Home The Official TTC Thread!

[lliang_chi]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Wow, this thread is HOPPIN' today!

Monkey, 9DPO go you!!! And a BFN probably doesn't mean a whole this early. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you, sweetie.

Ally, hope you get some action in anyway. All the OPKs, temps etc are predictors, so in this case, more is more. I know what you mean about the long cycles, I *totally* hear ya.

Marlie, Wow, I hope you guys brought back an Italian souvenir too! I got of HBC in Dec as well. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you. Sounds like you got some really good BDing in, so maybe you guys are just super lucky.

Dreamer, Thanks for your wise words. I sorta talked to him tonight, more on that below.

NEL, you and your DH sound like you have such a good relationship. I dunno how well J will respond to scandalous phone calls and text messages. We really didn't do that before and I think he's a bit too reserved to actually cut loose and have fun like that. Too funny that your DH is milking the TTC advantages. Go you on the frequent BDing. I think that's even a stretch for J, we're more of a once a week, if even type. God! I feel like I'm totally fulfilling that stereotype that married people have LESS sex. I also drink more water at work, so I just fill my water bottle at home and keep drinking.

Octavia, thanks for responding. It's really nice to hear it from an outside person. I think DH might be distracted with his mom (she's recovering from an accident) and his surgery. So in my head, I know that this is probably normal. But emotionally I feel like SCREAMING and crying and giving up. And LOL at the "Impregnate me NOW!"

Ally, is that fading in or out? And this might seem like a stupid question but how do you write on the Wondofo?

AMC, I hope your cycle times out for your wedding and cruise.

Lizzy, I'm SO SO happy you're getting another RE. The nurse sounded like she really heard you and that's wonderful. It's important to have a good vibe and let's face it RE#1 was just NOT jiving with you. Re: acupuncture for miscarriages. I do think will be able to help. My acupuncturist said that they can help stimulate/increase blood flow to make the uterine lining more "cooshy" for the fertilized egg to implant and get nourished. And it sounds like you have no problems getting pregnant, just staying pregnant.

AFM, spoke to DH today. Well not entirely. Just more of an announcement that we missed our chance to get pregnant this cycle. He said he was sorry and that he didn't know. And expressed in general that he was disappointed. But I guess I need to figure out what he wants. Like for all of our BD sessions I'm always the one that initiates sex, so I would like to know does he just not WANT sex or he's to uncomfortable or prudish or what. Also want to further the discussion to say we do have our hypothetical kid, are we *really* going to share parenting or is it going to be mainly me, and a little bit him (kind of how it is with our dog). So I have a lot to discuss and I think I'm still too emotionally charged to have this discussion right now. I don't want to sweep it under the rug, but I really think it'll be un-productive talking to him now. Oh and checking back I was also kinda blue end of my cycle last time, so maybe the general "defeated" feeling is cycle related? God I hope not.

~LC

 

[pancake]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Goodness, so much to catch up on in this thread! Sorry for my absence... we had a family tragedy over the weekend and I have been feeling fairly non-communicative

Lizzy - I am so glad that things are looking up for you and you are making some changes to your care team that make you feel more positive and proactive!

LC - How disappointing re missing your ovulation, but how FANTASTIC that your cycle was such a normal length! Just awesome! I think that sitting down and talking to your husband about how you feel will help make things clearer, maybe make him understand things better and make you resent him less. Good luck.

Ally - My brain is boggling at your OPKs. Is it coming or going? I know that many have commented that the salivary one must be confusing but maybe they are all as bad as each other!

NEL - That is a LOT of ovulation predicting that you are doing there! In some ways it must help to feel like you are doing absolutely everything you can, gives back a bit of control that biology (and stubborn ovaries) takes away.

Me... well, it really has been a very difficult week. I have actually stopped OPKing for the last 5 or 6 days so I may well have missed any ferns that I might have seen, but in any case have really been so far from being in the mood to BD that it seems all academic anyway. Getting to bed without crying would be a good start at the moment! Am feeling a little better today, shock of bad news wearing off I guess. On the more proactive side of things, our fertility specialist family friend had told me that if I didn't get AF by 6 weeks after coming off the pill, to sit down and have a chat with him. So we're going to do that on Friday night, as it's been 7 weeks now. Think I'm getting bloods done next week - presumably gonadotropins (LH, FSH), prolactin, oestradiol, ?androgens (although I have no signs of virilisation at this stage). I assume that they will show that my gonadotropins are still suppressed after coming off the pill, but who knows...? Guess it will be good to find out.

 

[KatyWI]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

So much activity!! I hope I can do justice to catching up with you all, but if I forget anyone I apologize in advance!!

LC - I do most of the initiating with my DH too, and even though we're trying to have a baby, he's kind of... well I don't want to say reluctant, but that's kind of what I mean. He's just not that into BDing lately (and by lately I mean a year or two, not since we've started trying.) I have just accepted that as a 30+ dude he's past his prime, and he doesn't hate sex, he's just tired and it's not his priority. We think about these things all the time because we're women, but I think we over-think it, too. I've talked his ear off about how I wish he would initiate more so I would feel wanted, but it just doesn't happen. But I know he loves me because of all the other amazing things he does, so I just try to move our sex life along as much as I feel comfortable doing. Good luck - oh, and when you're a momma, you WILL do 90% of the work - it just happens that way. Even the hyper-involved dad's I know don't actually do half of the parenting when kids are super young... but it seems that it's most important that they pick up the slack around the house so mom can tend to the baby. I know Joey will be a great dad, but since I'll be the primary food source and am a super light sleeper, I know there's no hope for me when we have a kid... but he is already amazing about keeping the house clean, so I know he'll be doing all the cooking/cleaning when I'm tending to a baybee. Wow, novel much?

NEL - I have the same problem you do, I drink plenty of water while at work, but on weekends I am so terrible at it! I hope that all your regular BDing (luckkyyyy!) pays off this cycle! I hate when the stupid OPKs don't work. I hope you did O! What's the verdict?

Lizzy - Your OB sounds amazing, and I am so excited that you have found a different RE. I hope they will meet your needs in a way that the current one clearly hasn't. As much as it sets things back, it will maybe be good to take a month off and just kick back, no stress... and you'll be well on your way to figuring things out! I can't believe it was going to be 7 weeks to see the chief RE... but at least he's around for consultation, that's comforting. I am so filled with hope for you!

sba - Sorry about the disagreement with your husband. I'm glad you have talked it out, but it is so hard, isn't it?! I feel like every time I get my period and am sad, someone I know announces a pregnancy they weren't even trying for. ARGH! Let yourself feel the jealous feelings, let it all out in a good cry, and then it will let you be happy for them, too Your time is coming!!! Pretty soon it will be you and you can put all the bad stuff behind you. And men just... don't get it. Seriously. DH thinks I'm nuts for crying after every unsuccessful cycle, and I try to tell him that while he just got used to the idea of being a dad, I've wanted to be a mom forever, and so I am ready for it to start NOW. As long as you guys can keep communicating, maybe he'll get where you're coming from.

monkey - Sorry about the - test, but it's sooo early!!! My fingers are super crossed that the BFPs just keep coming! I do the self-feel-up too, although I've never been caught And wouldn't you know, my boobs weren't sore at all when I got the +, so don't worry! Just try to hold out to test again til AF is due. It's hard though, trust me I know!!

ally - Yayyyy for darker OPK!! I've been trying not to worry about that over here, too, but I am annoyed with my stupid cheapie OPKs and considering spending more money I hope you had plenty of in the last few days to catch your window!!

marlie - I don't think I had a chance to welcome you yet - WELCOME! We're a crazy bunch If you've been BDing at least every other day, you didn't miss your chance even if you did O! Every single day is fun but not totally necessary, so try not to stress too much and enjoy the ride, so to speak

pancake - So sorry to hear about your tragedy. I hope you find peace and that your life can resume its normal pace soon enough. And it's great that you get to discuss things with a doc, maybe it will clear up a lot of questions. Hang in there, we're here for you!

amc and Ruby - good to have you here while you gear up. I lurked on this thread forever! What an incredible source of knowledge and community we have here!

AFM... Phew, the house is completely different!! It's amazing!! We removed and patched a laundry chute, painted the whole main living area (living, dining, hallway), replaced our dark wood doors with white 6 panel doors, replaced the dark wood trim with white colonial trim, refinished a table, recovered the chairs for that table, reorganized our bar area, my mother made drapes for our living room and bought us shades, and we got new bedroom furniture (dressers, still need a bed) at IKEA! And this all happened in 4-5 days!! I'll post pics once things are fully back in order!

I've been so busy I couldn't even stress about everything. Emotionally I'm okay, it was a very early loss so while I had plenty of crap to deal with, I'm mostly just ready to keep on going! I usually O around CD17-18, and today is CD16 but the cheapie OPK is givin' me NOTHING. I'm ready to go back to spending lots of money on my pee sticks, but I know it's not the pee sticks' fault! Hahaha. Either that line will get darker over the next few days, or it won't! Not sure if I maybe won't O this cycle, or if I already DID (experienced more CM than usual a few days ago). If I already did I *may* have had a BD session in time, and if I haven't yet we very well might hit the window, but in general I'm trying to go with the flow a bit more since my body might be a little out of whack. If I get AF without ever having pinpointed O (I wasn't religiously peeing in my cup til a few days ago, oops) then I'll at least have a starting point for the next cycle and I think I'll add temping to the mix. So... I keep on truckin'!

 

[monkeyprincess]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Katy, good to hear from you! Wow, you’ve been productive. I bet it feels great to have all of that done and to admire your work. Definitely nice to have something to keep your mind occupied. You’ve got a great attitude about this cycle, and I really hope your body goes back to normal quickly so you can try again (if it hasn’t already).

Pancake, I’m so sorry your family experienced a tragedy. Take care of yourself and don’t stress too much about TTC right now. Hopefully AF will show soon, but I’m glad you have a friend you can talk to about all of this.

LC, I think what you’re feeling is completely normal right now. We would all be disappointed if we missed our window. I hope you are able to find the right approach with your husband. I think you just need to be really honest with him and take it a step at a time. (I wouldn’t throw the BD and parenting questions into one discussion). My DH didn’t like the idea of having timed/planned BD’ing at first, but once he realized how sad it made me when I didn’t get pregnant the first couple of cycles, he stepped it up, and now understands that if we want to have a baby sooner rather than later, we need to make a concerted effort to step up our game that time of the month. I hoe your DH comes to that realization and steps it up too. So sorry your feeling blue. TTC brings up all sorts of emotions.

Lizzy, that is great news! What a blessing you were able to talk to that particular nurse. I’m glad you have a few vacations to look forward to. I bet it is just what you and your husband need right now.

Ally, it is looking good. I hope your body finally gets the memo! Good luck this month!

NEL, what’s the word? Do you think you ovulated? Good luck to you too this month!

AFM, 10dpo. Glad to hear that others didn’t necessarily have symptoms this early. My temp was a little down this morning (still above coverline), although I did take it earlier than usual, so I’m trying not to read too much into it. Just worried that it is following the same pattern as the past two months. It’s just getting harder and harder to imagine me actually getting pregnant. I’ll know either way in a few days.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

So funny that now my favorite part of the morning is having a cup of tea while catching up on the TTC thread. Here it goes...

MP, you're so close...the end of the 2WW is the hardest! After a couple of unsuccessful months, I'm sure you're a little discouraged, but this could be the cycle for you and I'll in LC's eagle pose for you!

Katy, holy productiveness!! You have been kicking butt!!! Those projects would be enough to keep me busy for months and you've knocked them out in a few days?? I am in total home project crazy mode, so I would absolutely love to see some pics! It sounds like you're doing well and I'll keep my fingers crossed that you Oed and got a BD session in, but if not, it's no big deal!

Pancake, I am so, so sorry you had a family tragedy. It sounds like it's been very hard on you and I'm heartbroken for you. Just take care of yourself, hon, and don't even worry about monitoring for now. I'm definitely thinking of you and your family

LC, I think all of your concerns are valid: if he's really into TTC, how the shared parenting will work,etc. I've definitely been initiating for the past couple of months as well and it's hard. D has a history of commitmentphobia, so I was really worried a few months ago (remember the emergency condom?). Do you feel like your DH is more "into" it each cycle that you're not pregnant? Sometimes I think our husbands assume getting pregnant will be easy and each cycle it doesn't happen, the more disappointed they become...and thus, the more they're willing to try.

The shared parenting is another fear of mine and I know most people hate it when you compare fur babies to real babies, but whatever, I know how D is with the dogs and I think it's a good indicator as to how it will be when we're parents to human children. I am the disciplinarian, the trainer, the giver of food, the coordinator of dog walkers, the medication administrator. Yes, D enjoys going to the dog park and prefers to go to the vet WITH me (though rarely on his own), but 90% of the day-to-day responsibilities fall on my shoulders. I've resolved that it will likely be that way with kids and have talked openly with him about resentment that may build. My friends who are parents say that it's a fact of parenting life...we love our husbands and it's not that they're bad dads, but I do think it's safe to assume you'll be doing the bulk of the work...at least in the beginning.

Lizzy, I'm sooooo glad you have a new RE!! I'm also glad the nurse was looking out for you--when I started reading your update I thought you were going to go with the chief and I thought "Crap, Lizzy can't wait 7 weeks, that's forever!" so I'm really glad you went with another option. It's also great that you're staying in the same practice so that if needed, your RE can consult the recommended chief. Yay for progress! And I'm so glad you can enjoy your vacation to VT and spend some time in Boston without worrying about TTC--enjoy the month off!

amc, sorry to hear about the bad cramps that are accompanying CD1. Are your cycles usually 29 days, but this time it was 28? A 28 day cycle sounds pretty good to me!

Ally, we both seem to be experiencing darkening, then fading Wonfos this month. I feel like we both got a batch of "trick" Wondfos...like trick candles or something. They get dark and just when we think we'll O, they fade. This line seems nice and dark, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that your O is right around the corner. Any progress today?

AFM, CD26 and I feel like my body is playing a practical joke on me. My temp did go back up to 98.2 today (from 97.1 yesterday), but 98.2 is not above the cover line...in fact, I had a temp of 98.2 eight other days in this cycle. My OPKs indicate nothing. I'm worn out from flirting with my husband every single day in an effort to lure him into bed. Last night we actually fell asleep while BDing (and it took more effort than usual to BD). We did BD this morning, but it lost its allure and now we're both tired. D told me that he couldn't keep up with my pace and that he needed a break. I agree. So I'm hoping that I already Oed and my bases are covered, but if I haven't, then that's just too bad. I'm taking the rest of the week off!

 

[marlie]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Hi all...
Thanks again for all the warm welcome messages! So nice to "meet" all of you!

sba/ally ally...so exciting that your OPK's are getting close. fingers are crossed that you get a solid positive soon!

Lizzyann...i've been following your story and am sending you a ton of good luck vibes. i think you are off to a great start with that new OB and having a month off from TTC is probably a great idea for both of you to clear your heads and reconnect (and have a few guilt free cocktails!!).

Lliang_chi...Sorry about the continued issues with DH and BD. I know I'm just a newbie but once we started trying, DH thought that every time I wanted some, it was just about making a baby. I have to constantly remind him now that we used to do this before trying for a baby and it's the same thing! I try to un-science-it but it's on both of our minds so who am I kidding. In any case, just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone.

Monkey...Fingers are crossed! So close to finding out and so exciting!!

Pancake...Very sorry to hear about your family tragedy. You and your family are in my thoughts.

Katy...Fingers are crossed that you O'd early and got that BD in the window!

NEL...I hear ya on being exhausted! Who knew this trying thing could be so tiring! Enjoy the rest of your restful week!

AFM...still no on my OPK test this AM. I'm thinking I missed it at this point. I think the time change either delayed it or made it come early and somehow I missed the surge. I thought I felt ovulation pains last Sunday (which would have been CD14...I'm almost always 17-19) and I started OPK's that day but maybe I was too late? I can't decide if I should keep testing or what. It's a waste of $$ if I've missed the surge but I keep being afraid that i didn't and it's just super delayed. Today is CD23. Ugh. Not very hopeful for this month but I guess you never know!

 

[amc80]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

amc, sorry to hear about the bad cramps that are accompanying CD1. Are your cycles usually 29 days, but this time it was 28? A 28 day cycle sounds pretty good to me!

Yep, normally 29. Well, I should say lately they have been 29 and probably average 29. I've had a 27 and have had a 34 though. That month with the 34 day cycle was scary, haha. Now that I'm all old and engaged though it probably wouldn't be so bad

So I know when I posted my OPK pics a few of you asked what my tests look like earlier in my cycle. Here is my CD2 pic-

 

[Dreamer_D]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

hared parenting It can happen. We share parenting and it is 50/50, but truly one of the only relationship I know like that. The best fathers I know do maybe 40% in other relationships. But start setting the stage now with your dogs -- it is a good dry run. You need to let you husband take some responsibility. That is part of the issue in many marriages when it comes to housework and child care. That and men thinking it is the woman's responsiblity. Go dip your toes in the newborn thread if you want to see the trouble that can result from not *making* shared parenting/housework/dogcare a priority well before you have kids. Dashed expectations about contributions is the main reason that many/most marriages have a sever dip in happiness when baby is born. I do think you can avoid it. You need to basically say, "Nope, not doing it, now it is your job!" and leave the house It builds their confidence and makes men feel capable. Then lavish with thanks and praise when they are done. Eventually, men will start to see the perks of the acts. And if not, then at least will do it because they have to, because it is just part of the marriage. Before kids, get the dog care and the house work equalized. Better to deal with it now than after the kid comes. There is indeed a period if you are BFing when you are the only one who can do the majority of the care, but the husband can do other things. And once weaned, anyone can care for the kid. My point is, you do not have to fall into traditional gender roles if you do not want to, but it takes work in your marriage to rewrite the rules from the norms.

 

[NovemberBride]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

hared parenting It can happen. We share parenting and it is 50/50, but truly one of the only relationship I know like that. The best fathers I know do maybe 40% in other relationships. But start setting the stage now with your dogs -- it is a good dry run. You need to let you husband take some responsibility. That is part of the issue in many marriages when it comes to housework and child care. That and men thinking it is the woman's responsiblity. Go dip your toes in the newborn thread if you want to see the trouble that can result from not *making* shared parenting/housework/dogcare a priority well before you have kids. Dashed expectations about contributions is the main reason that many/most marriages have a sever dip in happiness when baby is born. I do think you can avoid it. You need to basically say, "Nope, not doing it, now it is your job!" and leave the house It builds their confidence and makes men feel capable. Then lavish with thanks and praise when they are done. Eventually, men will start to see the perks of the acts. And if not, then at least will do it because they have to, because it is just part of the marriage. Before kids, get the dog care and the house work equalized. Better to deal with it now than after the kid comes. There is indeed a period if you are BFing when you are the only one who can do the majority of the care, but the husband can do other things. And once weaned, anyone can care for the kid. My point is, you do not have to fall into traditional gender roles if you do not want to, but it takes work in your marriage to rewrite the rules from the norms.

Ditto to DD. Ladies, do not just accept that you have to do the majority or all of the parenting before you are even preggo. It is 2011 and that is just so depressing. DH and I share parenting 50/50 (ok, if I am honest it is more like 60/40 him) which is more than fair since we both work out of the home and I work longer hours at this point in my career. Yes, when DD was a newborn I was the one to get up a lot at night because I was bfing, but other than that it has always been equal. For example - My DH gets up with my DD every single morning. I do not have to be at work until later than he does, so he gets her up, feeds her breakfast, dresses her for daycare and then wakes me up when he is leaving. He is a man's man, had no sisters, loves sports and has an MBA in Finance, yet is perfectly capable of changing diapers, dressing a little girl and making her food. Your DHs are as well, you just have to make it not an option. As I always tell my DH, law school did not prepare me any more for caring for a newborn than business school did you - point being that he is equally as capable and responsible for the parenting as I am. I honestly have no idea how moms that do it all themselves survive, especially the ones who work out of the home. Even if not for yourselves, do it for your kids so that they will have a great relationship with their dad and have a good example for when they grow up to be parents themselves.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

hared parenting It can happen. We share parenting and it is 50/50, but truly one of the only relationship I know like that. The best fathers I know do maybe 40% in other relationships. But start setting the stage now with your dogs -- it is a good dry run. You need to let you husband take some responsibility. That is part of the issue in many marriages when it comes to housework and child care. That and men thinking it is the woman's responsiblity. Go dip your toes in the newborn thread if you want to see the trouble that can result from not *making* shared parenting/housework/dogcare a priority well before you have kids. Dashed expectations about contributions is the main reason that many/most marriages have a sever dip in happiness when baby is born. I do think you can avoid it. You need to basically say, "Nope, not doing it, now it is your job!" and leave the house It builds their confidence and makes men feel capable. Then lavish with thanks and praise when they are done. Eventually, men will start to see the perks of the acts. And if not, then at least will do it because they have to, because it is just part of the marriage. Before kids, get the dog care and the house work equalized. Better to deal with it now than after the kid comes. There is indeed a period if you are BFing when you are the only one who can do the majority of the care, but the husband can do other things. And once weaned, anyone can care for the kid. My point is, you do not have to fall into traditional gender roles if you do not want to, but it takes work in your marriage to rewrite the rules from the norms.

Ditto to DD. Ladies, do not just accept that you have to do the majority or all of the parenting before you are even preggo. It is 2011 and that is just so depressing. DH and I share parenting 50/50 (ok, if I am honest it is more like 60/40 him) which is more than fair since we both work out of the home and I work longer hours at this point in my career. Yes, when DD was a newborn I was the one to get up a lot at night because I was bfing, but other than that it has always been equal. For example - My DH gets up with my DD every single morning. I do not have to be at work until later than he does, so he gets her up, feeds her breakfast, dresses her for daycare and then wakes me up when he is leaving. He is a man's man, had no sisters, loves sports and has an MBA in Finance, yet is perfectly capable of changing diapers, dressing a little girl and making her food. Your DHs are as well, you just have to make it not an option. As I always tell my DH, law school did not prepare me any more for caring for a newborn than business school did you - point being that he is equally as capable and responsible for the parenting as I am. I honestly have no idea how moms that do it all themselves survive, especially the ones who work out of the home. Even if not for yourselves, do it for your kids so that they will have a great relationship with their dad and have a good example for when they grow up to be parents themselves.

NB our marriages sound very similar I like your line about how law school did not prepare you to be a mom any more than business school prepared him! haha Love it. And the bolded is a really good point. It is not a punishment for a father to look after his child (though it feels that way sometimes I am sure). It is a gift for him to have a relationship with his child that is so much closer and more special than the vast majority of fathers' relationships.

There is nothing wrong with a traditional division of labour in my opinion, as long as both people in the couple feel it is fair and equitable. If a woman works in the home raising the kids and the man works out of the home, that is equitable. But when both parents work, I cannot see any good excuse for the man not to carry an equal load at home.

 

[lliang_chi]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Wow, thanks everyone for weighing in on the equal parenting.We all realize the BFing part is strictly Mom. But everything else once the boobs are taken out of the picture can and should be split more evenly (diapers, dressing, watching, burping, cleaning, laundry). E.g. if Mom has baby attached to her chest, Dad cooks/cleans/does laundry/etc. That's the kind of stuff I'm expecting him to step up for. Then when Imaginary Child gets older, feeding, washing, dressing etc to be done equally.

Now, to have this conversation with DH is an entirely different thing... I have since made an Excel sheet of all the chores and tasks House, Dog and Car related. Then in my head marked what I do, what he does, what doesn't get done, what we do together, and what gets done by whomever as needed. I'm inspired now to sit down with him and ask him to fill out what he does now and doesn't mind, what he does now and doesn't want to, what he thinks he can sign up for. Maybe this can help balance out my "one-sided-ness" feeling I'm having. Plus it'll help get him into a habit of doing said chores, so the shared/equal parenting thing can hopefully work.

Heading out of work now. I'll get to responses tonight but wanted to give a shout out to Pancake.

Pancake, I'm very sorry to hear about your family tragedy. I hope you have someone you can talk to to help you sort out your emotions. Remember we can be very strong individuals, but don't be shy to ask for help. Will be thinking about you and your family.

~LC

 

[amc80]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

@lliang_chi

The "imaginary child" reference almost made me spit out my oatmeal. Hahaha.

I have a lot of the same issues you do. My fiance and I don't live together yet but he spends probably 5 nights a week at my place. He will help pick up every now and then and will do stuff if asked...but that's where it ends. I feel like it's my place and he shouldn't have to clean my place, but then again he is spending most of his time there. Lately it's just been getting to me though...we have a litter of english bulldog puppies and they are a lot of work (they are at my house). They are 5 weeks today, so they are easier, but the first three weeks or so was hell. I didn't get more than 15 minutes of sleep at a time. I am a ridiculously light sleeper, so of course I would be the one to hear them and get up. It was sort of a a view into our future with kids. I told him that when we have a baby I will tape a baby monitor to his head and crank the volume.

The other issue is meals. I enjoy cooking. I hate dishes. Some how I get stuck doing both. His idea of helping is to put the dishes in the sink. I finally told him that I wasn't territorial about the dishwasher and that he is more than welcome to load it. One thing we have already decided though is he will be in charge of all laundry. He is very particular about it...as in he has 4 separate sorting categories. Who does that? Anyway, that will be his area. And if it means I have to do the dishes and cook, that's fine...because God knows I hate doing laundry.

 

[PumpkinPie]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

I'm sorry that I disappeared from this thread ladies -I was just finding the whole process too stressful and needed some distance.

I have another appointment with the endo next month BUT it's going to have a different tone because I just got my BFP Must have been that honeymoon trip (3 years after the wedding) last month that did it. I am still totally in shock and hoping that I can keep from telling my husband until I have time to make a little onesie with 'Made in Holland' printed on it. I turn 30 this weekend so will give it to him as a present!

Good luck to all!

 

[Loves2Laugh]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

I just poped in here when I saw PP had posted and wanted to say CONGRATS!! That's awesome and I love the idea how you're going to tell your hubby! I hope you can hold out!

 

[curiousaboutdiamonds]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

SBA: Yay! I hope you got that positive and/or smiley face Hope you're on you way to O-town by now. Get some more BD'ing in!!

AMC: I wish I had your cycles and all those positive OPKs!!

Lizzy: I'm glad you can put this cycle behind you and that you can begin to move forward. for such a helpful nurse! Your new RE sounds like just the right person for you. Plus, you can always have the chief consult if necessary. A week and a half will be here soon enough! And I think the break will be great for you, and great timing too, with the vacation and wedding. Enjoy this time with your DH. Who knows, maybe all the relaxation will be just the boost you need! Anyways, I'm just so happy you're getting over all the nonsense you've had to deal with these last few cycles.

LC: The wondfos are still fading in. I'm still waiting for a positive As for writing on them, I wait till they're dry and use a fine tip sharpie. I know, a little too obsessed I think you've got a great plan for your discussion with your DH. At the least, he also felt disappointment about missing this cycle. My DH is a great husband and father, but I do about 60% of the parenting because I work from home and my job is more flexible. It was extremely difficult at the beginning when DD was a newborn because I was getting up and feeding her, pumping, playing with her, putting her down for naps, and working from home whereas my DH did the laundry, prepared meals, and did the cleaning. Somehow, he thought that by doing all the housework stuff that he was helping me, but he didn't realize that it was causing more harm until I told him. I felt like he wasn't helping me with our daughter, that he wasn't being a parent and that I had to shoulder all of our daughter's care. It did get easier when I exclusively pumped and DD slept through the night (about 4.5 months). Now DH does the nighttime routine and gets up with her on Saturdays so I can sleep (Thanks Lizzy!!!). So definitely have a discussion with him now so that you guys are on the same page.

Pancake: I am so sorry to hear about your family tragedy. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your loved ones. That's great that you have a family friend you can turn to. I hope things get better for you! And yes, all these darm OPKs seem to be making it more complicated instead of making it easier for us! I'm still waiting for a positive.

Katy: That is quite the home improvement you've got going on there! The work that you've done sound awesome! Can't wait to see pics! And I love your attitude! Don't count yourself out yet. You could just have a delay O, and I got pregnant with O at CD20 with DD, so anything can happen

Monkey: Only.a.few.more.days! I'm doing LC's eagle pose for you too! I hope my body got the memo that it needs to O soon! I'm starting to run out of OPKs and patience! Haha.

NEL: Wow, 98.2 is pretty high. What is your coverline temp? Is that the same as last cycle? My coverline tends to stay in the 97.5 range, and post-O temps about 98.2ish. I can completely relate to the BD tiredness. I told DH we're having a BD marathon this week and it's only Tuesday and I'm tired. Haha. I hope you're on your way to the TWW!! These darn wondfos are just mean and tricky! And they are getting to be too addicting. I want to just give them up but I can't. Darn them for being so cheap!

Marlie: Have you tried the wondfos? You can buy them on Amazon for really cheap. I think a 50 pack for $10. Like I told Katy, don't count yourself out yet! I'm on CD25 and I'm going batty.

Dreamer and NB: Completely agree with you ladies. Well said!

Pumpkin: WOW! CONGRATS! Wishing you a happy and health 9 months!

AFM: Nothing. I mean absolutely nothing. Oh wait, I do have to share that I am almost out of OPKs so I ordered a 50 pack of wondfos. I think this wondfo addiction is getting out of hand Hopefully, this will signal my body to give me a positive tonight so that the newly-ordered wondfos will not be necessary.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

In terms of how childcare responsibilities are split, I think it really depends on if I decide to be a SAHM or not. I know my husband is capable of caring for a child (though I do think I'd be slightly better at caring for a newborn beyond just bfing). If I decide to keep working, it might be more 60/40 because his job is more demanding and despite me having a good career and making a great salary, he's still kicking my butt in that regard. If I'm a SAHM, then obviously the scales will tip much more. In all honesty, my biggest fear is being one of those women who says "you're doing it all wrong!" when DH tries to change a diaper or something, so the more involved D is with caring for the child, the better it will be for both of us.

PP, a HUGE congrats to you!!! And what an awesome birthday gift for you, my dear! LC and I were both hoping for the same thing for our birthdays last month, but hopefully we're both right behind you!

AFM--I had to log in tonight to share a funny story with you. First, I have to admit that I'm addicted to peeing on things. One day I'll be pregnant and I fear what I will do at that point. I hope I don't start peeing on random things out of habit.

I didn't get a postive OPK on my Wonfo this morning so I said "F it, I'm done getting negatives, I'm not testing any more today". But then I was crampy all afternoon and decided to test when I got home. So I peed on a Wonfo and immediately the test line got dark, so I knew I crossed over to the "this is definitely a positive" territory. Like an idiot, I dumped my cup of pee so I could flush and didn't wait an additional 5 second so I could see the test line get dark. I immediately wanted to pee on the digital, so I started drinking water like a lunatic.

After an hour of drinking and waiting, I finally had to pee again. As I was peeing on my digital OPK, I dropped it in the toilet!! UUUUGGH! Naturally, I got an error message. At this point, if I drink water like a lunatic again, my pee is going to be too diluted to read anything, anyway.

I was REALLY looking forward to taking a few days off from BDing, but now I really want to BD tomorrow. I'm leaving with a pic of this morning's Wonfo compared to this evening's.

 

[curiousaboutdiamonds]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

NEL, that is too funny. Sorry you dropped it though. Ugh. That magical smile would've been on there. And YAY for a positive! Theres no doubt. Hmmmm I wonder if I'll get a positive tonight too. I've also been feeling crampy and bloated this afternoon. And you should BD tonight! Make it spontaneous and fun for DH!

 

[blackberry16]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

MP: Don't worry too much just yet. Remember that I was like 25 dpo before I got my BFP.

 

[blackberry16]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

I'm sorry that I disappeared from this thread ladies -I was just finding the whole process too stressful and needed some distance.

I have another appointment with the endo next month BUT it's going to have a different tone because I just got my BFP Must have been that honeymoon trip (3 years after the wedding) last month that did it. I am still totally in shock and hoping that I can keep from telling my husband until I have time to make a little onesie with 'Made in Holland' printed on it. I turn 30 this weekend so will give it to him as a present!

Good luck to all!

Congrats Pumpkin! I am so excited for you! Your onesie idea is so cute!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Ally, I hope you do get a positive tonight. And I don't think I have it in my to BD tonight (we BDed this morning). I promised D we could take a few days off because I'd been pursuing him pretty heavily lately and haven't given him a day off in awhile. I will push for one last BD session tomorrow, though.

I just took a digi and got a negative, but my urine was clear (from me frantically drinking water) and I'm not counting it. I forgot to answer your previous question about my post-O temps: they're usually in the high 98s, low 99s. I'm interested to see if I get another temp drop tomorrow.

Good luck with tonight's test!

 

[KatyWI]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Holy cow, PP, congrats!!!!

Wishing you a super sticky bean!!!!!!

 

[monkeyprincess]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Congrats PP! I can't remember how long you've been trying, but I think it i has been awhile, right? You must be thrilled! So exciting to have a batch of BFPs.

And NEL, yay for a positive OPK! And talk about any anti-digital OPK conspiracy That's great you BD'd this morning, and if you can seduce your hubby tomorrow, it will be even better! Good luck!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

YAY Pumpkin, I am so happy for you!!

 

[lucy.lucy.80]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

PP- huge congrats!!

NEL- hope you dont mind if i chime in totally understand your concern! before DH and I had our daughter I was the primary person who took care of our dog. When we started TTC, we discussed the importance of our roles as parents must be 50/50 not just for our relationship, but for the relationship with our children too. Since our daughter was born last August, he has been very involved from day 1 with diaper changing, feeding, taking her to the park, etc and most importantly I do not let him slack! He still wont wear the baby bjorn backpack outside the house though! Im now a SAHM and my attitude is i work just like my husband- taking care of the house,laundry,cooking,etc and i deserve a break too. Anyway my point is by bringing your concerns up now and working through them, will most likely save you a lot of headaches later! Wish you tons of luck ttc!!!

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

YAY PUMPKIN!!!!! Tons of sticky dust!!!!

 

[PumpkinPie]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Thanks for all the congratulations ladies

I woke up this morning afraid it was a mistake but a second test (of a different cheapy kind) gave me another BFP moments ago. I'm terrified (didn't sleep much last night!) and so excited it feels like I might explode. I haven't told anyone in real life yet so I hope I can last another couple of days.

We tried for 8 months in the face of no ovulation signs from OPKs, wonky bloodwork (for me) and a diagnosis of PCOS that resulted in me taking thyroid meds. I am so hoping that this sticks!

 

[janinegirly]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Interesting discussions on shared parenting! We never had an in depth discussion specific to this beforehand but DH is pretty hands on in general and I never had any real concerns. However I always expected I would be the primary parent - part of it was the way I was brought up as well. I DO agree that SAHM and Working Moms should have different balances though, a working mom cannot work, commute, cook, clean take care of child AND be ready to DTD on command with cute lingerie,etc (being a bit sarcastic here). So I agree DH's need to step up but I don't necessarily think it has to 50/50 with the children. I do believe the mother is the primary care giver and while I expect DH to help a good deal with diapers, changing clothes, baths etc. I don't expect this to be 50/50. To me not everything is perfectly equitable even if it is in the breadwinning aspect - afterall he does 90% of the house maintenance (yard work, painting, fixing things, a good portion of the cooking) and I want no part of that!

Everytime I pop in here there's a new BFP which is exciting..congrats Pumpkin!!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

PP, woohoo for the second BFP!! I'm so excited for you knowing how much you've been through to get here! I'm sending you super sticky dust!

AFM--I got a smiley on my digital last night and another positive this morning. My temps are still up, so I think tomorrow is O day. I really want to BD today and tomorrow, but D was grumpy this morning when he felt I was demanding his...essence (stretching for euphamisms here). A BD session tomorrow might be as good as it gets for me, which is a bummer.

 

[janinegirly]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

PP, woohoo for the second BFP!! I'm so excited for you knowing how much you've been through to get here! I'm sending you super sticky dust!

AFM--I got a smiley on my digital last night and another positive this morning. My temps are still up, so I think tomorrow is O day. I really want to BD today and tomorrow, but D was grumpy this morning when he felt I was demanding his...essence (stretching for euphamisms here). A BD session tomorrow might be as good as it gets for me, which is a bummer.

YAY NEL, I think you did alot better than "good" - seriously! And grumpy DH's mean you are a true TTC'er now! The romance goes out the window round 1! I remember propositioning DH at 6am on a rainy/wintery Tuesday, boy you should have seen the look. I quickly gave up.

 

[lliang_chi]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Jani, you need to keep popping in then!!!

Big congrats Pumpkin!!! I'm sending you sticky bean dust for you and your DH. Did you tell him yet? How was the belated honeymoon trip? Holland how lovely!!! I know you've been struggling with weird cycles etc, so I'm hoping this BFP stays.

Pancake, still thinking about you, dear. I'm glad you have a friend to talk to about TTC, but do take sometime for yourself to just recover. Thoughts & prayers to you and your family.

Katy, You've been busy, sista! Sounds like your house is in awesome shape. I still haven't posted pictures of the officery but I'll do that today hopefully. I totally know what you mean about wishing you didn't always have to initiate sex would go a long way to help one feel more desirable. I totally feel that way too. I'm tempted to point blank ask DH if he still finds me attractive because I'm kinda not getting that impression from the lack of interest. Sounds like you have a great attitude with this cycle. And you're right there is a very good chance you didn't/won't O this cycle.

Monkey, Eagle pose for you! Keep us posted. Have you been perusing job postings?

NEL, thanks for the viewpoint of DH just not understanding it's difficult to get pregnant. If that's the case then we'll see. Hope you guys get your BD session in. Seems like you guys got some serious action in the past few days, so taking a day off isn't too bad. Woo hoo on the yesterday and today. I hope your DH's mood cheers up.

Marlie, I dunno if the CBEs work for me. I got dark Wondofos, but negative CBEs. I'm going to try Wondofos earlier in my cycle. I think I started CD 21, so maybe I just caught the LH surge late. I'm hpoing you get a + soon.

AMC, OMG English bulldog puppies? You need to post pictures. So cute!!! Hm, I hear you on the housework (dishes and laundry). DH does the dinner dishes, but anything after he loads the dishwasher is no longer his responsibility.

Ally, Wow, those wondofos are crazy then if it's *still* fading in! I hope you get a + soon. Thanks for the tip with the sharpie. I'll pick one up before my next cycle. Sounds like you have great communication with your DH and now he helps so much with DD. Fantastic on the lazy Saturday AMs. You totally deserve it!

Lizzy, when do you leave for vacation? Are you taking your DS? Hope you can enjoy yourself and have a good time. Hugs, friend. Your new RE appt will come quickly.

AFM: Yesterday was another acupuncture appt. I told the acupuncturist that this will be my 2nd shortest cycle. He repeated the same things that the owner of the studio did the last time I went. Other than that, not much going on. In my LP, not going to test at all since we didn't BD at all this cycle. This weekend we're going to a wedding in WI, by the big lakes there. Should be pretty.

~LC