The Official TTC for 6 Months or More Thread

[royalasscherlover]

jgator, great news! I really hope everything continues to go well for you.

I have my bloodwork and repeat hysteroscopy this afternoon, so should know more next week.

 

[JGator]

Good luck today SB! Thinking of you.

Rt, thanks for checking in.

Avia, good luck with your appt next week. Will be crossing fingers that you get a good plan in place.

AFM, not much new. Just biding my time till ultrasound in 11 days. Hoping I make it that far too. I am still POASing like a mad woman.

 

[lliang_chi]

Many congrats JG!!! So happy for you! Your US date will be here before you know it

SB, hoping your results look promising. Great news on the healthy embies though

Tourmaline, welcome back

Avia, hoping your appointment was fruitful

AFM, Apologies for my absence. I had to take a few weeks off from this thread. We've still been unsuccessful. I'm now 2DPO and we had decent timing (better than we ever had O-1, O-2). I'm still feeling unenthusiastic/jaded. It's kinda hard to stay positive so I'm just going to let things happen when they do. I'll test next weekend. This was the 1st cycle I started using OPKs again. And they were expired. Oh well, better than nothing.

 

[aviastar]

LC, I'm so sorry things are still so rough. We all know what it feels like to simply NOT be able to pick yourself up yet again and go at TTC with a will.

Taking time off does seem to help, but it always came crashing back in on me every time I started up again. Are you still seeing the therapist? Have you asked about any medications? I can personally endorse zoloft!

 

[monkeyprincess]

LC, keeping everything crossed for you that things are going to turn around soon, hopefully, this cycle. I've been thinking about you and hoping you are doing okay. Take good care of yourself!

Random, well, obviously, this is not the path you were hoping for, but I'm glad you are at least not dealing with as much stress. I hope things are going well with your family and your new job.

Aviastar, good luck with your appointment!

SB, hoping you were able to gain more insights into any potential issues, and even more hopeful, that to the extent there is something preventing implantation, you will be able to fix it. You've had a tough road, and it's really about time you caught a break!

Thinking of all of you!

 

[lliang_chi]

OK guys, I'm really really sorry to be such a Negative Nancy in my last post. There's lots for me to be thankful for, and I don't doubt it, but as all of you know, sometimes it's just freaking hard. Anyway, I guess, like everything, it all cycles when I feel good, then jaded, then good etc. I'm feeling pretty good now.

Since Avia asked, no I didn't get any medication recommendations. Neither of the therapists I spoke with thought I needed them. Not that I'm looking for a freebie or whatever, so I'll put faith in their judgement and just try sticking to the plan the 2nd therapist laid out for me. The first lady gave me nothing. Like literally, "Well, sounds like you're just sad. And that's normal." Umm... really? They gave you a degree for this? Anyway, the 2nd therapist said the same thing, but also added, "But I think we can form a plan and you can try focusing on that to help lift you up a little." So we started with a small plan. Little goals, like going to the gym once a week, and limiting my bullsh!t time at work to only 4-10 or 15 min intervals. Then my sis gave me a pretty good idea on how to focus my downtime to something productive, so I've been doing that. I have to admit, I feel better. More productive and more like my old self. It helped to have finally received a good employee eval too

SB, Any word on your test results?

Avia, Have you had your appointment yet? I'm glad Zoloft is helping you so much.=. I find it so frustrating that we as women get such a short end of the stick with everything. Not that I'm a crazy man-hater or anything, but 1) we're unequal in the work place 2) society puts all these BS pressures and double standards on girls/women 3) women typically do the lion's share of parenting and household chores, even if both partners are FT out of the home AND we get put through the wringer during TTCing especially if it's a long journey like it has been for us. Like it's not uncommon for a woman to seek out therapy if a couple has been having difficulty TTC. But it's not like the man is going through the same emotional roller coaster. Seriously, if I ruled the universe I'd totally make it more equal!

~LC

 

[aviastar]

Thanks for asking LC, I had my appointment this morning.

I was very pleased with my appointment; I liked this new practice very much and I have some more appointments set up in the coming weeks and things and test results and stuff develop. I'll keep you all updated!

 

[JGator]

LC, good to hear from you. Congrats on the employee eval and also coming up with plans and productive things to work on. I wish you the best.

Avia, yay for a good appt. Good luck going forward.

AFM, not much new - 6 days till the ultrasound. I got an appt with my PCP to get my TSH checked tomorrow, but now it looks like they will be closed due to snow. I'm really not holding up well in this wait for the ultrasound - 6 painful days to go. I'm so worried about an early loss as I have no symptoms. The lines are fine on the wondfo, but I wonder if they would change if anything bad did happen at this point. Need to remember to just breathe - anxiety is not fun.

 

[royalasscherlover]

jgator, I'm sorry you are feeling anxious - it's terrible what this process does to us. Between my own experience and the things others have experienced online and in my real-life support group, I know nothing is ever guaranteed. It makes me really sad to know that even if I get through the infertility, I have been robbed of a normal and happy pregnancy experience - to feel excited when I get a positive pregnancy test rather than fear of being on the roller coaster again.

as, glad to hear that your appointment went well and you liked the new practice. Good luck!

lc, it is so hard - don't feel bad about being negative sometimes. We get it. Your second therapist sounds helpful and it's great that you are able to channel some of this into more productivity that is noticed at work.

mp, thanks for thinking of me.

afm, all my test results came back normal. Good news, but between that and the embryo testing, no one has any idea why I'm not getting and staying pregnant I started Lupron last night to do one more transfer of known genetically normal embryos at the end of this month and we're debating between transferring 1 and 2. If this doesn't work, I'll probably be moving to a new RE and maybe looking into the reproductive immunology stuff, though I can't decide if it's just mumbo jumbo and my immune tests were all normal.

 

[JGator]

SB, good luck. Sounds like you have a good plan considering all your tests came back normal. Maybe for some reason the embies they transferred previously were not genetically normal. I hope this is it for you. Keep an eye on your TSH though when you do get pregnant again as I have read stories about that being a factor in early miscarriages which is easily preventable. Mine goes up in pregnancy, and I had to take something last time to keep it in check.

 

[random_thought]

Just poppin in to let you guys know what I've been up to! So, I've been able to keep my thoughts off ttc because for the last 7 months I've been working on a social media campaign for endometriosis awareness month I've been leading a group of about 1,000 women and so far our website has been seen in 91 countries by 26,000 people! I've designed the website, graphics and set up all of the social media! Last night we hosted a live q&a with one of the best endometriosis specialists in the world! 550 attended and it was incredible! Anyways, I wanted to post the link to the q&a here because I had a lot of questions answered about endometriosis that I never would have thought to ask. If I remember correctly, a few others on here have endo as well so I hope it helps you a bit too

http://www.endochallenge.com/03052015-dr-ken-sinervo/

Random thought, over and out!

 

[royalasscherlover]

Rt, how cool! Glad it's going so well.

Jgator, thanks. I'm already on thyroid meds and my RE immediately upped my dose when I got pregnant in December, so hopefully that's covered.

 

[JGator]

SB, that's great that you are on top of your thyroid. Mine seems to be okay so far. So, of course, I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. Did you decide if you want to transfer 1 or 2 yet? Still planning to transfer at the end of the month? Keep us posted. I wish you healthy, sticky dust!

Avia, how are the tests coming along? Hope things continue to go well for you.

 

[random_thought]

Kind of slow in here! I keep checking back hoping for positive tests!

AFM: I found a natural herb blend that has a lot of ingredients that can help endometriosis symptoms. It's *ahem* a fertility blend to help you get pregnant. I'm mainly taking it for the endometriosis but if it magically helps me get pregnant, I suppose I wouldn't be upset

 

[JGator]

LC, how are you? Miss hearing from you.

SB, did you transfer yet? Did you decide on 1 or 2? Good luck.

Avia, where are you in the testing/cycling process?

RT, good to hear you are back in TTC-ville. I wish you the best!!!

 

[aviastar]

J an RT- you are both so good about checking in with everyone!

I've been...holding out on you guys. Straight up fear, mostly, but here it is- I'm pregnant!

I'll be 13 weeks on Sunday and all looks good so far. I did get extra bloodwork early on because of my previous m/c and we found that my progesterone was pretty low, so I've been supplementing and it seems to be doing it's job. I was told I could stop last week, but um, yea, I'm not stopping yet...too scary!

We did the non-invasive testing last week, so we should hear about our odds and the gender (!!!) next week. I may start to dip my toes in the Calling all thread but, I'm still very nervous and a little scared to acknowledge this out loud too much.

Hoping everyone else is trucking along with positive updates, too!

 

[Lavender_81]

J an RT- you are both so good about checking in with everyone!

I've been...holding out on you guys. Straight up fear, mostly, but here it is- I'm pregnant!

I'll be 13 weeks on Sunday and all looks good so far. I did get extra bloodwork early on because of my previous m/c and we found that my progesterone was pretty low, so I've been supplementing and it seems to be doing it's job. I was told I could stop last week, but um, yea, I'm not stopping yet...too scary!

We did the non-invasive testing last week, so we should hear about our odds and the gender (!!!) next week. I may start to dip my toes in the Calling all thread but, I'm still very nervous and a little scared to acknowledge this out loud too much.

Hoping everyone else is trucking along with positive updates, too!

Wow, aviastar, congrats!!! I mostly lurk on this thread, but have been following your story and I'm so happy for you! Fingers crossed for happy and healthy 9 months!

If you're not ready for the big thread yet, you can always join us over in the JBP for a little while...

So happy for you and hope you continue to feel good!!

 

[Loves Vintage]

Aviastar - Congrats!! So happy for you!! Wow, if I ever have a secret, I am going to tell you!!!!!! I can't believe you're almost 13 weeks already!! When you are ready, sing it to the world, sister!!! So so happy for you!!!

 

[JGator]

Woo hoo, Avia!!!! Come join Lavender and me in JBP-ville. Congrats!!!!

 

[monkeyprincess]

Aviastar, shame on you for keeping it a secret! Just kidding - I completely understand your apprehension. But I am just THRILLED for you, and I hope everything continues to go well!!! I just had a feeling it wouldn't be long until you were pregnant again.

SB, I've been thinking a lot about you and hope things are going okay. I do hope you'll keep us posted on any developments in your journey, but regardless, I'm hoping for the best for you!

LC, I've missed hearing from you too and hope you are doing okay. So hoping you will get good news!

RT, good luck to you! I hope the break was good for you!

 

[random_thought]

YAY!!! Congrats Aviastar!!!

 

[BrightSpot]

Aviastar, I'm so incredibly happy for you!! Huge congrats!! I hope you're feeling a bit more relaxed about everything & I'm eager to hear your gender news.

SB, I think of you often & am focusing lots of baby thoughts your way. It's way past your turn, lady. Hugs.

You too, RT!

 

[aviastar]

You guys are the best! Thank you so much for all the kind words and congratulations.

It's getting easier to relax as we go and I'm starting to feel much better, so onwards and upwards!

 

[royalasscherlover]

aviastar, congrats! I too am impressed with your secret-keeping skills. I hope everything continues to go well for you.

So, I guess I'm the only one left trying. I'd be lying if I said that wasn't depressing. I've watched so, so many people not only in my regular life, but in various infertility communities get pregnant and have babies....just not me. My lining is once again not cooperating this cycle, so my transfer has been postponed. It's growing very slowly, so perhaps we'll get there in another week or two, but it's been very frustrating. The inability to predict or plan anything in my life is so wearing.

I'm not sure how much I'll continue to post. I don't have much positive to contribute. I'm so burnt out and discouraged and feel like I have no real hope left that I'll be able to have a healthy child. I don't trust my embryos or my own body anymore. It's been a far rougher road than I ever could have imagined.

jgator, mp, and bright, thanks so much for rooting for me and continuing to keep me in your thoughts. Your support has meant tremendous amount to me.

 

[JGator]

Hi, SB, sorry about the lining troubles. And, I am also sorry that you feel left behind. I know how that feels - it is the story of my life as I got married at 40 and did everything much later than everyone I know. I am really pulling for you that your lining will improve. You should have hope because you do have PGS normal embryos waiting - it's just a matter of getting one or more to stick already! I am so sorry. RT is still around and trying (she joined the other TTC thread) if that helps you feel any better. I also know that LC is out there, and I'm sure she's still in the game, too. LC, come back and check in please! Have you looked at Resolve too? They have a lot of great threads - I follow the one about people who have been trying for a long time who keep trying -the one called I can't believe I'm doing this again. Please do post as a lot of us are really pulling for you and will keep you company as you wait for your lining and all the subsequent steps on this path. Good luck and keep in touch.

 

[aviastar]

SB, I am so sorry you are still having to deal with all this stuff. Please know we are all rooting for you, and even if you don't post often, we would all love updates when you have them- good bad and ugly.

It's so much more than frustrating when you can't trust your own body- it's grief, it's betrayal, it's trauma. But I truly believe that you will have the family you want to have, one way or another. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[parrot tulips]

Oh SB...I rarely post anymore, but I wanted to respond to you. I'm so very sorry you're feeling such sadness, but please don't feel alone. An acquaintance of mine has been trying everything under the sun for years and years without luck, and I'm still trying myself. I'm in the midst of my first round of IVF, but in 4 1/2 (or is it 5 now...?) years and 8 rounds of medicated IUI's, I've only managed to get one positive pregnancy test. Unexplained infertility. I'm fortunate to have my daughter. I remind myself of this often. But her twin brother was stillborn. Unknown reasons. Sometimes I wonder if that's why I don't feel my family is quite complete yet. Or if it's simply because I want just one more child. But I know what it is to feel sad and discouraged and disappointed and angry and frustrated. And the awful unfounded guilt I feel for so many stupid reasons. Luckily the good stuff in my life takes up more space than the bad, so the dark, broody feelings don't typically overwhelm me, but I certainly have my bad days. I hope you have many more good days than bad, and am keeping you in my thoughts through this shared, trying journey.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

SB-I am so sorry you feel left behind. I felt the same way for a long time during our 4+ year TTC journey. TTC can be such a hard and brutal road. I am still here lurking (and would be TTC if DH and I could ever find time to actually be together )

PT-I am sorry that your TTC journey is still ongoing but glad to see you and hope this IVF cycle is the one!

 

[monkeyprincess]

SB, big hugs. It sucks that your journey continues and you keep running into roadblocks. I wish there were more answers for you. You've probably heard it all, but I've seen people take viagra to improve lining. Might not hurt to ask. There is also a test to see if your lining is receptive at the right time. I know how much it must sting to feel left behind. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and look forward to the day you have good news to share.

PT, I was thinking of you the other day and remembered your story with the loss of your little boy and your struggle to conceive again. I hope things go well with your IVF. This time around IUIs didn't work for me, but IVF helped overcome whatever our issues were that were preventing conception. Best wishes to you!

 

[choro72]

SB, I'm so sorry you're down, so sorry about your lining. I can't pretend to know what to say, but I'll still be cheering you on if you choose not to post.