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To those who hyphenated...

merilenda

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I have some questions! I know, I know, there have been many name change threads on PS. I'm more curious about how things worked after you make the decision about what to do.

I know quite a few PS'ers have hyphenated, and I'm wondering how this works in your daily life. Do you go by the full hyphenated name? Do you have the full name on legal documents, but use just one name for everything else? I'm curious to find out more about the logistics.
 

Bella_mezzo

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I've been married for two years.

I didn't hyphenate, but I have two last names, like "Smith Johnson". What I wanted was two middle names like "Bella Anne Smith Johnson" but I would have had to go to court to officially change my name and I just didn't feel like doing that. :rolleyes: :cheeky: :bigsmile:

In my personal life I usually just go by my married last name "Bella Johnson"--but I sign things "Bella Smith Johnson" and use it most of the time in my professional life.

health insurance forms, medical records, taxes, etc. are a PITA. I kind of wish I would have just gone to court to have two middle names but I am very glad that I have all my names so I am dealing:)
 

Tanzigrrl

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I didn't hyphenate, either. I was told it was "out of vogue" when I got married in 2006. Who knows about that. I am also a two last names kind of gal. Technically, I dropped my middle name and moved my original last to my middle and took his last name as my last. Because both names are clearly "last names" I tend to use my entire name for everything so, ex: Sue Smith Johnson. Some refer to me as "First Name, His Last" but many will default to using all three and I suspect that it is because they assume that both are used as my last or that there is a hypen in between them.
 

Pandora II

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I didn't hyphenate - I was born into a hyphenated surname.

I was only too happy to swap it for a nice short surname. I would never inflict one upon my children either. It's a total PITA:

- never enough space on forms
- you never know which initial you are filed under
- maybe it's a UK thing, but people I hadn't even met made assumptions about my background and finances
- I endlessly had to correct spelling/pronunciation (and mine wasn't difficult at all)
- complete lack of anonymity - it was good in a sense when I was a politician, but bad in that I was the only person in the world with my name and thus very traceable. My new name isn't common, but I am no longer the only one!

If you don't need to do it then I wouldn't.
 

Munchkin

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Professionally it wasn't bad. I changed my licenses as they came for renewal. I think in my job (pediatric NP) hyphenating helped me stay recognizable to patients, lab databases, hospitals, specialists and pharmacies post wedding. I think my maiden name is still on the door but my hyphenated name is on my lab coat.

ETA: I noticed that shortly after the wedding I called myself Munhckin Maiden Name when speaking to patients and after we had been married a while it felt more natural to use the full name. I think it developed as I became more accustomed to being married.

One thing I have learned, though, is I always have to spell out my name slowly because throwing a hyphen into the mix confuses a LOT of people. Many systems, including my own patient database software, do not recognize hyphens. This can be annoying because in some systems I will be listed with a space, in others they squish together the names.

Socially it's a mixed bag. People I know through DH seem to have assumed I took his name. My friends were surprised I changed my name at all and still think of me by my maiden name.

An odd benefit is that I can always tell when a solicitor is calling because they ask for Mrs. Hislastname.

We will not be giving our kids a hyphenated name. In many ways it is a PIA and I don't want to impart that on them. I am still very happy with my decision to retain the old and add the new.
 

rainwood

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I've been a hyphenate for 33 years. I use my full name for everything. It would seem weird not to say my whole name because that's who I am. The one exception is when the situation suggests that whoever I'm dealing with doesn't have the brainpower to process my whole name. It happens rarely, but it happens. I've also discovered that a lot of people don't know what a hyphen is. If you say hyphen, they write an apostrophe or a comma. It sounds stupid, but it's happened more than you might imagine. I've even had people argue and tell me that it was a hyphen when it was clearly an apostrophe. How dumb is that?

Some people think it's a pain, but I like my hyphenated name. It was a pain only in the 70's when Social Security could not deal with hyphens and kept spitting out our tax return for my name and SS number not matching. Once that was solved, it's been pretty easy sailing. It probably helps that each name was only one syllable so my hyphenated name is still only two. And there aren't really any class distinctions made in the U.S. about hyphenates. No one has yet to think I'm British nobility even though both of my names are clearly Anglo names.

I second Munchkin's statement about it weeding out telephone solicitations. When they ask "Is Mrs. Only His Last Name in?", I always say no. If they know me, they'll know that's not my last name.
 

merilenda

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I find your responses all very interesting! I'm trying to decide what to do with my name. At first, I thought it wouldn't bother me at all to change it. But as the wedding approached, I found myself less and less able to imagine dropping my name altogether.

Hyphenating has never been a serious consideration for me, because it's just too much. My name is already 9 letters and 3 syllables. DH's name would add another 6 letters and 2 syllables. But I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday, and she told me that her name is legally hyphenated (which I never knew). She has her mom and dad's names, but she only uses the full name on legal documents. On everything else, professionally and personally, she only uses her mom's name (she's now estranged from her dad). So I got to thinking a little more about that option and was wondering how you all managed it logistically.

I've also considered dropping my middle name for my maiden, but I've always used my middle initial on everything since childhood. In fact, that "M" feels like more a part of my name than the middle name itself. It's also how I sign my name. So I find myself not wanting to drop it either.

Eventually I want to share a name with my children. DH has stayed out of my inner turmoil and basically just said that it's my decision and that I can do whatever I want with my name. He's even fine with us hyphenating our future children's names, but because of the reasons Pandora gave, I don't want to give them such a long, cumbersome name to start life.
 

kenny

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If your name is Smith-Jones, and your daughter marries Mr. Lincoln she'll be Ms. Lincoln-Smith-Jones.
That's not too bad but . . .

If her daughter marries Mr. Barnes she'll be Ms. Barnes-Lincoln-Smith-Jones.
If her daughter marries Mr. Fredricks she'll be Ms. Fredricks-Barnes-Lincoln-Smith-Jones.
If her daughter marries Mr. Conner she'll be Ms. Conner-Fredricks-Barnes-Lincoln-Smith-Jones.
If her daughter marries Mr. Ford she'll be Ms. Ford-Conner-Fredricks-Barnes-Lincoln-Smith-Jones.
If her daughter marries Mr. Harris she'll be Ms. Harris-Ford-Conner-Fredricks-Barnes-Lincoln-Smith-Jones.
If her daughter marries Mr. Channing she'll be Ms. Channing-Harris-Ford-Conner-Fredricks-Barnes-Lincoln-Smith-Jones.
If her daughter marries Mr. Baxter she'll be Ms. Baxter-Channing-Harris-Ford-Conner-Fredricks-Barnes-Lincoln-Smith-Jones.
If her daughter marries Mr. Fletcher she'll be Ms. Fletcher-Baxter-Channing-Harris-Ford-Conner-Fredricks-Barnes-Lincoln-Smith-Jones.
If her daughter marries Mr. Seymore she'll be Ms. Seymore-Fletcher-Baxter-Channing-Harris-Ford-Conner-Fredricks-Barnes-Lincoln-Smith-Jones.
If her daughter marries Mr. Higgins she'll be Ms. Higgins-Seymore-Fletcher-Baxter-Channing-Harris-Ford-Conner-Fredricks-Barnes-Lincoln-Smith-Jones.

This is kind of a cruel thing to do to Ms. Higgins-Seymore-Fletcher-Baxter-Channing-Harris-Ford-Conner-Fredricks-Barnes-Lincoln-Smith-Jones.

Is there no end?
 

Scorpioanne

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I didn't hyphenate as I don't like the look of the hyphen but do use 2 surnames all the time, I never use just my DH's name. I have also heard that historically you don't use a hyphen unless the name has had one "given" to it, you don't jsut decide to use it. I don't know all the details but an English friend told me this (does anyone know more about this?). I always use both as I think they sound fabulous together. Also I find that rarely if ever do people just call my by DH's last name which makes me happy. I never dropped my middle name but I also never used it either so I have 4 names on my ID.

BTW my maiden name is 9 letters and 3 syllables and DH's is 4 letters and 1 syllable which creates a great rythm.
 

kenny

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How's bout from now on every couple flips a coin at the marriage ceremony?
Heads, they both take her name.
Tails, they both take his name.

Then it wouldn't be like females are the inferior gender any more on this issue.
 

Scorpioanne

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Munchkin|1318465216|3038913 said:
An odd benefit is that I can always tell when a solicitor is calling because they ask for Mrs. Hislastname.

I totally agree!
 

Sha

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I did hyphenate. Couldn't imagine totally giving up by family name (I'm close with my family and plus lots of people know me by it) and besides DH hates his family name and is not close to his family.

I use my hyphenated name on official documents and sometimes at work. I use DH's name socially. It works for me.
 

Lisa Loves Shiny

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I keep two names which is perfectly legal in my state. My name and my married name. I am Lisa ( last name) which is the name I keep my professional license in and my married name which is Lisa (married name). I use both names and have not had a problem. Once when I was a witness to a car accident I found in the police report that I had one name and my "AKA" name. How cool is that to have an AKA name? lol
 

Clairitek

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I'm a hyphenate because I couldn't stomach giving up my family name but I wanted to be clearly connected to DH in some way. A hyphenation was the only logical way to work the whole thing out. When I introduce myself to someone in a work setting (pretty much the only time I really say my last name out loud when I meet someone) I say the whole thing, since that is my name. I only ever give just DH's name when I am making a reservation over the phone and its easier than spelling out my entire hyphenated name. His last name is pretty common and my maiden is not common at all and tough to spell. My name on my PhD diploma is my hyphenated one and my work uses my legal full last name as well. Drivers' license has the hyphenated version. The only thing that doesn't is my passport because I haven't bothered to change it yet. I am actually currently overseas and I booked my ticket in my maiden name so it matched my passport. Hasn't been an issue because I don't show my drivers' license and passport at the same time.

The most irksome thing to me has been when people who know I changed my name (my MIL for example) address things to me (and only me) as Mrs DH first DH last. Drives me up the wall.
 

Imdanny

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kenny|1318471441|3039003 said:
How's bout from now on every couple flips a coin at the marriage ceremony?
Heads, they both take her name.
Tails, they both take his name.

Then it wouldn't be like females are the inferior gender any more on this issue.

Yes, but whether they take her or his name, the name is going to be the name of a family in a patrilineal descent system. So to me, and again this is just my opinion, what I think, not what anyone else should think, or do, it makes no difference.

I had all kinds of 'problems' with my name. My name is my stepfather's name, but it was never legally changed (change the name of your child legally, please), my stepfather and I didn't get along when I was teenager, so I didn't like his name, but I still, of course, didn't like my 'real' father's name. To make things worse, I've never like my first name. I love my middle name (and hate the fact that my mother, who was 19 at the time, wanted to name me my middle name, but deferred to my father's wish to name me after his friend, my godfather) and, twelve years after I was born, my mother gave my middle name to my brother. ;(

I've learned to accept my name as "first" and "last," the first name my mother gave me and my stepfather's name, I think because trying to figure out what I wanted to do combined with the hassle and expense of legally changing a name, attrition just kind of won the battle.
 

UnluckyTwin

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merilenda|1318468182|3038952 said:
Eventually I want to share a name with my children. DH has stayed out of my inner turmoil and basically just said that it's my decision and that I can do whatever I want with my name. He's even fine with us hyphenating our future children's names, but because of the reasons Pandora gave, I don't want to give them such a long, cumbersome name to start life.

I suppose he hasn't considered changing his name to yours so that the two of you + future children can have the same last name without you losing everything you identify with about your name/signature?
 

lucyandroger

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Bella_mezzo|1318447258|3038743 said:
I've been married for two years.

I didn't hyphenate, but I have two last names, like "Smith Johnson". What I wanted was two middle names like "Bella Anne Smith Johnson" but I would have had to go to court to officially change my name and I just didn't feel like doing that. :rolleyes: :cheeky: :bigsmile:

In my personal life I usually just go by my married last name "Bella Johnson"--but I sign things "Bella Smith Johnson" and use it most of the time in my professional life.

health insurance forms, medical records, taxes, etc. are a PITA. I kind of wish I would have just gone to court to have two middle names but I am very glad that I have all my names so I am dealing:)

Practically, I have done the same thing as Bella except that I did get the two middlenames rather than two last names. Just like Bella, I go by FirstName MarriedName in my personal life but everything official and in my professional life, I am FirstName MaidenName MarriedName.

This has been a nice compromise for me.
 

merilenda

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Lisa, I love your solution! So both are your legal last names, just without a hyphen? One thing I thought about was adding my maiden as a second middle (kind of similar) but I wasn't sure how that worked either. I know many people are born with two middle names, but it seems like there wouldn't be enough room on legal forms! Hmm.

Clairitek, being addressed as Mrs. (DH first) (DH last) is also a huge, huge pet peeve of mine. My MIL gave us a card/check addressed like that when we got married. DH knows how much I hates it (when he wants to be really annoying, he'll come in and say "Oh hi Mrs. (DH first) (DH last), how are you doing?") and I think he said something to her, because the next package we got was addressed to (My name) / (His name). Oh and I can't forget the guy DH went to school with in his (very small) doctorate program who refused to socialize with us because we were "living in sin." I guess we're okay since now we're married, and his wife just sent us a baby announcement addressed like that. :angryfire: I am married, but I still have an identity and a name!

Danny, names are complicated creatures, aren't they?

UnluckyTwin, DH is actually very open-minded about all this. In fact, one solution that I've come up with is having him switch out his middle name for my maiden, so we both share both names somehow. We haven't discussed it much yet actually. He told me he's trying to stay out of it, because it's not his decision to make. He works in a profession where his name is much more important than in my profession, if that makes sense (he's in academia and publishes his work under his name). Plus he has a website and he commissions/sells his work under that name. So taking gender out of the equation, if one of us is changing our name, it doesn't really make sense for it to be him.
 

kenny

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I just heard about this and think it is a fantastic idea . . .

The man and woman both keep their last names.
Their daughters will get mom's last name, and their sons will get dad's.

This is not sexist and embraces the tradition of both family names.

To me this is so obvious, sensible, and logical I'm surprised I just only now heard of it.
 

rubybeth

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Like others in the thread, I didn't hyphenate, but added his last name AND he added mine. So, we are, together, the Smith Johnsons.

There are all kinds of reasons for it which I'll explain below, but I've found that it is not really a problem since so many computer systems allow searching by either or both names. I always use both names. And I like that he changed his name as well, so we made a trip together to the social security office and the DMV. Full name is on all legal documents, and if there's ever anything that hasn't been switched yet, my 'maiden' name is still part of my name so it is easy to prove I am who I am. I don't have any professional licensure, but did get my masters after we were married, and I like that my undergrad diploma and grad diploma both have my 'maiden' name ('Beth Smith' and 'Beth Smith Johnson'), as would my transcripts.

Sometimes it gets hyphenated or people drop one name, but it's just not a big deal to me and I am very understanding with clerks/receptionists/etc. when they look up my name. I say, "I chose to do this this way, so I don't mind!"

Reasons for doing it this way:
1. My husband very much wanted us to have the same last name.
2. I really like my last name and wanted to keep it. It's unusual and well-known in my city/region, for good reason. I'm proud of my family. :bigsmile:
3. Husband offered to take my last name, but I have an uncle with the same name as him, so there would have been two Steve Smiths and it would have been weird to think of him as Steve Smith when my UNCLE is Steve Smith, y'know?
4. Hyphens sometimes don't work well in computer systems, plus I feel like they make people want to say the name really fast "SmithJohnson" and mush it all together, instead of having two distinct last names. The space may be confusing for some people, but when I say 'Like Hillary Rodham Clinton or Elizabeth Barrett Browning' then they get it.
5. My husband's last name is actually his mother's last name, not his father's, which is kind of cool, since I took 'her' name.

Edited to add: we don't plan on having children, BUT if we were to do so, a child would get both names. I don't care if they later marry and decide to change it--that's their prerogative.
 

jstarfireb

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We've been married for 2.5 years. I hyphenated and I go by my maiden name both professionally and personally. As much as I love my husband, I can't bring myself to use his name. It sounds wrong to me, it doesn't match my ethnicity, and it's not the name I grew up with. So I introduce myself by my maiden name and use my full hyphenated name only for legal documents. I think it's a no-brainer what to call me, because my maiden name is the first part of the hyphenated name, so why skip it and jump to the second name? But people still get it wrong all the time. Let's say my maiden name is Jessica Renee Brown, and my married name is Jessica Renee Brown-Taylor (it's of course not those particular names, just made up for the sake of argument). I want to be called Jessica Brown, but too many people still try to call me Jessica Taylor (and I do correct them, because it's a major pet peeve for me). But when I correct them, I often feel an air of judgment, as if I'm not devoted enough to my husband because I don't call myself by his name. Also, Pandora brought up the subject of initials...my initials will always be JRB to me, but a lot of people mistakenly call my initials JBT or file paperwork under T instead of B. It's very annoying!

The other annoyance of a hyphenated name is flying. For some reason, the TSA can't handle hyphenated names, so I have to put both names on all plane tickets without the hyphen, so it looks like Jessica Renee Brown Taylor. That bothers me because people are more likely to assume that his name is the name I want to go by, so they call me Mrs. Taylor when I want to be called Ms. Brown (well, Dr. Brown if you're going to get technical.

We're not planning on having children, so it's a moot point what name they would have. If we changed our minds, they'd just have his name, but I'd consider giving them mine as a middle name.

I have no problem with having a hyphenated name and often recommend hyphenating as a compromise between a woman who wants to keep her own name and a man who wants her to change it. It worked for us. I just wish other people would get it right!
 

Octavia

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Rubybeth, I love the way you and your husband handled the name change. If my husband was open to this, I would definitely do it, but when we were engaged I told him it's the only way I'll consider changing my name and the ball is now in his court, and he chose for us each to keep our own names (well, he'd prefer that I just take his, but that's not happening -- we both do it or neither of us do). Maybe once we have kids he'll feel differently. It would be a pain on forms and a real mouthful to say in our case, as my last name is 11 letters/3 syllables and his is 10 letters/4 syllables, but I'm sure we could adapt. Anyway, I personally ruled out hyphenating for the same reason I don't go by "Mrs." (EVER) -- I hate the fact that women are defined by their title and name as married or not married, while men are not, and I feel like it's nobody's business but mine unless I want to disclose it. I think that whereas in the UK a hyphenated name makes people think of old money, in the US it makes people think the woman is married (even if that was her name from birth). So calling myself "Ms. Smith-Jones" wouldn't be any different, conceptually, than calling myself "Mrs. Jones." However, with two names, I could just leave one out when I didn't want to be identified by my status, and use both when I don't mind doing so.

Piggybacking a little on the OP's question, for those with two unhyphenated last names, do you find that people only use the second when addressing you? As in:

A: Hello, B, meet my friend Mary Smith Jones.
B: Oh, hello M(r)s. Jones, it's nice to meet you.

Or:

Mary Smith Jones
123 Residential Street
Anytown, USA 12345

Dear Ms. Jones,

I used to work in a job where we sent out tons of letters, and that was the default way the system printed things, but I was always a little unsure of whether it was technically right, since mist of the time we couldn't tell if it was a middle or second last name. I usually changed it to have both names if I caught it in time, as I thought it better to be over-inclusive than to leave a name out...
 

ladypirate

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rubybeth said:
Like others in the thread, I didn't hyphenate, but added his last name AND he added mine. So, we are, together, the Smith Johnsons.

There are all kinds of reasons for it which I'll explain below, but I've found that it is not really a problem since so many computer systems allow searching by either or both names. I always use both names. And I like that he changed his name as well, so we made a trip together to the social security office and the DMV. Full name is on all legal documents, and if there's ever anything that hasn't been switched yet, my 'maiden' name is still part of my name so it is easy to prove I am who I am. I don't have any professional licensure, but did get my masters after we were married, and I like that my undergrad diploma and grad diploma both have my 'maiden' name ('Beth Smith' and 'Beth Smith Johnson'), as would my transcripts.

Sometimes it gets hyphenated or people drop one name, but it's just not a big deal to me and I am very understanding with clerks/receptionists/etc. when they look up my name. I say, "I chose to do this this way, so I don't mind!"

Reasons for doing it this way:
1. My husband very much wanted us to have the same last name.
2. I really like my last name and wanted to keep it. It's unusual and well-known in my city/region, for good reason. I'm proud of my family. :bigsmile:
3. Husband offered to take my last name, but I have an uncle with the same name as him, so there would have been two Steve Smiths and it would have been weird to think of him as Steve Smith when my UNCLE is Steve Smith, y'know?
4. Hyphens sometimes don't work well in computer systems, plus I feel like they make people want to say the name really fast "SmithJohnson" and mush it all together, instead of having two distinct last names. The space may be confusing for some people, but when I say 'Like Hillary Rodham Clinton or Elizabeth Barrett Browning' then they get it.
5. My husband's last name is actually his mother's last name, not his father's, which is kind of cool, since I took 'her' name.

Edited to add: we don't plan on having children, BUT if we were to do so, a child would get both names. I don't care if they later marry and decide to change it--that's their prerogative.

We also both took both names, although there is a hyphen. So we are both Firstname Mylast-Hislast. Our new last name is somewhat long, but it sounds good together and we like it. We both use both names personally and professionally. It works well for us and if we have children they will also take both names, although as Ruby Beth said they can always decide to change it or drop a name later on.
 

Scorpioanne

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Octavia|1318532415|3039523 said:
Rubybeth, I love the way you and your husband handled the name change. If my husband was open to this, I would definitely do it, but when we were engaged I told him it's the only way I'll consider changing my name and the ball is now in his court, and he chose for us each to keep our own names (well, he'd prefer that I just take his, but that's not happening -- we both do it or neither of us do). Maybe once we have kids he'll feel differently. It would be a pain on forms and a real mouthful to say in our case, as my last name is 11 letters/3 syllables and his is 10 letters/4 syllables, but I'm sure we could adapt. Anyway, I personally ruled out hyphenating for the same reason I don't go by "Mrs." (EVER) -- I hate the fact that women are defined by their title and name as married or not married, while men are not, and I feel like it's nobody's business but mine unless I want to disclose it. I think that whereas in the UK a hyphenated name makes people think of old money, in the US it makes people think the woman is married (even if that was her name from birth). So calling myself "Ms. Smith-Jones" wouldn't be any different, conceptually, than calling myself "Mrs. Jones." However, with two names, I could just leave one out when I didn't want to be identified by my status, and use both when I don't mind doing so.

Piggybacking a little on the OP's question, for those with two unhyphenated last names, do you find that people only use the second when addressing you? As in:

A: Hello, B, meet my friend Mary Smith Jones.
B: Oh, hello M(r)s. Jones, it's nice to meet you.

Or:

Mary Smith Jones
123 Residential Street
Anytown, USA 12345

Dear Ms. Jones,

I used to work in a job where we sent out tons of letters, and that was the default way the system printed things, but I was always a little unsure of whether it was technically right, since mist of the time we couldn't tell if it was a middle or second last name. I usually changed it to have both names if I caught it in time, as I thought it better to be over-inclusive than to leave a name out...

I would say 95 % of the time when people call me by name they use both names. Especially at work, it might be because I work at a university and it is very common for women to use a double surname.
 

jstarfireb

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Mar 24, 2007
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I'm so glad to hear that some men are taking both names as well. I wish my husband would have been progressive enough to do that...but if he wasn't progressive enough to let me keep my own name, he's certainly not progressive enough to change his!
 

Gothgrrl

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I always wanted to keep my maiden name, and also as to honor my father. I did the hyphen thing, but it didn't work well for me. For example, my name was Jane Doe. I married Mr. Smith. So I went by Jane Doe-Smith. People didn't get the hyphenation, and it really bothered me if they addressed me by just Smith. They would address me as Jane Smith, even though I told them or wrote my last name as Doe-Smith. They butchered my name on things that were mailed to me. I got stuff that read Jane Smith, Smith J. Doe, Mr. J. Doe Smith, etc.

After a talk with my hubby, I went and legally changed my name back to Jane Doe. I was lucky to have such an understanding hubby as some would be hurt to learn that their wife wants to drop his last name.
 

Black Jade

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Joined
Aug 21, 2008
Messages
1,242
I hypenated and I hate it.
I wanted to keep my maiden name as my last name but my father was totally against this idea so I 'compromised'. Hubby said he was fine with it., but it was a PITB for 26 years. My name sounded nicer hyphenated (my maiden name was awful and my husband's is euphonious), but the combination is way too long (WAY too long); no one can ever find me in written records--I can never find MYSELF, even, for insurance, in hospital records, when library books are on hold, anything at all; and (though this is minor) it's annoying to explain to people. I decided to get rid of the hyphenated name two years ago. But it's still a PITB. It turned out that I was never legally hyphenated somehow--that I was still under my maiden name on Social Security, I changed the social security number, but the driver's license never got changed, and I've lived all my professional life with the hyphenated name, written using it, etc. etc so now it's even MORE difficult than when I first started with it. However, I do feel that gradually (got to go change that driver's license) I am getting it sorted out--and hubby is way happier. Not because he is some secret chauvinist that was dying to have me change my name, but the convenience factor (though not perfect) is way up.
Never even considered having the kids hyphenate or having hubby change his last name. I jsut wanted to keep my name, which I was used to. But now I'm used to be being Mrs. X (which people usually ended up calling me anyway, even when I was hyphenated, unless I explained that I was). At first, that sounded to me like it was my mother-in-law.
Funny thing, when people think I have my husband's name, they call me Mrs. X; when they think I'm hyphenated, they call me Ms. X-Y. I never liked being a Ms. It just always sounded silly to me. It doesn't actually help with disguising from people whether you are married or not--they can usually soon figure that out, and why would I want to disguise being married anyway?
Let me put the usual disclaimer--I don't care what anyone else chooses to do one way or the other--I jsut found it didn't work for ME and I wish I'dnever done it.
 

stargurl78

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 19, 2010
Messages
3,296
I didn't hyphenate but I made my maiden name my middle name and took DH's last name. So I used to be Lisa MiddleName MaidenName and now I'm Lisa MaidenName DHLastName. This way I'm taking his last name but not losing my family name completely, just losing my original middle name, which I could care less about.
 
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