Trash the dresses

[TravelingGal]

Date: 6/19/2010 4:25:17 PM
Author: thing2of2
It doesn''t bother me but I also wouldn''t do it to my dress-I love it way too much. I wouldn''t cut it up for baby blankets/christening gowns, either. Plus I don''t particularly like getting my picture taken so I wouldn''t do a TTD session with another dress, either.

I don''t see how it''s disrespectful or offensive, though. It''s just an ''edgy'' bridal portrait and yet another way to wear a dress. I could argue that it''s *less* wasteful than just wearing your dress once on your wedding day and then putting it away forever.

Agree. My dress got trashed on my wedding day, and it''s crumpled up somewhere otherwise I might have done something like this. Except I hate taking photos so maybe not. And I think it''s looks cooler with a full on wedding dress/veil, and mine wasn''t really anything special to begin with...wasn''t even a real wedding dress.

I think if my mom had a wedding dress, I would be way more enamored and sentimental about amazing photos of her in the dress than the dress itself, which while nice, I probably wouldn''t wear or do anything with than leave in the box. My mom won''t be around forever and I just wish there were more photos of her, smiling, happy, and frozen in a time before I knew her.

 

[lulu]

Silly and self indulgent. There''s a lot of that going around.

 

[Maria D]

I would never have done this with my wedding dress. It wasn''t particularly expensive, but only because I chose polyester satin for the fabric and the local seamstress who custom made it to fit me perfectly should have charged more than she did. The re-embroidered alencon lace and the craftsmanship were exquisite. My fondest memory of the dress isn''t even wearing it on my wedding day, but of staying up half the night two days before the wedding and hand-sewing tiny beads on the lace one by one with my mother. When I got back from our honeymoon, my mom had the dress all boxed up and told me that a couple of the beads had fallen off but not to worry because she had sewn new ones back on. Kind of funny, because of course the dress was never going to be worn again!

If I had worn a mass-produced dress I still wouldn''t be into the trash-the-dress photos. I don''t mean to offend anyone who has done the photo shoots and loves the results, but I really don''t get it. They are just so contrived to me. It''s not like anyone actually did frolic in the ocean or have a romantic moment rolling around in the sand with their new husband as part of their wedding day. And those are the shots that are at least somewhat "romantic." I''ve seen others that are actually kind of creepy, with the brides completely underwater looking like they''re drowning.

 

[MonkeyPie]

You mean creepy like this? (Yup, that''s me. In my car trunk.)

 

[MonkeyPie]

Or maybe creepy like this? (Photographer called this one "speed bump.")

This was just for fun and being totally silly. By this point I was soaked, that dress was as heavy as a second person, and I was exhausted. When I flopped on the driveway this shot was born.

 

[joflier]

Date: 6/19/2010 11:09:26 PM
Author: MonkeyPie
Or maybe creepy like this? (Photographer called this one ''speed bump.'')

This was just for fun and being totally silly. By this point I was soaked, that dress was as heavy as a second person, and I was exhausted. When I flopped on the driveway this shot was born.

I''m just totally cracking up right now.

I''m picturing the speed bump photo on a hallmark wedding card. You know, the ones that start out, "Marriage is a journey.....and there will always be a few ''bumps'' along the way...........

 

[ksinger]

Date: 6/20/2010 9:59:08 AM
Author: joflier

Date: 6/19/2010 11:09:26 PM
Author: MonkeyPie
Or maybe creepy like this? (Photographer called this one ''speed bump.'')

This was just for fun and being totally silly. By this point I was soaked, that dress was as heavy as a second person, and I was exhausted. When I flopped on the driveway this shot was born.

I''m just totally cracking up right now.

I''m picturing the speed bump photo on a hallmark wedding card. You know, the ones that start out, ''Marriage is a journey.....and there will always be a few ''bumps'' along the way...........

That''s just twisted. WRONG on so many levels.

D***......wish I''d thought of it first....

 

[Callisto]

I think it''s a bit wasteful unless the dress was really inexpensive. I''d much prefer to donate my dress to Brides Against Breast Cancer or something like that for a good cause.

 

[luckynumber]

i''m with callisto.

i may even rent my wedding dress, but if it''s bought, then i''m definitely donating it.

 

[CNOS128]

This doesn''t appeal to me, but some of the photos I''ve seen have been amazing (someone did some swimming underwater? those were fabulous and graceful). On the other hand, some I''ve seen have been really disgusting and not tastefully done at all (and I''m NOT talking about the ones you''ve shown, MonkeyPie - I think yours are rather intriguing).

I think it''s more wasteful to buy a separate, second dress and trash it, rather than using your original dress. Then you''re buying a big piece of clothing just to ruin it and throw it away. Dead clothing fills up landfills, too.

 

[Natylad]

Date: 6/19/2010 8:57:09 AM
Author: marcyc
We''ll be celebrating our 19th anniversary next week. I love knowing I still have my wedding dress tucked away safely in a closet.

 

[Natylad]

Date: 6/19/2010 4:06:30 PM
Author: joflier

Date: 6/19/2010 3:43:11 PM
Author: yssie
I''m wearing my FMIL''s white dress for the Jewish ceremony in the evening. It''s covered in pearls and lace, and I love it

so - no, no way!




But getting a second (ruinable) dress for some interesting pictures with one''s new husband is a great idea, though then it''s not a ''trash the dress''..

Now see, that - I can understand. No good trashing an heirloom!

Well, it''s still kinda trash-the-dress........more like - trash-a-dress. It''s all about the fun, anyhow!

Precious heirlooms - like the one that yssie will be wearing at the jewish ceremony of her wedding - exist because people chose not to trash their wedding gowns and kept them with care and respect for the next generation...So if Yssie''s MIL had been jumping into mud and cutting off her gown, there would be no...heirloom to be given to her DIL...And for some reason, i''m under the impression that the prospect of Yssie wearing that gown at her ceremony has made both her and her MIL very very happy...

 

[joflier]

Date: 6/20/2010 12:00:03 PM
Author: NatyLad

Date: 6/19/2010 4:06:30 PM
Author: joflier

Date: 6/19/2010 3:43:11 PM
Author: yssie
I''m wearing my FMIL''s white dress for the Jewish ceremony in the evening. It''s covered in pearls and lace, and I love it

so - no, no way!




But getting a second (ruinable) dress for some interesting pictures with one''s new husband is a great idea, though then it''s not a ''trash the dress''..

Now see, that - I can understand. No good trashing an heirloom!

Well, it''s still kinda trash-the-dress........more like - trash-a-dress. It''s all about the fun, anyhow!

Precious heirlooms - like the one that yssie will be wearing at the jewish ceremony of her wedding - exist because people chose not to trash their wedding gowns and kept them with care and respect for the next generation...So if Yssie''s MIL had been jumping into mud and cutting off her gown, there would be no...heirloom to be given to her DIL...And for some reason, i''m under the impression that the prospect of Yssie wearing that gown at her ceremony has made both her and her MIL very very happy...

That''s cool - to each their own. But I also know that for me, there''s no way in he** that I''d be wearing my mother or mil''s dress.
Actually, my mom saved hers, and when she finally did pull it out of the closet, it was yellowed and brittle. So, she would have been more than welcome to get some cool photos out of it, because it got ''trashed'' just sitting in a dust bag in a closet.

 

[MonkeyPie]

Date: 6/20/2010 9:59:08 AM
Author: joflier

Date: 6/19/2010 11:09:26 PM

Author: MonkeyPie

Or maybe creepy like this? (Photographer called this one ''speed bump.'')
This was just for fun and being totally silly. By this point I was soaked, that dress was as heavy as a second person, and I was exhausted. When I flopped on the driveway this shot was born.

I''m just totally cracking up right now.

I''m picturing the speed bump photo on a hallmark wedding card. You know, the ones that start out, ''Marriage is a journey.....and there will always be a few ''bumps'' along the way...........

Hahaha I love that! I wish I had thought of that for cards or something

I like to think I have more of a sense of humor than some people.

 

[4ever]

I look at really good, beautiful trash the dress photos as what they are to me, which is art. There are just some amazing, breath taking photos coming out of some of these shoots, and from an artistic point of view I really appriciate that.

But then, I don''t relate to people needing to keep their wedding gown forever. My mum still has hers, it is very yellow and still hanging in her wardrobe. Even when I was alot younger I felt that was a silly and useless thing to keep, although I do understand the emotional attachment. You can''t take it with you when you go, so if you can''t wear it and enjoy it again, why not let some one else?

I would personally not do a trash the dress shoot because I don''t enjoy being photographed and feel it''s just another unessesary wedding expence. However, I intend to have a cocktail style dress made for my wedding so I can easily wear it to other events and enjoy it long after the wedding.

 

[yssie]

Date: 6/20/2010 1:18:44 PM
Author: joflier

Date: 6/20/2010 12:00:03 PM
Author: NatyLad

Date: 6/19/2010 4:06:30 PM
Author: joflier

Date: 6/19/2010 3:43:11 PM
Author: yssie
I'm wearing my FMIL's white dress for the Jewish ceremony in the evening. It's covered in pearls and lace, and I love it

so - no, no way!




But getting a second (ruinable) dress for some interesting pictures with one's new husband is a great idea, though then it's not a 'trash the dress'..

Now see, that - I can understand. No good trashing an heirloom!

Well, it's still kinda trash-the-dress........more like - trash-a-dress. It's all about the fun, anyhow!

Precious heirlooms - like the one that yssie will be wearing at the jewish ceremony of her wedding - exist because people chose not to trash their wedding gowns and kept them with care and respect for the next generation...So if Yssie's MIL had been jumping into mud and cutting off her gown, there would be no...heirloom to be given to her DIL...And for some reason, i'm under the impression that the prospect of Yssie wearing that gown at her ceremony has made both her and her MIL very very happy...

That's cool - to each their own. But I also know that for me, there's no way in he** that I'd be wearing my mother or mil's dress.
Actually, my mom saved hers, and when she finally did pull it out of the closet, it was yellowed and brittle. So, she would have been more than welcome to get some cool photos out of it, because it got 'trashed' just sitting in a dust bag in a closet.

To each his own, indeed. But I will say that I very much appreciated the sentiment of being given the option of wearing her dress, if I wanted, and that would not have been possible had she chosen to TTD, as Naty says. And yes, everyone is thrilled

Jo - did your mother have her dress professionally preserved, or was it just stuck in a dust bag in a closet? My FMIL did have hers preserved and it's completely, totally wearable now, no yellowing or brittleness. I definitely recommend it should you choose to save your own dress - as you say, there's no point in saving a dress only to find it unwearable should that come up years later, like for me!

 

[rhbgirl24]

I did this. I absolutely loved it and wouldn't change it for the world. I have some pics of me and my new husband that are UNBELIEVABLE! and it was a very very cool way to remember our honeymoon.

Yes, I paid a lot for my dress. Yes it was trashed, but we kept the train, had it cleaned and shadowboxed. I was never going to wear the dress again, and these pics will last a lifetime or longer.

and BTW the fire pic previously posted is all cg, but looks neat anyway.

 

[LaurenThePartier]

These threads come up quite often, and I think it''s a great idea for the brides, like me, who weren''t thrilled with their wedding photos. I have only 1 photo from the day of our wedding that I love, and maybe 2 or 3 more that are ok. The rest weren''t worth what I paid, but because it was a Bellagio wedding; well, you do get what you pay for.

My husband and I went to Hawaii a year later and got the opportunity to roll around in the sand and jump in a pool together in wedding attire. I will tell you this - it was 2.5 hours of no stress, just playing around in the water and embracing my husband.

I''ll just leave this right here . . . this was an $80 dress from Jessica McClintock, not my original dress. Because of the material, this dress came out of the water in excellent shape and I''ve managed to have it cleaned to loan to a friend on a tight budget.

To me, the TTD pics/experience was priceless.

 

[RaiKai]

I am not particularly "sentimental" about my dress and so don't have any particular opinions about what someone wants to do with their own dress. My dress was not very expensive, as wedding dresses go, and it is not the "representation" of my marriage, wedding or vows in my own mind. I don't really even think of a future daughter wearing it, I imagine if I have one and she wants a wedding dress one day she would want her own dress! I have my own mothers dress, from her wedding to my father (they are divorced), and she gave it to me when I was a teenager to wear as a cool fun hippie dress (she was a flower-child bride). And I do wear it about 1-2 times a year at music festivals! I would not be choked up by any means if I did NOT have it though!

However, we opted out of doing a trash the dress session. I have seen some lovely pictures, however, to us both they are a bit artificial or contrived - I cannot explain it well in words. It just does not fit for us. However, we did not even have pro photos, so take that for what it is worth! I am not as fond of all the "okay, all the grooms men hold the bride up" kind of photos either. Of course I would like more photos of DH and I together, but not in "wedding attire" as we already had our wedding, you know, and not really "contrived"? If someone wants to follow us around on vacation and snap pics while we are not looking - cool! But I don't want to dress up in my wedding dress and jump into the waves so they can take pictures. I cannot explain it well. Others can do as they wish, it just did not fit for us.

And I will say this, though my dress IS stuffed into my closet right now, I do like that DH and I can pull our wedding attire out and wear it for a nice dinner at home on our anniversaries or something if we so choose, and as he has suggested. I can totally see us doing this and accidentally spilling wine all over it, or getting it smelling like sheesha tobacco and "trashing" it that way though!

 

[Clairitek]

I wouldn''t ever be able to trash my own dress, but I have considered getting a cheapie one from eBay or a department store to trash instead. I certainly wouldn''t ever judge someone for choosing to trash their dress.

 

[sammyj]

Date: 6/21/2010 11:16:01 AM
Author: Clairitek
I wouldn''t ever be able to trash my own dress, but I have considered getting a cheapie one from eBay or a department store to trash instead. I certainly wouldn''t ever judge someone for choosing to trash their dress.

Ditto this 10000%. Well, except for buying a cheapie dress to trash...but only because I don''t like photoshoots!

I still don''t get how a TTD session is disrespectful...to whom or what? The dressmaker? The actual dress? Pffft.

 

[iheartscience]

I think it's so interesting/amusing how offended some people in this thread are by this concept. Just because you wouldn't opt for it doesn't mean it's a horrible desecration of a precious, priceless gown a perfect stranger's possible not-yet-born future children and grandchildren might want.

I wouldn't do one myself for several reasons but if another bride wants to, good for her! Who cares? No one is being hurt in any way. Well I guess the delicate sensibilities of some posters are being hurt, but that doesn't count as actual pain or suffering.

 

[MonkeyPie]

Date: 6/21/2010 11:41:47 AM
Author: thing2of2
I think it''s so interesting/amusing how offended some people in this thread are by this concept. Just because you wouldn''t opt for it doesn''t mean it''s a horrible desecration of a precious, priceless gown a perfect stranger''s possible not-yet-born future children and grandchildren might want.

I wouldn''t do one myself for several reasons but if another bride wants to, good for her! Who cares? No one is being hurt in any way. Well I guess the delicate sensibilities of some posters are being hurt, but that doesn''t count as actual pain or suffering.

THIS. I don''t get the bad attitudes about it - if it isn''t yours, then why do you care so much? I certainly don''t care that your dress is currently gathering dust in a closet.

 

[Shoopy]

I love the TTD pictures almost as much as I love the wedding photos. They''re so intimate. It''s usually just the bride, groom, and a destination. No guests, no fancy flowers, no 3 tiered cake. Just a husband and wife being silly and having fun. I love it. Very romantic.

I''ve also always seen it as a bit symbolic. The bride spends a year (more or less) preparing for one of the biggest days/moments in her life, enduring negotiations with vendors, drama with invitees/bridesmaids/whatever else and then she just lets go of it all almost as if saying she''s ready to put the ''bride'' behind her and focus on her new life. At least that''s what I see whenever I view photos.

 

[sunnyd]

I love TTD pics. I think they''re so much more creative and interesting than the actual wedding pics even! There''s no time crunch to get back to the ceremony or reception, the "bride and groom" are likely more relaxed because they''re not thinking about everything else that happens on wedding day, etc. They''re edgy, a little sexy and just plain COOL looking!

That said, I wouldn''t do it to my own dress. Not because I treasure it too much or anything like that, and I know it will probably never be worn again. I guess I just like the idea of having it around? I would totally get a second dress to use though (a cheapie!). If I could convince DH and if it wasn''t still winter here in the PacNW I''d do it tomorrow!

 

[risingsun]

Anyone can do what they please with their wedding dresses. I would never trash mine. I had it preserved and spent the money gladly. I had my bouquet preserved, as well. My first marriage turned out to be a nightmare. My present marriage has been a blessing. I am very glad that I saved everythng that I could from our wedding. After 15 years of marriage, I treasure these keepsakes...but that''s just me

 

[joflier]

Date: 6/21/2010 2:58:51 AM
Author: yssie


To each his own, indeed. But I will say that I very much appreciated the sentiment of being given the option of wearing her dress, if I wanted, and that would not have been possible had she chosen to TTD, as Naty says. And yes, everyone is thrilled

Jo - did your mother have her dress professionally preserved, or was it just stuck in a dust bag in a closet? My FMIL did have hers preserved and it''s completely, totally wearable now, no yellowing or brittleness. I definitely recommend it should you choose to save your own dress - as you say, there''s no point in saving a dress only to find it unwearable should that come up years later, like for me!

She had it professionally done. Obviously something didn''t go right. Oh well. That''s how it rolls, sometimes. My dress is just hanging. I really should just give it to charity, being that it''s quite meaningless to me. Hey.....maybe I should trash the dress now. Better late than never.

 

[yssie]

Date: 6/21/2010 5:50:56 PM
Author: joflier
She had it professionally done. Obviously something didn't go right. Oh well. That's how it rolls, sometimes. My dress is just hanging. I really should just give it to charity, being that it's quite meaningless to me. Hey.....maybe I should trash the dress now. Better late than never.

 

[joflier]

Date: 6/21/2010 6:03:53 PM
Author: yssie

Date: 6/21/2010 5:50:56 PM
Author: joflier
She had it professionally done. Obviously something didn't go right. Oh well. That's how it rolls, sometimes. My dress is just hanging. I really should just give it to charity, being that it's quite meaningless to me. Hey.....maybe I should trash the dress now. Better late than never.

Yeah. We were wondering if somehow some moisture had gotten in it when they sealed it......who knows. But it was 40 years ago......

ETA - Lauren - that photo is just awesome!!

Might I have seen that in a magazine somewhere? I'm almost sure I've seen it before....

 

[RaiKai]

Date: 6/21/2010 5:50:56 PM
Author: joflier

Date: 6/21/2010 2:58:51 AM

Author: yssie



To each his own, indeed. But I will say that I very much appreciated the sentiment of being given the option of wearing her dress, if I wanted, and that would not have been possible had she chosen to TTD, as Naty says. And yes, everyone is thrilled

Jo - did your mother have her dress professionally preserved, or was it just stuck in a dust bag in a closet? My FMIL did have hers preserved and it''s completely, totally wearable now, no yellowing or brittleness. I definitely recommend it should you choose to save your own dress - as you say, there''s no point in saving a dress only to find it unwearable should that come up years later, like for me!

She had it professionally done. Obviously something didn''t go right. Oh well. That''s how it rolls, sometimes. My dress is just hanging. I really should just give it to charity, being that it''s quite meaningless to me. Hey.....maybe I should trash the dress now. Better late than never.

I saw an "expose" once on the "wedding gown preservation industry". Let me just say you want to really find out WHAT they are doing to preserve that gown. Some of the boxes they opened demonstrated the people had not even CLEANED the darn thing - it still had food stains on it and such from the reception!