The Official TTC for 6 Months or More Thread

[Asscherhalo_lover]

OMG Bright that's amazing!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Bright, I read your happy news last night, but couldn't post!! Still beaming for you this morning and hope you enjoy this time as much as possible! Continued sticky thoughts for you!!

 

[Kunzite]

Squeeeeeeeee! Huge hugs Bright!

 

[monkeyprincess]

Bright, still so happy about your news! I so hope this is it for you, lady! By the way, did your doctor say anything else in his email? I'm sure he is pleased to see such a good number for a change. Two days seem like such a long time to wait, but it will be so worth it in the end if this finally your sticky bean.

How is everyone else doing?

LV, have you made any decisions about when to move forward?

SB, thinking of you. I hope you are doing a better job than I am of keeping busy and not thinking about it. I was feeling pretty optimistic for awhile, but as the weekend gets closer, I'm starting to lose hope. Have I mentioned how much I hate the 2ww?

SS, were you able to confirm that you ovulated? Really hoping you are able to conceive again before too long after you loss.

Who did I miss? I'm having a hard time keeping track of who is actively posting and trying these days!

AFM, I'm 10dpo, and I have to confess that I caved and used a wondfo this morning. I told myself I wasn't really cheating because I didn't use a FRER, but I was annoyed with myself for having such little willpower afterward. Like last month, if I looked carefully enough it seemed like I was seeing a smudge or "something" where the line should be, but it was definitely BFN. In the end I guess it's better to just start preparing myself, so I can feel the sadness in increments and not all at once if I'm not pregnant again this month. (I also had a dream last night that I was in labor and the doctor was going to make me have a c-section for no apparent reason, and I was thinking maybe that was a sign I was pregnant. Delusional!)

 

[split_shank]

MP, I wish you the best in the next few days of trying to wait! Forgive me for not keeping up on your progress but what is the future plan, in the cruel off case that this month doesn't pan out? I hope BS's good news is just the beginning for all of you ladies waiting for so long.

I'm not sure what is going on the last day or two. I've been cramping, pretty moderately, and its kind of hard to get used to being as its was so 'silent' down there last month. Even last AF didn't produce this much cramping. Not sure what its all about, since its not O pain, too early for textbook implantation cramping (which I highly doubt). I can't really go by DPO, since I'm not sure when or if I did. And I'm not sure how to calculate CD since I spotted for 2-3 days before I started a good flow. Technically I guess I would be CD17 not counting spotting days. My RE calls CD1 the first day of full ALL day flow, which in my book could be more like CD 2 or so on some cycles. I keep wondering if that could potentially throw things off dating-wise for US's and meds, but I guess he's been doing this longer than I have. I think if I talk AF into starting by the 27th I may be able to medicate and get my scans done before I leave for vacation, and possibly trigger while I'm gone. That's my master plan. I'll let you know when it gets foiled.

 

[monkeyprincess]

SS, I don't really have a plan going forward, and that's why this is so hard. IUI is pretty much my last shot, and it doesn't seem to be working this time, even though it worked on the first go around with my son. So if this cycle doesn't work, I guess I try a few more IUIs. I may take a break too depending on what the NP suggests. I don't feel like I'm ready to give up trying, but my efforts are starting to feel futile, and our medical bills are adding up.

I think it is pretty standard to count the first day of full-on AF as CD1. It hasn't been an issue the past couple of cycles, but I had a couple cycles a few months ago where AF seemed to full on start, only to stop the next day and then come back a few days later. It was so frustrating because I had no idea what to count as CD1. Really hope the timing works out for you!

 

[aviastar]

Bright, still so happy about your news! I so hope this is it for you, lady!

. (I also had a dream last night that I was in labor and the doctor was going to make me have a c-section for no apparent reason, and I was thinking maybe that was a sign I was pregnant. Delusional!)

I, also, am so excited still for you Bright! I was telling DH last night and he was like, "um, so is this someone you know, or a stranger, or.." and I was like " SHE'S NOT A STRANGER, SHE'S BRIGHTSPOT AND THIS IS AMAZING NEWS!"

And I had a pregnant dream last night, too, MP. I wasn't in labor, just very pregnant and hanging out with another friend of mine who actually is pregnant right now in real life. I was kinda sad to wake up.

I'm plugging away over here; finished the clomid and had an ultrasound on Monday. Things are progressing, but not quickly, which is my usual MO from past donation cycles. High yield, but slow build. I have 8 follicles growing; three in the right ovary which are too small to really amount to anything, so they don't really count. And five in the left ovary which was clearly the dominant ovary this cycle; the tech picked out one she liked the look of best and thought it would become the dominant follicle and be the one to release. Lining is 5mm, so only about half of what it needs to be, but the follicles are small still, too, so there is growing time left. Based on the first few signs of CM and my own charting history, I think I have about another 5-7 days till O; OPKs are negative, but fading in. Another ultrasound lined up for next Monday (will be CD1 to see how things are progressing.

Sorry you're having so much crampiness, SS; it's one thing when you know it's productive, but just random cramping? Blech. I like your plan! Trigger on a vacation= perfect time for some sexy-time fun!

 

[BrightSpot]

Oh my goodness, guys. Thank you so much for the outpouring of good wishes! I was smiling all night reading your sweet posts (& getting pretty excited, which I'm trying to temper a bit.) I kept telling my DH how awesome my ladies are. It's kind of crazy to look back at all of the posts & think of the journeys I've shared with each & every one of you over the years. It made me very teary & grateful. I'm sorry I didn't post last night, but I didn't want to totally tune my DH out & I'm not good at the short posts.

I'm really excited about these numbers, but also still a little scared that something could still go wrong. It's like I almost don't trust the good news. That said, I've been smiling nonstop since I got it.

pancake, thanks for your advice on telling my doc. As a doctor, would you really be annoyed if a patient had basically gone against your advice & self medicated? I just hope it wouldn't ruin our dr-patient relationship. That said, I do feel like my doc should have all of the relevant information to provide me with the best care.
Also, congrats on your pregnancy!

C-tek, congrats on your pregnancy too!

Dani, amc, MP, LV, C-tek, pupp, bella, aviastar, ss, jgator, missrachelk, s&i, mlk, asscherhalo, pancake, sb, icekid, NEL, brightlight, Kunzite, thank you so much for your support & good wishes. It means the world to me.

s&i, thank you, dear. I'm working today & have lots of other things planned including dinner with a friend tonight, so I hope to keep myself distracted until Thursday.

icekid, hey, sweetie! It's to good to see my lovely octagonal halo twin here. We go way back, my dear. Thank you for checking up on me & cheering me on.

LC, thanks for the dust! I don't think the number is so high that it indicates multiples, especially looking at the chart tammy posted. (When I looked at just the median betas on betabase I was a little concerned...) I've only gotten 1 follicle with this dose of clomid in the past, but, I guess since I wasn't monitored this time, I don't know for sure how many follies there were.

aviastar, your post made me laugh! I definitely don't think of you guys as strangers either. Even though we've never met in person, I think of you guys as my best friends in this journey.

bella, I had a chuckle at your comment about going rogue too! Worked for you... (And I have to admit when I read your post about you only taking 50mg of your prescribed 100mg that I made the mental note, "So Bella has some extra clomid sitting around..."

tammy, thanks for your support & for sending the betabase link. So helpful & reassuring.

Also, tammy, MP, tbaus, thanks for sharing your beta #s around this dpo. That's really helpful to me.

MP, I'm so sorry about the bfn. But are you sure it's a bfn? I've never gotten even a smudge of a line on a wondfo if there wasn't hcg in my system. Could it still be the trigger? Or something else?
I actually had a dream I was pregnant on the night of 9dpo. My test the following morning was a bfn, followed by a bfp at 11dpo. Maybe your dream is prophetic? (Not about the unnecessary c-section, though.) Still hopeful for you, lady. Hugs.

SB, how are you doing? Thinking of you.

brightlight, thinking of you too. I actually wrote an email to you today but my stupid computer deleted it. I'm going to attack it again once I cool down. I hope you're well.

ss, I'm sorry your body has been sending confusing messages. How frustrating! If this cycle doesn't work (& I hope it does), being able to try on vacation would be great!

aviastar, I'm sorry about the dream. That's the worst, isn't it? I think a high yield, but slow going is good, right? Isn't that better for egg quality? Fingers crossed for you this cycle! Are you doing an IUI?

ETA: Jgator (or anyone else), you took thyroid meds, right? How long were you on them before they made a difference TTC-wise? A friend of mine just started thyroid meds & her doc is rushing her to IVF, while she'd rather give the meds some time to take effect. I'm not sure how long that is, typically. Thanks!

 

[monkeyprincess]

Bright, your feelings are completely understandable. Early pregnancy is such a time of uncertainty and worry especially if you've had infertility or previous losses. It's out of your control at this point, so you just have to have faith that a miracle is at work. Thinking of you and hoping these next few weeks just fly by for you. Grow baby, grow!

Oh, and as far as me thinking I saw something, I'm starting to think I'm just crazy and can convince my eyes to see what I want them to see because this happened last time too where I swear I was seeing something on every test I took. It was definitely BFN. That's okay though. As much as I'd like another BFP for myself, I'm so glad it was you instead this time!

Aviastar, pregnancy dreams really are the worst once you wake up. Last cycle, I had a dream I had a BFP and I was trying to convince my sister there was a line but she couldn't see it. That's when you know you've been taking and obsessing over too many HPTs! I always respond super fast to medication and am ready to trigger on CD10, but I agree with Bright that it is probably better that things are developing slowly and steadily. I'm so glad you are being monitored this cycle so you can get a better idea of what is going on. I just have a good feeling for you that it won't be too much longer.

 

[JGator]

Bright, I think the thyroid meds made an impact quickly. In my notes from my pregnancy, my TSH was 2.73 at 16 DPO and the RE prescribed Levothyroxine/Synthroid, and it went down to 1.8 within 3 weeks (the next time they tested it). It was down to 1.2 - 8 days after that and .93 a month later. This was with the lowest dose of Levothyroxine - 25 mcg/day. Also, FYI, my beta was 319 at 16 DPO so I think you are in great shape. Very optimistic for you!!!

 

[amc80]

To add to the beta list, mine was 390 and I believe that was at 16dpo.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Bright-I woke up smiling for you!!! Can't wait for your next beta, but totally understand the not wanting to be too excited feeling! I was exactly the same way.

Avia-Re DH asking is this a stranger or a friend, I just refer to all my PS TTC and mommy ladies as friends. For goodness sakes, we talk about cervical mucus and s*x and b**bs and all kinds of stuff that I would not normally discuss with many of my IRL friends...plus, we travel these long, hard, often painful (and sometimes VERY joyous) journeys together. So, I've embraced the crazy and just call you all my friends DH knows better now than to even ask

Yep, Bright you are totally right, I do have clomid lying around and am saving it in case we decide to TTC again in the future (which I am really not at all sure about) but I figured I shouldn't let it go to waste at least until I am sure I don't need/want it

 

[monkeyprincess]

Add me to the list of medication stockpilers. I was prescribed 7.5 mg of femara for two months but I asked her if it was okay if I only took 5, so I have a months work of 5 mg for the future

 

[mlk]

I'm still smiling at your news Bright! To answer your question re thyroid meds, my endo told me I couldn't TTC until my thyroid was sorted and said it takes 6 weeks for the meds to kick in and everything to stabilize. From memory my thyroid was about 6.5 in the late January and was around 1.5 by mid March. To add to the beta list, I think mine was around 200ish at 14dpo and I got my bfp at 8dpo

 

[brightlight]

That's wonderful news BrightSpot!

 

[Loves Vintage]

MP - Sorry about the early BFN, but it is EARLY for you, so I remain optimistic for you!!

Aviastar - Grow, grow, grow. Looking forward to your Monday update and hope this little boost is all you need!

SB - I'm having a hard time keeping track, but I think you are in the 2WW. Super good luck to you!!

Brightlight -

BrightSpot - GOOD LUCK TODAY!

Bella - Quick question for you if you are checking in here. Did you say once that your acupuncturist gave you moxa to do at home? Uhm, how did that work exactly? No needles at home, right, lol? That sticks in my mind because I love moxa! She doesn't use it all the time on me, but even when she uses it on someone else (community acupuncture), I find the smell very comforting.

*********
AFM: We did decide to take another cycle off, and I am feeling a lot of relief for that! It is still really difficult to face the BFNs, so that is what was making me want to go full steam ahead with IVF, but now that we've settled on a break, I am feeling good about it. I am back to acupuncture and really really like it. I will go once per week. She actually suggested 3 months off of treatments, just acupuncture and herbs. There is NO WAY I can take 3 months off, so I feel like an additional month, plus the wonky cycle I just had off, is good enough!

 

[monkeyprincess]

LV, I think you were smart to take this cycle off. I feel really hopeful you'll have success with ivf. Hope you are able to enjoy the break from meds and appointments!

Bright, thinking of you today and passing for more good news! Grow, grow, grow!

Afm, another BFN, so it is looking like I'm out again. I'm just numb. I can't imagine that I'll ever just stop trying for another baby but I don't know how much more there is to do treatment wise. I could just kick God in the shin right now, but I guess he has a plan for us that's a little different from mine.

 

[Loves Vintage]

Sorry to hear about the BFN, MP. I know exactly how you are feeling. It becomes more and more difficult to face as each cycle goes on. If this is not your cycle (you're only 11DPO, right?), then you might consider a consult with an RE, just to see if they would suggest any additional testing or have any other insights for you. I really do think you will have another baby, but maybe just not on the timeline you had hoped, as you suggested in your last post as well. Hang in there. I know this is so hard.

 

[monkeyprincess]

LV, thanks for your kind words. It helps just having someone understand what I'm going through. Nobody IRL really does, and DH sometimes just doesn't know what to say or he says the wrong thing.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

HI LV_Yes, my acupuncturist gave me moxa to do at home. It is a stick of moxa (almost looks like a really really hard cigar) and you light it and burn it over the point, gently stabbing and swishing the air but never ever touching your skin as it is SUPER hot. She had me do moxa at home to help stop my incessant uterine bleeding and was very specific about where the acupoint was that I needed to do. I know that they also send people home with moxa sticks to help turn breech babies. Not sure what else...it's worth asking your practiconer!

 

[lliang_chi]

Aw MP, I'm sorry for the BFN. Hugs and yes I understand what you're going through. Sometimes husbands, while they feel for us because they see we're upset, they can't get the emotional yearning and sometimes end up saying the wrong thing. I get it. Totally. And you can come here and yell, scream and shake your fists. We're totally here for you. <<< H U G S >>>

LV, I like your plan on taking a cycle off and starting up acupuncture again. I gotta say I *loved* going to acupuncture each week. May I ask how you swing it since I know you have a young DD too? If I'm not lucky this cycle, I'm going to do acupuncture as well, and I just don't konw how I'll swing it timing wise. Mornings I'm getting me and Ethan out the door. Evenings when I have ot pick up Ethan it's walking the dog, getting Ethan then the evening routine of feeding, bathing and bed, then making dinner.

 

[Loves Vintage]

Thanks, Bella! That's really interesting. I will ask her about it. Hope you are doing well. I check in on you ladies every now and again and sorry to hear that you have had some difficulties with pregnancy. Hope you are feeling better nowadays. I also have to say I am amazed at how much you have accomplished too, with school and all of your extra work obligations!

LC, She has hours on the weekend!! Otherwise, it would be difficult. She also has hours in the evening one day per week, which though manageable, is not ideal due to the driving time there, after work, etc., so I am sticking with the weekends. I looked into a few other places, that are closer to me, but they have only standard office hours, like til 5, so that would never work. Was your place community acupuncture too? Could your DH pick up E once per week, or is that not doable? Or, maybe look around for a place with weekend hours. I have to admit, it's very relaxing to have some time to myself too!

 

[monkeyprincess]

Thanks LC, keeping my fingers crossed for you this cycle! And yes, I love my DH, but he hates seeing me so upset so he always tries to give me pep talks or remind me of everything I have to be thankful for, but sometimes, I'm just in the mood to wallow, and he doesn't want to let me do that. I was texting back and forth with my mom this morning because I filled her in at Christmas that we're dealing with infertility again. That helped, and it makes me feel better just knowing she is rooting and praying for us to have a sibling for Ev.

LV, I forgot to mention that yes, the thought keeps crossing my mind that I maybe need to make an appointment with one of the REs at the practice. I'm a bit hesitant to do this because it will mean waiting, more testing, and more and more money (we have no fertility coverage), which after cutting back on my hours (and salary) at work and buying a new house last fall, is just not something I feel we can afford right now. And in the end, I'm sure they are going to say we should do IVF. I'm thinking we need to take a bit of time off and regroup and decide how to proceed. We can keep trying on our own of course, but it's not very likely to work given three stimulated IUIs failed.

Bright, sending all of my dust your way!

 

[Loves Vintage]

MP - Sometimes diagnostics are covered, even if treatments are not, so that is worth looking into. I don't recall whether you have ever had an HSG or sono-HSG. Both practices I visited wanted the sono-HSG, even though I had a baby already. I know that IVF is usually the next step after IUIs, but have you tried injectables yet? I wonder whether they would make a difference? In my area, it seems like RE practices are a bit competitive and some even offer free consults.

Women get pregnant all the time after failed treatment cycles. You will get pregnant again. I do not doubt that.

 

[monkeyprincess]

LV, unfortunately, neither diagnostic nor treatment is covered. I did have an HSG while TTC#1. One tube was very open, and the other one was open after initial resistance, but my OB thought it was a spasm or something and not a blockage. I asked the NP about getting another one a couple months ago, she thought it was unlikely my tubes had become blocked unless I had a c-section or infection or something, which I have not. But she did say that if this round didn't work, I should probably get one. I assume I'll have to go in for an ovary check once AF arrives, and I'm going to have a frank conversation with her about whether we are beyond her level of expertise (of course I won't phrase it that way with her). Do you know whether injectibles produce higher quality eggs or anything? If that were the case, I'd be open to trying them, but again, I'm guessing they are ridiculously expensive too, which might be too much of a gamble. Wow, I'm so debbie downer today!

 

[split_shank]

MP I'm sorry you're have a low day. Mine seem to come and go. This is completely non-specific and I know we each have our own issues causing infertility, but I often think of my cousin and his wife when I feel hopeless. They have IVF twins 7 years ago (I don't know what their issues were at the time), and he ended up with a healthy boy and girl. They felt they hit the lottery and called it good, getting rid of their remaining embryos and was always told they wouldn't conceive on their own. Fast forward 7 years and they were pleasantly surprised with a pregnancy, with not one, but TWO babies, identical. They were born last month and are healthy and they are over the moon. I know people can blow smoke and tell happy stories of miracles, but the thing that I usually take away from it is that crazier things have happened and we really don't have the control that we think we (or would like to) have. I hope you are able to feel better and an answer will come to you regarding moving forward with RE or not.

 

[monkeyprincess]

SS, wow, that is a great story. Congratulations to your family! I think of Brightspot's current situation as another example, and you hear about stories like this all the time. It's just si hard, as you know, when you're in the thick of it to sit back and wait for a miracle. But thanks for the reminder. If only we could look into a crystal ball to know that eventually we'll both have another baby! I think that would take some of the pressure and urgency out of the situation. I guess my patience and faith is just being tested, and I'm failing miserably!

Okay, enough of my wallowing. Brightspot, are you out there? I hope you don't have to wait so long to get your second beta results back. Praying, praying, praying!

 

[Loves Vintage]

MP - The sono-HSG looks for abnormalities in the uterus, I believe. This is the one they both insisted on (and it's the one I had at the prior practice, just before I left there.) My current RE recommended the HSG again, but I resisted, and have not had one again. I would guess an RE would recommend a sono-HSG, but maybe this is something you can ask your NP about? Maybe it isn't indicated?

Injectables will not produce better quality eggs. In other words, it is not going to affect their basic make-up. They may produce more eggs, which I don't think has been a problem for you. I have no idea whether injectable cycles are more successful than clomid or femara cycles, but that's a great question. It just seems like injectables are the next step. They are a lot more expensive.

I think you are just in that difficult, just tested spot right now. You will feel better in a few days. That always seems to happen with me.

 

[monkeyprincess]

I think you are just in that difficult, just tested spot right now. You will feel better in a few days. That always seems to happen with me.

Yup, this exactly. Only worse than usual this time. Hopefully, I can get the really low mood out of the way and only be mildly sad the next couple of days until I have actual confirmation. I feel a bit crampy today off and on, so hopefully AF will not take as long to come this time. I thought about stopping progesterone, but I better wait the full 14 days just in case.

And I've broken my no crying at work rule twice today! Good thing I have an office with a door, but I'm trying to keep it together because a closed door means nothing to several of the partners I work with!

 

[JGator]

Bright, how was the beta today?

MP, sorry you are sad. Hugs to you.