Triggers, what are yours?

[fisherofmengirly]

I find it so interesting how different people are. Some things people say don''t bother me, but can bother others. Some things that bother me don''t seem to bother anyone else.

Got me to thinking, what are your triggers, or hot spots when it comes to conversations?

My most recent is comments made by my best friend''s husband that just *floored* me with regard to where he thinks women are in comparison to men. He seems to think that if there are "problems at home," it lies primarily in the arms of the woman/mother and that the woman/mother would need to quit her job if it were of an extreme importance (took a lot of time from the family). While this may be true, I find it funny that he''d not say the same about a male/father in the same situation with "problems at home."

Kind of seems like my ultra women''s liberation friend got mis-matched in that area, somehow. Maybe that''s part of it, too: I know a lot of people who think a woman''s place is at home, and well, if it works for them and their family, okay, but don''t press that upon me or anyone else. It''s just weird to think of my best friend''s husband saying something like that. Makes me wonder if she knows he said it.

Ooh, to be a fly on the wall at their house tonight!!

****
Another trigger for me... parents who yell and scream and bark commands and insults to their children. Not like, "Hey!! Don''t run in the road," or "Woah!" to get them to stop from being harmed, more like the comments like, "What are you, stupid?" and the lack of interaction and more of just a constant tirade of what they''re doing wrong, what they better do next, etc. Direction doesn''t have to be harsh!

 

[joelly]

Agree with you that the problems at home can be both men and women''s problem. Also, I have problem with parents who insults their kids just to give them a simple directions.

What triggers me the most is comments that ppl make about my family as I think that nobody should judge my family and if they do they better keep it to themselves.

 

[packrat]

Hm..I think I''m easy to irritate, unfortunately. One of my coworkers has a way of making everything that happens about her. I understand talking about how things make you feel or how you relate to them when they happen to someone else..but if someone asks "Hey, how''s it going" and they don''t really know you that well, like a customer...you seriously don''t need to spend 15 minutes expounding on the latest disaster in your life, or in a coworkers life. The person who asked, just wanted to hear "Oh you know, can''t complain, how about you?"

Discussions about religion, or anything involving someone who expects you to listen and take what they say into consideration, but then completely disregards anything you say when it doesn''t fit their line of thinking.

 

[D&T]

Date: 7/4/2009 4:49:04 PM
Author: packrat
or anything involving someone who expects you to listen and take what they say into consideration, but then completely disregards anything you say when it doesn''t fit their line of thinking.

I totally agree! this drives me bonkers too

 

[upgrade]

The topics of daycare and divorce get me going. I try to avoid them as my views don''t mesh with those of a lot of other people and I try to remember that my strong views are based on my childhood experience. Different experiences breed differnt points of view...

 

[DivaDiamond007]

I don''t really like talking about politics. I have strong opinions, like many, but I don''t have a thick skin and feel attacked with how angry some people get when talking about their "causes".

I also do not like talking/hearing about child or animal abuse/neglect. It breaks my heart so much and I wish I could save them all but obviously I cannot.

 

[lyra]

Most of the "isms" get me going. Sexism, racism, classism (I make up my own isms too), chauvinism, those are big ones. Misogyny gets my goat, as does bigotry. Don''t even get me started on views about sexual orientation. Basically I''m a verbal explosion just waiting to happen on some days....

 

[somethingshiny]

Wow. I can talk about anything without getting really upset. I mean obviously I don''t like to talk about child abuse, rape, etc, nobody does. But, I can have a calm conversation with someone as long as they are not a perpetrator themselves, ya know?

I can talk about religion with anyone as well as marriage, sex, kids. I don''t mind talking politics but I don''t feel I know enough to be a good conversationalist on the subject.

The thing that gets me the most is when a woman/man starts telling me about cheating on her/his spouse. I don''t get upset, but I definitely throw in my opinion. And when I found out that a friend of a friend is SOO upset because she''s in love with a married man, I just laugh.

 

[packrat]

A lot of it I think depends on who you''re talking to. Their personality and such. I''m pretty laid back and open minded about stuff and I''ll listen to anyone''s point of view. I might not agree w/it, but I''ll listen-you never know when someone could have a valid point to take into consideration. Unfortunately, there are people in the camp of "You just have to deal with it b/c this is how I am and this is what I think and feel" which is a division of the camp of "However, this is not reciprocal, and while I feel you should think deeply of these words of wisdom I have given you-I could give a rats ass what your thoughts are"

That kind of mentality irks me-I''m all about consideration.

 

[lyra]

Maybe I misunderstood the question. I don''t go off on anybody usually. I just listed the topics that might be a trigger. Depends on the other person. I ignore plain old stuipidity outright.

 

[atroop711]

I have a few triggers...

RACISM being a huge trigger for me..OMG I cannot stomach ignorance.

HOMOPHOBIA...UGH..can't stand when ppl must judge others

Can't stand when someone tries to make fun of me. I was made fun of as a kid and never liked it. It hurt my feelings and always bothered me. I don't do it to others and don't like it done to me.

INFIDELITY...don't get me started on this one

Prejudice...again...don't like ignorance

Greed is another just makes me roll my eyes

Religious fanatics (won't say anymore)

I do TRY to keep my mouth shut but at times you just can't

 

[atroop711]

Date: 7/4/2009 4:49:04 PM
Author: packrat
Hm..I think I''m easy to irritate, unfortunately. One of my coworkers has a way of making everything that happens about her. I understand talking about how things make you feel or how you relate to them when they happen to someone else..but if someone asks ''Hey, how''s it going'' and they don''t really know you that well, like a customer...you seriously don''t need to spend 15 minutes expounding on the latest disaster in your life, or in a coworkers life. The person who asked, just wanted to hear ''Oh you know, can''t complain, how about you?''


Discussions about religion, or anything involving someone who expects you to listen and take what they say into consideration, but then completely disregards anything you say when it doesn''t fit their line of thinking.

packrat I''m easily irritated too. I think it has to do with all of the crap thrown my way throughout my life...If you irritate me I will most likely shut down, take a deep breath and not speak. If do say anything it won''t be kind. I don''t like to go there so I just usually hold it in.

 

[packrat]

Date: 7/6/2009 10:59:44 AM
Author: atroop711

Date: 7/4/2009 4:49:04 PM

Author: packrat

Hm..I think I''m easy to irritate, unfortunately. One of my coworkers has a way of making everything that happens about her. I understand talking about how things make you feel or how you relate to them when they happen to someone else..but if someone asks ''Hey, how''s it going'' and they don''t really know you that well, like a customer...you seriously don''t need to spend 15 minutes expounding on the latest disaster in your life, or in a coworkers life. The person who asked, just wanted to hear ''Oh you know, can''t complain, how about you?''



Discussions about religion, or anything involving someone who expects you to listen and take what they say into consideration, but then completely disregards anything you say when it doesn''t fit their line of thinking.

packrat I''m easily irritated too. I think it has to do with all of the crap thrown my way throughout my life...If you irritate me I will most likely shut down, take a deep breath and not speak. If do say anything it won''t be kind. I don''t like to go there so I just usually hold it in.

haha I''m like that too! Sometimes it''s best to just shush up and not say anything b/c what might get said prolly won''t go over well.

 

[Haven]

I find it difficult to talk with people who think they have nothing left to learn.

 

[princesss]

I find it very difficult to be around people that throw around the word "gay" as a way of putting something down, or us the f-word (the one that relates to gay people). Homophobia in general frustrates me, enough so that I've stopped spending time with people over them using those words. I've only lost my cool once (when somebody used the f-word about one of my friends). But I have to count to 10 to be sure I don't snap at somebody. I think language is a wonderful thing, and I love how it changes, but I also hate how it can be used as a weapon. And worse, I hate that people use the words without thinking, because it reinforces the idea that being gay is something negative, and the people doing it have no idea how they're contributing to this.

Other than that, there isn't really much that consistantly upsets me. Well, other than BF's sister, but that's a totally different story...

 

[elrohwen]

I get frustrated by people who constantly have something to complain about in restaurants. If something is screwed up, just send it back nicely or whatever, don''t make a big scene. And if you go out to eat a few times and something is always wrong, it makes you look bad, not the restaurant. Gah. Especially when these people decide to give poor tips for their silly little thing and then complain about it the rest of the night to the waitress and the people they''re eating with. Get over it.

I don''t really get triggered by politics, religion, etc, except with people like Packrat mentioned, who want to tell you their point of view, but don''t really care what you have to say. Or who run out of things to say and just start insulting your side of the arguement (seems to happen in politics more than anything else). Like, if we''re discussing the state of national finances, there''s no need to put down my presidential candidate with a bad joke about how stupid/awkward/snobby/etc he is.

 

[purrfectpear]

If a trigger is something that you let get to you, then I guess I don''t really have any? I don''t really let anyone''s opinion get to me since we all have one, and mine is much more important to me than anyone else''s.

There are quite a few view points that might cause me to lose respect for someone, but none that would cause me to give the energy to it to actually get angry. It''s easier to just walk away and ignore people I''ve no interest in.

Religious bigots, conspiracy nutcases, abusers, chauvinists, etc. just get a

from me. They have nothing to contribute to my life. There''s no shortage of idiots out there. Why bother to acknowledge them

 

[iwannaprettyone]

People who talk in circles and never get to the point.

Those that speak in terms of so called "facts" with no actual grounds or justification.

When someone makes a baseless assumption about someone (i.e stereotypes etc).

Being interrupted.

Individuals that feel the world "Owes them something"...

Folks that complain about ABC but NEVER do anything to change the situation.



And absolute DITTO on the "anything involving someone who expects you to listen and take what they say into consideration, but then completely disregards anything you say when it doesn''t fit their line of thinking." Infuriating.

Other than that I am LAAAIIIDDD Back maaan!

 

[LtlFirecracker]

I would have to agree with the people who want to share their view point, but than either shut me down or put me down when I have a differing one I want to share.

Same with sexism, racism, homophobia - basically anything that makes one group of people inferior to another.

I get annoyed with people who undercut or backstab people to advance their own agendas as well as people who have no regard for the feelings of others.