Upset at Hen''s Night- (Long story)

[jewelz617]

That was rude of them, but so was that e-mail. It totally stinks when people pull that kind of stuff, but you're a big girl. You need to brush it off and move on. Tears and e-mails aren't going to accomplish anything except making you even more stressed and make you look like a hysterical bride. Not cool.

ETA: It would be wise to send a follow up apology ASAP. Considering these are people your fiance may care to see again.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

DO NOT have anyone at your wedding you do not feel comfortable having there. In my opinion, not having people there who will act like that far outweighs any rules of etiquette.

 

[Sha]

Date: 2/10/2010 3:01:28 PM
Author: Smurfyimproved
DO NOT have anyone at your wedding you do not feel comfortable having there. In my opinion, not having people there who will act like that far outweighs any rules of etiquette.

They''re her fianice''s friends, and it''s his wedding too.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Date: 2/10/2010 7:00:14 PM
Author: Sha

Date: 2/10/2010 3:01:28 PM

Author: Smurfyimproved

DO NOT have anyone at your wedding you do not feel comfortable having there. In my opinion, not having people there who will act like that far outweighs any rules of etiquette.

They''re her fianice''s friends, and it''s his wedding too.

Sorry just biased over here in my corner. But really, he should be more concerned about how she feels the day of the wedding then the friends, just my two cents though

 

[pocahontas]

I don''t normally comment on threads like this one, Loveisblind. But, I have to say PP and Rainwood took the words right out of my mouth.

 

[jewelz617]

Date: 2/10/2010 11:40:59 PM
Author: Smurfyimproved

Date: 2/10/2010 7:00:14 PM

Author: Sha

Date: 2/10/2010 3:01:28 PM


Author: Smurfyimproved


DO NOT have anyone at your wedding you do not feel comfortable having there. In my opinion, not having people there who will act like that far outweighs any rules of etiquette.

They''re her fianice''s friends, and it''s his wedding too.

Sorry just biased over here in my corner. But really, he should be more concerned about how she feels the day of the wedding then the friends, just my two cents though

Yes, he should be concerned about her, but he should also be concerned if he''s going to be losing friends left and right every time someone in the future slights his lady love. If I sent scathing e-mails to my husband''s friends every time they did something to annoy me, not only would it embarrass him but no one would want to be around us. Marriage is about tackling problems as PARTNERS, not barreling ahead on emotionally charged rants without thinking of the future implications.

The thing about Bridezilla behavior is this: marriage and weddings is about celebrating a union between two people who love each other and want to share a life together. It''s not about being Queen of the Day. There are TWO people getting married and she seems to have forgotten that. An apology is in order. Something along the lines of "I am so sorry for my behavior. I am letting the stress of this event get to me but we would be delighted to have you at our wedding and I hope you will consider attending." Then send a nice bottle of wine with a nice handwritten note as well. It''s better to be a gracious bride who admitted to making a mistake than forever being known as a demanding Bridezilla.

If you don''t make this right, it could be a snowball effect into future things like dinner parties, anniversary celebrations. Don''t isolate yourself at the starting line.

 

[tyty333]

Date: 2/8/2010 10:36:03 AM
Author: purrfectpear

Date: 2/8/2010 1:05:49 AM
Author:loveisblind
***How you and (girls name) behaved was really rude, disrespectable and
inapproproate. If you do still intend on coming to my wedding please
do not behave in such a manner and don''t expect me to show overt
friendliness towards you.

My fiancé would still really like you and your husband, his
friend to come to our wedding. However should you wish not to come
please let us know as soon as possible so we can arrange for someone
else to come, who would actually want to be there.

Regards,
(my name)
Mobile number

Am I just becoming a Bridezilla? Or would you too be offended. My wedding is in 2 weeks and I rather they did not turn up, after how they behaved. What do yuu think?

You''re joking right? I think that question has been answered

I''ve got to agree with PP.

I think you are expecting too much from people who are just acquaintances (friends of friends). The email was
way over the top.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Oh for some reason I was under the impression that they were more casual acquaintances then friend friends My bad if I was wrong

 

[Elmorton]

Send an apology. STAT.

I''m a afraid I''m bordering on PP bluntness here, but you also owe your FI an apology - I can''t imagine how embarrassed he must be. I''d be livid if my partner sent an e-mail like that to a work colleague.

Being stressed goes with the territory of weddings...booze doesn''t exactly make those situations better, either. You have two outs. Hope these ladies feel like being gracious and forgiving...twice, apparently.

 

[zoebartlett]

I''m late to join this, but I have to ask whether I''m the only one wondering if this is real. If so, my apologies.

I''m with most of the others in thinking that yes, you were over the line. I can see why you''d be annoyed at the girls'' late arrival, but in the end, they DID come. To be greeted the way they were was pretty rude. I''m assuming that''s why they left the way they did, and if I were them, I''d be very uncomfortable joining the group if I had just been greeted that way after making the effort to get there.

As others have said, I also think that you owe your FI an apology too. Your e-mail was definitely not appropriate. These girls are SOs of your FI''s friends, and this now puts him in a very awkward position.

 

[CharmyPoo]

I am new to the brides sub-forum so I apologize if I am out of line. Your email is really over the top. I would be completely shocked if I received it and not attend your wedding. If I were you, I would send an email and apologize that you were stressed and that your email is out of line.

They were wrong in showing up late but any gracious host will just say it is alright and please come and enjoy. You made it sound like you didn''t want them there at all - if I were them .. I would have wanted to leave too.

A wedding is not just about you - it''s about a celebration with your friends and family. It''s the start of a life filled with compromises. I know I have done many things to keep my family happy. It''s a small scarfice to start things off the right foot.