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Style Check... Or Not!

seaurchin

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Nov 2, 2012
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I wish I could get paid to do quick critiques on people's style lol. No, I wouldn't even need to be paid haha. Of course I keep my mouth shut because I am a giant chicken. But do you too have a habit of noticing things that people could do that would improve their style a lot and have to suppress the urge to tell them ALL about it?

What are they? It's okay, you can tell US. :)
 

dk168

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I wish I could get paid to do quick critiques on people's style lol. No, I wouldn't even need to be paid haha. Of course I keep my mouth shut because I am a giant chicken. But do you too have a habit of noticing things that people could do that would improve their style a lot and have to suppress the urge to tell them ALL about it?

What are they? It's okay, you can tell US. :)
I can't give false compliments, and would stay quiet than to say anything that would hurt someone's feelings.

Easy to keep quiet on message boards and social media. However, if someone ask me face to face, my immediate respond, especially from peeps who do not know me well, is something in the line of "are you sure you can handle the truth?" :lol-2:

DK :))
 

seaurchin

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This thread was inspired by another thread asking about what would be a good size for a pearl earring gift. It reminded me of an acquaintance of mine who always wears teeny white pearl earrings (maybe 6mm). She is an older woman who, in my opinion, otherwise has good style sense. I always want to tell her that 11-12mm pearl studs would look so much more elegant and polished on her but I have never figured out how to politely butt my nose into her business to deliver the unrequested instructions ha.
 

missy

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I generally can always find something I like about everyone. Be it style or sense of humor or wit. I notice the whole more than specifics but I do love style and clothes and jewelry (of course haha) and I do notice specific things. I also notice hair because I loathe mine and always admire other's hair. I never give compliments that are not from my heart.

Do I comment on things that can be improved? No, not unless I am asked to by that person. Otherwise it isn't any of my business. All bets are off when it comes to my dh of course. However, fortunately (or unfortunately lol since I have nothing to do or improve for him) his fashion sense is impeccable and he has never needed my help in that area. Ever. He is always put together perfectly IMO and always looks sharp and smart and stylish. He is IMO pretty darn perfect outside and on the inside too.

:halo:
 

missy

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This thread was inspired by another thread asking about what would be a good size for a pearl earring gift. It reminded me of an acquaintance of mine who always wears teeny white pearl earrings (maybe 6mm). She is an older woman who, in my opinion, otherwise has good style sense. I always want to tell her that 11-12mm pearl studs would look so much more elegant and polished on her but I have never figured out how to politely butt my nose into her business to deliver the unrequested instructions ha.
If she were a good friend I think yes you could mention it or even better purchase the earrings for her for a special occasion if you had that kind of relationship. But since she is *just* an acquaintance I wouldn't. You can think it but I would keep it to yourself unless asked. JMO.
 

Polabowla

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Ugh yeah I need a personal stylist who could help me figure out how to dress comfortably but in a flattering way.
This year i tried to get rid of most of my baggy comfy stuff & now i regret it....

I will not be the one to point out style errors, as you can see I wouldn't know lol
 

AllAboardTheBlingTrain

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I won’t ever comment out loud unless it’s someone I’m exceptionally close to (who values my feedback) and then also only if it’s something that can be improved or changed, but I sure as hell will think it. It’s not style specific either, in the sense, even if that person picks styles or patterns or fabrics that I don’t personally like, but it suits them, I don’t think negatively of it. But even if that person’s outfit is otherwise lovely but doesn’t suit them well I instantly notice and wish they’d done something different.

For example, a really good friend of mine wore a black gown for her wedding reception which I liked (or at least didn’t mind the idea the designer was going for), but it was badly finished and badly fitting, it drove me nuts to see (especially since I knew she spent a lot of money on it). But there was no good saying anything then, so I just kept my mouth shut and told her she looked beautiful. She did, because she is, but the outfit was a travesty.
 

seaurchin

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If she were a good friend I think yes you could mention it or even better purchase the earrings for her for a special occasion if you had that kind of relationship. But since she is *just* an acquaintance I wouldn't. You can think it but I would keep it to yourself unless asked. JMO.
Yes, we are just acquaintances so I think it would be rude or just weird to tell her I don't like her earrings lol. I notice things like that a lot though and also wonder what people would say to me. Of course there are far more important things in the world but just wondering if other people notice this kind of thing too. I love those TV shows where they give people makeovers.

I also know a guy in his late forties who does not do well with the ladies and seems quite miserable about it. He is not a bad looking guy except that he has very noticeable pock marks or acne scars. He is also kind of shy and awkward but if I were in his position, I'd definitely want to increase my chances with any quick fix that might help with first impressions. Every time I see him I want to tell him to get his face lasered but yeah, that might not go over so well. :)

I used to have a friend who would tell me these things whether I liked it or not. Once she was at my house when I was folding my laundry and she laughed at my underwears because in her opinion, they were waaay to small for me. She was right. I guess I had just kept buying the same size through the years without giving it too much thought. Not sure how I missed that one. She also told me my pantyhose were too dark, that they should match my skin color, which I think was also right. Then I got dressed up for a date with my husband and she told me that my dress up earrings looked "granny." I think she was right about that, too. In fact, she helped me improve and update my style a lot, I think. But unfortunately, she was too outspoken and bossy all around and the friendship didn't last.
 
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Tonks

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Alternate perspective: some people don’t worry too terribly much about style and what they “should” look like. A few years ago I decided I was done with trying to keep up with trends. I wear what I like now and I’m so much happier. I’m sure it’s not necessarily high fashion, but it is me. I wear fairly casual clothing, but I can dress up well if needed. On the whole I wear lots and lots of black (it matches everything, hides stains well, and is classic). I don’t have to worry that trendy things have gone out of style from last season. If someone tried to tell me how I could be more Vogue-like, well, I would laugh.

So I guess what I’m saying is that if she asks, sure. If not, I’d leave it alone. She may have her reasons. Sometimes it is freeing to just be who you are.
 

seaurchin

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Ugh yeah I need a personal stylist who could help me figure out how to dress comfortably but in a flattering way.
This year i tried to get rid of most of my baggy comfy stuff & now i regret it....

I will not be the one to point out style errors, as you can see I wouldn't know lol
Yeah, my idea of desirable style upgrades would mostly be little things that don't take extra effort, like sparkly flip flops rather than the plain rubber ones lol.
 

Bron357

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When I was younger I was very conscious of “style and fashion” and dressed accordingly. I was aware of my ”pluses” being a small waist, shapely legs and dead straight no fuss hair that could go through a hurricane and still look...well....straight and chose outfits that suited me. But I have very pale, prone to freckle skin so I was never rocking a suntan so preferred winter fashions to summer.
Fast forward a few decades and I wear what I like, fashionable or not. I know, at my age, to avoid plunging necklines, exposing the midriff or wear anything more than 3 inches above the knee. If anyone asks my opinion on anything I am honest but tactful. I am good with words and choose them carefully unless provoked and then I slay!
 

seaurchin

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The things I notice are when something looks "off" with the effect that person seems to be going for.

For ex., someone wearing a sweat suit with no makeup or jewelry, yep, got it. But if that person was dolled up for a night on the town, that's when I'd notice something out of place. Or something about their everyday look when they are putting in the effort.

Like a co-worker I used to have, whose lipstick soon wore off and she spent her days with only a strange lipliner outline left around her mouth.
 
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stracci2000

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The things I notice are when something looks "off" with the effect that person seems to be going for.

For ex., someone wearing a sweat suit with no makeup or jewelry, yep, got it. But if that person was dolled up for a night on the town, that's when I'd notice something out of place. Or if it's something off about their everyday look, when they are putting in the effort.

Like a co-worker I used to have, whose lipstick soon wore off and she spent her days with only a strange, thick red outline left around her mouth. (After that, whenever I used a lipliner I'd apply it to my entire mouth instead of outlining).
I used to work with a lady who only wore heavy bottom eyeliner and foundation.
That's it. She looked so weird.
I would've gladly offered my highly regarded make-over services( :lol: ), but I kept my mouth shut.
This same woman showed up to a co-workers funeral wearing a T-shirt and jeans....uuuggghhh
 

seaurchin

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I used to work with a lady who only wore heavy bottom eyeliner and foundation.
That's it. She looked so weird.

I would've gladly offered my highly regarded make-over services( :lol: ), but I kept my mouth shut.
This same woman showed up to a co-workers funeral wearing a T-shirt and jeans....uuuggghhh
Oh dear. I've known a couple of women who outlined all around their eyes with eyeliner in a way that made it look like they had little goggles on, but I have never seen eyeliner only on the bottom.

It seems like the things you'd expect someone to appreciate being told the most are the things it is not polite to tell them. It is a paradox. Or a conundrum. Or... something.
 

stracci2000

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Oh dear. I've known a couple of women who outlined all around their eyes with eyeliner in a way that made it look like they had little goggles on, but I have never seen eyeliner only on the bottom.

It seems like the things you'd expect someone to appreciate being told the most are the things it is not polite to tell them. It is a paradox. Or a conundrum. Or... something.
Another lady I worked with had awful eyelashes. I think she didn't wash off the mascara, but just kept reapplying it day after day. She had like 5 clumpy spikes on each eye.
I got a headache just looking at her.
 

AllAboardTheBlingTrain

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I used to work with a lady who only wore heavy bottom eyeliner and foundation.
That's it. She looked so weird.
I would've gladly offered my highly regarded make-over services( :lol: ), but I kept my mouth shut.
This same woman showed up to a co-workers funeral wearing a T-shirt and jeans....uuuggghhh

Oh dear. I've known a couple of women who outlined all around their eyes with eyeliner in a way that made it look like they had little goggles on, but I have never seen eyeliner only on the bottom.

It seems like the things you'd expect someone to appreciate being told the most are the things it is not polite to tell them. It is a paradox. Or a conundrum. Or... something.
It’s possible the lower liner might be cultural btw. I see it all the time, and for myself as well - I’ll always put the bottom eyeliner even if I don’t always bother with the top. It’s pretty much a cultural thing in some parts of the world - kohl lining the bottom waterline of your eyes. I feel naked without the lower liner, lipstick and a bit of concealer but I don’t always put a full face on everyday. Looks great if you do it properly (makes your eyes look bigger and pop).
 

stracci2000

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When I was in high school, a friend used to use a cigarette lighter to melt the tip of her Maybelline eye liner pencil.
Then she would rub it all around her eyes like a ghoul. But this was before the Goth look. We always told her she looked like a racoon, but she never listened.

It's like all these women never read a fashion mag to get pointers on how to do it right...
 

seaurchin

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When I was in high school, a friend used to use a cigarette lighter to melt the tip of her Maybelline eye liner pencil.
Then she would rub it all around her eyes like a ghoul. But this was before the Goth look. We always told her she looked like a racoon, but she never listened.
:lol-2:

Also, let's not even get started on camel toes. And moose knuckles!

This young guy I knew thought women did camel toes on purpose to try to be alluring (like showing cleavage, I guess). :shock:
 
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rainydaze

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Not really, no. What people look like, or wear, is what people look like, or wear. I figure that they have their reasons for their choices - I know I sure do. If I wanted to up my game, I know how to go about doing so. The key is that I would be the one initiating this. If someone else came at me with advice it would not be well-received. Appearance is most often a very personal thing, even if a person appears not to place much priority on it.

I am much more sensitive to noticing ways people can improve their character, and not being able to look past that. I don't say anything with regard to this either. People are who they are, much like they wear what they wear.

All of that said, the one thing that does tempt me to say something has to do with hair. Having wavy hair and having learned how to work with it, I do notice when people have hair that could be much happier (and easier to do/manage!) if they know what I have learned. I wonder if they would appreciate how naturally gorgeous their hair is. Simply by understanding what type it is, what products to use/avoid, and what habits to adopt/ditch their hair could go from unruly to unreal, with little effort. Even so, I still don't say a word.
 

missy

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When I was in high school, a friend used to use a cigarette lighter to melt the tip of her Maybelline eye liner pencil.
Then she would rub it all around her eyes like a ghoul. But this was before the Goth look. We always told her she looked like a racoon, but she never listened.

It's like all these women never read a fashion mag to get pointers on how to do it right...
Lol. My cousin did this. It was her signature look. Being the sixties it was sort of in fashion. She looked good. IMO. Truth. Her eyes were amazingly beautiful to begin with and somehow on her it worked. :lol:
 

seaurchin

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Can I just say I'm not a fan of the nose ring through the middle of the nostrils (septum)? I feel this way because that is how they do it on cows. (I first recall seeing it on a celebrity, Katie Maloney-Schwartz, on VanderPump Rules). Maybe it would look good if it was a smaller, more delicate nose ring, though.

So now I just looked it up and apparently, they put them on calves who are being weaned, to prevent them from suckling, as well as on the bulls at agricultural shows, to lead and control them with. You just never know what you'll learn around here. :)
 
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MissyBeaucoup

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I wonder if the lady with the smallish pearl earrings received them as a gift. Maybe they have some sentimental meaning that makes them extra special. Sometimes it’s about how things make you feel on the inside.

One of my favorite rings is one my husband picked the stone for. It’s a color change garnet and looks black a lot of the time if the light is not bright enough, but he was thrilled to find it on eBay for me. It makes me remember his excitement. I have some earrings from a favorite aunt that are way too big for me but I wear them when I want to feel big and bold and nurtured.
 

Queenie60

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We are all different. Sometimes I see a person wearing something and wonder where in the world they find things like that! I'm sure that some feel I am much too conservative with my dress and could use a bit of edge at times. I am comfortable with my own personal style.
 

lissyflo

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The only time I’d intentionally comment on someone’s appearance without them asking me to is if there’s what I assume is an obvious blunder - food stuck in their teeth, loo roll trailing from a shoe, skirt tucked into their knickers type issue. That’s negative comments; positive comments I’d give freely as they pop into my head.

I’m with @Tonks - I wear what I wear because I like it. That might be because I like the way it makes me look, or because it’s comfy or because I like the fact that I didn’t need to iron it that morning! Taste is personal; maybe your colleague has posted a thread on here wondering if she should have a word with the lady in her office who wears earrings that are too large?!;)2
 

iluvshinythings

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I do my own thing these days. If I'm clean and comfortable, I assume that everything else is okay. I do dress appropriately for the occasion though and would not, for example, wear sweat pants to a wedding, job interview or funeral.

If I want an opinion on my appearance or style, I'll ask and express appreciation for the opinion. I have one friend that is very stylish and brutally honest. She lets me know what she thinks whether I want to know or not and sometimes it's irritating and I'll avoid her if I'm having an off day (style wise).

My rule is to never offer an opinion about someone unless it's something I'd want to know and that can be fixed right away. For example, if I see someone with their skirt tucked in their underwear or something in their teeth or runny mascara or pants unzipped, I will discretely say something. If it's something that they'd have to go home to do something about, I leave it alone - unless it's something major like a big blood stain in the crotch area - because I'd want to know about that. If someone asks my opinion I do my best to be honest and polite.
 

seaurchin

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Does anyone have more examples of style oddities that stood out to them?
 
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AprilBaby

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I need a style consultant.o_O
 

Matata

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The virtue signaling that happens in these types of threads makes me :rolleyes: Yeah, it's no one business what others look like or wear. Yeah, every person on the planet likely has a trauma or tragedy they're dealing with or have dealt with or might be from a culture whose traditions we don't understand so making judgements about how they look makes one a bad person. Yeah, we should not offer comments unless asked by people with whom we have that type of relationship.

That said:

When I see someone wearing pajamas and slippers in the grocery store, my first thought isn't "gee, maybe they spent the night on the floor of the hospital room of their dying loved one and didn't have time to go home to change" or "good on them for being comfy while doing chores". My first thought is, "Whyyyyyyy are you wearing the equivalent of underwear in the store."
Color me a bad person.

When I saw a 350 lb plus woman sitting across from me in a restaurant wearing lime green tights that slid off her entire butt and showed her butt crack stuffed with a black thong, I did a mental edit.
Color me a bad person.

What goes on in my brain as I'm exercising my judgyness does not come out my mouth. I also realize that sometimes when I make those internal judgements that I'm actually judging the things I don't like about me.
Color me a flawed human.
 

lissyflo

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The virtue signaling that happens in these types of threads makes me :rolleyes: Yeah, it's no one business what others look like or wear. Yeah, every person on the planet likely has a trauma or tragedy they're dealing with or have dealt with or might be from a culture whose traditions we don't understand so making judgements about how they look makes one a bad person. Yeah, we should not offer comments unless asked by people with whom we have that type of relationship.

That said:

When I see someone wearing pajamas and slippers in the grocery store, my first thought isn't "gee, maybe they spent the night on the floor of the hospital room of their dying loved one and didn't have time to go home to change" or "good on them for being comfy while doing chores". My first thought is, "Whyyyyyyy are you wearing the equivalent of underwear in the store."
Color me a bad person.

When I saw a 350 lb plus woman sitting across from me in a restaurant wearing lime green tights that slid off her entire butt and showed her butt crack stuffed with a black thong, I did a mental edit.
Color me a bad person.

What goes on in my brain as I'm exercising my judgyness does not come out my mouth. I also realize that sometimes when I make those internal judgements that I'm actually judging the things I don't like about me.
Color me a flawed human.
I’m not sure that virtue signalling is a fair accusation. The original question was whether you had to suppress an urge to comment, not whether you mentally judged people.

Of course we all mentally judge people. It’s part of assessing the environment you’re in. The person in pjs in a shop that you refer to could just want to be comfy or could be mentally unstable; unusual, ‘non-herd‘ behaviour is potentially threatening, or at least warrants a closer assessment, so we’re primed by years of evolution to notice and assess such things. Nothing wrong in that, it’s survival of the fittest in action.

Asking whether people have to suppress an urge to comment is a very different question though. I don’t think it’s virtue signalling to say that I have no desire (or right) to actually comment on what someone else wears from a style perspective. Just my view.
 
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