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Strange Personalities...

asscherisme

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 6, 2006
Messages
2,883
I always give people the benefit of the doubt when I first meet them. We all don't make a great first impression and sometimes it takes time to see the true person's personality and character unfold.

However I do live by the motto fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.

Life is too short and too challenging to suffer people who don't truly care about your well being andwho are insincere. The term frenemies comes to mind. No thank you.

So yeah, when you do show me who you are rest assured I am listening.

believethem.jpg

My favorite quote of all time. I raised my children on this quote! And it has served them really well as they learn to navigate the world. And for my birthday last year, my son bought me the complete works of Maya Angelou's poetry.
 

Madam Bijoux

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 15, 2005
Messages
5,201
People like that are the reason we have two ears: everything they say can go in one ear and out the other ear.
 

kayla17

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 14, 2003
Messages
2,356
I have a strange friend story. I’ve known her for over four years now. Since knowing her she has been to my home several times and I’ve only been invited to her house once.
A few times she has asked me to host something and told me her family was coming as well. Like for July 4th and Fathers Day. She asked me to throw something together and I did, only for her to cancel at the last minute or show up by herself when I had prepared food and drinks for more people.
I don’t know if her husband likes me (we’ve only met twice) but one day she had a garage sale and asked me to come help her sell things. Not once did she invite me inside and when her husband came out to put the tent away, he didn’t say hello to me. Even though I had been outside of their house for 4 hours helping her sell things.
I think the last straw with her was this last week. It was my birthday and I never celebrate it but I decided I wanted to go out for drinks. I planned this over a month ago. She said she and her neighbor would come. I met her neighbor previously at the garage sale. I also asked a few co-workers to go as well but she was not aware of this. As far as she knew it was only going to be us three.
Anyway, I had asked her a few times if she wanted to drive together to the place and she never responded. Then 40 minutes prior to us meeting there, she text me and said she couldn’t go. I asked if her neighbor could still go and she said she was not available as well.
I decided to message her neighbor to let her know that I was still going out and she could still come if she wanted to, and guess what? She had no idea what I was talking about. She told me my friend never told her about going out that night. I was very surprised when she told me this.
This is now the fourth time she has cancelled on me and I’ve decided enough is enough.
 

Daisys and Diamonds

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2019
Messages
8,857
I have a strange friend story. I’ve known her for over four years now. Since knowing her she has been to my home several times and I’ve only been invited to her house once.
A few times she has asked me to host something and told me her family was coming as well. Like for July 4th and Fathers Day. She asked me to throw something together and I did, only for her to cancel at the last minute or show up by herself when I had prepared food and drinks for more people.
I don’t know if her husband likes me (we’ve only met twice) but one day she had a garage sale and asked me to come help her sell things. Not once did she invite me inside and when her husband came out to put the tent away, he didn’t say hello to me. Even though I had been outside of their house for 4 hours helping her sell things.
I think the last straw with her was this last week. It was my birthday and I never celebrate it but I decided I wanted to go out for drinks. I planned this over a month ago. She said she and her neighbor would come. I met her neighbor previously at the garage sale. I also asked a few co-workers to go as well but she was not aware of this. As far as she knew it was only going to be us three.
Anyway, I had asked her a few times if she wanted to drive together to the place and she never responded. Then 40 minutes prior to us meeting there, she text me and said she couldn’t go. I asked if her neighbor could still go and she said she was not available as well.
I decided to message her neighbor to let her know that I was still going out and she could still come if she wanted to, and guess what? She had no idea what I was talking about. She told me my friend never told her about going out that night. I was very surprised when she told me this.
This is now the fourth time she has cancelled on me and I’ve decided enough is enough.

that's wreird
sounds like she's playing some kind of game with you
she could have at least given you a long cold drink and something nice to nibble on the porch after helping at her garage sale
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
43,760
I don’t get the whole neighbor stuff. I only know their names and seldom interact, maybe a wave hello if we see each other. Isn’t it easier to maintain a respectful distance? I can’t stand people getting into my business.

I agree. For me, the best neighbors are those that are respectful of your privacy and you of theirs. But friendly in that you exchange casual hellos when you see them. We are so fortunate in that both our direct neighbors are great. P and T are friendly but respectful and when we see them we exchange a few minutes of casual conversation and same with our other neighbors V and M and truthfully we rarely see anyone these days due to the pandemic keeping many people inside most of the time.

But in an emergency we would be there for them as they would be there for us.

I learned my lesson with our last neighbors who moved away a few years ago. When we first moved in they were way too friendly and started squirming their way into our lives and tried telling us what to do (with our backyard) all for their selfish reasons. Becoming too friendly leads to familiarity and the false sense that one can tell someone else what to do when in reality it is none of their business.

Quotation-Carl-Sandburg-Love-your-neighbor-as-yourself-but-don-t-take-down-25-81-09.jpg
 

Daisys and Diamonds

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2019
Messages
8,857
I agree. For me, the best neighbors are those that are respectful of your privacy and you of theirs. But friendly in that you exchange casual hellos when you see them. We are so fortunate in that both our direct neighbors are great. P and T are friendly but respectful and when we see them we exchange a few minutes of casual conversation and same with our other neighbors V and M and truthfully we rarely see anyone these days due to the pandemic keeping many people inside most of the time.

But in an emergency we would be there for them as they would be there for us.

I learned my lesson with our last neighbors who moved away a few years ago. When we first moved in they were way too friendly and started squirming their way into our lives and tried telling us what to do (with our backyard) all for their selfish reasons. Becoming too friendly leads to familiarity and the false sense that one can tell someone else what to do when in reality it is none of their business.

Quotation-Carl-Sandburg-Love-your-neighbor-as-yourself-but-don-t-take-down-25-81-09.jpg

another good one from you tonight dear Missy
 

MMtwo

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 20, 2009
Messages
2,348
I have a strange friend story. I’ve known her for over four years now. Since knowing her she has been to my home several times and I’ve only been invited to her house once.
A few times she has asked me to host something and told me her family was coming as well. Like for July 4th and Fathers Day. She asked me to throw something together and I did, only for her to cancel at the last minute or show up by herself when I had prepared food and drinks for more people.
I don’t know if her husband likes me (we’ve only met twice) but one day she had a garage sale and asked me to come help her sell things. Not once did she invite me inside and when her husband came out to put the tent away, he didn’t say hello to me. Even though I had been outside of their house for 4 hours helping her sell things.
I think the last straw with her was this last week. It was my birthday and I never celebrate it but I decided I wanted to go out for drinks. I planned this over a month ago. She said she and her neighbor would come. I met her neighbor previously at the garage sale. I also asked a few co-workers to go as well but she was not aware of this. As far as she knew it was only going to be us three.
Anyway, I had asked her a few times if she wanted to drive together to the place and she never responded. Then 40 minutes prior to us meeting there, she text me and said she couldn’t go. I asked if her neighbor could still go and she said she was not available as well.
I decided to message her neighbor to let her know that I was still going out and she could still come if she wanted to, and guess what? She had no idea what I was talking about. She told me my friend never told her about going out that night. I was very surprised when she told me this.
This is now the fourth time she has cancelled on me and I’ve decided enough is enough.

You know how they tell you if you see a fox out in the middle of the day and it comes your way and is overly friendly it could be rabid? LOL...people who behave strangely without a reason such as this are likewise best left alone. Yes, that's just strange.


I agree. For me, the best neighbors are those that are respectful of your privacy and you of theirs. But friendly in that you exchange casual hellos when you see them. We are so fortunate in that both our direct neighbors are great. P and T are friendly but respectful and when we see them we exchange a few minutes of casual conversation and same with our other neighbors V and M and truthfully we rarely see anyone these days due to the pandemic keeping many people inside most of the time.

But in an emergency we would be there for them as they would be there for us.

I learned my lesson with our last neighbors who moved away a few years ago. When we first moved in they were way too friendly and started squirming their way into our lives and tried telling us what to do (with our backyard) all for their selfish reasons. Becoming too friendly leads to familiarity and the false sense that one can tell someone else what to do when in reality it is none of their business.

Quotation-Carl-Sandburg-Love-your-neighbor-as-yourself-but-don-t-take-down-25-81-09.jpg

Amen! Our neighbours are friendly in a grab the mail for us kind of way, but we don't hang out together. They bring us tomatoes when they have too many and I share pickles when I make them. We talk about mutual neighbourhood concerns by text and are cordial...but not buddies. I am good with that.
 

MMtwo

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 20, 2009
Messages
2,348
I have one neighbour down the street that goes walking most days. If i am driving down our quiet street, or as she is walking by, I try to smile. She purposefully turns her head and looks in any direction but mine. I have no idea what could possibly be the situation or how I have offended this woman. She makes it a point not to acknowledge me. I never met her.
 

stracci2000

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 26, 2007
Messages
4,997
I used to work with a lady who was hot and cold, and it drove me nuts.
She was my supervisor and I had to deal with her everyday. One day she would be mean or not speaking to anyone. The next day she would be sweet as pie. I could never figure her out, and it made me hate that job. She was the only person I ever knew who threw out such hostile vibes.
I was so happy when she was on vacation!

I actually have the best neighbors. On one side, my neighbor 'C' is a super friendly country boy with conservative ideas. We have had many friendly debates! I know for sure he would run over here with his firearm if we ever needed his help!

And across the street are D & S who are two lovely people.
We keep an eye on each others homes, and swap home made baked goods. They always remember our birthdays and send cake.
 

Arcadian

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Sep 17, 2008
Messages
7,828
My neigbors think I'm a wierdo. Nice, but a wierdo, who loves her dog...lol. I wave at everyone as I take my walks because thats the polite and neighborly thing to do. That works for me. IMO they don't need to know more beyond those things.
 

House Cat

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Feb 22, 2009
Messages
4,422
I have one neighbour down the street that goes walking most days. If i am driving down our quiet street, or as she is walking by, I try to smile. She purposefully turns her head and looks in any direction but mine. I have no idea what could possibly be the situation or how I have offended this woman. She makes it a point not to acknowledge me. I never met her.

This is me. I’m shy. I have massive social anxiety. It would be my luck that if I were to smile while walking, I would trip and break my face. It’s happened a time or two and I’ve learned my lesson.
 

MMtwo

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 20, 2009
Messages
2,348
This is me. I’m shy. I have massive social anxiety. It would be my luck that if I were to smile while walking, I would trip and break my face. It’s happened a time or two and I’ve learned my lesson.

:) That's a helpful way to look at it. I worry way too much about things like this - not that I judge her for keeping to herself, but I assume I have inadvertently done some offence. I also have social anxiety, so there it is.
 

Daisys and Diamonds

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2019
Messages
8,857
:) That's a helpful way to look at it. I worry way too much about things like this - not that I judge her for keeping to herself, but I assume I have inadvertently done some offence. I also have social anxiety, so there it is.

we are almost the only white people in our street
we wave at everybody
some wave back, some dont
im from down south where its polite to smile and say hello to strangers

the people over the road i thought ran hot and cold
but then the other day she knocked on our door and asked if we would like then to cut our grass verg (for free - just being neighborly)
i try to give the 'unfriendly ' ones the benefit of the doubt, who really knows what their day has been like

where we lived in Wellington near Porirua was full of Pacific people who were always freindly

i just don't think too deeply about it and just carry on waving and saying hello
 

doberman

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Mar 2, 2012
Messages
2,036
I rarely see my neighbors, which is good. I loathe them. I had to go to mediation because they didn't like my dog barking. She was never kept outside barking, she would emit a few woods when I first let outside, to let the deer know she was there.

The guy actually called me and said, "considering where we live we shouldn't have to hear things like dogs barking". I told him that he moved to the country, not utopia. It's about 50 minutes outside NYC. I heard that they're moving and the day I see the moving van I'm doing a happy dance.

The other neighbors are a very nice Indian family. Thankfully they're normal.
 

Daisys and Diamonds

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2019
Messages
8,857
I rarely see my neighbors, which is good. I loathe them. I had to go to mediation because they didn't like my dog barking. She was never kept outside barking, she would emit a few woods when I first let outside, to let the deer know she was there.

The guy actually called me and said, "considering where we live we shouldn't have to hear things like dogs barking". I told him that he moved to the country, not utopia. It's about 50 minutes outside NYC. I heard that they're moving and the day I see the moving van I'm doing a happy dance.

The other neighbors are a very nice Indian family. Thankfully they're normal.

we had Indian neighbours for a while
never really got to know them
their dinner always smelt nicer than ours
 

doberman

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Mar 2, 2012
Messages
2,036
we had Indian neighbours for a while
never really got to know them
their dinner always smelt nicer than oursP

Well I'm fortunate to have an Indian daughter-in-law to be. She's always bringing me nice treats...she knows my weakness for samosas. And we get together with her folks for food occasions, although not since this second wave hit. :((
 

mellowyellowgirl

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
May 17, 2014
Messages
4,210
I have a strange friend story. I’ve known her for over four years now. Since knowing her she has been to my home several times and I’ve only been invited to her house once.
A few times she has asked me to host something and told me her family was coming as well. Like for July 4th and Fathers Day. She asked me to throw something together and I did, only for her to cancel at the last minute or show up by herself when I had prepared food and drinks for more people.
I don’t know if her husband likes me (we’ve only met twice) but one day she had a garage sale and asked me to come help her sell things. Not once did she invite me inside and when her husband came out to put the tent away, he didn’t say hello to me. Even though I had been outside of their house for 4 hours helping her sell things.
I think the last straw with her was this last week. It was my birthday and I never celebrate it but I decided I wanted to go out for drinks. I planned this over a month ago. She said she and her neighbor would come. I met her neighbor previously at the garage sale. I also asked a few co-workers to go as well but she was not aware of this. As far as she knew it was only going to be us three.
Anyway, I had asked her a few times if she wanted to drive together to the place and she never responded. Then 40 minutes prior to us meeting there, she text me and said she couldn’t go. I asked if her neighbor could still go and she said she was not available as well.
I decided to message her neighbor to let her know that I was still going out and she could still come if she wanted to, and guess what? She had no idea what I was talking about. She told me my friend never told her about going out that night. I was very surprised when she told me this.
This is now the fourth time she has cancelled on me and I’ve decided enough is enough.

Ooh there's a wacko right there!

I'm seething on your behalf at the meal you planned that she didn't go to. I would have come I love parties!
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
43,760
I have a strange friend story. I’ve known her for over four years now. Since knowing her she has been to my home several times and I’ve only been invited to her house once.
A few times she has asked me to host something and told me her family was coming as well. Like for July 4th and Fathers Day. She asked me to throw something together and I did, only for her to cancel at the last minute or show up by herself when I had prepared food and drinks for more people.
I don’t know if her husband likes me (we’ve only met twice) but one day she had a garage sale and asked me to come help her sell things. Not once did she invite me inside and when her husband came out to put the tent away, he didn’t say hello to me. Even though I had been outside of their house for 4 hours helping her sell things.
I think the last straw with her was this last week. It was my birthday and I never celebrate it but I decided I wanted to go out for drinks. I planned this over a month ago. She said she and her neighbor would come. I met her neighbor previously at the garage sale. I also asked a few co-workers to go as well but she was not aware of this. As far as she knew it was only going to be us three.
Anyway, I had asked her a few times if she wanted to drive together to the place and she never responded. Then 40 minutes prior to us meeting there, she text me and said she couldn’t go. I asked if her neighbor could still go and she said she was not available as well.
I decided to message her neighbor to let her know that I was still going out and she could still come if she wanted to, and guess what? She had no idea what I was talking about. She told me my friend never told her about going out that night. I was very surprised when she told me this.
This is now the fourth time she has cancelled on me and I’ve decided enough is enough.

Kayla, I'm sorry your "friend" behaves/behaved like this. Definitely not a friend. I am glad you finally found out now vs much later. I get it because while I didn't go though exactly the same experience I had someone in my life who I thought of as a friend and it took about 4 years to realize she truly wasn't a friend at all. It was hard because she always said the right things but actions speak volumes above words.

I am glad you are out of that situation and onto healthier relationships and I also want to wish you a belated happy birthday! I may only know you from PS but I know you are a special person and you rock @kayla17.

hbdiamondgif.gif
 

kayla17

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 14, 2003
Messages
2,356
that's wreird
sounds like she's playing some kind of game with you
she could have at least given you a long cold drink and something nice to nibble on the porch after helping at her garage sale

That’s sort of how I felt. She has been to my house plenty of times and I aways have a nice meal and drinks prepared for her. The least she could have done was offer me water.

Ooh there's a wacko right there!

I'm seething on your behalf at the meal you planned that she didn't go to. I would have come I love parties!

I think what bugs me most is I am an introvert. It takes a lot for me to go out and she knows this. Also she didn’t know I invited other people. As far as she was aware I had only asked her and her neighbor to come out. She had to be aware that if she and her neighbor couldn’t come out that meant the entire thing would have to be cancelled bc I wasn’t going out by myself for drinks.

Kayla, I'm sorry your "friend" behaves/behaved like this. Definitely not a friend. I am glad you finally found out now vs much later. I get it because while I didn't go though exactly the same experience I had someone in my life who I thought of as a friend and it took about 4 years to realize she truly wasn't a friend at all. It was hard because she always said the right things but actions speak volumes above words.

I am glad you are out of that situation and onto healthier relationships and I also want to wish you a belated happy birthday! I may only know you from PS but I know you are a special person and you rock @kayla17.

hbdiamondgif.gif

Thanks missy! It’s hard BC I have a hard time making friends and I think I go above and beyond for the few I have. So this friend in particular I would always try to accommodate all her requests.
 

Arcadian

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Sep 17, 2008
Messages
7,828
wow @kayla17 thats beyond weird. I'm glad you cut her loose!
 
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