Stephanie, if a mom is put in a position to question the fidelity of her husband, this puts the home in a position of instability. Instability is harmful to children, who are at the mercy.
Your husband was screwing with your head with his comments when you raised the topic re the coworker, how is that supportive of the marriage and the family? He could have said "Stephanie, I am so sorry and I'm shutting this down immediately, no more texts and no socializing outside work. It wasn't my intention to give her the impression that I was available. I caused this and I will end it." Nope, he did what guilty people do: He threw it back on you. I have seen people at work act like they are single, we all have. My husband has never received texts from female coworkers outside work. He has never gotten personal enough with female coworkers to suggest double dating. My ex-husband got texts from the RN he worked with, phone calls on weekends, he knew all about her dissatisfaction with her husband, and he really wanted all of us to socialize on weekends. He is my ex husband. I'm not suggesting you should split up, btw.
You've said he gets mad----that affects the atmosphere of your children's home. Enough of that atmosphere of walking on eggshells, not knowing what you can count on from your parents, and you've got a chronic traumatic environment. You may have dulled yourself to it as a way to cope with his anger, but your kids...
Your husband was screwing with your head with his comments when you raised the topic re the coworker, how is that supportive of the marriage and the family? He could have said "Stephanie, I am so sorry and I'm shutting this down immediately, no more texts and no socializing outside work. It wasn't my intention to give her the impression that I was available. I caused this and I will end it." Nope, he did what guilty people do: He threw it back on you. I have seen people at work act like they are single, we all have. My husband has never received texts from female coworkers outside work. He has never gotten personal enough with female coworkers to suggest double dating. My ex-husband got texts from the RN he worked with, phone calls on weekends, he knew all about her dissatisfaction with her husband, and he really wanted all of us to socialize on weekends. He is my ex husband. I'm not suggesting you should split up, btw.
You've said he gets mad----that affects the atmosphere of your children's home. Enough of that atmosphere of walking on eggshells, not knowing what you can count on from your parents, and you've got a chronic traumatic environment. You may have dulled yourself to it as a way to cope with his anger, but your kids...