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Trying to figure out the logic

YadaYadaYada

YadaYadaYada

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Feb 2, 2016
Messages
12,160
I sold something on EBay recently and made an error in the listing. The buyer left positive feedback with a negative comment, she was obviously upset. I sent her a message to apologize and asked what a reasonable outcome would be. Now granted, I could have just left it alone but I don't want someone to be unhappy so I was trying to make it right, I would hope someone would do the same if the tables were turned.

I offered her a partial refund and asked what she thinks a fair price would be with the error considered, the item sold for $500 and she said $300-$350. Okay well in my mind that's totally doable and then she hit me with:

"I'm not looking for a refund"

??

Maybe I'm crazy but if I was unhappy and someone offered a little money back to rectify the situation then why not take it? Her messages have been rather hostile but not directly at me things like she works hard for her money and doesn't want to feel cheated...okay then why not take me up on the offer?

I'm thinking she might open a case with PayPal and that's why she isn't going for it, if so then fine, my mistake and I will learn from it. I just can't wrap my head around the logic here.
 
I'm sorry you're dealing with a jerk. Some people don't use logic unfortunately. Just keep good records of your correspondence so you have evidence of trying to please someone who can't be pleased.

Lol, I probably sound pretty negative but I get tired of hearing about people like this. What is wrong with them?!?
 
Gussie said:
I'm sorry you're dealing with a jerk. Some people don't use logic unfortunately. Just keep good records of your correspondence so you have evidence of trying to please someone who can't be pleased.

Lol, I probably sound pretty negative but I get tired of hearing about people like this. What is wrong with them?!?
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No not negative at all, I agree and I don't take returns on EBay to avoid fraud but if she had told me she wants to return instead of a partial refund I would have been fine with it. Like why is it so hard to be reasonable? I guess some people just like to complain.
 
On one hand I can empathsize with the buyer, as she has been disappointed by the buying experience and the product itself.

I had been in similar situations before, had high hopes for something, then found it to be disappointing, it was like being thrown a bucket of ice-cold water after jumping up and down full of excitement. Luckily this has only happened on a handful of occasions, and I just cut my losses and run.

On the other, I can also relate to the seller as I have sold a few things via eBay myself. There is not a lot the seller can do if the buyer is not willing to negotiate or accept the compensation offer.

I had to open a case with eBay recently due to non-delivery of goods as a buyer, and the seller asked me to wait longer, to check with the Post Office myself, and then they said they would check with the PO themselves, before they agreed to refund me in full. I was happy with that outcome, and went straight to buy the same thing from them right away, and received the goods right away.

All the communications were logged with eBay, and it went smoothly without any issues.

Good luck, and I hope you and the buyer can resolve this amicably soon.

DK :))
 
JPie said:
This! She’s cutting her nose off to spite her face.

Takes all kinds. :snooty:
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There are people in this world who would comment "shame that is not the first prize" after winning a substantial money in the lottery. They do my head in as I am happy just to get the money I paid for a scratch card back as winning!

DK :))
 
Okay, I really thought I was going crazy! Guess not!
 
I think some people just don't want to take advantage. I don't know..Maybe she felt like the exchange was sufficient with the offer and called it a day.

I am maybe similar, as I am also the lady that won't complain when a restaurant gives me the absolute wrong meal I did not order either, because I don't like to create a problem.
 
YadaYadaYada said:
Okay, I really thought I was going crazy! Guess not!
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On top of that, some people think they are always right as they are the customers/buyers!

DK :))
 
Is you contacting her back and offering a return to her, even though you normally don t accept them, a better situation than her opening up an eBay claim?
Because of the listing error, I’m thinking you’ll have to cover shipping both ways?
Are you out more doing this than letting eBay claims work it’s magic in the favor of the purchaser or is this an instance it’s cheaper for you to refund her in full and let her keep the item?
 
Personally, I would do what I can to protect my 100% feedback score to date since I started my eBay account in 2002, most of it as buyers as I have not sold much.

It is advisable to enter a comment that steps have been taken to address the issue for the negative feedback left by the buyer, in case she will not retract her feedback.

DK :))
 
I took an offer for a partial refund once. Seller said stone was eye clean and it clearly wasn't. The partial refund was enough because I decided to keep the stone, and the inclusion wasn't as obvious once the stone was set.

Her behavior is nonsensical. She just wanted to get a jab in by making a crappy comment along with positive feedback, when what she should be saying is how great your customer service is. Sorry you're having to deal with that!
 
Rfisher said:
Is you contacting her back and offering a return to her, even though you normally don t accept them, a better situation than her opening up an eBay claim?
Because of the listing error, I’m thinking you’ll have to cover shipping both ways?
Are you out more doing this than letting eBay claims work it’s magic in the favor of the purchaser or is this an instance it’s cheaper for you to refund her in full and let her keep the item?
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See here's the thing, she might not open a claim (all that has happened so far is she left positive feedback with a negative comment) so then if she wanted to return wouldn't she have said that she would rather a full on return and refund than declining a partial? Also I'm aware that she could open a claim and possibly not only get her money back but also keep the item but then wouldn't she have done that from the beginning? None of this makes any sense to me.

I'm going to leave it alone, I have offered to rectify and she declined, if I keep it up she might consider it harassment. It does not seem I'm dealing with a reasonable person.
 
dk168 said:
Personally, I would do what I can to protect my 100% feedback score to date since I started my eBay account in 2002, most of it as buyers as I have not sold much.

It is advisable to enter a comment that steps have been taken to address the issue for the negative feedback left by the buyer, in case she will not retract her feedback.

DK :))
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Our account is from 2002 as well, have not had an issue all these years with anything I've sold. Honestly I have a couple other jewelry items I might just pull off because this is just not worth it.

Now I get what you are saying about leaving a comment to address hers but I worry that will set her off! I guess I'm just trying not to make a bad situation worse you know? I'm really thinking of just leaving this alone and hoping nothing else comes of it further.

I didn't offer a partial refund for this reason but I almost wonder if EBay would look upon it favorably if she did open a case that I offered and she declined.
 
@Starfacet, see that is totally reasonable and makes sense. I swear that she is just one of those people that has to spread her misery around!
 
YadaYadaYada said:
Our account is from 2002 as well, have not had an issue all these years with anything I've sold. Honestly I have a couple other jewelry items I might just pull off because this is just not worth it.

Now I get what you are saying about leaving a comment to address hers but I worry that will set her off! I guess I'm just trying not to make a bad situation worse you know? I'm really thinking of just leaving this alone and hoping nothing else comes of it further.

I didn't offer a partial refund for this reason but I almost wonder if EBay would look upon it favorably if she did open a case that I offered and she declined.
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I have not had to address an unfavourable negative feedback (long may that continue), however, I do not believe it is unreasonable for you to leave a comment about it is currently being addressed with the aim for a satisfactory resolution.

I have seen curt counter feedback such as "Partial refund offered and was declined", which I personally do not believe is unreasonable as a seller.

DK :))
 
YadaYadaYada said:
See here's the thing, she might not open a claim (all that has happened so far is she left positive feedback with a negative comment) so then if she wanted to return wouldn't she have said that she would rather a full on return and refund than declining a partial? Also I'm aware that she could open a claim and possibly not only get her money back but also keep the item but then wouldn't she have done that from the beginning? None of this makes any sense to me.

I'm going to leave it alone, I have offered to rectify and she declined, if I keep it up she might consider it harassment. It does not seem I'm dealing with a reasonable person.
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I don't sell on eBay, but what? Person gets a full refund and keeps the item? How is that an ok resolution?

The only time I could think of that is if somebody sold something that was blatantly fake, like a designer purse knock off. it is technically illegal and so I can understand why they wouldn't get the item back. But if it's just a mistake in the listing and it's a genuine metal and genuine stone, why would she get to keep it?
 
@elizat, it can happen, EBay is very favorable towards buyers. Also I have read if you do not accept returns a buyer can be refunded and keep the item because EBay will interpret "no returns" as not wanting the item back. I have no idea how true this is, I've sold multiple pieces of jewelry and never had an issue.

The item I sold is genuine, gold and diamonds but I listed it as vintage and she claims it is not vintage but a more modern replica of an Art Deco style. She said that an authentic art deco piece would have more weight to it. I did not list a weight in the description for the gold. In her message she basically said that the main diamond is the size I claimed but the diamonds are "small small small". They are one point diamonds in the setting so I'm not sure what she expected for size?

If she does end up opening a case I will refund her. I was just trying to make this a positive experience for her but she is not making that possible.
 
She wanted an emotional payoff, as in profuse apologies to assuage what sounds like buyer's remorse by nitpicking etc.. You thwarted that with practicality, which was the appropriate response. The situation isn't logical in any sense/case.
I would leave it as is, if she opens a claim you have already done more than what was required.
 
It’d be kinda funny if you saw it pop up on someone’s Instagram account and it’s described just as you did in the listing.
 
YadaYadaYada said:
@Starfacet, see that is totally reasonable and makes sense. I swear that she is just one of those people that has to spread her misery around!
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Agree. Are are all your offers to her on record through Messages? If so, that's good as I think that eBay will take these into consideration if she opens up a case.
 
I’m not clear if there was an error in your listing. It sounds like you believe it to be vintage and she does not. It’s hard to prove either way, hardly anything comes with provenance. I agree with the others to leave it alone. You made a good offer and if she wants to take you up on it she can reach out to you, but it sounds like she is someone who often finds things to gripe about.
 
You offered a partial refund which is great but perhaps she was looking for you to apologize and offer a full return? If an item was not as described I would expect the seller to offer a full return even if it was a no return item. Not sure if that is what is upsetting her.
 
@Starfacet, yes all correspondence through EBay messages, that's the only way I communicate with buyers.

@kgizo, where I get hung up is I had a jeweler look at it but this was not someone I usually work with, normally it's an appraiser but they were closed due to COVID. They said it was vintage and it looked vintage but she's says no. I know the term gets missused quite a bit. In any case I'll worry about it if I need to but otherwise I'll just leave it be.

@LisaRN, that's a good point and not something I thought of. I'm very direct and figured if she wanted to return she would just say so but not everyone is that way. I'd say I'll try that next time but I think I'm going to take a break from EBay for a while!
 
Btw I just want to thank everyone for sharing their thoughts and perspectives, I do really appreciate you all taking the time to weigh in on this.
 
elizat said:
I don't sell on eBay, but what? Person gets a full refund and keeps the item? How is that an ok resolution?

The only time I could think of that is if somebody sold something that was blatantly fake, like a designer purse knock off. it is technically illegal and so I can understand why they wouldn't get the item back. But if it's just a mistake in the listing and it's a genuine metal and genuine stone, why would she get to keep it?
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It depends on the exact listing error. If it was a piece of jewelry was it 10K instead of 18k? Was the size of the stone smaller than described? Instead of a natural opal was it a doublet? I\Silverplate when described as sterling? If I received something that was significantly different than described I would complain. Depending on the error I would return or expect a refund.
 
@YadaYadaYada , you did nothing wrong. You called it vintage, she says it isnt. It's all just opinion, and she is just being difficult.
People use Art Deco, Victorian, Edwardian, Antique, Mid Century, etc to describe jewelry on Ebay all the time.
Naming a jewelry style is really just opinion unless there is a manufacturers mark that can be researched. If it just says '14k', then no one can say 100% how old a ring is.

With old jewelry, you have to look at the photos and decide for yourself.
Also, If she was worried about the weight, she should've asked you to weigh it.
 
@stracci2000, thanks for the reassurance, I felt bad she wasn't happy but after some correspondence it doesn't look like happy is in the cards.

Everything else was as described, gold purity, size of diamonds etc. I think she probably likes the piece enough that she doesn't want to return it. Just a guess.
 
Don’t worry, some people are just strange.
All the messages between you and her can be seen by eBay if she choses to make a claim so it will be obvious that you were happy to make amends but the buyer declined.
Ages ago I had a claim opened on me for a gold with pink CZ anklet chain. The buyer was accusing me of ripping him off and sending him a cheap silver metal bracelet. I was totally confused, I knew what I’d sent and it certainly wasn’t a cheap metal bracelet. He posted up on the dispute a photo of the bracelet I had sent him. What?? Next thing I know, the case is just closed. Not another peep. I then looked at his purchase history. Yep, many weeks earlier the account had bought a 99c bracelet from China. eBay thankfully realised that he had got his wires crossed and the bracelet he received, he had bought, but not from me!
 
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