shape
carat
color
clarity

TO M OR NOT TO M? M vs. J - help!

durfita

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jul 11, 2019
Messages
23
We lost everything in the CA fires, and my current ring is like my rebound boyfriend... I want to love him, but he is just a placeholder until the real thing comes along! I love two new diamonds and it's like my childhood conflict - quantity vs. quality. Should I get the Charleston Chew because it's huge or the Snickers because it is the best??

I am a big girl with big hair and a size 7.75 finger - size matters. I want the biggest diamond in a high setting, Texas style. I love the old Hollywood warmer stones but those stones are 10 carats so it's a who cares about warmth because they are gigantic! I have narrowed it down to two stones, an M and a J, and I need your opinions because I am mentally back in that candy bar aisle unable to decide! Both have strong fluorescence which I prefer because I love that weird blue in sunlight and I don't think of it as cloudy. These two stones are high enough clarity that I am not too worried about an actually cloudy stone.

4.5 carat round M color, VS1, HRD certified (in my opinion it's an N) - cert attached

3.87 carat round J color, VS1, IGI certified - cert attached

The 4.5 carat M is $3000 cheaper than the J color diamond, and .5mm larger. But that J color is so lovely! I have a K GIA emerald step cut right now and from the side it shows a tiny bit of warmth which bothers me because the stone is smaller and this cut doesn't sparkle like the brilliant cuts. Would I mind the M warmth if it looks like a door knob?? :) HELP ME OBI WAN KENOBIS, YOU ARE MY ONLY HOPES!!!

Thank you in advance, the point of this stone is a forever keeper that I can pass down to my daughter someday. Anyone with large Ms? I would love to see pics inside the house in daylight!! I work remotely from home so most days I will stare at it in the house.


cert (1).jpeg
 

Attachments

  • 200000090068 (1).pdf
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AllAboardTheBlingTrain

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 22, 2020
Messages
1,956
FWIW, I have heard from my jeweler (not US based) that HRD colour grades are stricter than IGI and comparable to GIA. That seems to be the prevailing opinion in my part of the world but I do believe IGI has also become a bit stricter so maybe it’s an apples to apples comparison - as in, the two diamonds are actually three grades apart, whatever the grades may be.

Tbh I like the look of the M more in the video, I think it faces up pretty white and it just seemed like a prettier stone to me. I don’t really get nuances of cut and all and I didn’t open your pdf file as I don’t like to download files (could you post a screenshot as an image?) so I can’t assess which one is a “better cut”. If you set it in a setting where the side is a bit covered up, imo I would prefer the M over the J. I would like the M in any setting tbh, but if you’re afraid the colour will bother you, a setting where the side is a bit covered up (like a bit more decorative basket, or a halo) will take care of that problem. I know for me I will notice the size more than the colour, all day every day, and it’ll bug me that I left that added spread on the table.
 

Tourmaline

Ideal_Rock
Trade
Joined
Nov 17, 2013
Messages
2,560
I prefer the M, but that’s because I actually like warmth. The J is really nice, too. My diamond is a 5.48ct M. It happens to be an OEC. Diamond pictures are better outside, even if you will be inside most of the time.
 

durfita

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jul 11, 2019
Messages
23
We lost everything in the CA fires, and my current ring is like my rebound boyfriend... I want to love him, but he is just a placeholder until the real thing comes along! I love two new diamonds and it's like my childhood conflict - quantity vs. quality. Should I get the Charleston Chew because it's huge or the Snickers because it is the best??

I am a big girl with big hair and a size 7.75 finger - size matters. I want the biggest diamond in a high setting, Texas style. I love the old Hollywood warmer stones but those stones are 10 carats so it's a who cares about warmth because they are gigantic! I have narrowed it down to two stones, an M and a J, and I need your opinions because I am mentally back in that candy bar aisle unable to decide! Both have strong fluorescence which I prefer because I love that weird blue in sunlight and I don't think of it as cloudy. These two stones are high enough clarity that I am not too worried about an actually cloudy stone.

4.5 carat round M color, VS1, HRD certified (in my opinion it's an N) - cert attached

3.87 carat round J color, VS1, IGI certified - cert attached

The 4.5 carat M is $3000 cheaper than the J color diamond, and .5mm larger. But that J color is so lovely! I have a K GIA emerald step cut right now and from the side it shows a tiny bit of warmth which bothers me because the stone is smaller and this cut doesn't sparkle like the brilliant cuts. Would I mind the M warmth if it looks like a door knob?? :) HELP ME OBI WAN KENOBIS, YOU ARE MY ONLY HOPES!!!

Thank you in advance, the point of this stone is a forever keeper that I can pass down to my daughter someday. Anyone with large Ms? I would love to see pics inside the house in daylight!! I work remotely from home so most days I will stare at it in the house.


cert (1).jpeg

Screenshots attached! I hope this works. Screen Shot 2021-08-01 at 11.57.25 AM.png Screen Shot 2021-08-01 at 11.56.54 AM.png
 

durfita

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jul 11, 2019
Messages
23
FWIW, I have heard from my jeweler (not US based) that HRD colour grades are stricter than IGI and comparable to GIA. That seems to be the prevailing opinion in my part of the world but I do believe IGI has also become a bit stricter so maybe it’s an apples to apples comparison - as in, the two diamonds are actually three grades apart, whatever the grades may be.

Tbh I like the look of the M more in the video, I think it faces up pretty white and it just seemed like a prettier stone to me. I don’t really get nuances of cut and all and I didn’t open your pdf file as I don’t like to download files (could you post a screenshot as an image?) so I can’t assess which one is a “better cut”. If you set it in a setting where the side is a bit covered up, imo I would prefer the M over the J. I would like the M in any setting tbh, but if you’re afraid the colour will bother you, a setting where the side is a bit covered up (like a bit more decorative basket, or a halo) will take care of that problem. I know for me I will notice the size more than the colour, all day every day, and it’ll bug me that I left that added spread on the table.

Thank you for your help, I added screenshots in a reply (I was past the editing window)!
 

durfita

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jul 11, 2019
Messages
23
I prefer the M, but that’s because I actually like warmth. The J is really nice, too. My diamond is a 5.48ct M. It happens to be an OEC. Diamond pictures are better outside, even if you will be inside most of the time.

THAT RING!!! OMG. OEC is my favorite, I wish there were large ones like yours in my price range.
 

durfita

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jul 11, 2019
Messages
23
What is your budget and are these the only 2 options?

I need to stay under $31k for the total ring (I estimate about $1500 for a setting), I have been searching for months and these are the only two that caught my eye. Two main parameters, ~10mm diameter minimum and excellent cut. Preferably fluorescent because I love that look. I live in CA, so sales tax can be an issue depending upon seller location.
 
Last edited:

bludiva

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Sep 23, 2017
Messages
2,971
I love the M color personally so it would be an easy choice for me ;-) set it in unplated white gold if you want to minimize contrast or give it a white halo if you want to play up the color. Whatever you choose, M, J, or other, I hope you love it :)
 

durfita

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jul 11, 2019
Messages
23
I love the M color personally so it would be an easy choice for me ;-) set it in I play ed white gold if you want to minimize contrast or give it a white halo if you want to play up the color. Whatever you choose, M, J, or other, I hope you love it :)

Thank you!
 

lulu_ma

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 9, 2020
Messages
1,622
I also have an M color OEC and I love it. When I bought it I had a similar dilemma. There was a 3.5 transitional that was just short of 10 mm. I went for the larger M color.
 

AllAboardTheBlingTrain

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 22, 2020
Messages
1,956
The screenshots came through, thank you! They seem quite similarly cut, though I don’t know enough to be able to gauge if they’re “well cut” or not. But to my eye, I liked the M more. I thought it faced up quite white, not a huge difference in the face up colour (in the video) between M and J. Of course from the side and back there was an appreciable difference.

I would get the M, and set it in WG with a halo (but get the halo with lower coloured melee, that matches/complements the centre stone). A good jeweler will be able to do this. At a minimum you would want J/K coloured melee I think, but if your ring maker can get lower, would be better. I would also do a decorative basket that covers up the sides a bit. This would both maximise size on the hand and minimise colour imo.

Best of luck and have fun deciding!
 
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durfita

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jul 11, 2019
Messages
23
The screenshots came through, thank you! They seem quite similarly cut, though I don’t know enough to be able to gauge if they’re “well cut” or not. But to my eye, I liked the M more. I thought it faced up quite white, not a huge difference in the face up colour (in the video) between M and J. Of course from the side and back there was an appreciable difference.

I would get the M, and set it in WG with a halo (but get the halo with lower coloured melee, that matches/complements the centre stone). A good jeweler will be able to do this. At a minimum you would want J/K coloured melee I think, but if your ring maker can get lower, would be better. I would also do a decorative basket that covers up the sides a bit. This would both maximise size on the hand and minimise colour imo.

Best of luck and have fun deciding!

Thank you so much for your time!
 

durfita

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jul 11, 2019
Messages
23
I also have an M color OEC and I love it. When I bought it I had a similar dilemma. There was a 3.5 transitional that was just short of 10 mm. I went for the larger M color.

Your ring is amazing if it it the one in your profile, wow!
 

lulu_ma

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 9, 2020
Messages
1,622
O
M
G
!!!

Can I be in your will??? WOW

I only wish I has discovered warmer diamonds earlier-Look at this N color!

 

Sprinkles&Stones

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 19, 2020
Messages
1,377
I love M colored stones! They are so dreamy. I have a J myself, pictured below. Totally lean into the warm color and do something in rose gold or yellow gold! I love that combo EDC59DC1-3B11-48A3-BA9E-40F84A71877A.jpeg
 

AprilBaby

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 17, 2008
Messages
12,216
I would choose the M.
 

Cerulean

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Messages
3,587
The M is a prettier cut to me, but I see a striking difference in color. But how sensitive you are and whether you like the warmth is up to you. I prefer whiter diamonds, but taste is subjective!!! There’s no right or wrong. If you like the off white, ivory color of the M, you should get it. Many people appreciate it, and some don’t!

To me your anecdote of being bothered by the warmth in another stone is telling, but some people like different colors in different cuts and I think step cuts show color more.

If you are bothered by the warmth in person, hopefully there’s a good return policy!
 

lovedogs

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 31, 2014
Messages
14,331
The M is a prettier cut to me, but I see a striking difference in color. But how sensitive you are and whether you like the warmth is up to you. I prefer whiter diamonds, but taste is subjective!!! There’s no right or wrong. If you like the off white, ivory color of the M, you should get it. Many people appreciate it, and some don’t!

To me your anecdote of being bothered by the warmth in another stone is telling, but some people like different colors in different cuts and I think step cuts show color more.

If you are bothered by the warmth in person, hopefully there’s a good return policy!

That's a good point about returns!!
 

oncrutchesrightnow

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 17, 2006
Messages
1,089
First I am so sorry that you lost so much.

If you are bothered by warmth then get the J. But like was pointed out if there is a return policy then trying the M is less risky.

Here are my Ks (both GIA) in indoor lighting. They look whiter in outside lighting. But indoors you can see a lot of warmth.

7950403D-AF29-491A-8FB3-EE079250D7F9.jpeg

2E34CACD-13D0-47DD-B3BD-247E8C167230.jpeg

‘Here is a GIA K (top) next to an IGI G (bottom).

1736B90A-40AC-40BB-89B9-8A5A8B762DA6.jpeg

Happy ring-buying :)
 

caf

Brilliant_Rock
Premium
Joined
Nov 26, 2013
Messages
1,505
I like the cut of the M better. I like the color of the M too. But you need to love it. Let us know what you decide!
 

ProfessorBling

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Oct 29, 2012
Messages
127
I love the M. I'll send you my address so you can mail it to me for my birthday. :lol-2: :lol-2::lol-2:

You said you prefer the size, right? I think it is absolutely stunning and I agree that the cut is better. I like florescence too and I'm sure it'll "whiten" up the stone nicely. This does not look milky or hazy at all.

I have an emerald cut L (med. floro) and round K (no floro) and I definitely see the color more in the step cut.

Please do post pics of your new doorknob, whenever you decide!
 

durfita

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jul 11, 2019
Messages
23
I love the M. I'll send you my address so you can mail it to me for my birthday. :lol-2: :lol-2::lol-2:

You said you prefer the size, right? I think it is absolutely stunning and I agree that the cut is better. I like florescence too and I'm sure it'll "whiten" up the stone nicely. This does not look milky or hazy at all.

I have an emerald cut L (med. floro) and round K (no floro) and I definitely see the color more in the step cut.

Please do post pics of your new doorknob, whenever you decide!

LOL!
 
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