Trash the dresses

[Autumnovember]

Apparently, this is a new ''craze'' that many brides have started to do. After getting married they have a photoshoot and "trash" their dress in various ways.


I''ve seen some pics and its pretty interesting but I''m not sure how I feel about it.


Thoughts?

 

[Autumnovember]

Links to photos of examples:


http://www.lusterstudios.com/images/jennacharlie/trash-the-dress.jpg

http://designerevents.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/ttd-paint.jpg

 

[Cehrabehra]

It''s been around a few years and I like the idea - I mean... back in the olden days when having a dress made was very expensive and women were PROUD to wear a dress their mothers and grandmothers had worn, it made sense to preserve it. Now women are TOO proud to wear these dresses and their importance has become miniscule. The best they can hope for in years to come is to be taken out to be looked at occasionally as they continue to take up space - quite a bit for some of the big poofy dresses. Why not have a series of fun pictures taken?

If I had worn an heirloom gown, I would not do this. I would have loved to worn my mother''s dress but when I got married we couldn''t find it and when we had our renewal it was way too small

My mom got married in a lace over sheath mini dress in 1968. I think it''s cool!

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

I love the idea!

I mean, it''s a chance to get to wear your wedding dress twice, right?

Seriously, my dress was pretty trashed after my wedding anyway so i cant sell it and it i can really wear it anywhere except to something like a TTD shoot.

I have thought about doing one for our first anni and then having my dress cut off to tea length so i can wear it again.

 

[Autumnovember]

Definitely see what you mean, but my dress would mean too much to me

 

[Natylad]

Date: 6/19/2010 12:43:15 AM
Author: Autumnovember
Definitely see what you mean, but my dress would mean too much to me

I had two wedding gowns which i both bought. I''ve worn the first one at my wedding ceremony on the 26th of May and the second at my wedding reception on the 28th of May. Those are the gowns in which i got married to my husband and which were worn in the most moving, important and happy days of my life. After everything was over, i took them to the dry cleaner''s and when they came back, i folded them individually and covered them all around in two 100% cotton sheets, which i sewed all around to prevent the dust, etc going in. I''ve also put my veil and long scarf in a pillow case and repeated the procedure. After all that i placed all three packages in a huge - cotton fabric made - case with a zipper, zipped them up and put them in a closet at my mother''s place (she has extra space). I think you''re getting my point...
I don''t have a problem with people who choose to do differently (to each their own...). But i feel love and respect for those gowns and i believe that if we have a daughter, she will be very pleased to find her mother''s wedding gowns, even as just a memory from a very moving time that she couldn''t be around to share with us coz she wasn''t born yet...When i was planning my own wedding, i asked my mother and MIL whether they had kept anything, and i mean ANYTHING AT ALL, from their bridal outfit, which i could use as a sentimental touch when i''d dress up as a bride...Nothing...not a tiny little thing...I was very disappointed...
I could never...trash my wedding gown...
Plus, my husband who shares my views on this, told me that on our five year anniversairy he will throw a huge party to celebrate the occasion and he wants me to make my big entrance and first dance wearing one of my wedding gowns...just for old times sake...

Now i only have two concerns: 1. I hope that i can still fit in it after 5 years (well, even though i''ve been maintaining my weight in low levels for my entire life!

), 2. I also hope that by that time he realizes that besides the sentimental entrance in the old wedding gown, i''d also like an AVC from GOG as an anniversairy gift and buys it for me

 

[Lady_Disdain]

Here, it is much more common to rent a wedding gown than to buy (first rentals if you have more money and fitted to your body), so this discussion is rather odd to me. I really don''t understand the appeal of spending a lot of money on a dress and then just have it sitting in a box somewhere.

So, my first choice would be a first rental from a great designer. If I had to buy a dress, I would make sure it could either be reused, trashed or used somehow - no sitting in the closet for me.

 

[MissMina]

Another point of view is that you are getting married for the last time and therefore will have no further need for the dress. Trashing it is symbolic of the bride''s commitment to the marriage.

I really hate to see an expensive gown ruined when it could be given to charity and used again. But some brides buy an inexpensive dress just for the TTD shoot. I think that is a
great idea.

 

[HVVS]

Sorry, but it seems wasteful to me. As a bride, I made my own gown, and used $50/yard Alencon lace and hand-beaded and made hand-made rosebuds for the lace, hand-made fabric roses for the back, etc. There is no was I''d trash that dress, even though the marriage didn''t work out. I might take that lace and reuse it, or re-dye it and make some evening dress out of it.

If I were a parent, and I''m not: If I''d bought some kid a $1000 dress, I''d be furious, let alone a more expensive gown. I probably would not speak to that girl for 5 or 6 years if she''d wasted $thousands of my hard-earned money like that. If she buys it with her own salary, fine; I would have no say.

 

[gemgirl]

I''ve noticed the trend but I wouldn''t be able to do that to mine. I guess I''m too sentimental

.

 

[marcy]

We''ll be celebrating our 19th anniversary next week. I love knowing I still have my wedding dress tucked away safely in a closet.

 

[y2kitty]

Date: 6/19/2010 8:08:13 AM
Author: HVVS
Sorry, but it seems wasteful to me. As a bride, I made my own gown, and used $50/yard Alencon lace and hand-beaded and made hand-made rosebuds for the lace, hand-made fabric roses for the back, etc. There is no was I''d trash that dress, even though the marriage didn''t work out. I might take that lace and reuse it, or re-dye it and make some evening dress out of it.

I agree with HVVS, to me it seems wasteful.

 

[joflier]

I would totally buy a 2nd dress to do something like that! I think it''s a cool idea, but I would never do it with my real gown.

 

[ksinger]

Date: 6/19/2010 10:40:49 AM
Author: y2kitty

Date: 6/19/2010 8:08:13 AM
Author: HVVS
Sorry, but it seems wasteful to me. As a bride, I made my own gown, and used $50/yard Alencon lace and hand-beaded and made hand-made rosebuds for the lace, hand-made fabric roses for the back, etc. There is no was I''d trash that dress, even though the marriage didn''t work out. I might take that lace and reuse it, or re-dye it and make some evening dress out of it.

I agree with HVVS, to me it seems wasteful.

Yes it is wasteful. And to me, shows a lack of understanding and appreciation for a)what you have, and b)the work involved in a well-made wedding dress, and hand work of any kind for that matter. It''s just another manifestation of a throw-away culture that no longer produces anything. My mother was a sempstress of surpassing skill and made my wedding gown (wedding #1) and while I MIGHT be inclined to give it to someone, I would no more trash it than I would any work that took skill, patience and pride to produce, even if it was produced by an underpaid Chinese woman. Skill is skill. Bottom line, you can only do that to a thing, if you yourself don''t MAKE THINGS, or have never spent intensive time around someone who does.

 

[MonkeyPie]

I did this. My dress was pretty basic and inexpensive, so I was able to do it without feeling like I was wasting money. Plus, unless you use paint or excessive mud, a trip the dry cleaners will make it look good as new no problem.

I''ve also photographed one of my friends trashing her dress, too. Give me a minute and I''ll post a photo of my TTD session as well as hers.

 

[MonkeyPie]

I don''t think it is wasteful, because it not YOUR money or YOUR dress, it''s THEIRS. Anyone can do whatever they want with their dress regardless of your opinion.

This is her, laying in a local creek.

 

[MonkeyPie]

And this is me.

 

[MissGotRocks]

I totally disagree with the whole concept. I find it to be very disrespectful to say the least. However, every bride''s dress is her own to do with as she pleases.

I had my dress packed away. When my daughter became engaged, I knew that she wanted her own dress in her own style. We still had fun finally unpacking my dress after all those years and having her try it on. It was fun, brought back lots of memories, and left me in awe of the fact that I now had a grown daughter old enough to wear a wedding dress!

After her wedding, she wanted to pack hers away too. She might not ever have a daughter but she will have that beautiful dress to remind her of her happiness on her wedding day. Thank goodness she wouldn''t have dreamed of destroying it!

There are lots of young women who would love to have a beautiful wedding gown that just simply can''t afford one. If you really don''t want to keep it, at least donate it to someone less fortunate than yourself. Ksinger is right - we are too much of a throw away society now. I just think that some things should be more sacred and meaningful to us than they are.

 

[Tuckins1]

I actually could never do it. I adore my dress, and it means too much to me to ruin it. I don''t care if it never gets taken out of the closet again! There it will stay until I die, or until a daughter or grand daughter wants to wear it.

 

[joflier]

MP - those are cool shots!!!

I don't quite get how doing something a little crazy with your dress is disrespectful. It's a piece of cloth, afterall. The day is about the people, the love, and the memories.

 

[waterlilly]

I have no attachment to my wedding dress - as a matter of fact, it''s sitting in a box in my basement along with a bunch of other clothes I''ll probably be giving away if I don''t wear in the next year. Of course, I didn''t spend any more on it than I would any other dress for a formal event, so I have no angst about how it''s being treated now that the wedding is over. I could have spent 10k on my dress and the ceremony would have been no different, the guests wouldn''t remember my wedding differently, and my marriage wouldn''t be any more or less successful than it is now - although we''d be out 10k!

I see great irony in the statements about a trash the dress "event" being wasteful - in my opinion, the only thing wasteful is the amount of money that people will spend on the dress in the first place!

Weddings have turned into such a silly racket - and the dresses are one of the biggest rackets going in my opinion. People have been brainwashed into thinking a wedding dress is some sort of magical item that is going to have some big important significance for the rest of your life.

It''s an article of clothing that you will never have a reason to wear again. So what you wore it on your wedding day!! Are you going to keep the hospital gown you wear when giving birth to your child and pay someone to press it and put it in a box? What about the outfit you are wearing on the day someone precious to you passes away? Are these events not as significant or even more so than your wedding ceremony?

I love seeing trash the dress photo shoots, to me it''s a big FU to the crooked wedding industry. These women have been able to free themselves from the idea that the wedding dress is more than just a dress!

 

[MonkeyPie]

Date: 6/19/2010 1:22:46 PM
Author: waterlilly
Weddings have turned into such a silly racket - and the dresses are one of the biggest rackets going in my opinion. People have been brainwashed into thinking a wedding dress is some sort of magical item that is going to have some big important significance for the rest of your life.

I both agree and disagree with that. Yes, the dress is important - it''s the day in your life where you look and feel the most beautiful, and most happy - but that''s all it is. A dress. You will never wear it again, any future daughters likely won''t either, and it takes up space in a closet. I still have mine, but I got it cleaned after my TTD session so it looks brand new. Maybe someday I will donate it, but I am considering other things I can do, like make a baptismal dress for any daughter I may have out of it

 

[Circe]

I see the whole phenomenon as an attempt to subvert the persona of the "bride" - you''re not a prudish, goody-goody, virginal milksop just because you''re wearing white! You''re bad.

I also always saw this as being kind of silly and a copout - I mean, you chose to wear the white dress, own its symbolism, whatever that might be. And yes, it is wasteful if it ruins the dress completely (though, one does have to wonder how one can totally ruin a dress in the age of dry-cleaning, short of swimming in a wineries vats).

That said, given how many people in this thread appear to take the concept almost personally ... I guess it is successful in being subversive. Or, at least shocking ....

 

[waterlilly]

Date: 6/19/2010 2:05:57 PM
Author: Circe
I see the whole phenomenon as an attempt to subvert the persona of the ''bride'' - you''re not a prudish, goody-goody, virginal milksop just because you''re wearing white! You''re bad.


I also always saw this as being kind of silly and a copout - I mean, you chose to wear the white dress, own its symbolism, whatever that might be. And yes, it is wasteful if it ruins the dress completely (though, one does have to wonder how one can totally ruin a dress in the age of dry-cleaning, short of swimming in a wineries vats).


That said, given how many people in this thread appear to take the concept almost personally ... I guess it is successful in being subversive. Or, at least shocking ....

I don''t see it as subverting the persona of the bride at all, rather the "institution of the dress"

. Not everyone wears a white wedding dress and I think the virginal milksop image is far behind us, thankfully. I see it as art. Aesthetic contrast to the max, if you will. The women look just as beautiful sitting in a mud puddle as they would standing in a field of flowers. Your mind doesn''t expect to see the two connected...

 

[waterlilly]

Not sure I'd risk my life doing it though!

How could anyone find this photo to be disrespectful?

 

[lyra]

I hate this idea, therefore I''m pretty much guaranteed that this is exactly what my youngest daughter will do...or worse.

 

[somethingshiny]

My dress was made by my aunt and only cost about $150 for material. I have no sentimental attachment to my dress. I don''t expect my daughter to wear it. I wouldn''t "trash it" though. For me, a better use would be using it to line baby blankets or something. In fact, a few weeks ago our basement flooded with sewer water. I''m trying to salvage the top part of the dress to make into something else.

Personally, I don''t "get" spending a ton of money on the dress. I know brides think "The most beautiful day of my life," but for me it hasn''t been true. In fact, I don''t know one woman who STILL feels like she was at her most beautiful on her wedding day. I felt far more beautiful while holding my newborn at the hospital, during my maternity photo shoot with a friend recently, and when I''ve dressed to go to other people''s events.

However, I can appreciate the unusual photos that women get from their TTD shoots. LTP had some gorgeous photos from hers.

 

[yssie]

I'm wearing my FMIL's white dress for the Jewish ceremony in the evening. It's covered in pearls and lace, and I love it

so - no, no way!




But getting a second (ruinable) dress for some interesting pictures with one's new husband is a great idea, though then it's not a "trash the dress"..

 

[joflier]

Date: 6/19/2010 3:43:11 PM
Author: yssie
I''m wearing my FMIL''s white dress for the Jewish ceremony in the evening. It''s covered in pearls and lace, and I love it

so - no, no way!




But getting a second (ruinable) dress for some interesting pictures with one''s new husband is a great idea, though then it''s not a ''trash the dress''..

Now see, that - I can understand. No good trashing an heirloom!

Well, it''s still kinda trash-the-dress........more like - trash-a-dress. It''s all about the fun, anyhow!

 

[iheartscience]

It doesn''t bother me but I also wouldn''t do it to my dress-I love it way too much. I wouldn''t cut it up for baby blankets/christening gowns, either. Plus I don''t particularly like getting my picture taken so I wouldn''t do a TTD session with another dress, either.

I don''t see how it''s disrespectful or offensive, though. It''s just an "edgy" bridal portrait and yet another way to wear a dress. I could argue that it''s *less* wasteful than just wearing your dress once on your wedding day and then putting it away forever.