!And packrat, your husband is clearly being a giant baby. I think you sending him to his mom's is a great idea.

Now THAT guy has cojones! Disconnected, but cojones nonetheless!

 

[TheDoctor]

Speaking from personal experience, my pain lasted less than a few hours. I wan't riding a bike, mind you. There was sensitivity, yes, but not any sort of chronic pain.
You will need to practice full-on birth control for several weeks or more afterward. I had to be tested twice because my swimmers were not giving up easily...still positive after 8 weeks.

 

[MonkeyPie]

He should already be sterile from the number of times you should have kicked him in the balls.

ROFL you are awesome. And right! What a lazy bum, making you do all the work after freaking hernia surgery! Heads would have rolled if it had been me. Actually...I would have gone to my moms and left him home with the baby to fend for himself.

That said, every guy has a different reaction. But from what I understand, it isn't horrible for most men. His bullsh*t about "three days of doing nothing" is just that - bullsh*t. Tell him to go to his mommy's house like a wee lad that fell off his bike, because you will not have time to coddle him.

 

[Miss Sparkly]

Note: I haven't read the other responses yet. DH had his Vasectomy at age 22. We both knew that we didn't want children and that to have an oops pregnancy would be devastating. DH bounces back very quickly from illnesses and is in excellent health. With that being said, he really wasn't able to do much for the few days afterwards. His testicles were bruised which caused a lot of pain when walking and sitting wasn't much better. His preferred method of resting was slouched far down on the couch playing video games while putting ice on himself. Even a week later he was walking with a gimp and would tell people he hurt himself playing tennis (we avoid the baby question as often as possible). The actual procedure went very smoothly and was quite interesting to watch! He took a Valium beforehand to make him loopy and they used local anesthetic to numb the area. DH was seeing so many rainbows he didn't notice the pinch of the needle His experiences may also depend greatly on who does the procedure. We went through planned parenthood because of the cost and the fact that they didn't have an age requirement. Through them it was doctors in training doing the procedure but being supervised by actual doctors.

eta: he can do a lot more than just go the bathroom! DH took a week off from work (he has a ridiculously large amount of vacation and sick time) and still gimped around getting food, doing the the dishes, washing the clothes and helping out where he could.

 

[iluvcarats]

My dh is a urologist. He had it done on a Friday and was back at work Monday, and he wasn't in bed all weekend. It's really not that big of a deal - not like giving birth or anything

 

[luv2sparkle]

Packrat, give him and ice pack and tell him to suck it up. My DH SHOULD have had one but I had my tubes tied after my last c-section.
(4 total). I am with you no sympathy. I wouldn't offer for him to go to his mom's cuz frankly she will probably wait on him hand and
foot and that just gives him a reason to be a big fat baby. If he complains point out all the times you have had to suck it up!

I could go on but I will stop.

 

[DivaDiamond007]

My DH had a vasectomy done in late April. He went in on a Friday afternoon, we were at the outpatient place for only about an hour and he spent about a day slouched on the couch with a bag of frozen peas. He was bruised and swollen for a few days, but he went back to work on Monday and is totally fine now. I did't baby him too much; I also freely admit that I wasn't too sympathetic especially when you consider that I had a 3rd degree (or was it a 4th degree?) episiotomy and broke my tailbone delivering our first; and had an emergency c-section due to a placental abruption with our second. The discomfort he felt was nothing comparatively!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Speaking from personal experience, my pain lasted less than a few hours. I wan't riding a bike, mind you. There was sensitivity, yes, but not any sort of chronic pain.
You will need to practice full-on birth control for several weeks or more afterward. I had to be tested twice because my swimmers were not giving up easily...still positive after 8 weeks.

When dh had his, the dr said to keep using birth control for three months after.

 

[packrat]

Thanks guys! I KNEW it couldn't be so. KNEW. I mean..I know men aren't generally wired for things like women are, nothing against men (no parking, no putting butter in the wrong spot arguments!) but I think it's a fact of life that women are geared to run on less sleep and "deal" with things where a man isn't, pain being one of them. Generally. I know there are exceptions, I do, I'm not ragging on men to be mean.

I felt bad when he was telling me what he'd been told, b/c it made me FURIOUS. My hands were shaking I was so mad. I just wanted to say "Whatever, kick me as hard as you can in the crotch and then I'll get the scalpel and you can have two pseudo sections and we'll see who's in more pain"

Seriously, the replies have made me crack up! I was going to have him read this thread to see the truth but, I sound like a big bitch and I think it would start a fight.

Doctor, ohhh that made me burst out laughing!

I know it's not going to be pleasant but..honest to Pete I think guys as a general rule make the whole thing out to be this HUGE ordeal and MASSIVE undertaking, when in truth it's a minimal procedure. It's not open heart surgery, it's not the amputation of an arm or leg. It makes me want to make snarky comments and I know that's mean but cripes. It gets me all wound up.

He said he was told it's the complete opposite of what you'd normally expect after you have surgery, you don't want to get up and do anything b/c it will cause complications, whereas w/every other surgery you want to not lay around b/c you'll heal slower.

Oh, and he's not gotten any info from the internet, it's all been from guys around here that he knows. I've got a physical tomorrow so I'm asking Dr about it too, and maybe she can get some info from the Dr. across the hall that does it to give me evidence of the truth.

 

[PinkTower]

My dh is a urologist. He had it done on a Friday and was back at work Monday, and he wasn't in bed all weekend. It's really not that big of a deal - not like giving birth or anything

Exactly. I think we had about the same schedule; if surgery is on Friday, it is not necessary to miss work after the weekend. He did have some swelling/pain and had to go back in for a recheck, but it was not enough to miss work.

 

[Bliss]

Packrat, this makes me angry for you! Doing the laundry and climbing stairs to do so the DAY you had a c-section!??!?!??? I had a baby the natural way and even then, I didn't do a dish or a lick of housework for about 3 months!!!! It is enough to take care of a baby and recover, geez!!! And even then, I had help. You are going to ruin your health overextending yourself this way. Why are women expected to do it all? It takes two people to have a baby so it should take two people to raise a baby! And that is crazy about you doing so much work after hernia surgery!!!!

It reminds me of a woman we know who did it all. She ran the house, took care of the kids and ran herself ragged, had many health problems and looked the part. She looked about 20 years older than her well fed, well rested, cushy-life livin' husband. He then left her for a much younger woman because I guess she didn't measure up to his standards of attractiveness after slaving away for him for so many years.

I take care of my DH and he takes care of me. So since he took such good care of me after having a baby, if he needed the time to recover from a vasectomy I would absolutely wait on him hand and foot. But if he left me to fend for myself after giving birth and I was also RUNNING THE HOUSE, and then expected me to wait on him hand and foot for a vasectormy...Shoot, I'd probably volunteer to give him the vasectomy myself! I think I have a set of those dull plastic knives from take-out Chinese food somewhere...

What would have happened if you had let the laundry pile up? Maybe he would have done it?

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Packrat, this makes me angry for you! Doing the laundry and climbing stairs to do so the DAY you had a c-section!??!?!??? I had a baby the natural way and even then, I didn't do a dish or a lick of housework for about 3 months!!!! It is enough to take care of a baby and recover, geez!!! And even then, I had help. You are going to ruin your health overextending yourself this way. Why are women expected to do it all? It takes two people to have a baby so it should take two people to raise a baby! And that is crazy about you doing so much work after hernia surgery!!!! It reminds me of a woman we know who did it all. She ran the house, took care of the kids and ran herself ragged, had many health problems and looked the part. She looked about 20 years older than her well fed, well rested, cushy-life livin' husband. He then left her for a much younger woman because I guess she didn't measure up to his standards of attractiveness after slaving away for him for so many years.

I take care of my DH and he takes care of me. So since he took such good care of me after having a baby, if he needed the time to recover from a vasectomy I would absolutely wait on him hand and foot. But if he left me to fend for myself after giving birth and I was also RUNNING THE HOUSE, and then expected me to wait on him hand and foot for a vasectormy...Shoot, I'd probably volunteer to give him the vasectomy myself! I think I have a set of those dull plastic knives from take-out Chinese food somewhere...

What would have happened if you had let the laundry pile up? Maybe he would have done it?

This could make for an interesting thread....

 

[Dancing Fire]

He should already be sterile from the number of times you should have kicked him in the balls.

That said, every guy has a different reaction. But from what I understand, it isn't horrible for most men. His bullsh*t about "three days of doing nothing" is just that - bullsh*t. Tell him to go to his mommy's house like a wee lad that fell off his bike, because you will not have time to coddle him.

..what if it doesn't work anymore after a vasectomy?

 

[packrat]

Not the day of the c-sections, it was when I came home so..2 or 3 days. I tell him I'm tough b/c I'm a Swede.

 

[kenny]

He should already be sterile from the number of times you should have kicked him in the balls.

Hahahahaha!

 

[lliang_chi]

Bliss, some men will just let the laundry pile up. So the whole "going on strike" idea sometimes just serves to give you MORE WORK to do when YOU finally get sick and tired of it.

Packrat. Two words: Cleaning Service. Seriously if he's not going to do a lick of housework, he's going to have to pay out of his pocket. That's just my thoughts. Anyway, I remember your thread before/after your tonsil surgery. I have to say my DH is along the same lines too, maybe does a little bit of laundry, dishes and cleans the bathroom once a month (yikes ). It does feel overwhelming sometimes. Like, "Why do I have to do *everything*?" I don't think there's anything I can say to make you feel better about it, but just know you're not alone, sister!

~LC

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

Tell him if he can get a written and signed note from the doctor to say that he is not allowed to do anything for 3 days because of the risk of further complications and the best thing to do is to lie around doing nothing, tell him he can do it... At his mothers place!!

 

[MonkeyPie]

He should already be sterile from the number of times you should have kicked him in the balls.

That said, every guy has a different reaction. But from what I understand, it isn't horrible for most men. His bullsh*t about "three days of doing nothing" is just that - bullsh*t. Tell him to go to his mommy's house like a wee lad that fell off his bike, because you will not have time to coddle him.

..what if it doesn't work anymore after a vasectomy?

I researched it - as far as I can see online (just did this quick), that doesn't happen.

"Sexual Difficulties - It is usually reported that men who undergo vasectomy and their partners express greater enjoyment and spontaneity of sex. However, occasionally a man may experience sexual problems after vasectomy, but these almost always have an emotional basis. Counseling usually alleviates the problem. "

http://www.vasectomy.com/ProcedureDetail.asp?siteid=V&Id=4

ETA: I have this intense urge to go on a rant about how guys are wimps and they make such a big deal out of everything...but that would be "sexism", wouldn't it?

 

[Dandi]

It's such a tiny incision, actual surgical pain shouldn't be that much of a problem, but we tell patients to stay off their feet as much as possible for about 3 days to avoid swelling, because that can cause pretty nasty problems. Alot of guys return to work on day 2, everyone's different. Alot of guys just have local anaesthetic and no sedation or general. If he takes it easy and ices his pink bits fairly constantly over the first 48 hours (20 minutes on, 20 minutes off) and wears really supportive jocks for a week he should be fine.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

It's such a tiny incision, actual surgical pain shouldn't be that much of a problem, but we tell patients to stay off their feet as much as possible for about 3 days to avoid swelling, because that can cause pretty nasty problems. Alot of guys return to work on day 2, everyone's different. Alot of guys just have local anaesthetic and no sedation or general. If he takes it easy and ices his pink bits fairly constantly over the first 48 hours (20 minutes on, 20 minutes off) and wears really supportive jocks for a week he should be fine.

This is what I remembered when my husband had it done a long time ago. I don't see any problem in letting them lie around for a weekend, personally. But if you are already doing all the household work by yourself packrat, I do encourage you to tell him you will be hiring cleaning help. My husband does all the yard and car work and helps in the kitchen, but I have always earned a little extra money to pay for a maid service!

 

[Cehrabehra]

I let him lay low as long as he wanted... I don't think he did nothing for 3 days but he also didn't do a lot for a couple weeks. There was a pulling sensation occasionally, kinda painful, for a couple months but it didn't happen a lot and it totally went away. No further complications! Yay!!!

 

[PinkTower]

Not the day of the c-sections, it was when I came home so..2 or 3 days. I tell him I'm tough b/c I'm a Swede.

So, you wanted to do all this work, to prove you are tough? No wonder you needed hernia repair.