TO M OR NOT TO M? M vs. J - help!

[durfita]

We lost everything in the CA fires, and my current ring is like my rebound boyfriend... I want to love him, but he is just a placeholder until the real thing comes along! I love two new diamonds and it's like my childhood conflict - quantity vs. quality. Should I get the Charleston Chew because it's huge or the Snickers because it is the best??

I am a big girl with big hair and a size 7.75 finger - size matters. I want the biggest diamond in a high setting, Texas style. I love the old Hollywood warmer stones but those stones are 10 carats so it's a who cares about warmth because they are gigantic! I have narrowed it down to two stones, an M and a J, and I need your opinions because I am mentally back in that candy bar aisle unable to decide! Both have strong fluorescence which I prefer because I love that weird blue in sunlight and I don't think of it as cloudy. These two stones are high enough clarity that I am not too worried about an actually cloudy stone.

4.5 carat round M color, VS1, HRD certified (in my opinion it's an N) - cert attached

3.87 carat round J color, VS1, IGI certified - cert attached

The 4.5 carat M is $3000 cheaper than the J color diamond, and .5mm larger. But that J color is so lovely! I have a K GIA emerald step cut right now and from the side it shows a tiny bit of warmth which bothers me because the stone is smaller and this cut doesn't sparkle like the brilliant cuts. Would I mind the M warmth if it looks like a door knob?? HELP ME OBI WAN KENOBIS, YOU ARE MY ONLY HOPES!!!

Thank you in advance, the point of this stone is a forever keeper that I can pass down to my daughter someday. Anyone with large Ms? I would love to see pics inside the house in daylight!! I work remotely from home so most days I will stare at it in the house.

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

FWIW, I have heard from my jeweler (not US based) that HRD colour grades are stricter than IGI and comparable to GIA. That seems to be the prevailing opinion in my part of the world but I do believe IGI has also become a bit stricter so maybe it’s an apples to apples comparison - as in, the two diamonds are actually three grades apart, whatever the grades may be.

Tbh I like the look of the M more in the video, I think it faces up pretty white and it just seemed like a prettier stone to me. I don’t really get nuances of cut and all and I didn’t open your pdf file as I don’t like to download files (could you post a screenshot as an image?) so I can’t assess which one is a “better cut”. If you set it in a setting where the side is a bit covered up, imo I would prefer the M over the J. I would like the M in any setting tbh, but if you’re afraid the colour will bother you, a setting where the side is a bit covered up (like a bit more decorative basket, or a halo) will take care of that problem. I know for me I will notice the size more than the colour, all day every day, and it’ll bug me that I left that added spread on the table.

 

[Tourmaline]

I prefer the M, but that’s because I actually like warmth. The J is really nice, too. My diamond is a 5.48ct M. It happens to be an OEC. Diamond pictures are better outside, even if you will be inside most of the time.

 

[durfita]

We lost everything in the CA fires, and my current ring is like my rebound boyfriend... I want to love him, but he is just a placeholder until the real thing comes along! I love two new diamonds and it's like my childhood conflict - quantity vs. quality. Should I get the Charleston Chew because it's huge or the Snickers because it is the best??

I am a big girl with big hair and a size 7.75 finger - size matters. I want the biggest diamond in a high setting, Texas style. I love the old Hollywood warmer stones but those stones are 10 carats so it's a who cares about warmth because they are gigantic! I have narrowed it down to two stones, an M and a J, and I need your opinions because I am mentally back in that candy bar aisle unable to decide! Both have strong fluorescence which I prefer because I love that weird blue in sunlight and I don't think of it as cloudy. These two stones are high enough clarity that I am not too worried about an actually cloudy stone.

4.5 carat round M color, VS1, HRD certified (in my opinion it's an N) - cert attached

3.87 carat round J color, VS1, IGI certified - cert attached

The 4.5 carat M is $3000 cheaper than the J color diamond, and .5mm larger. But that J color is so lovely! I have a K GIA emerald step cut right now and from the side it shows a tiny bit of warmth which bothers me because the stone is smaller and this cut doesn't sparkle like the brilliant cuts. Would I mind the M warmth if it looks like a door knob?? HELP ME OBI WAN KENOBIS, YOU ARE MY ONLY HOPES!!!

Thank you in advance, the point of this stone is a forever keeper that I can pass down to my daughter someday. Anyone with large Ms? I would love to see pics inside the house in daylight!! I work remotely from home so most days I will stare at it in the house.

Screenshots attached! I hope this works.

 

[durfita]

FWIW, I have heard from my jeweler (not US based) that HRD colour grades are stricter than IGI and comparable to GIA. That seems to be the prevailing opinion in my part of the world but I do believe IGI has also become a bit stricter so maybe it’s an apples to apples comparison - as in, the two diamonds are actually three grades apart, whatever the grades may be.

Tbh I like the look of the M more in the video, I think it faces up pretty white and it just seemed like a prettier stone to me. I don’t really get nuances of cut and all and I didn’t open your pdf file as I don’t like to download files (could you post a screenshot as an image?) so I can’t assess which one is a “better cut”. If you set it in a setting where the side is a bit covered up, imo I would prefer the M over the J. I would like the M in any setting tbh, but if you’re afraid the colour will bother you, a setting where the side is a bit covered up (like a bit more decorative basket, or a halo) will take care of that problem. I know for me I will notice the size more than the colour, all day every day, and it’ll bug me that I left that added spread on the table.

Thank you for your help, I added screenshots in a reply (I was past the editing window)!

 

[durfita]

I prefer the M, but that’s because I actually like warmth. The J is really nice, too. My diamond is a 5.48ct M. It happens to be an OEC. Diamond pictures are better outside, even if you will be inside most of the time.

THAT RING!!! OMG. OEC is my favorite, I wish there were large ones like yours in my price range.

 

[lovedogs]

What is your budget and are these the only 2 options?

 

[durfita]

What is your budget and are these the only 2 options?

I need to stay under $31k for the total ring (I estimate about $1500 for a setting), I have been searching for months and these are the only two that caught my eye. Two main parameters, ~10mm diameter minimum and excellent cut. Preferably fluorescent because I love that look. I live in CA, so sales tax can be an issue depending upon seller location.

 

[bludiva]

I love the M color personally so it would be an easy choice for me set it in unplated white gold if you want to minimize contrast or give it a white halo if you want to play up the color. Whatever you choose, M, J, or other, I hope you love it

 

[durfita]

I love the M color personally so it would be an easy choice for me set it in I play ed white gold if you want to minimize contrast or give it a white halo if you want to play up the color. Whatever you choose, M, J, or other, I hope you love it

Thank you!

 

[lulu_ma]

I also have an M color OEC and I love it. When I bought it I had a similar dilemma. There was a 3.5 transitional that was just short of 10 mm. I went for the larger M color.

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

The screenshots came through, thank you! They seem quite similarly cut, though I don’t know enough to be able to gauge if they’re “well cut” or not. But to my eye, I liked the M more. I thought it faced up quite white, not a huge difference in the face up colour (in the video) between M and J. Of course from the side and back there was an appreciable difference.

I would get the M, and set it in WG with a halo (but get the halo with lower coloured melee, that matches/complements the centre stone). A good jeweler will be able to do this. At a minimum you would want J/K coloured melee I think, but if your ring maker can get lower, would be better. I would also do a decorative basket that covers up the sides a bit. This would both maximise size on the hand and minimise colour imo.

Best of luck and have fun deciding!

 

[Tourmaline]

By the way, wearing a 24k pure gold band contrasts beautifully with my M.

 

[durfita]

By the way, wearing a 24k pure gold band contrasts beautifully with my M.

This pic is HUGE for my decision, we have the same complexion! I LOVE your ring.

 

[durfita]

The screenshots came through, thank you! They seem quite similarly cut, though I don’t know enough to be able to gauge if they’re “well cut” or not. But to my eye, I liked the M more. I thought it faced up quite white, not a huge difference in the face up colour (in the video) between M and J. Of course from the side and back there was an appreciable difference.

I would get the M, and set it in WG with a halo (but get the halo with lower coloured melee, that matches/complements the centre stone). A good jeweler will be able to do this. At a minimum you would want J/K coloured melee I think, but if your ring maker can get lower, would be better. I would also do a decorative basket that covers up the sides a bit. This would both maximise size on the hand and minimise colour imo.

Best of luck and have fun deciding!

Thank you so much for your time!

 

[durfita]

I also have an M color OEC and I love it. When I bought it I had a similar dilemma. There was a 3.5 transitional that was just short of 10 mm. I went for the larger M color.

Your ring is amazing if it it the one in your profile, wow!

 

[lulu_ma]

Your ring is amazing if it it the one in your profile, wow!

Thank you-it is! The ring is a size 7. The stones in the halo are I color.

Here’s a shot from earlier today.

 

[durfita]

Thank you-it is! The ring is a size 7. The stones in the halo are I color.

Here’s a shot from earlier today.

O
M
G
!!!

Can I be in your will??? WOW

 

[lulu_ma]

O
M
G
!!!

Can I be in your will??? WOW

I only wish I has discovered warmer diamonds earlier-Look at this N color!

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[durfita]

I only wish I has discovered warmer diamonds earlier-Look at this N color!

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Holy skating rink!!!

 

[Sprinkles&Stones]

I love M colored stones! They are so dreamy. I have a J myself, pictured below. Totally lean into the warm color and do something in rose gold or yellow gold! I love that combo

 

[AprilBaby]

I would choose the M.

 

[durfita]

I love M colored stones! They are so dreamy. I have a J myself, pictured below. Totally lean into the warm color and do something in rose gold or yellow gold! I love that combo

beautiful!!! So sparkly

 

[lovedogs]

I prefer the video of the M

 

[Cerulean]

The M is a prettier cut to me, but I see a striking difference in color. But how sensitive you are and whether you like the warmth is up to you. I prefer whiter diamonds, but taste is subjective!!! There’s no right or wrong. If you like the off white, ivory color of the M, you should get it. Many people appreciate it, and some don’t!

To me your anecdote of being bothered by the warmth in another stone is telling, but some people like different colors in different cuts and I think step cuts show color more.

If you are bothered by the warmth in person, hopefully there’s a good return policy!

 

[lovedogs]

The M is a prettier cut to me, but I see a striking difference in color. But how sensitive you are and whether you like the warmth is up to you. I prefer whiter diamonds, but taste is subjective!!! There’s no right or wrong. If you like the off white, ivory color of the M, you should get it. Many people appreciate it, and some don’t!

To me your anecdote of being bothered by the warmth in another stone is telling, but some people like different colors in different cuts and I think step cuts show color more.

If you are bothered by the warmth in person, hopefully there’s a good return policy!

That's a good point about returns!!

 

[oncrutchesrightnow]

First I am so sorry that you lost so much.

If you are bothered by warmth then get the J. But like was pointed out if there is a return policy then trying the M is less risky.

Here are my Ks (both GIA) in indoor lighting. They look whiter in outside lighting. But indoors you can see a lot of warmth.





‘Here is a GIA K (top) next to an IGI G (bottom).



Happy ring-buying

 

[caf]

I like the cut of the M better. I like the color of the M too. But you need to love it. Let us know what you decide!

 

[PastryGirl]

I love the M. I'll send you my address so you can mail it to me for my birthday.

You said you prefer the size, right? I think it is absolutely stunning and I agree that the cut is better. I like florescence too and I'm sure it'll "whiten" up the stone nicely. This does not look milky or hazy at all.

I have an emerald cut L (med. floro) and round K (no floro) and I definitely see the color more in the step cut.

Please do post pics of your new doorknob, whenever you decide!

 

[durfita]

I love the M. I'll send you my address so you can mail it to me for my birthday.

You said you prefer the size, right? I think it is absolutely stunning and I agree that the cut is better. I like florescence too and I'm sure it'll "whiten" up the stone nicely. This does not look milky or hazy at all.

I have an emerald cut L (med. floro) and round K (no floro) and I definitely see the color more in the step cut.

Please do post pics of your new doorknob, whenever you decide!

LOL!