The Official TTC Thread!

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 5/14/2009 5:25:15 PM
Author: InLuv101

Date: 5/14/2009 5:19:53 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie
InLuv I hope you are right... now how in the world could you have a suspicion that makes you feel so positive after feelig so poopy earlier? Hmmm... this is a mystery like the whole ''Who is festy'' mystery!

The reason I felt so poopy earlier is because DH & I are going to have to take a TTC break if I''m not KTFU this cycle because of a possible lay off in my future. It wasn''t because I felt like I was out this cycle.

Sorry, I read what I wrote and realized it could have sounded negative. I didn''t mean that like "How in the world, you are strange!" but rather like, "Hmmmmm... how in the world, what would have made her think that?"

I had also forgotten about the reason you were taking a break, sorry! I sure hope you are right though!!

 

[Sha]

Date: 5/14/2009 3:56:26 PM
Author: InLuv101
So...I have a tiny *suspicion* that I *may* be KTFU (says the woman who thinks she is KTFU every cycle!). Please don't get your hopes up though, (I'm not), I could be waaaay off base. I have a reason for thinking that this may be it, but I want to wait until I test to share what that reason is/was (mostly so I don't sound like a delusional nut

). I am 10 DPO today and will be testing on the morning of 14DPO (Monday) if AFF doesn't show. I'll keep you posted!

Please cross your fingers for me ladies

Oooo.....oooo.....ooooo!!

Monday is soooo far away!!!

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Hmm... sounds like something good, InLuv. As always, hoping and praying for you and your hubby.

***
Thanks for all the comments and warm thoughts, girls. It means a lot to me. Truly and really. Today's a new day.

I doubt I'll be gone for long (heck, today I popped in a couple times to see what good news I could find here on others' success), but we just need time to regroup and regather ourselves again. It's so hard when you truly *believe* you're growing a miracle within, carrying a dream, only to find that dream's yet to be. We don't doubt that it will come, it's just more of a struggle at certain times than at others.

I called the Dr. office today (they like me to call at the beginning of each new cycle) and we talked about my anxiety and stuff, and they suggested that Paul and I take a more 'care-free' approach this cycle. By 'care-free,' they mean for me to not focus on all things TTC all the time, to just enjoy my time with Paul instead of wondering if each time we baby dance we're creating a life, and to plan more fun stuff that's just the two of us, which is something Paul suggested, too. Sounds like a good plan. I go by tomorrow to get the SA referral and happily, Paul will be able to complete the task here with me, and then we can take it to the place. So, that's much more up our alley (there is no way he'd do anything like that in a porno room. just no way). Any time before our 6/2 appointment is fine for the SA to be done, so that makes it pretty low key, which we both like. They said at the next visit, they'll do another ultrasound, and possibly discuss the need for an HSG. We're thinking we're willing to do that procedure (although I am worried about pain I've heard that can be involved), as the Dr. office would be doing it themselves and I feel very comfortable with the staff there. If I were to have an HSG, it would be at the start of the NEXT cycle, which I'm again praying won't exist. They said we have 5-6 cycles on Clomid with them, then we'd be referred to an RE, and if we wanted to just keep trying naturally for a while before going that route, that's fine, too.

I think the initial moment of letting go of the dream each cycle just becomes more intense for me and I didn't mean that we were literally throwing in the towel on the idea of conceiving, merely that we're emotionally at a point where we need to have this take a back seat for a while, so we can just be *us* again. Not that we aren't still us, but anyone who's gone through this for more than 6 months knows the feelings, stresses, and constant thoughts the process can push on you.

As for Peony's questions... I feel like out of respect of everyone and all the different moral compasses that are reflected on this thread, I'll keep it short: we believe that life begins at conception and from the time that sperm and egg meet forward, there is a child growing. IUI and IVF can at times lead to more babies than can be successfully carried to term being conceived, and therefore, decisions have to be made regarding those children. That is not a position Paul and I want to be put in, as it would shatter our hearts. So, we opt not to go down that road. Every baby conceived is a gift from God, so we totally don't think that people "shouldn't" conceive just because they have a hard time getting pregnant. No way. (I think you had asked that?)

(However, I was talking to a friend today about this, and she said that with IUI, you can choose to only do the IUI when there are only 1 or 2 follicles that appear to be ready, and while that sometimes lengthens the process and has a lot of let down when you have to wait for another cycle, it also creates something that possibly my husband and I could be on board with, if it came to that. This, would be very far down the road, though.)

As for the Clomid, we don't think there is any need to increase the dose, as the standard 50mg has been successful in creating an earlier ovulation for me. Plus, as you increasethe dose, the side effects also increase, as well as the chances of multiples (which we're more and more open to these days; I want to be a mommy, be it to one or two babies... I just ache for mommyhood).

I hope that answers your questions, Peony.

We keep the faith that one day soon all this will be nothing but a foggy memory of the days before our baby found its way into our arns.

I won't be gone long, I'm sure.... and I'll be lurking and hoping only the best for my dear friends here. Don't worry about me, I'm on the up swing already.

I wanted to answer Peony's questions before I forgot, though.

Thank you again for the thoughts and prayers... you're all so dear.

 

[nycbkgirl]

fisher-
im so glad u didnt give up on us here and glad to hear from u....
wanted to chime in on iui and ivf....unfortunatley with iui u cant be sure u just have 1 or 2 follicles...they cant control that and most likely a woman with no infertility issues (known of) will create more than 1 or 2 follicles bc of the stimulation process of the injections...i would def suggest ivf versus iui bc there u can definitley just implant only 1 embryo...with ivf u can basically control that bc of the choice u have of how many embryos to implant...for example i had 4 good embryos and i chose to implant 2 and they both stuck

...but my doc did suggest only putting 1 (bc of my young age) but he would not let me put more than 2 back....(so my other 2 are now frozen embies)....thats just info im not pushing u to go that direction but im glad to here u are not giving up...if there is an issue with SA there are natural ways to try to get it to improve (should ask doc about dh taking supplements and certain vitamins etc)....in any case...we love u here and wish u all the best and i know in my heart this will happen for u!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 5/14/2009 9:04:56 PM
Author: nycbkgirl
fisher-
im so glad u didnt give up on us here and glad to hear from u....
wanted to chime in on iui and ivf....unfortunatley with iui u cant be sure u just have 1 or 2 follicles...they cant control that and most likely a woman with no infertility issues (known of) will create more than 1 or 2 follicles bc of the stimulation process of the injections...i would def suggest ivf versus iui bc there u can definitley just implant only 1 embryo...with ivf u can basically control that bc of the choice u have of how many embryos to implant...for example i had 4 good embryos and i chose to implant 2 and they both stuck

...but my doc did suggest only putting 1 (bc of my young age) but he would not let me put more than 2 back....(so my other 2 are now frozen embies)....thats just info im not pushing u to go that direction but im glad to here u are not giving up...if there is an issue with SA there are natural ways to try to get it to improve (should ask doc about dh taking supplements and certain vitamins etc)....in any case...we love u here and wish u all the best and i know in my heart this will happen for u!

This aspect of IVF crossed my mind too when I read Fishers post, but I suspect that some people, perhaps Fisher included, would not be comfortable creating embryos that would never be used, or that would be stored indefinitely. It seems there are always tough decisions to make in this realm!

Fisher I think that you will be successful using clomid, this is only the start of your 3rd cycle and as we all know it takes a little while to get preggo even when everything is perfect! I am thinking positive thoughts for you this month.

 

[cara]

Fisher, so glad you posted and I really agree that stepping back and enjoying your husband and aiming for a more carefree cycle will help your frame of mind. And the scientist in me has a lot of hope for your success without additional interventions, with only two cycles of clomid under your belt (and one of those illness-mared).

I also really respect that you and your husband are thinking about how to conceive in a way consistent with your beliefs. Even people that have a different belief than you about the beginning of life can have a really hard time when confronted with extra embryos from IVF or a pregnancy with unsafe number of fetuses, especially when they have devoted so much of themselves to getting pregnant.

Just wanted to point out that IUI means only intra-uterine-insemination: injecting the washed sperm directly in the uterus. While IUI results in more sperm available for fertilization, the number of embryos produced is still limited by the number of eggs released. IUI can be combined with the women's natural ovulation, with clomid, or with injectable drugs that are stronger ovulation-stimulators. It is this last class of drugs that produces the higher-order multiples most frequently. Your friend is right that, when using injectables with IUI, they will usually monitor a woman's ovaries to see how many egg follicles are developing (and skip the IUI if too many eggs are likely) but nycbkgirl is right that that is an imperfect science. But if the goal is to avoid conceiving too many babies for one pregnancy, then the important thing is to avoid the injectable ovulation stimulators, not necessarily avoid IUI.

Similarly with IVF, it would be important to limit the number of eggs you mix with sperm. If you only mix one egg with sperm, this usually makes one or zero embryos. (IVF embryos are somewhat more likely than normal ones to split into twins, so two babies is a possible but rare outcome). Most people don't have the money for this approach to IVF (because rarely does one egg become one healthy embryo become one successful implanted fetus become one healthy baby - more often 5 eggs become 2 healthy embryos become 0 successfully implanted fetuses) but there it is.

Not in any way trying to convince you of anything, hopefully you woln't need any more technology for conception, but it is so good that you and your husband are thinking about these issues now, and also thinking about your own mental health and happiness in the long TTC process.

 

[nycbkgirl]

DD- good point about having to deal with the situation of having to freeze or discard remaining embryos...

this whole thing is def a tough decision to make and I think u should do whatever u believe in and know in your heart that its the right thing.

Cara- that''s exactly the right term "imperfect science" in regards to injectables/clomid w. iui...I had cancelled cycles bc of understimulation and over...its tough on the pocket and emotions.

 

[tiffanytwisted]

Date: 5/14/2009 9:04:56 PM
Author: nycbkgirl
fisher-
im so glad u didnt give up on us here and glad to hear from u....
wanted to chime in on iui and ivf....unfortunatley with iui u cant be sure u just have 1 or 2 follicles...they cant control that and most likely a woman with no infertility issues (known of) will create more than 1 or 2 follicles bc of the stimulation process of the injections...i would def suggest ivf versus iui bc there u can definitley just implant only 1 embryo...with ivf u can basically control that bc of the choice u have of how many embryos to implant...for example i had 4 good embryos and i chose to implant 2 and they both stuck

...but my doc did suggest only putting 1 (bc of my young age) but he would not let me put more than 2 back....(so my other 2 are now frozen embies)....thats just info im not pushing u to go that direction but im glad to here u are not giving up...if there is an issue with SA there are natural ways to try to get it to improve (should ask doc about dh taking supplements and certain vitamins etc)....in any case...we love u here and wish u all the best and i know in my heart this will happen for u!

IUI in and of itself does not create multiples. It totally depends on what type of drugs are used for follicle stimulation. Clomid combined with IUI doesn''t increase the chance for multiples any more than just clomid with intercourse. If you do clomid with a hcg trigger, then you are more likely to release more follicles, so that could lead to multiples. Injectables can also lead to multiples, but hopefully they are monitoring enough that if you have too many mature follicles, they could cancel the IUI and/or not trigger that cycle. Sure with IVF you could ONLY transfer one embryo, but IVF is also a lot more expensive than IUI, especially if insurance isn''t paying.
Sorry if I sound crabby, I just don''t want anyone to get scared off from IUI because they are worried about multiples. The follicle stimulating medications are what can lead to multiples, not the IUI itself. IUI can even be done on non-medicated cycles, if cervical mucous or sperm count is part of the issue.

 

[tiffanytwisted]

Sorry for the double info, I didn''t read Cara''s post before I posted.

 

[nycbkgirl]

Sorry if I sound so anti-iui...but I personally am and I only refer to the injection iuis cycles (not the natural or reg clomid kind)...for me injection iui was more expensive and more stressful than ivf...but I apologize if anyone was offended about the iui talk....I only speak from my own experience ...and everyone has individual results

But nonetheless...fisher I wish u lots of preggo dust and I hope none of these procedures we are discussing will be necessary! hugs <3

 

[swimmer]

Date: 5/14/2009 8:39:28 PM
Author: fisherofmengirly

I think the initial moment of letting go of the dream each cycle just becomes more intense for me and I didn''t mean that we were literally throwing in the towel on the idea of conceiving, merely that we''re emotionally at a point where we need to have this take a back seat for a while, so we can just be *us* again. Not that we aren''t still us, but anyone who''s gone through this for more than 6 months knows the feelings, stresses, and constant thoughts the process can push on you.

Great to hear from you Fisher. Yeah, takin'' it to the backseat, sounds like a good change of scenery.
HA! trying to make you laugh!

Seriously, we all are pulling for you so hard and I totally agree with you, knowing your limits (in all things really) is so key. I am with you about knowing where the boundaries lie; DH and I are cool with IUI but not IVF, yup frozen puppies are just a hair beyond what we personally will do. Even though all of it is totally covered by insurance in MA, we told the RE that while we know he is really good at IVF, we would not be going that far. Some people are willing and comfortable doing whatever it takes and some of us just are not, both paths are excellent for the folks that choose them.

It is friday! yes. finally. I''m off now to make some challah, with or without rasins, that is the question.

Yeah InLuv! Bring this thread some good news lady! (no pressure, just dust coming from here)

 

[InLuv101]

Date: 5/14/2009 6:13:56 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie

Date: 5/14/2009 5:25:15 PM

Author: InLuv101

Date: 5/14/2009 5:19:53 PM

Author: dreamer_dachsie

InLuv I hope you are right... now how in the world could you have a suspicion that makes you feel so positive after feelig so poopy earlier? Hmmm... this is a mystery like the whole ''Who is festy'' mystery!

The reason I felt so poopy earlier is because DH & I are going to have to take a TTC break if I''m not KTFU this cycle because of a possible lay off in my future. It wasn''t because I felt like I was out this cycle.

Sorry, I read what I wrote and realized it could have sounded negative. I didn''t mean that like ''How in the world, you are strange!'' but rather like, ''Hmmmmm... how in the world, what would have made her think that?''

I had also forgotten about the reason you were taking a break, sorry! I sure hope you are right though!!

No worries Dreamer - you weren''t negative and I wasn''t offended

 

[InLuv101]

Date: 5/14/2009 9:49:17 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie

Date: 5/14/2009 9:04:56 PM

Author: nycbkgirl

fisher-

im so glad u didnt give up on us here and glad to hear from u....

wanted to chime in on iui and ivf....unfortunatley with iui u cant be sure u just have 1 or 2 follicles...they cant control that and most likely a woman with no infertility issues (known of) will create more than 1 or 2 follicles bc of the stimulation process of the injections...i would def suggest ivf versus iui bc there u can definitley just implant only 1 embryo...with ivf u can basically control that bc of the choice u have of how many embryos to implant...for example i had 4 good embryos and i chose to implant 2 and they both stuck

...but my doc did suggest only putting 1 (bc of my young age) but he would not let me put more than 2 back....(so my other 2 are now frozen embies)....thats just info im not pushing u to go that direction but im glad to here u are not giving up...if there is an issue with SA there are natural ways to try to get it to improve (should ask doc about dh taking supplements and certain vitamins etc)....in any case...we love u here and wish u all the best and i know in my heart this will happen for u!

This aspect of IVF crossed my mind too when I read Fishers post, but I suspect that some people, perhaps Fisher included, would not be comfortable creating embryos that would never be used, or that would be stored indefinitely. It seems there are always tough decisions to make in this realm!


Fisher I think that you will be successful using clomid, this is only the start of your 3rd cycle and as we all know it takes a little while to get preggo even when everything is perfect! I am thinking positive thoughts for you this month.

I agree with DD! I do think you and Paul will be successful with clomid. I''m praying for you Fisher.

 

[Festy]

Fisher, it''s so good to hear from you. Please add me to the list of people giving you big hugs and sending love your way.

Tiffany and NYC, and everyone else who chimed in with info on IUI/IVF - thank you! It is all such a mystery to me and I''m the kind of person who needs to think for a while about something before I jump in. The whole injection/Clomid/au naturel thing intrigues me. I remember my doctor mentioning in passing that they would do Clomid with IUI. I''m curious if they would still recommend Clomid if there are no suspected O problems. Anyway, all conjecture at this point, but I like to have an idea of what I''m in for!

CD 1 is creeping up on me so I''m trying to get optimistic about the next cycle. Woo hoo!

 

[NovemberBride]

Fisher, I am sending out a huge virtual hug to you and Paul along with all my prayers. I know in my heart that you will be wonderful parents one day in the not too far future. You and Paul have such a wonderful relationship in the way that you talk everything out and approach everything as a team and with a positive attitude. I am sure that your strong relationship will help you to be good parents when the time comes.

InLuv, I am hoping to see you on the preggo thread very soon and am very intrigues to see what the signs are!

Swimmer, this is totally off topic, but do you by chance have a recipe for challah bread you would be willing to share?

 

[mela lu]

Prayers outward for mr. and mrs. Fisher as well. I''m always channelling every fertile bit of energy I have towards you ladies

. There is nothing I want more than for you girls to see your dreams come true. ((((hug))))

 

[peonygirl]

Thanks for explaining Fisher! I understand how you feel and as the other girls do I definitely respect that.

I''m also glad that some people chimed in about the particulars of IUI. . . lots of misconceptions (bad double entendre!) about that. I hope that you end up just like Amber though, so all that talk is irrelevant!

Good luck InLuv!!!!!!!!!

 

[peonygirl]

Hey swimmer, I just realized that I never heard follow-up about your DH''s Tay-Sachs and CF testing. Did you guys end up doing that? Hopefully all went well!

 

[Krissie]

Hi everyone!

DH and I have decided to officially start the TTC process! I came off BC in October following our wedding, and I''ve been surprised to have had fairly regular cycles since then - of course, none have been identical, but they average about 28 days each. I gave a halfhearted attempt to charting in February, but found it difficult to stay disciplined with the temping because we were going through a bit of a rough patch with our employment. Now that things are back on track, we''re going to give it the old college try next cycle!

Because I haven''t been temping, my FF charts aren''t particularly helpful. I''m predicted to O within a 6-day period starting today! We just got back from a second-honeymoon where we had a bit of practice so we''ll continue over the next 6 days and see what happens! I''m convinced it will take a long while to get KTFU because I had highly irregular periods in the past, and I''m also not noticing any of the CM signs and haven''t since February. So, we''ll see! We aren''t in any rush, but having a wee one in the next year would be wonderful!

 

[natalina]

Fisher- thinking of you and Paul. I just know your time will come, and you will be such a great mom. That baby (or babies

) will be so loved. Thinking of you...

InLuv- tomorrow''s Monday! I''m really excited for you! Fingers crossed!

 

[cakeny]

Lots of luck to you InLuv, today is the day!

So I spent the weekend with 2 great friends of mine. One is 5 1/2 months pg and the other has a 2 year old and is actively TTC for #2. Needless to say it was ALL baby talk, which was totally fun. But I was slightly irritated when one of them kept singling me out to apologize for talking too much baby. Why are you sorry? I don''t feel bad. Why would you assume so?

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 5/18/2009 12:59:52 PM
Author: cakeny
Lots of luck to you InLuv, today is the day!


So I spent the weekend with 2 great friends of mine. One is 5 1/2 months pg and the other has a 2 year old and is actively TTC for #2. Needless to say it was ALL baby talk, which was totally fun. But I was slightly irritated when one of them kept singling me out to apologize for talking too much baby. Why are you sorry? I don''t feel bad. Why would you assume so?

From a different perspective I have a friend who really really wants a baby. And she isn''t having any luck right now. So when she gets together with friends who are all baby talk-it does make her feel a bit left out and sad.

So I am sure your friends were just trying to be polite in case you were screaming in your head "shut up! I don''t want to talk about babies anymore!" as many women would be who either are childless by choice or are trying desperately to have a baby.

I doubt they were trying to make you feel badly.

 

[Burk]

Inluv~We''re all waiting for some good news!

Krissie~Welcome!

 

[cakeny]

I didn''t think they were trying to make me feel bad at all. I''m just pointing out that on the OTHER side of things, us childless people don''t always have to be treated with kid gloves when it comes to baby-related things. that''s all

 

[qtiekiki]

Hi Ladies,
I thought I will make an introduction and join this thread since we are planning to officially TTC in a couple months for baby #2.
With DD, we were not preventing for 1.5 year and officially tried for 1 year. We went to our regular dr and got a referral to a RE after the 1 year of trying. At the same appt, we found out we had asymptomatic UTI and was given antibiotic. B/c we were TTCing, the dr and I decided that I should wait until my period before starting treatment in case I was pregnant. So I took the antibiotic while on my period. And I thought "heck we''ll wait for this cycle to end before making the appt to the RE." Low and behold we got pregnant that cycle. Since it took us a year last time, I really want some support in case it takes a while this time around again. No one knew we were TTCing last time, and it was incredibly frustrating. I also feel weird telling people IRL that we are TTCing (partly b/c most of our friends are still single and wouldn''t understand), so I am really looking forward to this thread.

Fisher
I understand your viewpoint on life starting at conception. Do whatever you and Paul feel comfortable with. I haven''t read your whole story, but wanted to give you a BIG hug. It took SIL about 7 years to conceive. Just another successful long journey story, so stay positive.

Thanks ladies for the info on IUI and IVF.

 

[qtiekiki]

InLuv
Good Luck. Crossing my fingers for you.

 

[cakeny]

BTW, WHERE the FRAK is my copy of TCOYF??? I think I mentioned that I ordered a copy from amazon last week, but have still yet to get it in the mail. I did get my BBT thing though so I just started temping (for practice. still waiting for my first AF off the ring. I think I'm on day 30 now. Come onnnnn AF!)

Hi qtiekiki (SUCH a cute avatar!) and Krissie. Wishing lots of luck to you both!

 

[Festy]

InLuv - thinking about you a ton! I hope you''re somewhere out there doing a happy dance!

Krissie - welcome and good luck!

qtie - Hoping #2 goes a lot faster for you! DH and I will "celebrate" our one-year-TTC anniversary in August. That''s one anniversary I''d rather not celebrate!

 

[Sha]

Thinking of you too, InLuv... hoping for a happy update later?

 

[taovandel]

delurking to ask where inluv is! We are all waiting to hear the news.