The Official TTC for 6 Months or More Thread

[Steel]

Welcome,

This is the thread for members of the TTC thread who have been actively trying to conceive for more than six months, are TTC after a loss, are undergoing ART and also for those considering /undertaking adoption or fostering.

I’m hoping it can be a place to share, learn and support those who know about how to get pregnant it just isn’t happening.
A place to learn about infertility testing including HSG, SA and share infomation on ART; IUI, ICSI, IVF, donor sperm/egg, % success rates, adoption and fostering paperwork/assessments and so on.
But also a place to provide emotional support to each other and learn how to seek and give support to our husbands or significant others.

Baby dust to all and I declare the KTFUBC 2011 club officially open for business.

 

[Steel]

So to get the party started.....

Most of you know me, I've been off BC since June 2009 on the NTNP (not trying, not preventing) train and activly timing with OPK's and charting since May of this year. I have been convinced I was pregnant more than once and one possible (unknown) chemical last month. My husband is fantastic and we wonder if this is ever going to happen for us.

I'm on CD 19 of a 28ish day cycle (with SI days 1-5) and 1/2 DPO (with lots of Vit B).....and the bank is closed for essential repairs.

 

[Steel]

I have been squirreling information from the net about SA's as ours is this month and this is what I have so far:

Volume: 2cc or more
Count: 20 million per cc [average is said to be 35 million per cc]
Motility [moving]: 50%
Morphology [shape]: 14% [average said to be closer to 2-6%?]

My research led me to an infertility blog about morphology suggesting that the 14% figure is grossly elevated and the normal range is far likely to be between 2-6% as the quest for perfect sperm shape is becoming stricter and stricter. It referenced that the WHO's normal range for morphology is still at 30% of the sample.

I worked out that 2cc = approx 2ml = about two fifth of a teaspoon.

If anybody else knows more about SA's or where I can get good info I would love to know....

 

[charbie]

Great thread:
I'm kinda sorta maybe TTC after a loss. I feel jaded. I feel like I'm trying to plan when a baby might be, but I'm never going to really be sure since I could get excited to have my world smash down again. I may be able to have a baby, but in the end I'm scared it really won't happen and I'm going to suffer another loss. I'm not sure how I would even handle it. I've heard mixed reviews...some people say once you've had a loss, you have a greater chance of having another, and others say it is a fluke thing. Either way, my guard is most def up and I really am not in the mood to tell anyone in the event I fall pregnant again!
Since you brought up the SA, I have talked to my husband about how he felt. In the event one was needed, he said he would do it. So that's at least I got that going for me.
Steal: do you know if you are ovulating every month?

 

[Steel]

Great thread:
I'm kinda sorta maybe TTC after a loss. I feel jaded. I feel like I'm trying to plan when a baby might be, but I'm never going to really be sure since I could get excited to have my world smash down again. I may be able to have a baby, but in the end I'm scared it really won't happen and I'm going to suffer another loss. I'm not sure how I would even handle it. I've heard mixed reviews...some people say once you've had a loss, you have a greater chance of having another, and others say it is a fluke thing. Either way, my guard is most def up and I really am not in the mood to tell anyone in the event I fall pregnant again!
Since you brought up the SA, I have talked to my husband about how he felt. In the event one was needed, he said he would do it. So that's at least I got that going for me.

Thanks Charbie, I felt like I was going out on a limb here.
I don't know who to believe with TTC after a loss but I lean towards believing in a fluke - unless there was some declared cause which needs correcting or is not your first unexplained loss. I have spent time on another forum reading about losses and I found it very emotional so while I have not been in your shoes I can appreciate that it must be very scary to actually take that confirmed step to TTC without knowing you will be buying a ticket for a rollercoaster ride. But you know how this ends - if you don't try you won't know.

Steal: do you know if you are ovulating every month?

No I don't. I'm guessing based on + OPK's (very very + this month) and EWCM. I really want to temp but I don't sleep well and usually wake up 3+ times a night so from what I understand that would be less productive. Our system is different and we don't have RE's the way you do. I am due my ultrasound (general gynae) in 2 weeks (at a hospital that does the basic tests) so I am hoping that she will refer me for testing. But we didn't have a great appoint on Tuesday so I don't have much faith in that. My Dr. (not Gynae or Re) is happy to offer clomid without testing as a 'see what happens' but won't until the SA comes back.

 

[Laila619]

I think this is a great idea for a thread, Steal! I hope it takes off. When I was TTC, I thought the "jerk stores" (what a dumb name anyway) really just didn't/couldn't understand how emotional TTC was for the rest of us. But then, unless you've gone through something yourself, I suppose you really can't grasp how it feels.

 

[LadyBlue]

Hi everybody!!!

I stopped taking BC pills on Dec/2009, after 1 year and a half of marriage. I was 26 years old at the time and I thought I was going to get pregnant pretty easy. The first 3 month we were basically just fooling around, My first 3 cycles were 28 days long and really did not pay attention if I was hitting O or if even I was O. By April I started questioning if in reality was that easy to get pregnant. I started Googling about the best days to have sex, but since I was pretty irregular between 32 to 40 days cycle It was not easy to figure out. In July I bought my first set of OPK's, the cheap ones for amazons, It did not work for me, I was not able to test at the same time and hold the pee for 4 hours. I never saw the dark line and I felt so worry that maybe I was not Ovulating. On September I bought the OPKs clear view, the 20 pieces package. I start testing in day 7 and by day 27 I did not O, I was sad and depressed. It was my first month taking my temperature as well and It was so different every day that It was obvious I was not O. On day 40 my temperature rise a lot, I was so confuse about that, it rise for 11 days and then AF show up. That month I had a 50 days cycle, never happen before. I was convinced that I was pregnant. I test for 15 days in a rue with a negative answer. It was sad when AF show up but at the same time I was happy that I O. Past month I went back to a 38 day cycle and a got 2 smiley faces in the OPKs. Sadly because of my fishes almost dyeing we only hit -3 so, the possibilities were not good.

In December is going to be a year of TTC, but I'm not ready to visit a Dr. I think I will wait until next summer, I will try to exercise first, the acupuncture, and if we have no luck we will see a Dr.

Past week my husband said, Alice will come when she is ready. He is right, when she is ready I will be here waiting for here. I'm confident I will be a mom, and it does not have to happen right now. It has to happen when the moment is right. I'm a huge believer of destiny and that things happen for a reason. Of course I will love if happens before Christmas

Dust to everybody, and It's a pleasure to be in this journey with you.

 

[Ryan Claire]

Great idea Steal... I often wished for a thread like this and I think it's going to be a great place for women who are having trouble trying to conceive. Once you have lived on the rollercoaster for awhile, it's not always easy to relate to newbies (who obviously deserve their place to be super excited and enthusiastic too...) So I think creating a part deux is perfect for the veterans who want to share their experiences with women who know what it's like AFTER the initial excitement has worn off a bit.

 

[moxie.moo]

<--- my sad face for losing the "veterans," who i enjoy so much.

our loss, but if it's what feels best, it's likely the right move for you.

 

[Steel]

RC: I can't wait to hear the results of your next beta! Squeal .

Laila: Thank you so much for understanding.

Gaby: I am thinking of dumping the OPK's too I suppose it all depends on the SA results. I often go virtual shopping on Amazon and drool at the clearblue machine thing - it looks so fancy schmancy. I have even put it in my basket (more than once ) but I'm not sure it would be any better for me. We have have hit O-6 every day through to O +2, though now we are concentrating on EOD and still a BFN. So would a fancy machine really make any difference? Would you believe I had a dream about the machine last month - I dreamed I bought one and everybody was looking at me when I checked out. I would love the sticks though - perhaps I'll get them too, so many TTC'ers seem happy with them. I know that this month was stressful for you but AF better hit the road because we mean business this cycle.

<--- my sad face for losing the "veterans," who i enjoy so much.

our loss, but if it's what feels best, it's likely the right move for you.

I don't know if this will all pan out, but I don't plan to stop replying to the TTC'ers <6 mths in the TTC part uno thread. I just need to be judging my progress on a different standard.

 

[moxie.moo]

Heard loud and clear. And I plan to stalk your progress as a super secret lurker because you're a personal fave... Is that an inappropriate admission for an online forum? If so, call me Ms. Inappropriate!

 

[Steel]

Heard loud and clear. And I plan to stalk your progress as a super secret lurker because you're a personal fave... Is that an inappropriate admission for an online forum? If so, call me Ms. Inappropriate!

In a thread where this icon is likely to be used: , nothing can possibly be inappropriate!

And just so you know, right back at you Moxie. (edited)

 

[Bella_mezzo]

YAY!!!!! Now all of us old curmudgeons have a place to vent and be grumpy (but we can still visit the regular TTC thread too

DH and I got married in Oct 2009. We didn't have s*x at all before we got married and knew we both wanted a family, so we figured we'd just figure things out together and "not try not to get pregnant". Our first month we had a false positive (talk about a crazy rollercoaster of a day). Since then, we've had some months with great timing and some without great timing in regards to our fertile window. I am pretty sure I ovulate every month (based on positive OPKS, regualr cycles, and regular EWCF). We've avoided SA or bloodwork so far, and are pursuing adoption from Ethiopia right now to start our family but we hope to get pregnant as well at some point (hopefully soon.

Once the adoption is complete we'll probably pursue more aggressive means of TTC, but for now we are trying to GOTF at the right time each month . Now that it's been more than a year with no BFP we are both kind of like especially since we both come from very fertile families. (DH is one of 6 kids, all but one were "Accidents" I am one of three, all "Accidents"!)

I feel a lot better about the whole thing now that we are pursuing adoption, but TTC was really getting me down for most of the winter/spring/early summer.

DH is now 34 and I am now 32, so we don't exactly feel like spring chickens...

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

Steal - Great idea to start this thread!

You'll see on the other TTC thread I posted that I'm having serious pangs to be trying again soon. To try and combat that, my OB has put me on the mini pill. She told me that the mini pill does not carry the potential delay traditional combo pills have once someone stops taking them. AND...because I feel pretty okay saying this here ....

...she also told me they have a very high failure rate, because you need to take the pill at the same time every day. If you are even 3 hours off, you aren't protected. Soooooo....guess who's kinda hoping for a surprise

 

[LaurenThePartier]

Steal, thank you so much for starting this thread. I can certainly empathize with you, as this journey is not without it's share of heartaches for many of us.

I'm of "advanced maternal age" as of last month, so seeing as how we only started trying in May of this year, immediately had an ectopic resulting in the loss of my right tube, and we're TTC after our very painful loss, the bloom is already off the rose a bit.

I was so excited and hopeful when I joined the thread to lurk in March, and started posting in April, but now I'm terrified that if we do indeed conceive again, the same thing will happen for us. I only have Ol' Lefty, so I can't afford to part with it! It doesn't keep us from trying, but there is so much hesitation now. I hope my somewhat jaded mood doesn't affect those TTCers in the part I thread that are so excited to begin this process, so I'm so happy to have a place to voice my frustrations where I don't feel like I'm raining on anyone's parade, and to offer support to some of my favourite ladies on PS.

 

[parrot tulips]

I'm happy to have a thread for those who've been trying a little longer. I'm at the start of our 15th cycle actively trying (we're in our mid 30's and trying for our first, so I definitely feel a little bit of pressure). 3 unsuccessful cycles on Clomid with back to back IUI's each time. I took a break last month, and managed to push my OB into giving me a referral for an RE. Hopefully the RE will be more informative and less dismissive.

Bella - You mentioned pursuing adoption. I hope you don't mind sharing, but where do you even begin? It's something my husband and I have considered (and plan to revisit if we don't fall pregnant after trying for 2 years), but I have no idea what the process entails.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Hi Parrot! Yep, we're in the thick of the adoption paperwork right now. There's an adoption thread here on PS where I posted a lot of the info. DH and I started a blog to chronicle our journey as well (Don't worry mods, I know I can't post it here ). One of the things we found really helpful when starting the process and researching agencies was to read people's blogs and get a feel for their experiences/agencies/families...we decided to adopt from Ethiopia (I'm happy to talk more about how we chose Ethiopia/international adoption if you are interested )

We're now almost done with the entire paperwork phase. Then we'll wait for a referral of a child (probably 4-12 months depending--our parameters are pretty broad, no gender preference, 1 child under 2 1/2 or up to three children under the age of 4!) once we get a referral it's about 3 months to complete the travel/adoption/embassy court stuff and it will include either 1 long trip to Ethiopia (we would stay there for approx 6 weeks) or two short trips of about 1 week each with about 4-5 weeks back in the States between the trips.

We chose IAN: http://adoptioninternational.net/ as our agency because we think they are very ethical, transparent, and well-regarded in the US and in Ethiopia. you can navigate their site to get to a bunch of family blogs, we found those really helpful to read about how family's experiences with the agency had been. Our other front runner was Holt International (but you have to be married for 2 years to go with them).

It's fun already starting to learn about Ethiopia. So, far, my fave thing is the Ethiopian/Amharic word for dog is Woosha. I love it Cracks me up everytime!

 

[missjaxon]

Steal, this is such a great idea! It is nice to have a place that is a little more comfortable for those of us who are dealing with the struggles and complications of TTC. As excited as I get for every lady that gets a BFP right away - and I truly do! ( I don't wish any of this worry and stress on anyone, in fact I wish I could take it away from all of you wonderful ladies because it really sucks!) It still stings when you see others fall pregnant easily - both in RL and even here. I feel terrible for admitting it .

Anyway to join to the party my DH and I have been TTC for over a year, I have PCOS & Factor V Leiden, he did a SA back in April and it came back great, I now possibly also have a luteal phase defect and so back to my OB I go.

It is CD 14 for me and still waiting for O. This month I have been adding CF to my charts but I am finding that I have little to none to really report ( I do check internally) and in the past I have never really had true EWCF, it never really stretches if anything I get watery and then creamy/sticky . I guess we will see how this month goes.

Best of luck to all of you wonderful ladies!

 

[Steel]

Bella: Thanks for sharing, it is great to be able to get to know you better. I know that PS is strict on blogs, but how could I find you on an internet search- if you don’t mind me looking?

KTF: Hi there, glad to see you posting. How was the healing process after your last surgery? I assume there aren’t any physical reasons why you need to avoid now?

LTP: Thanks, it had been on my mind a lot recently but I didn’t know if there would be the support. But there are so many people on the TTC uno thread that it seems like now is as good a time as any. I understand how anxious you might feel to try again and risk another loss, moreover the loss of ol’ lefty. I vehemently feel that this journey is very real and without honesty there is no point to posting at all. So vent when you want to – you might save somebody else the effort of writing exactly the same thing.

PT: I would love this to be a thread from which nobody needs to take a break. I felt uncomfortable that so many TTC’ers took to lurking and posting only very sporadically when I felt that they were the ones who had something to say/vent and sometimes needed a bit of support. When will you hear back about your referral?

MissJ: I’m very glad others understand why I did this. Thank you for sharing more about your position. As you know our SA is this month – you mentioned that your DH’s swimmers were tested – would you let me know more about that? Do you know anything about SA results? I assume you know about the B vitamins for LPD? I posted a chunk of info on TTC uno a few days back.

 

[sugarpie honeybun]

just a quick chime-

It's fun already starting to learn about Ethiopia. So, far, my fave thing is the Ethiopian/Amharic word for dog is Woosha. I love it Cracks me up everytime!

Bella - my dad is from Ethiopia. He's lived in the States for 35+ years, but most of my paternal side of the family still lives in Addis Ababa. I look forward to following your journey. It is a beautiful country with a very rich history!



Okay, back to lurking!

 

[CDNinNYC]

Steal, aka 'J', thanks so much for this thread. You put yourself out there and wrote what many of us were feeling. Bravo.

I've been off BCP since 2005 when DH (then BF) moved to the US to do his MBA. During this time while we were long-distance, I got a BFP. It was a great shock to us as it was obviously unplanned. Two days later, painful cramps started, (I hardly ever get cramps and when I do they're minimal) followed by a really heavy period with clots and what looked like tissue. I remember wondering, did I truly see what I saw on the pee-stick two days earlier? Was I wrong about the BFP? I don't know for sure as I never went to the doctor but in my heart I believe it was a very early miscarriage.

Fast forward to May 2009. DH and I are newly married and he asked if I was willing to wait a year. He's in a career that is very demanding of his time and didn't/doesn't want to be an absentee dad. His belief were that things would get better as time went on. Truthfully, I didn't want to wait but I respected where he was coming from and understood his desire to be as involved as possible with the raising of any children we have.

Exactly one year later, we're back in the country we married in for a good friend's wedding. It was like the stars were aligned. We were in Mexico, it was our 1st wedding anniversary, and I was due to O. Two weeks later, we got our BFP and I couldn't believe our luck! I become one of 'those people', you know, the jerkstores we jokingly tease about but secretly want to be. We were thrilled it happened so easily.

For two weeks I was on cloud 9. I did have very minimal spotting that was brown in colour but no cramping, so I didn't think it was anything I should worry about. The first weekend of July was a long-weekend in the US as well as DH's birthday and we planned to go to DC. We were due to catch a flight early Saturday morning so I spent part of Friday running errands. I was completely fine until I walked through the door around 5:30pm. I literally walked in and doubled over in pain. I knew immediately something was wrong and ran to the washroom to check for bleeding. There was none. I called DH at work. No answer. Called the doctor's office and got the on-call voice-service. They said they'd call me right back with the on-call doctor. I called DH again. No answer. The phone rang and it was the on-call doctor. He told me if the pain was worse than menstrual cramps, I should head to emergency. Well, considering I don't really get cramps, I thought it best to go. Tried DH again and finally got him on the phone. Explained what was happening and agreed to meet him outside our building to head to the hospital.

The time at the hospital seems so surreal now. Physically, I feel like I bounced back pretty quickly. Emotionally, I think I did too but there are definite bad moments. After my surgery I received access to view my medical reports from my stay in the hospital. It tore me up to read our baby still had a heart beat and was at the right gestational size for it's age. It tears me up inside every time I think of that.

So, here I am at an advanced maternal age, with two losses, and one tube. I have 32-37 day cycles (which drives me crazy) and a husband with a mistress called Work. Ugh. Honestly, if I could get pregnant by myself, I would. To add to this, I have way too much free time on my hands since I can't legally work in this country and while I volunteer three days a week, it's not enough to keep me distracted from baby-making. Double Ugh.

The one positive is that my doctor told me if nothing happens in 6 months, to give him a call and he'll refer me to an RE. It'd be great if it didn't come to that but I like the reassurance.

If you made it all the way to the end, thank you! I wasn't planning on going into so much detail but it feels good to get it out.

Hugs to everyone!

 

[Bella_mezzo]

CD-huge hugs to you!!!!! I have had so many friends lose a tube in the past few months, as well as all my PS friends. It's quite scary Glad you are here and we can vent together

Sugarpie-That is really amazing. We're fortunate that there is a huge Ethiopian community in NYC and it's really interesting and amazing learning about the culture, history, and people! I had a few Ethiopian friends in college, but non of them really talked about their country and/or their parents had emigrated to the US before they were born.

Steal-I know! I am not on facebook or anything, so I'm tricky to find. I know I've been able to find a few people on PS's blogs or other things by searching for unique words, phrases, or favorites they mentioned in posts. With the help of some crazy-mad cyber stalking skills, you might be able to find my blog (which also doesn't have any identifying information) but does provide info on our adoption process

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

KTF: Hi there, glad to see you posting. How was the healing process after your last surgery? I assume there aren’t any physical reasons why you need to avoid now?

Hi Steal - My OB is STRONGLY suggesting we sit out for a few months. She feels that there are some issues that my body does need a bit of time to resolve. But mostly our decision is based on financial and work rationales - we would both like to have a bit more expendable income at our disposal and DH is very close to a possible promotion which, should he get, would give us the additional disposable income we would want to have. If he doesn't get the promotion we will discuss what to do next. DH's company is weird - they review quarterly rather than yearly and two of the four quarters are ones in which an employee may be promoted. DH is unsure if it is this review period or the next happening in the spring. However, I am starting a few new large projects at work which I hope will build my experience and offer me more opportunities to move into upper management. I made it to management level, now I would like to get to the next step but not necessarily before children. Just trying to keep goals I have more control over in the forefront of my mind. It makes me feel a bit saner.

Since I feel okay speaking about this on this thread in depth as opposed to the TTC thread, my greatest sadness over all of this is that two surgeries so close together do carry a greater increase for scar tissue to develop. I think I feel very similar to how Charbie expressed her feelings. This loss devastated me and I am so terrified of going through this over again. Even typing that statement I can feel my eyes starting to burn. I saw my baby and her heartbeat. I should have had a less than 5% chance of miscarriage at that point. At least once a week I think of where I would have been in my pregnancy. I think often about February and how that would have been the month I'd be welcoming our little Bean into our home. Because DH moved some of the cat items into what would have been Bean's room, every time I am in there I look at the blank space and think "This is where the crib should have gone. Instead there is a litter box here". But I can't bring myself to delete the picture of Bean or the positive tests off my blackberry. I know that some day when I look at these things I won't feel this way. I guess I am just waiting for my someday...

 

[LadyBlue]

I have so much respect for all of you, but I have to take my hat off for the ladies that had suffer a miscarriage. It's just such a strong think to happen that you need so much straight to overcome the lost.

KTF, I want to send you extra hugs. I can not imagine the pain you have experience. But I know you are a very string women, and I know you have faith, don't lose the faith, never do. You are going to be a mother, I don't have any doubt. I'm sending you my prayers and a lot of Hugs.

 

[lili]

Hugs to everyone!

Since I don't know how to find my own emoticons or copy existing ones, I'll just quote CDN in hugs for everyone here.

Steal--
*hugs* and thank you for saying what most of us long-timer are feeling but afraid to say.
I think this thread is a fantastic idea and I think we needed it.
MissJaxon took the words out of my mouth regarding my feelings about those fortunate to get those BFPs so quickly.
I truly am happy for them that they do not have to endure the angst that we went through cycle after cycle,
but I admit that it does tug at my heart a bit when I see how easily it is for some people to get KU on their first try and sometimes w/o even trying.
That's great that you guys are proceeding w/ some investigative work. Hope the SA comes back w/ superb numbers. The numbers you've posted are what I remember too.
I don't know if I'll join you ladies on here, but I'll definitely come in and check ^.^
I hope that the members of the KTFUBC 2011 will have graduated by 2011.
Was going to comment about your surge on the OPK.
Mine is like that too. In fact, I think the surge went away in less than 24 hrs.
I tested at 3 pm and was negative, but got a smiley at 7 pm. And it was gone when I tested the next day at 3 pm.
I also found that my ewcm is abundant the night I got the smiley and becomes sticky the next night...so it leads me to think that I ovulated on the earlier side of the OPK surge detection.

Charbie--
That's what I heard too about being extra fertile the following months of a mc.
Unfortunately it wasn't true for me. But then again I was having trouble getting KU in the first place.
Since you were able to conceive easily the first time, I think you probably wouldn't have an issue getting KU again.
No negative thoughts now. I'll be Peter Pan and say "think happy thoughts".

Gaby--
I didn't know that you've been TTCing almost a year.
W/ the flurry of "blow-ins" it got a little hard to keep up w/ everyone.
Good luck w/ the exercise and acupuncture.
I have heard many good things about it. If it doesn't help you in the fertility department, at least it'll help regulate your body and well-being a little more.

RyanClaire--
for the good beta.
Continued dust for you. Did the dr say when they'll do an ultrasound?

Moxie--
I don't post often on the other thread, but I do lurk and send dust whenever I can ^.^

Bella--
Glad to hear that you guys are almost done w/ the initial phase of the adoption.
And how great is that you know you'll have a child in less than 15 months.
I hope you guys the best and that you get the referral soon.
Re: fertile family. Sometimes we are the odd sheep.
My mom has 6 kids and both my sisters had no problem conceiving 2 kids each.
I, on the other hand, took 3.5 years and a HSG and lap in order to conceive one.

CDN and LTP--
Don't underestimate the one-tube wonder.
One of my relative was diagnose w/ PCOS and only has one good ovary.
Dr told her that her chances of conceiving naturally is pretty slim.
Well, she's got 2 sons since the diagnosis.

ParrotTulips--
You recently had the HSG done?
How about SA for your DH?
I was actually surprise that your OB would proceed w/ Clomid and IUI w/o doing those tests first.
Anyway, hopefully you are one of those lucky ones who get preggo after the HSG ^>^

MissJaxon--
I didn't know that you've been TTC this long too.
I thought you just started recently on your honeymoon/vacation.
Good luck to you.

KTF--
*hugs* I'm sorry you went through so much w/ your mc.
Will the dr be able to do an u/s or some sort of scan to see if there are any scarring tissues as a result of the surgeries?

-------
Anyway, I'm cheering on all of you ladies!

 

[missjaxon]

Bella: Thanks for sharing, it is great to be able to get to know you better. I know that PS is strict on blogs, but how could I find you on an internet search- if you don’t mind me looking?

KTF: Hi there, glad to see you posting. How was the healing process after your last surgery? I assume there aren’t any physical reasons why you need to avoid now?

LTP: Thanks, it had been on my mind a lot recently but I didn’t know if there would be the support. But there are so many people on the TTC uno thread that it seems like now is as good a time as any. I understand how anxious you might feel to try again and risk another loss, moreover the loss of ol’ lefty. I vehemently feel that this journey is very real and without honesty there is no point to posting at all. So vent when you want to – you might save somebody else the effort of writing exactly the same thing.

PT: I would love this to be a thread from which nobody needs to take a break. I felt uncomfortable that so many TTC’ers took to lurking and posting only very sporadically when I felt that they were the ones who had something to say/vent and sometimes needed a bit of support. When will you hear back about your referral?

MissJ: I’m very glad others understand why I did this. Thank you for sharing more about your position. As you know our SA is this month – you mentioned that your DH’s swimmers were tested – would you let me know more about that? Do you know anything about SA results? I assume you know about the B vitamins for LPD? I posted a chunk of info on TTC uno a few days back.

I would love to share our experience. It was a very easy process for him - basically my OB gave him a lab slip and we picked up a sample cup from our local lab and after I believe 3 days of abstaining, then he ...... you know produced his sample at home and then quickly drove it to the drop off at our hospital (about 15 mins away). He kept the sample under his shirt close to his body to keep the swimmers at the right temp. He said it was easy peasy and he really had no issues with having to do it. When the doctor suggested it he was all for it. He has seen me go thru a lot in regards to doctors appointments and all of that fun stuff and was more than willing to do his share in this TTC journey.

Unfortunately I am not very educated in SA results - All I know is that my OB read us the results and said his count was great and he had a lower than average morphology, but that it was of no concern at this point and that she considered the results great.

I wish you guys oodles of luck with your SA this month, I know it is nerve wracking and I kept thinking "what if?!" ,it is actually quite scarey and I was concerned for my DH because I know it would have been a blow to his ego and more if his results weren't satisfactory. I feel that in all of this I can take my issues in stride and be strong, but I had to prepare myself for the possibility that I would have to be there to support him in this too. Thankfully for us he got an A+ on his swimmer report card. I am hoping the same for you and your DH.

 

[charbie]

Speaking of fertile familes (lili, bella)....everyone...
I seriously feel like my mom/mil don't really "get it" that people can have problems getting/staying pregnant. When I had to tell them about the m/c, it was like they just didn't get it since it didn't happen to them. It was like if it didn't happen to them, why would it happen to me? Let's ignore the fact that I had an aunt with 2 m/cs, and DH had a cousin with an m/c...but no, I mean, they got pregnant whenever they tried. But yeah, its super scary for me to try again, even if I get pregnant quickly, I'm scared to be pregnant and extended this process even further!

 

[missjaxon]

Hugs to everyone!

Since I don't know how to find my own emoticons or copy existing ones, I'll just quote CDN in hugs for everyone here.

Steal--
*hugs* and thank you for saying what most of us long-timer are feeling but afraid to say.
I think this thread is a fantastic idea and I think we needed it.
MissJaxon took the words out of my mouth regarding my feelings about those fortunate to get those BFPs so quickly.
I truly am happy for them that they do not have to endure the angst that we went through cycle after cycle,
but I admit that it does tug at my heart a bit when I see how easily it is for some people to get KU on their first try and sometimes w/o even trying.
That's great that you guys are proceeding w/ some investigative work. Hope the SA comes back w/ superb numbers. The numbers you've posted are what I remember too.
I don't know if I'll join you ladies on here, but I'll definitely come in and check ^.^
I hope that the members of the KTFUBC 2011 will have graduated by 2011.
Was going to comment about your surge on the OPK.
Mine is like that too. In fact, I think the surge went away in less than 24 hrs.
I tested at 3 pm and was negative, but got a smiley at 7 pm. And it was gone when I tested the next day at 3 pm.
I also found that my ewcm is abundant the night I got the smiley and becomes sticky the next night...so it leads me to think that I ovulated on the earlier side of the OPK surge detection.

Charbie--
That's what I heard too about being extra fertile the following months of a mc.
Unfortunately it wasn't true for me. But then again I was having trouble getting KU in the first place.
Since you were able to conceive easily the first time, I think you probably wouldn't have an issue getting KU again.
No negative thoughts now. I'll be Peter Pan and say "think happy thoughts".

Gaby--
I didn't know that you've been TTCing almost a year.
W/ the flurry of "blow-ins" it got a little hard to keep up w/ everyone.
Good luck w/ the exercise and acupuncture.
I have heard many good things about it. If it doesn't help you in the fertility department, at least it'll help regulate your body and well-being a little more.

RyanClaire--
for the good beta.
Continued dust for you. Did the dr say when they'll do an ultrasound?

Moxie--
I don't post often on the other thread, but I do lurk and send dust whenever I can ^.^

Bella--
Glad to hear that you guys are almost done w/ the initial phase of the adoption.
And how great is that you know you'll have a child in less than 15 months.
I hope you guys the best and that you get the referral soon.
Re: fertile family. Sometimes we are the odd sheep.
My mom has 6 kids and both my sisters had no problem conceiving 2 kids each.
I, on the other hand, took 3.5 years and a HSG and lap in order to conceive one.

CDN and LTP--
Don't underestimate the one-tube wonder.
One of my relative was diagnose w/ PCOS and only has one good ovary.
Dr told her that her chances of conceiving naturally is pretty slim.
Well, she's got 2 sons since the diagnosis.

ParrotTulips--
You recently had the HSG done?
How about SA for your DH?
I was actually surprise that your OB would proceed w/ Clomid and IUI w/o doing those tests first.
Anyway, hopefully you are one of those lucky ones who get preggo after the HSG ^>^

MissJaxon--
I didn't know that you've been TTC this long too.
I thought you just started recently on your honeymoon/vacation.
Good luck to you.

KTF--
*hugs* I'm sorry you went through so much w/ your mc.
Will the dr be able to do an u/s or some sort of scan to see if there are any scarring tissues as a result of the surgeries?

-------
Anyway, I'm cheering on all of you ladies!

Yes, unfortunately it has been that long for us as well. I was not actively posting in the TTC for most of it just because of all of the struggles and I felt a little intimidated by it all. It was the kindness and wisdom of Dreamer that got me posting - it all started with a question about my chart and that was my "in" . I am still a bit of a straggler as I don't post religiously and more often than not find myself lurking.

My now DH and I have been together for almost 11 years now and so we made it official, but have always known we wanted a family, just never thought it would be this complicated. I never ever thought about the possibility of complications TTC. I grew up thinking you decide to have kids and *POOF* it happens. I am so thankful that I one day stumbled across the PS community because in RL I don't often see behind the scenes of others lives and so sharing in the joys and sadness of it with others who are so willing to be open and real about it all is a blessing to me.

I wish the best for all of you ladies and am really hoping we all get to graduate from here and SOON!

 

[Po10472]

Steal honey, thanks so much for starting this thread.

Ok where to begin, DH and I have been married for 6 years and have been actively ttc for a long time. I've not been on bc since my twenties due to complications so we don't use any bc at all. I'm of advanced maternal age, 38 and dh is 41 and I've not had a viable pg as yet although I have had 2 cps, one in May 10 and May 09. I have always had regular as clockwork cycles which vary between 28-30 days each month and have done since I was 11. I know when I ov roughly but after a while we decided to double check and bought the CBFM. I have been using it since January and have a peak every month around cd14/15 which has been great but whether or not I'm actually ov'ing is another matter entirely. We're going to go back to the drs and get checked out in the New Year to make sure.

The biggest barrier we've had in our ttc journey has been my bmi. I've always had a weight problem but put on a lot of weight after my previous relationship broke down and haven't been able to shift it. I'm extremely healthy and fit and eat well but I'm heavier than what I look and I'm not considered for any assistance until I get my bmi down to within the acceptable range. My dr keeps saying that I'll fall pg once I've lost more weight and may also be taking longer due to my age, but this isn't cutting the mustard anymore. I've lost 50lbs so far and have another 50 to go to get within that 'acceptable' range so that's my goal for the next 6 months. It's been a long hard emotional struggle which I've done on my own with no help from my GP and all I hear is tick, tick, tick in my head as I hurtle towards 39, 40.... I feel extremely pressured and guilty that it might be my weight that is stopping us from falling pg and constantly beat myself up about it. I have to find that resolve and determination and positive mental attitude to keep going, to keep going to my exercise classes and cutting out the crap foods but its sooooo hard. Especially when the 2ww stops you in your tracks. It can be all consuming, literally.

I posted this on the 'official thread' but thought I'd post it here too. I inentionally kept off my ttc boards as the last 2ww has been hard. I honestly thought we had done it this time. I started getting mild cramps from 4dpo and this continued up to 10dpo where I had the strongest shooting pains for about 20mins in my right ovary. I'd never experienced this before and thought ooooh this must be implantation and allowed myself to hope. I've been dogtired and very hormonal so definitely felt like there was something going on but also doubting myself that my mind was playing tricks on me. Then on Wednesday - poof........nothing, no cramps, no hormones, I felt fantastic and positive and realised that it hadn't happened. Af arrived yesterday with her suitcase.

Last night we were at the fireworks show (Guy Fawkes/Bonfire Night here in Scotland) and it was just all kids and mums and dads and there's me and dh standing like lemons. It's an ache in the belly which I'm sure you've all experienced. I have 2 close friends who are pg just now and I have a lump in my throat when I see them although I'm thrilled for them. One fell pg but wasn't trying, the other tried for 8 months. I have another friend who only had 1 ovary and managed to fall pg within 3 months, wtf!!

Anyhoo, I'm hoping that the looks of pity from family and friends and constant questions from my wonderful nieces about when they're getting a baby cousin will stop when we can announce our pg and I'm soooo looking forward to that day, not just for me but for all of us who are sharing this journey together.

Sorry this has been a long one and hop that you've not drifted off and now drooling on your keyboards.

Po
x

 

[parrot tulips]

Bella - Thanks for response. Right now adoption feels like a far off discussion, but we agreed to revisit the subject in another year if we're not pregnant by then (which will probably fly by). I'll have to look up the other discussion you mentioned. I think my husband would prefer not to do an international adoption, but he may be open to Korea (since I'm Korean). I appreciate your openness and willingness to share.

Steal - I've got my RE referral, and an appointment to see him on the 16th. I'm very excited. It'll be nice to see someone who doesn't answer all of my questions with, "You ovulate on your own, so don't worry about it."

Lili - I just had my HSG done last cycle, but my OB had completed all my preliminary blood work, as well as my husband's SA, before our first appointment with him. All of our tests look text book perfect, and my cycles have been super regular since day 1 (28 days, with the rare 29 day cycle). He figured a low dose of Clomid and unmonitored IUI's would be a good starting point, but I'm ready to move forward. In my case, that means discussing the next steps with an RE.