Ten reasons a diamond is better than a man

[jetcaptain]

This post will be proof positive that I have too much free time these days. It may be politically incorrect, insensitive, a waste of bandwidth, and may get me kicked off the forum. These are just some things that happened to come to mind as I'm typing. Feel free to add to the list. I hope at least SOME of them are funny, but don't count on it.

1. Diamonds don't leave the toilet seat up.
2. A diamond is forever--a man????
3. Diamonds don't snore.
4. A diamond will still look great 30 years from now.
5. A diamond will not leave dirty clothes on the floor and expect you to pick them up, wash them, fold them, and put them away.
6. A diamond is always ready to go out to dinner at a fancy restaurant.
7. Diamonds don't put cold feet on your bare skin underneath the covers.
8. If a diamond came home with a few of its friends, that would actually be a GOOD thing.
9. A diamond doesn't whimper for attention when you've got a headache.
10. Diamonds look their best when they're shiny on top--men just look like they're getting old when they're shiny on top.

If you like this thread, perhaps we can do another one that lists reasons why a diamond is better than a woman?

 

[pricescope]

Jetcaptain, good stuff

Don't be concerned about bandwidth - let's make this place less serious.

Diamonds should be for fun.

 

[Mara]

Oh yes diamond bringing friends home is a very good thing!!!!

I'm a woman so its okay for ME to say this:

A reason a diamond is better than a woman is...they are beautiful AND silent.

 

[student]

I'll take a woman over a diamond any day. Now a Porsche, that would be different....

(Just kidding!)

 

[mike04456]

I think you forgot the most obvious one:

11. Diamonds are the hardest substance on earth, and stay that way forever.

 

[jetcaptain]

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On 12/10/2002 12:56:34 PM

Jetcaptain, good stuff

Don't be concerned about bandwidth - let's make this place less serious.

Diamonds should be for fun.
----------------

Okay boss, with your permission, here goes. The same politically-incorrect disclaimer applies.

Ten reasons a diamond is better than a woman:

1. A diamond nevers whines that you won't open up and share your feelings.
2. A diamond doesn't get jealous when you admire other beautiful diamonds.
3. Even if you buy on credit, your payments on a diamond eventually will end.
4. A diamond will never get between you and the television during the Super Bowl.
5. A well-proportioned diamond will still be well-proportioned twenty years from now.
6. A diamond will never suggest that its mother ought to come and live with you.
7. A diamond won't drop not-so-subtle hints that the grass in the front yard is getting a little bit tall.
8. A diamond doesn't think you're shallow just because you like the way it looks.
9. A diamond only has to look good to the naked eye--a woman has to look good naked.
10. If you get sick and tired of a diamond, you can always get rid of it on eBay!

 

[mike04456]

I thought of a few more--you guys decide which gender they apply to.

11. It's possible to measure the brilliance of a diamond.
12. Flawless diamonds actually exist.
13. The supply of quality diamonds on the market is increasing.
14. You can find a good diamond over the internet.

 

[DiamondOptics]

Don't forget,


Diamonds don't rust.



Kirk
www.diamondoptics.com

 

[aljdewey]

Pardon me for running in the opposite direction on this one, but I'd prefer to focus on the 10 reasons a man is BETTER than a diamond:

1. Diamonds can't wrap their arms around you.
2. Diamonds can't deliver the soft kiss on the
back of your neck that makes you weak in the
knees.
3. Unlike a good man, a diamond cannot serve you
coffee in bed.
4. A diamond cannot tell you that the dress
you're wearing looks fabulous on you.
5. A diamond cannot make you laugh out loud with
a well-timed witty remark.
6. A diamond cannot open the door for you.
7. It's much harder to find the right man than
the right diamond.
8. The diamond will always have a defined value,
but the right man is priceless.
9. Did I mention KISSING???? mmmmmmm
10. The diamond, while beautiful, would not mean
nearly as much if it did not represent the
pledge of the right man's love.

 

[lawmax]

----------------
On 12/10/2002 5:00:17 PM

Pardon me for running in the opposite direction on this one, but I'd prefer to focus on the 10 reasons a man is BETTER than a diamond:

1. Diamonds can't wrap their arms around you.
2. Diamonds can't deliver the soft kiss on the
back of your neck that makes you weak in the
knees.
3. Unlike a good man, a diamond cannot serve you
coffee in bed.
4. A diamond cannot tell you that the dress
you're wearing looks fabulous on you.
5. A diamond cannot make you laugh out loud with
a well-timed witty remark.
6. A diamond cannot open the door for you.
7. It's much harder to find the right man than
the right diamond.
8. The diamond will always have a defined value,
but the right man is priceless.
9. Did I mention KISSING???? mmmmmmm
10. The diamond, while beautiful, would not mean
nearly as much if it did not represent the
pledge of the right man's love.


----------------

 

[ready]

and...

12) Diamonds weigh the same 20 years from now.