This was bound to happen with guys buying his gf a MMD.

[OoohShiny]

yes, he should. In fact, I think that it is probably something that should be discussed prior to the proposal, just to be sure that she is onboard with the idea.

Was he trying to pass it off as an earth mined diamond?

I want one of those non-earth mined diamonds

 

[arkieb1]

Man made diamonds are going to drastically decrease in price in the next few years with production of them ramping up anyway, so clearly he is an idiot who didn't do enough research to find out a) that they are substantially overpriced at the moment and not worth the cost and b) she clearly wanted a real diamond anyway.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Man made diamonds are going to drastically decrease in price in the next few years with production of them ramping up anyway, so clearly he is an idiot who didn't do enough research to find out a) that they are substantially overpriced at the moment and not worth the cost and b) she clearly wanted a real diamond anyway.

I am not opposed to the idea of mmd because I don't have endless money, but I 1000% agree with what Arkie says...they are drastically overpriced at this time. I won't look at them until the mmd are less than 25% of the cost of an equivalent natural diamond.

 

[telephone89]

MMD are diamonds. They aren't simulants, they arent substitutes. I think it would be insane to call off an engagement because of this, and gives off crazy gold digger vibes IMO. I do think preferences should always be discussed, but I wouldn't call off an engagement over getting a round instead of a cushion, so I think this is equally as absurd.

 

[Wewechew]

@telephone89 I think it depends where the break down in communication was. Did he just not ask her and assumed she wouldn’t mind? Ok. Had they had a conversation about what she wanted and she said she wanted an earth mined diamond, and he did this? That’s when I would be upset. Not enough to call off the wedding though.

Although an ex did do something similar to me (bought me exactly what I said I didn’t want), and it was indicative to a much larger problem.

 

[chroman]

I want one of those non-earth mined diamonds

MMD = moon mined diamond?

 

[OoohShiny]

MMD = moon mined diamond?

Cool!

 

[dk168]

IMHO, although I happily mix real and made made diamonds and CS myself, I would expect to given a real diamond or CS as an engagement ring.

That's just my personal preference.

DK

 

[AV_]

But would it considered a lie if he didn't say anything?

Fraud

 

[madelise]

I just had the funniest thought that may come true in the future:

One day we will read a thread like this where someone feels deceived for having their partner purchase an earth mined diamond.

People will say the same thing about communication between the two being a problem, but instead of conversation about MMD being less-than and/or deceiving, it’ll be about ethical consumption/or the same deceit or fraud.

I never thought I’d be feeling so upset about gasoline cars or being super uptight about composting and washing/sorting recycling, but here I am. I think I’d currently be a bit upset if my husband purchased a gasoline driven car for me, and a small % of society is starting to feel this way.

There are definitely some flaws to this logic as use of clean energy vs. gasoline is different from MMD vs. earth-mined since reuse-reduce-recycle of already mined diamonds is less ethical consumption than the labor/energy behind MMD... but still. One day!

Just had to share because thinking of the future bewilders me

 

[Dancing Fire]

Had he kept the lab report the engagement would still be on. She may or may not know there are such a thing as a MMD till she read the report?.

 

[AV_]

@Dancing Fire It is possible to get away with fraud...

The way lab goods meet expectations makes them iredeemable to me. This is case in point.

 

[cmd2014]

Had he kept the lab report the engagement would still be on. She may or may not know there are such a thing as a MMD till she read the report?.

Yeah, maybe. But lying (even if it's lying by omission, which is still making efforts to deceive) would never be ok. Whether she found out now, or later. And marrying someone you cannot trust is a quick route to divorce and not something I would wish on anyone.

 

[elizat]

MMD are diamonds. They aren't simulants, they arent substitutes

This. They are real stones. I don't like the it's a fake stone position. It's chemically the same.

CZ or moissy is a whole different idea.

 

[GliderPoss]

Yeah I'm cool with MMD as long as it's clearly communicated as to exactly WHAT that is. I understand totally why she would be pissed off - it's the moral of it. No one should start a marriage with a lie...

 

[secretagentlaura]

I'd probably be more impressed that my husband found a lovely MMD for me rather than buying something from a random B&M shop, so ...

I guess I also feel that it's an over-reation because the proposal ring is an actual authentic diamond. My husband has never presented the diamond jewelry he's bought for me as "here's your e-ring/pendant/earrings with diamonds that were sourced from the depths of the earth", so it would strike me as bizarre as having to announce a diamond's lab origins as well.

 

[lyra]

Why wouldn't he keep the lab report?!! Resale value, lol. Actually, it is the resale value that makes me unsure of MMD, and realistically, it might not be well established in my lifetime. Might take a few decades, who knows. But I'm also a geology geek and prefer earth mined AND vintage only, so I'll never know I guess.

 

[deorwine]

Yeah, I'd rather have a MMD than an earth-mined one for various reasons (physics geek, ok) but I'd still consider calling off the engagement if my fiance had tried to pass off an MMD as a natural one, and that includes not saying anything about it, as the default asssumption when a guy gives you an engagement diamond and doesn't talk about its provenance is that it's come from the earth and that he's bought it.

I would feel similarly if he gave me a vintage diamond that came from his family and didn't say anything about it, because I would have assumed that he bought it and would feel blindsided and like I wasn't given all the information -- even though if he HAD told me it would be very meaningful to me to have a vintage diamond from his family (especially if this hypothetical were applied to my actual husband, as I adore his family).

Basically, either it would be deception or lack of communication. The first is a reason to break it off. Lack of communication, well, we can work with that, but I'd still be a little more wary.

(Also, lab diamonds ARE synthetics! Synthetic just means "man-made." They are not simulants.)

 

[kenny]

Had he kept the lab report the engagement would still be on. She may or may not know there are such a thing as a MMD till she read the report?.

Oh great.
I hope you're not suggesting that as long as she doesn't know it's not mined, then it's okay that she married a liar?

 

[Dancing Fire]

Oh great.
I hope you're not suggesting that as long as she doesn't know it's not mined, then it's okay that she married a liar?

Is he a liar if he didn't say anything?

 

[kenny]

Is he a liar if he didn't say anything?

At best it is deception about something very important.

Deception is not a good way to start off a marriage, unless you share Donald Trump's degrading attitude towards women.

 

[AprilBaby]

It’s still a diamond so he didn’t lie. Other than paperwork you can’t Tell the difference. It’s not a hill to die on for me.

 

[Elizabeth35]

A lie of omission is just as bad as a direct verbal lie.
Especially in the context of an engagement ring which has high symbolic and emotional meaning.

For example, if he had $50K in credit card debt that he didn’t tell her about—-a lie of omission. Who wouldn’t call that a serious lie?

She would spend the rest of the marriage wondering what else he was NOT telling her. Trust would be very difficult.

 

[Dancing Fire]

It’s still a diamond so he didn’t lie. Other than paperwork you can’t Tell the difference. It’s not a hill to die on for me.

Only to some people, not all.

 

[kenny]

Only to some people, not all.

True.
The values, morals, and ethics of many Americans have deteriorated recently.

The cancer is so widespread now that they've even been able to elect a pussy-grabbing hero, #45.

 

[PreRaphaelite]

If it were me, I’d be upset that I didn’t rate high enough in his esteem to deserve an antique diamond - now, before anyone lobs a holy hand grenade at me, hear me out....

My intendeds should *know me* well enough to know there’s no Ersatz anything (no fake marble, no hair dye, no pseudo-antiques, no imitation crab....) and frankly my taste should be really obvious to those close enough to claim to love me!

Any suitor who would expect me to consider MMD anything but a placeholder, clearly doesn’t know me. It would be a puzzling and disappointing choice.

Whenever a beloved has given me jewellery, they have always been flustered in the most adorable way, hoping it pleased me, and babbling sweetly that if I didn’t like it I could change it, etc., and if the guy in the OP’s anecdote didn’t stumble on his words, stammering and blushing, and really truly trying to please her, then he’s a cad.

And not the kind of CAD that PSers love to get!

 

[PreRaphaelite]

To clarify, if he didn’t know the woman well enough to know that an MMD would not please her, and he doesn’t love her enough to pay attention to her taste, then he doesn’t love her enough.

A shocking oversimplification, I know.

 

[AdaBeta27]

People seem so sure that the value of mined diamonds will continue to hold steady or rise, while that of MMDs fade to nothing. If anything, I predict that the availability of really great MMDs will reduce the value of mined diamonds or at least drastically curb the demand for them. I'm a baby boomer, the trailing edge, lol, but I'm very practical. I've owned many mined diamonds of various ages and makes, including 3 H&A super-ideals. And the mystique of them has totally faded. The younger people coming along behind me are even bigger skinflints.

All of PS is already quick to say that a "used" superideal diamond might only be only "worth" about 1/2 of what the original owner paid, when time to resell it. So let's say you pay $20k for something and you can only get $10K out it years later, vs. you paid only $10K for the same size and performance MMD and can only get a flat $0 out of it years later. Either eay, you have lost the same $10K. And it's realistic to say that the MMD would *not* be worth $0, so you would not even have lost $40k by buying MMD. Pay $8000 for a 1ct mined diamond, or $2450 for a 1ct that looks and performs 95% as good? Mined offers no special qualities to me in that case, either.

Unless given 2 equal performers with very close prices, I really can't see how mined diamonds are not going to lose when everyone can suddenly now find and afford a gorgeous MMD. The ONLY thing that's kept me out of selling off a couple mined diamonds and buying a larger MMD has been, until now, the poor cut of MMDs.

 

[PreRaphaelite]

No argument at all with resale value, but if he got her something that made her upset, then he got her the wrong thing. There are tons of people who would be thrilled with an MMD. She wasn’t.

Some people want Porsche, some want Jeep, some want Tesla, some want a bike or a skateboard. Whatever the beloved wants.... get it for them. At least a small one. And no matter what, I hope the next proposal has him kneeling, with a stammer and stumble and blush and sweat and tremble.....

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

i think its a lie if she beleaves its a minned diamond and he knows she thinks that and lets her beleave that

personally id be happy with a MMD if it was huge and eye perfect in every way but don't let be beleave its minned if its not

i know of much worse lies where a work mate was given a white sapphire and amethyst ER - she thought it was beautiful but it was completly unsuitable as an ER

and yes he turned out to be a lying toad and asked for his *$179 ring back when he called it off
a lucky race or for my friend

*my issue was not with the price so much as the lie by omission that they were white sapphires and not diamonds ewww they got so dirty by the next day even